Fast Forward

by Juliet Madison

“You know … The Lizardile, from the book and movie series?”

  I stared at him blankly.

  “The mutant lizard-slash-crocodile who defeated the Lord of Zarcan to free the inhabitants of Drokon Island? The only book and film franchise to outsell Harry Potter?”

  “Oh, that Lizardile, of course!” How the heck could a mutant lizard crocodile creature thingy outsell Harry Potter?

  “And Ben’s dressing up as The Frake, my accomplice.” I stared blankly at Ryan again as he spoke. “Frog. Snake. Frake?”

  “Yes, that’s right. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it.” God I hope it wasn’t released just last week or anything. I should really learn to think before I speak. “So, Ben’s coming, huh? Have you thought any further about telling him how you feel?”

  Ryan dipped his head and sat on the bed. “I was thinking about telling him tonight, but I’m still not sure. What if he doesn’t feel the same and then storms out and our band breaks up and he never speaks to me again and I can no longer get discount bungy jumps?”

  I sat next to Ryan on the bed, touched that he could talk to his mother about these things. I must be pretty cool. “You’ll never know if you don’t try,” I said.

  “I know. I’m just … scared.” He picked up his tail and fiddled with the spikes protruding from it.

  Awareness of how important this was to him hit me like a slap on the face. All day I’d been concerned only with myself, but somehow, this future was real, even if it wouldn’t eventuate again once I got back home. Ryan needed my help, my words of wisdom, if I could summon any.

  I drew a sharp intake of air, still somewhat in oxygen debt from the recent trauma and said, “If you truly love someone and want to be with them, you can’t waste any time wondering. You have to take a risk, take the opportunity when it arises and tell them how you feel. Because one day you might wake up and they could be gone. Don’t let the chance of happiness slip through your fingers.”

  Ryan’s wide eyes looked at me from beneath his crocodile mask and he smiled. “You’re absolutely right, Mum. I’m going to tell him. Tonight.”

  I seriously hoped I’d given him the right advice and didn’t just dig a proverbial grave for his ego. I said what felt right and the rest was up to him. He was a grown man, er … Lizardile.

  “Are we having the party in here instead?” Will pushed open the bedroom door and walked through, lifting his tie over his head, kicking off his shoes, and placing a shopping bag—no doubt containing our bedroom supplies—in the corner of the room.

  “Mum and I were just having a chat, but I’d better get back out there before the guests arrive,” said Ryan. “You should get a move on with your costume, Dad.”

  “Yep, I know. It won’t take long, it’s a one piece suit,” he said and Ryan and I burst out laughing. If only he knew what I’d been through with my one piece suit.

  Will eyed us with a curious smile and I flicked my hand at him. “Private joke, don’t worry.”

  “Fair enough.” He unbuttoned his shirt then paused to glance at his e-pad. “Bugger, I won’t have time for a shower.” He withdrew a deodorant bottle from his bedside table, giving each of his armpits a quick spray, a warm spicy scent filling the room. “Hey, why aren’t you wearing your costume?”

  “She’s going as her twenty-five-year-old self,” Ryan explained, smiling and exiting the bedroom, leaving a whiff of fruity aftershave in his wake which battled with the opposing scent of Will’s deodorant.

  “Is that so?” Will sidled up to me. “In honour of the age you were when we first met again, huh?”

  “Yes, I thought it would be a nice idea.”

  “And you’re even wearing the same dress you wore that night.” He ran his hand down my arm and eyed the length of my body. “Looking good, honey.” He removed his shirt and shoved it into a chute like the one in the kitchen, revealing a light layer of hair on his chest and surprisingly sculpted abs. Not model material, but he obviously looked after himself. For an old guy.

  “Thanks,” I said as he undid his belt and, realising I’d see a whole lot more of Will than I was used to if I didn’t act soon, I shuffled my tightly enclosed body over to the ensuite and opened the door. “I ah, I’ll just fix up my hair and make-up.” I slid the door closed behind me just as the pants slid down his legs.

  I rearranged my make-up back to its correct geographical locations and found a brush, hair elastic and bobby pins in the bathroom cabinet to pull my hair back in as close to a chignon as I could manage. I finished off with a spray of some perfume I’d never heard of, but smelt divine, and opened the door a fraction to make sure Will was decent. My jaw dropped as I opened the door to find Will in a Superman outfit, standing with his fists planted firmly on his hips and the moulded muscles of his suit making him appear bigger than he was.

  “I’ve come to rescue you,” he said, scooping me off the ground and into his arms then collapsing on the bed with me in laughter. “Okay, my superpowers might kick in a bit later. I need to get warmed up first.” He smiled and I couldn’t help but smile too. He was such a dork. But a cute dork nonetheless.

  Ding, dong!

  “Sounds like our first guests have arrived,” Will said.

  “Can you help me up? My dress is a little on the tight side.”

  He pushed on my back to lift my rigid body from the bed and I took a preparatory breath.

  “Shall we?” He offered his crooked elbow and I linked my arm with his and headed to where the party was about to begin.

  Chapter 14

  Party Time!

  “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”

  – Henry David Thoreau

  “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s—”

  “It’s your father, now come here and give me a hug.” Will wrapped his arms around Diora. “How’s baby?”

  “Kicking like mad, having its own party in there, I’m sure.” Diora waddled into the living room, the soft netting of her pink fairy outfit wafting side to side. The fancy wings attached to her back didn’t provide any lightness as she trudged towards a seat.

  “Hey man, all ready for fatherhood?” Will asked a man in a wizard costume, presumably Dumbledore as he wore thin glasses, a long white beard pulled into a pony tail at the front and fancy robes trailing on the floor.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be,” he replied.

  A short caterer approached carrying a tray of drinks which looked like test tubes. “Can I interest you in a glass of champagne, sir?” he asked Will, who lifted a tube and took a sip.

  “Thanks.”

  “And you, sir?” the caterer-turned-waiter asked Diora’s husband.

  “No thanks. Permanent on-call taxi duty for me.” He pointed to Diora and her protruding belly. “Any day now.”

  The waiter nodded. “Perhaps you’d like a sparkling mineral water, soft drink, or juice?”

  “Lime mineral water please,” he said and the waiter disappeared to the kitchen, returning with two tubes of green-tinged liquid, handing one to Diora also.

  “And what would the birthday girl like to drink?” The waiter turned to me.

  “Champagne, please.” I regretted my decision as soon as he’d handed me the tube and I’d gulped half of it in one hit. How I was supposed to get through this party without needing the bathroom and an entourage of assistants to help with my underwear I had no idea.

  Diora’s husband kissed my cheek and handed me a small gift. Will took it from me and whisked it away to a dedicated gift table, on which sat a vase containing the flowers Selena had sent and an envelope propped against it. I wondered if I’d designed the vase myself. It was unique, shaped like a spiralling splash of water wrapping around the stems. Nice.

  “Thanks,” I said with a smile and walked to Diora in the Bliss Garden to give her a motherly hug, which triggered a five minute talking spree about the three stages of labour and the types of aromatherapy oils she planned on using, along with matching music to maxi
mise the effectiveness of the uterine contractions. I expected her to whip out a remote device like the one I’d used in the meeting and give a PowerPoint presentation, complete with graphs and animations and sound effects, but was saved by the bell.

  “Happy birthday to our favourite daughter-in-law!” A woman in a green dress with a large blue beehive hairdo and big fake eyes came through the front door, along with a large man with the same eyes wearing a white t-shirt which was obviously filled out with extra padding around the stomach.

  “Doh, I forgot the present!” The man ducked outside and returned moments later with a wrapped gift.

  Well, well, well … looked my parents-in-law were Marge and Homer Simpson. So, The Simpsons were still popular twenty five years in the future! They hugged me and asked why I wasn’t in fancy dress, so I told them I was the twenty-five-year-old Kelli and they too, like Ryan, thought it was a good idea.

  Marge walked through the living room ‘ooh-ing and ah-ing’ at the decorations and her beehive got caught in a string of origami flowers hanging from the ceiling. “Oh dear, what have I done?” She tugged at the string and instead of coming loose from her beehive it came loose from the ceiling. “Oh, I’m terribly sorry,” she said, glancing at Ryan, then at her husband. “I knew I should have come dressed as Madonna.” She continued tugging at the flowers stuck to her beehive but they didn’t budge.

  “Leave them in, I think they look good,” Ryan said, snapping a photo of Marge. “Now, you two, over here.” Ryan gestured for Will and me to stand near the Bliss Garden. He took a photo with his e-pad and did the same with Diora and Dumbledore, and my parents-in-law who I’d be calling Marge and Homer until I discovered their real names. Or, I could always call them Mum and Dad. Daughters-in-law often did that, didn’t they?

  I wondered what Grant’s parents were like. I knew they were divorced, but apparently still co-owned an investment company and lived in the same street. I was due to meet them tomorrow afternoon on our way to the luxury cabin we’d booked for the weekend. Perfect timing, considering Grant and I would have an announcement to make.

  “Can I offer you a drink, sir?” In true Homer fashion, my temporary father-in-law accepted a beer from the waiter and wandered to The Galaxy outside. Marge followed, getting stuck on another flower on the way.

  I downed the rest of my champagne as the doorbell rang again. Kasey walked in baring a little too much flesh than was appropriate for someone of her size. She wore a brown dress—or more accurately, piece of fabric—wrapped around her body like a diagonal sash and her hair was messed up on purpose. “Me, cavewoman,” she said gruffly.

  “And me, caveman.” A man walked through the door after her, nothing but a brown sash covering his groin and a scruffy fake beard attached to his chin. If he was a scientist, he looked like he spent more time outdoors than in and more time at the gym than the lab. He was toned and buff, he was hot, he was …

  Max Sheldon! The underwear model Kasey had a crush on since forever and who would have been joining me at my twenty-fifth birthday party.

  Kasey married Max Sheldon? How did she score someone like him? He’d had women falling at his feet, could have any woman in the entire world, yet he chose … my sister?

  I lifted my jaw from the floor and welcomed them into the house with a kiss on the cheek, and a lingering embrace for Max, because I wanted to feel if his muscles were as firm as they appeared. They were. “It’s great to see you Max, you’re looking … very natural.”

  He gave a caveman grunt, then laughed. “The outfits were Kasey’s idea and a good one too. Especially considering today’s warm weather.”

  Kasey sidled up to her husband. “It’s going to be even warmer tonight,” she whispered, but not soft enough that I couldn’t hear and Max flashed a cheeky grin and wrapped an arm around her, drawing her in for a kiss.

  Crash! My champagne tube fell, the shards of glass reflecting flickers of light from the fairy lights around the room.

  “Damn! Sorry,” I said to the nearest caterer, who deftly scooped up the broken glass and extended some kind of mini sucking machine which eliminated the remaining shards.

  Kasey approached and leaned into my ear. “Are you okay? You were pretty upset at lunch, is everything alright?”

  “Yes, of course. Sorry about that, I’ve had a long day, that’s all.” I pulled a confident smile. “But tonight’s going to be great, isn’t it? And you and Max, wow, I can’t believe …”

  Oops.

  “Can’t believe what?”

  “Can’t believe how … great you both look. Age has been kind to Max, hasn’t it?”

  “Hasn’t it ever.” She winked, before discreetly placing a gift on the table.

  I explained once again why I was wearing normal, if somewhat old-fashioned clothes and lifted champagne from the passing tray. Ryan turned up the music volume, which was obviously not his creation as it sounded nice. Relaxed, ambient, cruisy music, but not too relaxed to be doze-worthy. I bopped my head and tapped my toe so I looked to be enjoying myself and gave thanks that if I didn’t know someone’s name I could call them by their fancy dress persona. So long as there weren’t any more surprises a-la The Lizardile.

  A kerfuffle of voices burst through the door, as two men entered wearing police officer costumes—okay, for a moment I thought they actually were police officers—and I startled on seeing the figure of a woman in an elaborate ghost costume. Layers upon layers of floaty white tulle covered her whole body except for her face, painted white with grey shadows under her eyes.

  “Recovered from your hot flush yet?” the ghost asked.

  “Elaine?”

  “My costume’s that good, eh? You don’t even recognise your best friend?” She winked.

  “It’s fantastic, very spooky.” I nodded, chuckling to myself that she probably dressed as a ghost to avoid wearing a SlimFX Magic Suit like me. Smart woman.

  The policemen gave Will a friendly slap on the back then approached me with a hug, which I returned rather pathetically, my arms unable to extend above shoulder height thanks to the restriction of my outfit. A woman entered the house and slid an arm around one of the men, then a familiar-looking woman entered and approached Ryan. She gave him a loud squelchy kiss on both cheeks, which by the look on his face he despised. She wore a soft white halter dress, blond wig and blood-red lipstick, now imprinted onto the small part of Ryan’s cheeks that were visible through his mask. She was obviously Marilyn Monroe and I recognised her as the woman from the lift that had spoken to me on my way to the KC Interiors meeting.

  “Regina, long time no see, huh?” Will’s voice held a tinge of sarcasm.

  “Yet I’ve missed you so much.” She repeated her kissing fest on Will’s cheeks, before she sidled up to the two men that entered earlier. “And who are these gorgeous beings?” she asked them, holding out her hand. By the looks on their faces, they didn’t know whether she expected them to kiss her hand or shake it, but on grasping her hand, Regina pulled one of the men in close and kissed him on the cheeks too, the red lipstick right at home on his flushed face.

  “Kelli, honey.” Regina kissed me too. “Sorry I didn’t stop to chat earlier today, but I knew you had that important meeting. How’d it go?”

  “It was … interesting,” I replied. “I think it went well.”

  “And don’t you look ravishing tonight? Your dress, what a lovely vintage piece.” She placed her fingers on the shoulder strap.

  Vintage? This was new season Vera Wang!

  “Now who is that gorgeous guy I had the pleasure of embarrassing?” She pointed to one of the fake policemen. “I only got his name … Steven. But how are you two connected?”

  “Um … well, ah …” How the heck should I know?

  Will came over and propped an arm around each of us. “I hear you’ve been flirting with my little brother, Regina?”

  “Steven’s my brother-in-law.” I nodded as if I’d known this all along. Phew! Thanks Will.

&
nbsp; “And the other one?”

  “That’s my older brother, John,” Will replied. “And,” he emphasised, “that woman next to him is his wife.”

  “I see, well I won’t bother with him then, unless … would you say their marriage is strong? Or is it on the rocks, even just a little?” She pinched her thumb and forefinger together in the air.

  “Don’t even think about it.” Will wagged a finger at Regina and as a waiter held a tray in front of her, she swiftly took a glass and tipped her head back.

  More people filtered into the house, dressed in various costumes ranging from cowboys to clowns. No one had thought about coming as their younger self and I felt quite proud to be the stand-out among a crowd of people looking like idiots.

  “Kelli, happy birthday!” said a woman about thirty or so, swathed in a Cleopatra garment and with long black hair that actually appeared real. “So what did you think of Maurice’s proposal on Monday? I mean, what did you really think?”

  Huh?

  Maurice. Proposal. Okay, I could wing this.

  “Well, I thought it was … sweet.”

  “Sweet?”

  “Yeah, sweet. Didn’t you? Proposals are always sweet.”

  She narrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head. “I’ve never thought of them that way, but I guess, they could kinda be seen as sweet. Considering they’re trying to win you over.”

  “Of course.”

  “So are you going to say yes?” she asked.

  I almost dropped my champagne tube again. “What? Me?”

  “Well the decision rests with you of course. You are the creative director.”

  Ohhh, right. A business proposal. Not a marriage proposal. Duh Kelli! I cleared my throat. “I’ll ah, have to discuss it with Will and have a long hard think about it.”

  “Right, well I look forward to your decision.” She smiled and turned away, greeting a man dressed as a sandwich. A sandwich, can you believe it?

  Will, er … Superman strode back to me, one arm outstretched and his fingers curled into a fist as though he was flying. I couldn’t help but giggle. “Party’s off to a great start, isn’t it? The costumes are fantastic,” he said.