Baby By The Billionaire - A Standalone Alpha Billionaire Secret Baby Romance (New York City Billionaires - Book #3)

by Alexa Davis

  My eyes drifted over to the picture hanging up over my mantelpiece, drinking it in. Luckily, when Ashlee came here on that night, she was too drunk to notice it because it might have freaked her out a lot, but it would never come down, no matter what.

  It was an image of me and Ashlee’s dad, when I was about fifteen, sitting on the fishing boat. He taught me to fish; he used to take me out on the water every single time I felt down, and that made it a happy memory for me. That day was particularly important to me because it was the first time he openly addressed my relationship with Ashlee. We’d been trying to keep things a secret up until that point, just between me and her. We were already friends, so it was easy for us to continue hanging out, but the romantic stuff we kept just between us.

  It seemed like we hadn’t done a very good job with it, though, because he definitely knew.

  He told me I was the only guy in the whole damn world that he would trust with his daughter, and he didn’t think anyone else would be able to care for her and handle her in the way that I could. I took that to heart; I felt touched that he would go out of his way to say that, and I promised him I would take care of her forever.

  I just wished I’d stuck to that promise. I should have taken that more seriously than anything else. When she was grieving, I should have just been there for her no matter what. I shouldn’t have gotten lost in my own feelings, and gone out to get drunk. If I hadn’t gone to that fucking party all those years ago, how different would things have been? Would we have been together all that time? Would we be married by now? Would we have kids of our own?

  Then again, was it a sign that something so small had torn us apart? Sure, we were young, but if we were meant to be, then we would have found a way around it? I would have gone to the funeral, anyway; Ashlee wouldn’t have run away.

  Maybe we kept falling apart because we couldn't make it work.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered at the picture, wishing I could talk to the real man behind the image. “I’m sorry that I failed you, I just... I don't know what to do.”

  I tried to picture his reply, tried to imagine what advice he would give me, but I was coming up with nothing, so I simply turned my back and walked over to the couch. My ass slipped slowly down, hitting the comfy cushions.

  I was accepting defeat by sitting down, admitting that I couldn't make things work with Ashlee, I was giving up on her completely, shutting the door on that story forever more. I could try once more if I went to the bar, but we could also end up getting hurt again.

  One of us needed to break the vicious cycle we were in, and if it had to me, then so be it. It didn’t feel good to do; in fact, it felt shitty, but I was learning. I couldn't have a repeat of what had happened with Terri, not with Ashlee. I couldn't hurt her like that.

  I had the money now. I’d made that decision, so now every choice I was going to make from then on was going to have to be smart. I needed to protect myself.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Ashlee

  Monday Night

  My heart pounded with excitement as we stepped into the bar. Sure, Matthew had seemed a little confused when I talked to him back at the office, but I got the impression that his head was elsewhere entirely. He was probably coming to terms with the fact that his life was completely changing. I hoped it was that anyway; I was trying not to take it personally, at any rate.

  The fact that Matthew had decided to hire a new nurse suggested he wasn't planning on selling and leaving the town behind any time soon, which of course meant I was going to be able to keep my job. It also meant I might just get another shot with him.

  For a brief flash, I wondered if he thought my turnaround was more to do with his money than anything else, but I quickly shook that thought from mind. Matthew knew me; he’d known me when we were kids, and he knew for a fact that I wasn't like that. My change of heart had been about discovering the truth when it came to him and Kerri, and I was sure he would know that.

  “You look really nice tonight,” Kerri grinned at me, flicking her eyes over my outfit. I was wearing a turquoise dress, black heels, and I had my hair hanging wavy and loose. I’d really tried, hoping Matthew could see that I was really trying, and I couldn't wait to finally have a decent chat with him.

  “Thank you,” I replied, blushing. “You look lovely, too.” Again, Kerri looked heart-stopping, but for the first time, I didn’t feel too intimidated by that. I felt kind of good about myself, and that was awesome. I had a confidence flowing through me that hadn’t ever been there before.

  “I think you guys both look beautiful,” a distinctly male voice spoke out behind us, causing us both to snap around in shock. Behind us, we saw a sheepish-looking Willy.

  My first thought as I smiled at him was how good-looking he was. Beneath all the gruffness, underneath all that awkwardness, he was a handsome guy. Kerri should have given him a real chance. Just because he wasn't her usual type, it didn’t make him a bad guy. He’d stuck around for over two years, for crying out loud. I didn’t know any other guy who would do that.

  The second thought was that if Willy was there, Matthew had to be, too. He’d actually come. But as I discretely looked behind him, I could see that his table had only one empty pint glass on it. My heart sunk a little, but I tried not to get too disheartened. Maybe he would come along later.

  “Would you girls like a drink?” Willy asked, indicating towards the bar. “You can come and sit with me, if you like.”

  I nodded, even though I didn’t want to, just in case Kerri and Willy started making out again. I wasn’t in the mood to be a third wheel, not that night of all nights. But at the same time, I didn’t want to stand in the way of my friend’s happiness. I had the real feeling that they were meant to be and that she was the last one to see that, so I would sacrifice my own feelings for her.

  As we sat down at the table, I couldn't stop myself from asking the one question that I really shouldn’t have. I knew that it was going to be a bad idea, and that it might make me look a little stalker-ish, but I couldn't seem to resist.

  “So...is Matthew coming tonight?” I stammered a little over my words, feeling my face heat up. “He just, he said that he might.”

  Willy shook his head, and I couldn't help but notice the look lingering there behind his eyes. He was worried about his friend, which meant that I should be, too. “No, he said that he couldn't come tonight because of work, but I really think that there might be more to it than that.”

  “What do you mean?” I leaned in closer, desperate to know more. “Has something happened?”

  “He’s just been a little...strange ever since he won the money. I think that all the news stories coming out about him have affected him badly, and he doesn’t know what to do with himself anymore.”

  I’d read some of the stories, of course, but they’d been too personal for me to go too far into detail about. I didn’t want to know about his very adventurous sex life; that made me extremely uncomfortable when I hadn’t been through anything like that in my own life. I also didn’t want to know the bitter stories about how Matthew had treated them afterwards.

  It was difficult to decipher the truth from the sensationalism anyway, but it was more than that. The man who I knew was nothing like the one written about, and I didn’t want my view tainted – especially when not all of it was the truth.

  I tried to put myself in Matthew’s position for a moment, wondering how I would react to having my private life splashed all over the papers, and it made me crawl inside. No wonder he didn’t want to come out, to be bombarded in public. I couldn't have imagined anything worse.

  “I’m just going to the bathroom,” I mumbled to Kerri and Willy, needing just a little time out. “Just give me a second.”

  I staggered out of the room, needing to suck in just a few deep breaths of air to calm myself down. I hated to think of Matthew going through all of that by himself. I knew firsthand what it was like to want to shut the rest of the world out,
and I wanted to help him. But of course I couldn't, not if he didn’t want to.

  Come on, Ashlee, I thought to myself, staring at my determined reflection in the mirror. Just get out there and have a good night out with your friend. There’s nothing you can do until Matthew wants help.

  It was an ironic role reversal. I shut Matthew out when my dad died, and he went out to party; now, I was out while he needed help. I could see how easy it was to want to shut problems out until the other person wanted to talk, which put the majority of the blame for our split on me.

  As I got back out into the bar, I noticed Kerri standing there alone. “Where’s Willy?” I asked her.

  “I sent him away; I think this needs to be a girls’ night,” she replied quite seriously. I could tell she wanted me to talk, and I found myself wanting to, just a little bit. I’d had something of a revelation in the bathroom, and I wanted to discuss it with my friend.

  But before I got the chance to speak, a couple of douchey-looking guys came along, putting their arms over our shoulders in unison, clearly pulling a move. I tried to shake one off, while rolling my eyes at Kerri, who also looked pissed off.

  “Can we buy you ladies a drink?” the guy who was standing closest to me said in a smarmy voice. “You look lonely over here.”

  “No, thank you,” I replied sharply, really not in the mood. I knew these types of guys; they were chancers, hitting on as many women as possible until someone finally agreed to go home with them. I had no intention of wasting any time on them, leading them on when it was never going to go anywhere. Not only was I not that kind of woman, I also didn’t need any more complications in my life.

  “In fact, Kerri, shall we go home? I’d much rather have a beer out on the porch.”

  Kerri giggled and slung her arm through mine before we stalked out of the bar together. The night might have been a bust, but if I had my best friend by my side, it really didn’t matter.

  “So,” Kerri started, as soon as we were sitting outside my home. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

  “Yeah,” I admitted with defeat. “I need to. I’m really seriously confused when it comes to Matthew. I don't even know what to do.”

  “Oh God,” she groaned in a joking manner. “It’s high school all over again.”

  “Well, to be honest, that’s a big part of it,” I told her honestly. “I instantly shut Matthew out, well, everyone out, as soon as I left town. That was because of our big fight. I was hurt by how he reacted after my dad died, I was upset because he went to that party when I needed him, and I didn’t give him a chance.”

  I sighed deeply, seeing all my mistakes through adult eyes. “Now I can see that he just didn’t know to cope. He was dealing with his own pain, and I didn’t acknowledge that.” I hung my head, guilt flowing through me. “Now he’s going through his own suffering for whatever reason, and I’m the one that’s shut out.”

  Kerri leaned forward and grabbed my hands. “Babe, I know that this sucks at the moment, but I really feel about the pair of you now the same way that I did back then. You’re meant to be together.”

  Her words flowed through me, striking a chord in my heart. That was the way that I’d always felt, too, however much I tried to ignore it. “Sometimes I want to bash your heads together to make you see it, but I know you will eventually.”

  “I hope so,” I mumbled, forcing out a weak smile. “And, I also hope that you see how great Willy is. I know you find him embarrassing, but I think he’s great.”

  “I know,” she admitted, looking sheepish. “I am starting to see that myself. I think I’ve been stupid, shutting him out because of my own, shallow stupidity. I guess in a way, because I’ve never left this town, I clung to a high school version of myself, too, making me no better than Harry.” She flushed bright red, and I could tell that it was hard for her to accept. “I just... I don't know how to get out of that loop now. How do I just say, ‘Sorry, Willy, I’ve been a dick. I want to be with you?’”

  “Erm...just like that,” I told her, laughing. “Honestly, I think Willy adores you. I think he would love you to say that. If I’ve learned anything from this, it’s that life is too short. And not only that, but silence gets you nowhere. I was silent for far too long, I ran away for ten years, and look where it got me.”

  “You’re right,” Kerri answered sadly. “I know you’re right; it just isn’t that easy.”

  Never had I heard a truer statement. Talking things through wasn't easy; it was a whole lot easier to just ignore it, but that also got you nowhere. I was living proof of that. As I said my goodbyes to Kerri, and I wandered up the stairs, I allowed all the times I’d been too quiet flow through my mind. With the past in mind, I grabbed hold of my high school yearbook once more, wanting to relive it through all those images.

  If I was going to make a change in my life, one as huge as actually saying what I was feeling for a change, then I wanted to spend one more moment in the past.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Matthew

  Tuesday

  I took a deep, shaky breath, finally doing the thing that I’d been avoiding for about a week.

  My phone had been going crazy and not many people knew that number, so I was certain that my email inbox was going to be full messages that I didn’t want to read. My email address was readily available online, so I knew that anyone could get it, including the people that I least wanted to speak to in the world. I had the horrible, sinking sensation that this was where I would find all the things I’d been fearing most, and to be honest, I wanted nothing more than to just avoid it.

  But unfortunately, I was going to have to tackle it eventually; it was how I ran a lot of my business. I couldn't just ignore it, not if I wanted to keep the practice running, which despite everything was one of my main priorities.

  I closed my eyes, my breaths coming out ragged, and I impatiently waited for the page to load, feeling my heart race like crazy. I felt panicky and a little sick, which wasn't like me at all.

  Since the incident with Ashlee and her dad’s funeral, I thought that I’d grown as a person and that I dealt with my issues better, but it seemed that I was wrong. Maybe it was just the stuff that I was deeply, emotionally invested in that affected me that deeply. I knew I needed to work on my coping skills, but today wasn't the day for that.

  When I finally flicked my eyes back open again, I found over two hundred messages awaiting me. Two hundred awful, unwelcome messages, screaming out for my attention.

  ‘Hi, Matthew, I don't know if you remember me, but...’

  ‘Maybe we should talk about what happened that night...’

  ‘Hi, Doctor Turner, this is Neil Hamm here from the Walford Gazette...’

  ‘I hate to reach out like this, but I’m in desperate need for money...’

  ‘Hey, Matt, remember me? How about another fun night? ;) xxx’

  Endless messages confirming my worst fears. People I hadn’t spoken to in years, wanting to hang out. Others begging for money, some wanting to sleep with me all over again, blackmail...endless blackmail.

  This was exactly what I hadn’t wanted; this was the exact reason I begged to claim the money without the publicity, but of course, they wouldn’t let me do it. They wanted their story, and they damn well got it, plus a whole lot more. I bet they thought that they’d struck gold when all those women came forward with dirt on me.

  I scrolled through them all, making the decision to delete anything that had nothing to with work, which was a long and arduous task, but one that was essential just for my sanity. I felt a little lighter as more and more of them disappeared, like I was finally taking control and doing something positive. That was, until I came across a name that struck a cold fear into my heart.

  Terri Holmes.

  “What the fuck?” I murmured. What the hell could Terri want now? Weren’t we totally done now? I really didn’t feel like we had anything left to say to one another, which made me very anxious. Why
the hell had she decided to email me? That felt so serious. Plus, the subject line was empty, which made me very uncomfortable. I couldn't resist opening it, just in case it was something that I needed to know.

  ‘Matthew,

  I’m honestly still reeling from the shitty way that you’ve treated me, and I don’t know what the fuck I saw in you in the first place. You’re an emotionally-stunted fuckwit with ridiculous commitment issues. On top of that, you don't even have anything going for you. A business that doesn’t make any money, looks that are fading every single day, and a selfish tendency which left me dissatisfied every single time. And I mean every time... I’ve become an expert in faking it.

  Despite all of that, I don't know how you didn’t realize that I was developing feelings for you. There’s no way I would have stuck around otherwise. What possible other reason could I have for staying by your side?

  Okay, sure, you have the money now, maybe that’s something, but I’ll be happy in the knowledge that you will never ever have an emotional connection with anyone ever again. People will only ever want you for that. Especially Ashlee. She wasn't interested before, but I can sure as hell bet that she’s showing interest now.

  Anyway, I would say rot in hell, but I think I describe my feelings very well in my news story, coming soon!

  Terri x’

  “Fuck,” I muttered to myself, shaking my head. There was so much truth to her words, so many fucking fears confirmed, and I didn’t know what the hell to do about it. I shut my computer down quickly, unable to deal with any more bad news. It was unbearable, utterly overwhelming, and it was driving me insane.

  I tried to get myself in the state of mind to go to work, but I quickly realized that it wasn't going to happen. I needed a time out, a mental health day, and I felt the intense desire to get out on the ocean. I’d become accustomed to using the sea air to help me clear my head since my younger days with Ashlee’s father, and I needed that once more.