by Alexa Davis
“Oh, ignore that!” Mary dismissed it quickly. “Everyone who has been to see you, loves you. None of them think that you’re just being given busy work. Don't let that get to you.”
Easier said than done, I thought to myself, gulping the emotion down, but I nodded anyway, not wanting to be seen as being negative. Not when I didn’t know how this thing was going to turn out just yet. Just get through this, I commanded myself. It might be fine. There’s no point in worrying over nothing – that’s exactly what Terri wants.
I couldn't let her win. I didn’t want her to defeat me, and that thought alone was enough to have me carrying on.
*****
After my little chat with Mary, I felt like I could be a little freer with my feelings.
If I’d learned anything from losing my dad and my mom getting sick, it was that life was far too short to be worrying about the opinions of others, anyway. Yes, there were questions fired at us from all directions, but I felt like we had an unspoken agreement as a team, and that it was us against the world. With that mentality, nothing felt impossible. In fact, it felt like the easiest thing in the whole world.
I was surprised to see how accepting people were being. There had been a little bit of negativity, but nothing like the wave I was expecting. It seemed like we had the support of others, which was unexpected, but incredible, too. It made the world feel like a brighter place.
It seemed like news had spread. I even received contact from the people in my old life to ask me about it. Somewhere along the line, it must have gone a little viral online because I’d received a text from Eileen (‘Oh my God, are you actually dating a billionaire?! How is that your life now! I thought that you would be missing us all... xxx’), and an email from my old boss Dan, just checking in to see if I was okay.
With the whole world knowing, it seemed pointless to try and hide things anymore. Especially if the bare bones of Terri’s story were true. Sure, I was angry at her for going about things in such a shitty fashion, but what she’d done was a favor for both of us. We could finally just be together, and that was amazing.
Matthew was flirty with me, and I was with him. It was great, transporting us back to the old days when everything was easy. Sure, the rest of the world around us was a complete and utter mess, but in our little bubble, everything was perfect.
That was exactly how I’d felt all the way through high school, and it was incredible to be back there once more...as if the last decade hadn’t even happened. I even felt much younger, much more like the carefree kid I’d once been. My troubles were still there, floating around in the back of my mind, but I could bypass them for now. Just for a short while.
Throughout the day, I found myself falling harder and harder for Matthew, even more so than before. I’d always known that I loved this man, that had never gone away for me, but confessing it aloud to Mary had shifted something within me, something powerful. I found myself able to look at Matthew more openly, to smile at him wider, to appreciate him even more deeply, and my heart swelled with that, almost to the point where I felt like it could burst free from my chest.
As I sat back for a second and watched him play with some of my younger patients, taking the time out of his day to spend some time with them, I got a clearer glimpse of the future we could have once more. He was so good with people, especially the kids, and I just knew that had to be a good sign.
After a while, he seemed to sense my eyes upon him, and he sent me a sweet smile, one that had my heart racing in my chest all over again. He was incredibly gorgeous, so much so that it made everything inside of me squirm. I loved him, so damn much, and I couldn't wait until the time was right for me to finally tell him.
“Lunch today?” he mouthed at me, to which I nodded happily.
He blew me a tiny kiss, so small that no one else could spot it, and that made everything inside of me intensify. Now we had our own language, too, a special way to communicate just the two of us. If that didn’t spell forever more, then I honestly didn’t know what did.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Matthew
Friday
The second I woke up to a whole bunch of emails linking me to Terri’s story – including one from her, being the classy person that she so clearly is – my heart sank. Not once did she mention that we were only a casual thing. She’d conducted her story in such a way that any retaliation I made would only serve to make me sound bitter and a little pathetic.
If there was one thing Terri was good at, it was using her brains in a very clever and manipulative way. If only I’d noticed that when we were seeing one another, I could have saved myself a whole load of hassle.
I expected to turn up to work to find protesters outside, people yelling abuse at me, and generally making my day a living hell, but what I found was something quite different.
Actually, it seemed like most people were acting totally normal around me. I did get the odd, nasty comment, but as I calmly explained my side of the story to them, they seemed to see that things weren’t as black and white as first assumed. Others even congratulated me on getting together with Ashlee, particularly those who knew our past. They were glad to see that we’d finally managed to make it back to one another.
There was a noticeable change in Ashlee, too. She seemed to be much happier around me, much more playful, much more like the old her. It seemed that the news getting out of us being an item was positive for her, and it was allowing her to be much freer with her feelings. As I asked her to go to lunch with me, and she happily agreed, and I felt on top of the world, like everything was finally coming together and that nothing could go wrong.
“Hi there, Miss May,” I smiled at my next patient, a younger, beautiful woman who I knew well, considering she worked at the bakery. She’d always made her interest in me obvious, but she’d always been too young and sweet for me...even in my darkest days. “How can I help you today?”
“Well, Doctor Turner,” she purred, leaning in closer to me. “I’ve had this terrible cough for a few days now. I think it might be a...chesty one.”
Okay, so this was obviously some attention-seeking lie, but I couldn't simply accuse her of that. I was going to have to check her out, regardless of what I thought about her ailment. “Right, let me just grab my stethoscope.”
I was already bumbling, heating up, and I hadn’t even started yet. What the hell was wrong with me? Not being big headed, but I was used to people flirting with me, why could I suddenly not cope? Was it because I felt sure that there was an ulterior motive, that the money had made me paranoid, or was it because of Ashlee? I just didn’t want any more attention.
As I went on to examine her back and chest for signs of any infection, she continued to talk to me in a breathy voice, one that was designed to turn me on. “You know, I would still like to take you out for a drink sometime,” she said, sticking her breasts out further. “I think it would be nice for us to hang out in a less...professional environment, don't you?”
Of course, the reason that she was there was finally revealed. I took in a deep breath before continuing. “I don't know what you’ve read about me, or what your opinion of me is, but I’m not that person.” At least, not anymore, I thought, but I decided against saying that aloud. I didn’t want to make this awkward situation any worse than it already was.
“I’m happy now, I have someone, and this one is the one for me. I think that you’re a great girl, and that you’ll make someone very happy one day, but I can’t turn my back on true love.”
For a second, I expected a total freak out, but what I got was a look of admiration instead. “Wow, I didn’t know that the speech therapist meant that much to you,” she gasped out in surprise, proving to me that she’d read Terri’s story. “I’m sorry...and thank you.”
As she scurried from my room, a little more embarrassed than I would have liked her to be, I followed behind to call in my favorite patient, Mr. Smith, but I quickly ran into Ashlee, who was standing on the oth
er side of the door. From the expression on her face it was obvious that she’d overheard my conversation, and she was extremely happy with what she’d heard.
Instead of making it big deal about it, she simply sent me a happy wink and returned to her own room, leaving me standing alone with chills of joy racing up and down my spine.
“Who is that?” Mr. Smith joined my side, clearly having already been called in by the receptionist. “I haven’t seen her around here before.”
“That’s Ashlee,” I chuckled with him. “She’s the new speech therapist. Haven’t you heard?”
“Oh, you know me, I prefer to keep out of the town gossip,” he waved his hand dismissively at me. “But I think I might have just developed a stutter. Can you get me an appointment? I think the only thing that will help me is some one on one time with her.”
Mr. Smith really had the kind of demeanor that would allow him to get away with anything. He might have been making inappropriate comments, but from the way he held himself, and the kindness about him, it didn’t matter. I knew that even Ashlee wouldn’t mind being ogled by him.
“Come on,” I guided him into my office. “Let’s get you sorted.”
We quickly ran through his problems, being experts at the process now, and I sorted out his prescription. As I signed things off, he totally stunned me by talking about the lottery in a very different way to everyone else.
“Are you playing the lottery again this week? It seems like you were wrong about my numbers; they still haven’t come up yet.”
I glanced up at him in shock, noticing the genuine tone to his voice. Did he not know? Was he serious that he didn’t listen to town gossip? How the hell could he have missed this one? But there was a blankness to his expression, one that told me he didn’t know, which made the next words out of my mouth even more of a joy to say.
“Are you sure about that?” I asked him innocently. “Only, I heard that your numbers did come up, and that there is already ten million dollars in your account.”
This guy was one of the good ones, and he deserved a good holiday to cheer himself up after all the ailments he’d been through in his life. I wanted to help him out, and this felt like a great way to do so...a great amount of cash to live the high life, whilst also leaving some for his son who moved to Ireland years ago when he got married. I needed to do something for this man, who had become such a good friend to me, and I couldn't think of any better way to do that.
“What... What do you mean?” he asked me, looking incredibly confused. “What are you saying?”
I laughed loudly, giving up the facade. “In case you’ve been living under a rock, and you really don't know, it was me that won. I want to help the people in my life out in the right way, and I know for a fact that you deserve this.”
“No, I couldn't possibly accept this.” He had gone white from shock, which made me feel even better.
“You have to take it; it’s already done. I want you to take yourself away, maybe go and visit your son, do whatever you want – just keep it a little hush hush. I want to help people in the right way; I don't want everyone begging me because it’ll leave me a mess.”
“Oh, of course,” he agreed quickly. “I don't even know how to-”
“I don't want you to thank me,” I interrupted quickly. “I just want you to go out and have a good time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lunch date with a very pretty speech therapist.”
“Ooh, you do, do you?” He was instantly distracted by that news, just as I knew he would be. “Wow, well now I understand this more giving attitude. If I had an amazing woman like that on my arms, I would be feeling a little generous, too.”
I pulled him in for a hug, saying a small goodbye because I knew that he would be gone for a while. “I don't expect to see you for a long time,” I told him seriously. “I want you to go and have some fun. Just send me a postcard, okay?”
As he thanked me all over again and left the clinic, I felt a surge of happiness flow through me. This felt more like me, the good guy who went out of his way to help others. Sure, I’d lost myself a little along the way, but I wouldn’t again. As long as I had Ashlee, there wouldn’t be any holes that needed filling again.
I leant against the doorway to her office, and watched her for a second, just drinking every bit of her in. Everything about her was gorgeous: that wavy hair, her incredible curves, the happy way that she carried herself. I honestly still couldn't believe that I’d ever been stupid enough to let her go. I knew with clarity that I should have fought harder, and been better, but at the same time, maybe this was the way things were supposed to be. Maybe we didn’t have it in us then to go the distance, but we certainly did now. I was certain of it.
“Are you ready?” I eventually called out with a smile in my tone. “I’m starving. I think it’s time to eat.”
She spun around to face me, causing my heart to skip a beat all over again. I wasn't sure how she still managed to have that effect on me after all the years that had passed, but if it hadn’t gone yet, I didn’t think it ever would. I felt like I would be ninety, still craving her for every minute of every day. “I’m ready, but I hope you’re taking me out today. I could use a break from all this craziness. My patients are piling up now, and the immense amount of paperwork that’s needed is driving me mad.”
That was a problem that I understood all too well. “Let’s go to the cafe,” I grinned at her. “I think that I can buy a sandwich for you, just for being such a good employee.”
She slid her hand into mine as we walked out, allowing our fingers to intertwine, and that action made me the happiest I could ever be. I felt like we were more solid now, more committed, and that was a place I hadn’t thought that we could ever be.
Despite everything, I’d managed to rebuild that trust between us, and that had caused her to open up all over again. It was almost as if the past decade was nothing, and that we were back in school once more, only with the wisdom that can only come from growing up.
This was more than I could have ever hoped for, and I never wanted to let it go.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Ashlee
Saturday
“Yeah, she’s just had another baby!” Kerri told me in a gossipy tone of voice. “I can’t believe it! Do you remember what she used to be like in school? All ‘I’m going to be famous, just you wait and see.’ Looks like that plan didn’t quite pan out!”
“Do you mean the head cheerleader?” I eventually had to ask, trying to figure out where the hell this conversation was going. I was walking down the supermarket aisles with my friend, there in body, but honestly my mind was all over the place. Things weren’t great with Mom at the moment, and it was difficult to focus.
“Yep, five kids by three different guys; not quite living the dream.”
In all honesty, I knew that Marissa was a massive bitch in high school, but I felt bad for her. We didn’t know her story, so who were we to judge? Of course, Kerri would have a different opinion because they fought a lot in school, but that didn’t change my feelings at all.
Before I could respond in any way, my phone blasted away in bag, and I felt relieved. I didn’t know how to have that conversation, so I felt like I’d been saved by the bell... that was until I realized that it was a number that I didn’t recognize. That always filled me with a pit of dread.
“Hello?” I said anxiously, a nausea swirling around in my stomach.
“I need to speak to Miss Baker,” the grave voice said on the other end, only serving to turn my nerves up even more.
“This is she.” Kerri shot me a curious look, but I simply turned away from her. I wasn't sure what I was about to hear, but I didn’t feel ready to look at her when I got what I sure would be bad news. “Can I help you?”
“I am calling about your mother; she’s been admitted to the hospital.”
I didn’t hear any more because my phone dropped to the ground with a loud clatter. My heart stopped dead in my chest,
and my limbs froze to the spot. I’d been expecting this news for a very long time, but to hear it, to have it said to me, was devastating. I didn’t even know what to do.
“Ashlee? Ashlee?” I suddenly realized that my friend was trying to speak to me, she was just taking longer than expected to work her way through my shock barrier. I glanced at her, fear in my eyes, and that told her all that she needed to know. “Oh my God, are you... Can I...?”
“I have to go,” I gasped, tearing from the supermarket, leaving everything behind. As soon as I got outside, I jumped into the nearest cab, which whizzed me along to the hospital. The entire time my mind jumped all over the place, thinking about anything and everything except for what was about to come.
I thought about Matthew taking flowers to Dad’s grave, I thought about my life back in New York and the reasons for me never getting a decent date there, I thought about my financial freedom now that my student loans were paid off.
I scurried around in my bag and pockets for a second, wanting to find my phone, to call Matthew, but I quickly realized that it was on the floor of the supermarket with my friend. Maybe she would think to pick it up and call him; she knew how close we were these days, but I couldn't be sure. After all, I tore out of there in such a panic without even mentioning where I was going.
Maybe I would have to face this alone.
I threw money at the cab driver as the car pulled up and tore through the doors. “Peggy Baker,” I gasped at the receptionist, feeling out of breath without even running too far. “My mom, she’s been admitted here and I need to find her.”
“Erm, hold on...” the receptionist replied in a voice that was far too slow for my liking. “Let me find out what room she’s in.”
I tapped my foot impatiently, my mind finally thinking about all the things that I didn’t want to accept. I started to see my mom in all kinds of awful situations, and it was making me feel sick. I didn’t like seeing her even ill, so I wasn't exactly looking forward to seeing her with tubes coming out of everywhere.
