by Alexa Davis
Garrett’s whole body became red as he scraped his chair back, determined to stalk out on me. “You don’t want to hear it because it doesn’t fit in with your perfect view of this family. You have always idolized Dad, and you don’t want to hear a bad word against him. Well, guess what?” he slammed his hands noisily down on the table to emphasize his point.
“Dad was a dickhead, Mom was weak, I’m broken, and you…well, you’re just an idiot. You’re so arrogant that you don’t want to hear any opinion that doesn’t suit yours. None of us are perfect, least of all you, and the sooner you accept that, the better.”
With that, he raced out the building, heading to the nearest bar I imagined, leaving me alone with the foundation of my whole world ripped out from underneath my feet.
Was he telling the truth? Did Dad really do all of those horrible things? I couldn’t fit that imagine in with the man I knew and loved, but then again, it did make a lot of sense when it came to my brother. If he found that letter just before he went off the rails, then that would explain his behavior. It would also help me to understand why he wouldn’t let any women close to him, why he only wanted to fool around with as many as possible. He was scared of getting hurt…or maybe he was scared of hurting someone else.
“Are you okay, sir?” the waitress asked, bringing me back into the present moment. “Would you like to take a look at the dessert menu?”
“Erm, just the bill, please,” I replied numbly, needing to get the hell out of this place as quickly as possible. “Thank you.”
While she went, I did my best to imagine Garrett’s version of events as the truth. It would have to have been very bad for Mom to give up her whole life like that. She killed herself, leaving her two children behind. She didn’t die unwillingly, hating leaving us behind…she chose to go.
I had no idea whether I felt awful for her, for having to sacrifice everything because my dad was a shit to her, or whether I was furious. Surely it was incredibly selfish of her to give up, and leave us in his hands…not that he did a terrible job.
Urgh, it is so confusing. It didn’t help that I knew nothing about depression or suicide, but still…to learn that everything I’d ever known about my life was wrong was hard to come to terms with. I wasn’t sure how I would do it.
The only thing I was certain of was that drinking wasn’t the answer. I didn’t even feel like finishing my beer, never mind drinking anymore, so there wasn’t any danger of me turning in to another Garrett…
Oh God, Garrett…
If he was out now, there wasn’t much chance of him coming into work tomorrow, which could easily be the first step in another downwards spiral. It was such a delicate balance with him as it was, and that was one hell of a blow up. It wasn’t really my fault; I couldn’t exactly go through the rest of my life without ever mentioning our parents, but I felt guilty all the same. Just when things had been going well, I managed to screw it up!
Idiot!
Once I paid the bill, I made the long, slow walk back home, my mind circling over and over with emotion, trying to find some answers in my brain. I couldn’t deny that there was a lot of evidence to support Garrett’s claims, but that didn’t mean it made any sense. How could I know someone my whole life, just to find out that I didn’t know him at all? My dad had always been there for me, he helped me with my problems, he loved me unconditionally…wouldn’t he have told me if it was his fault Mom died? Sure, he might have been ashamed for many years, but he could have said it just before he died.
Unless he didn’t want me to live on with a bad view of him?
When I eventually got back home, I didn’t want to do anything, so I wandered a little aimlessly into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed in a heap. I felt like I needed to cry, but I didn’t have any tears left in me. I half had the sense that I wanted to scream, but my vocal chords felt strangled. This was the worst thing that could have ever happened to me, and I honestly wasn’t sure how I was going to recover.
Then again, I didn’t have any choice. I had to go in to the office tomorrow, if only to pick up my brother’s slack. If there was no chance of him being there, which I was pretty sure there wasn’t, then someone had to do his work…and yet again that responsibility fell to me.
Always picking up his pieces.
Chapter Twenty
Annie – Friday
It felt a little weird to leave Rae behind because I hadn't spent a lot of time away from her since the day that she was born – particularly not in another city – but I knew she would be okay with Mom. I had to remember that she was Rae’s grandmother, and that she loved her just as much as I did. She would be looked after well, plus, I could call at any time I wanted. I could even video chat with them if I needed to.
Anyway, the three-hour drive to Portland was almost over, and what I really needed to do was get my head in the game. I had no idea what way this weekend was going to go, and I had to have a steely focus to just get through it. It was so confusing to even be around Justin in any capacity, so this could really go either way.
“Oh my God,” I muttered to myself, as I pulled up outside a very fancy building. I knew that it had to be Justin’s; after all, he was the richest man I knew apart from maybe Roy, but it was much fancier than I was expecting – all clear white with gold trimmings and massive, clean windows. I even glanced down at the piece of paper that I’d written the address down on, just to check that it was right.
I pulled the car mirror down to smooth my hair down quickly, hating the way the long drive made me look so shabby. How the hell am I supposed to strut in there without falling apart? I did not fit in with this world – that was obvious.
“Okay,” I whispered, trying to ignore the tremble in my voice. “Just do this.”
I didn’t want to. In fact, what I actually wanted to do was turn the car around and drive all the way back home, but I couldn’t. I’d made it this far…I couldn’t turn back now.
So with that in mind, I literally forced myself out of the car, and I made my legs walk towards that terrifying building, my heart hammering in my chest the entire time.
Luckily, just at the moment I was about to throw up because I was freaking out so much, Justin’s friendly face greeted me at the door, causing every inch of me to focus on him, instead.
When I was drinking in his cute smile, his gorgeous eyes, the way that he looked incredible in a vest and tie, I wasn’t worried about what everyone else would think of me. It might have been acutely obvious to everyone that I was far too small town to even be seen in a place like this, but with Justin on my mind, it suddenly didn’t seem like such a huge issue.
“Hey, how are you?” he asked warmly. “How was the drive?”
“Traffic wasn’t too bad,” I smiled brightly at him, enjoying that sense of familiarity that I could feel between us now. “How are things here? Your building is lovely.”
“Wait until you see inside!” he teased, before pulling me in for a hug. As my body pressed up against his, my emotions got all mixed up once more. He just felt so comfortable and sexy…
Nope, not sexy!
I pulled back sharply and looked up at him hoping that he could see the sorrow in my eyes. I didn’t want to push him away, but we had no choice.
“My financial advisor Harry can’t be here today, but he’s making a special trip down tomorrow.”
“Right, okay,” I nodded as if I understood. I half wanted to ask him why I didn’t just wait to come up then, but I zipped my mouth closed instead. “So what’s the plan for today?”
“Well, I can show you around the building, give you a better feel of the place, if you like.”
“Yeah, sounds good,” I replied, smiling to hide to the nerves. “That’s what I’m here for, after all.”
He led me inside, calling out random names as we walked through the sleek hallways. I tried to take in at least one of the names, but they were floating over my head.
All I could really concentrate on were the
dirty looks constantly being shot my way. At first, I couldn’t work out why everyone seemed to dislike me so much, it seemed to be so much more than the fact that I simply didn’t fit in…until I realized that it was actually jealousy. I started to get the sense that people could tell that something had gone on between me and Justin, and that they were actually jealous about it.
And in a weird way, that turned me on a little bit. Just knowing I had something they wanted helped me to overcome the sense that I didn’t fit in, and I couldn’t stop myself from encouraging it. As I got dirty looks, I moved in closer to him. As Justin spoke to me, I acted a little flirtier with him…I just couldn’t seem to stop myself.
Well, that was the case until I met the next person!
“Annie, this is my brother, Garrett.”
As I shook Garrett’s hand, I couldn’t stop myself from recalling all the negative stuff I knew about him. He was a troubled guy with a bit of a past, but he was trying to overcome it. I could see that he was trying hard, but I got the strong sense that he was struggling with it all much more than he was letting on. There was a definite pain there that he didn’t seem to know how to express.
“Hi, Garrett,” I smiled in a way that I hoped was friendly. “It’s nice to meet you.”
But all he did was raise his eyebrows and grunt back, not giving me anything in return.
“Come on,” Justin placed his hand on the small of my back. “Let’s go to my office.” He’d picked up on his brother’s unfriendly treatment of me, but of course, that wasn’t the sort of thing that could be dealt with in a professional office environment.
As soon as he clicked the door shut behind us, I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. I felt like I could relax around Justin, much more than the strangers sitting out there, so it felt good for us to be by ourselves.
“Urgh, sorry about all that craziness,” he sighed deeply. “As you can imagine, it’s a bit tense at the moment. Things between me and Garrett aren’t great at that moment, so…yeah, it isn’t fun.”
I nodded, not really sure what I could say at that moment. Family stuff was hard. I knew how complex it could be, and I didn’t really think that it was my place to get involved.
“Anyway, is Rae excited to be here? Is she with the babysitter now?”
“Oh, actually, she ended up staying behind at my mom’s house,” I replied excitedly. “She doesn’t really get enough time with her grandma, so she couldn’t wait for it…” I trailed off as I noticed a strange look of disappointment in his eyes. What is that about?
“Oh, I was looking forward to seeing her!” he exclaimed, totally taking me aback. Admittedly, a big part of my wariness when it came to dating was Rae and the fact that not only would she not get along with another man, but also the fact that no one would want me.
Not that this was dating, of course! I really needed to remember that fact.
“I got her a gift. Would you be able to give it to her?” As he reached under his desk and he pulled out a box, I felt my chest swell with a happy, loving sensation. Could this man be any more perfect? He brought my daughter a present, just for no reason!
“What…what is it?” I stammered in shock.
“Just some toys for her. Quiet ones, the sort that she could play with in the shop if she ever needs to be there with you again.”
“Wow, that’s so thoughtful,” I smiled, still unable to respond properly. This was all just so much! “Thank you.”
“And since you’re all by yourself tonight, I’m going to take you out to dinner,” he slid backwards in his seat and gave me that heart-stopping grin. “So, I’m going to pick you up from the hotel at seven.”
He wasn’t actually giving me a choice in the matter, which I found myself liking much more than I thought I would. “You know where the hotel is, right?” he asked. “Not far from here.”
“Oh, erm yeah…that sounds good. Thank you.”
“I actually also got you a gift,” he looked a little shyer as he said that. “I hope you don’t mind.”
Mind? What sort of girl would mind being spoiled? I wasn’t some sort of gold digger, but I couldn’t deny this made me feel very special.
“It’s an outfit that you could wear tonight if you wanted.” He handed me a large box, which I took in shock. This was way beyond and investor-investee relationship now, wasn’t it? I wasn’t the only one blurring the boundaries. “You don’t have to open it now. Check it out at the hotel, see if it’s something you might actually like.”
“Thank you,” I nodded slowly. “I appreciate it.”
***
“Holy mother of God,” I cried out as I admired my reflection in the mirror. I actually looked incredible! I’d never understood the reasoning behind spending thousands of dollars on a dress before, when you could get one for a few bucks, but now it all made sense. The fabric clung to me in an amazing way, falling past my hips and swishing perfectly. It made me look like a million dollars, and I hadn't even styled my hair or put on any make up yet.
Justin was pulling out all the stops for me, and it was making me even more confused. I already liked him far too much; gestures like this were only going to make that harder.
I then grabbed the shoes from the box with much more excitement in my heart. I had been afraid when I opened this parcel that I wouldn’t like Justin’s style, but now I could see that he had a damn good taste. They were jet black, which matched the dress exactly, with bright red bottoms to make me feel like a movie star. The whole look together was breathtaking.
I just hoped that Justin felt the same way.
If he was going to blatantly ignore the business relationship we were supposed to be having, then why did I have to stick to it? Yes, it was the smart thing to do, but it was the most boring, too.
For the first time in my life, I really wanted to be wild and throw caution to the wind, and here in this environment where I wasn’t anywhere near home, I was in a new city without my daughter, my shop, or responsibilities, I could actually feel myself doing it. It would be like a little crazy fantasy, a holiday romance to get all of my feelings for this man out of my system.
One time just wasn’t enough. It had been all too quick, to fueled by lust. If things were ever to happen between us again, I would savor it more, and worry much less.
But before I could even consider seriously acting crazy, I needed to call my mom and Rae to check they were all right, then I needed to get on with actually getting ready. I might have looked good in the dress without doing myself up, but I couldn’t go out in public looking that way. I needed to enhance the awesomeness of the dress, not let it down!
PART 3
Chapter Twenty-One
Justin – Friday
As I drove over to the boutique hotel where I’d put Annie up for the weekend, I found my mind wandering back to where it had been all week long: on Garrett’s increasingly erratic behavior.
As expected, he hadn't turned up to work the day following our massive argument. But much to my surprise, he was just there the next day, acting as if nothing had happened. It was so strange. He hadn't brought anything up again, so I’d taken his lead and done the same, but it was obvious that something wasn’t quite right.
The way he’d been with Annie was not good at all, and that made me mad. Much as his behavior had pissed me off over and over again, I wasn’t ever rude to any of his many “friends,” just in case. It was unlikely that he would marry one of the random chicks from his group sex sessions, but I couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t, and I didn’t ever see the point in starting things off on the wrong foot.
Then there was the whole mess with my family…the facts that I was trying my hardest not to even think about. It was a constant struggle not to fall apart, so all I could do for now was keep it firmly planted in the back of my mind.
It wasn’t until I actually parked my car in the parking lot that I stopped thinking about Garrett, and I started wondering what I was playing at with
Annie, instead.
After we overstepped the boundaries of a business relationship and we slept together, she’d made it perfectly clear that she thought it was a mistake…yet I couldn’t seem to help myself. When I spotted that dress in the store, I could just picture her in it and purchased it without even thinking.
This was all so complex. Not only was I about to possibly go into business with her, but my company wanted to virtually screw her over. Combining that with feelings just wasn’t great, but that didn’t seem to stop me.
“Oh God,” I muttered to myself, shaking my head. “No point in worrying about all of that now.”
I was going out with Annie, whether I liked it or not, there wasn’t any going back on that now. Plus, I didn’t even want to back out. I liked her too much for that, even if it wasn’t exactly appropriate. In fact, the closer I got to the hotel door, the more my excitement level grew.
And then when I finally saw her there, standing in the dress I had brought for her, looking like a supermodel straight from a catwalk, my heart leapt up into my chest. Annie was stunning, just as beautiful all dressed up as she was completely natural, and in my experience, that was so hard to find.
“Wow,” I gasped out, unable to contain my feelings inside. “You look incredible.”
“That’s all thanks to the dress,” she replied, far too modestly. “This dress is amazing. It could make anyone look incredible.” I didn’t fully agree with that statement; I felt like her good looks had more to do with her than the dress, but I didn’t want to be too forward, so I simply nodded. “You really do have good taste.”
“Why, thank you,” I teased. “Wait until you see where I have a table reserved for us.” At first, I’d considered going to one of my regulars, the Parisian restaurant across town. But as I thought about it through Annie’s eyes, I imagined her seeing it as the pretentious place it was, so I decided against it. I didn’t want her to think I was a pompous ass, even if that was a little bit the case. I wanted Annie to see deeper into me, to see that there was more to me than just that. “You like sushi, right?”
