Baby By The Billionaire - A Standalone Alpha Billionaire Secret Baby Romance (New York City Billionaires - Book #3)

by Alexa Davis

  “I have the necklace,” he confirmed, handing it to me. As the chain touched my hand, I felt the warmth from my mother’s love rush right through me. This connected me to her in a way that I hadn’t experienced since she found out that she was sick. It zapped me back into the past, reminding me of the upbeat, joyous person that she’d always been.

  I was with her again, her holding me in my arms as I wept over some silly trouble that I was having at school. One of the girls decided that she didn’t like me, and she’d been mocking me all day long. It was petty, and very ridiculous, but at the time it felt like the end of the world. I sobbed into my mom’s chest as she held me close to her.

  “Don't you worry about her,” she whispered to me, stroking my cheek. “She’ll be on to her next victim tomorrow. You’ll just be forgotten about.”

  “But why does she have to be so mean?” I wailed. I didn’t want to be forgotten about, just for her to move onto someone else. I just wanted her to stop. “Why can’t everyone just be nice?”

  Mom sighed deeply, trying to consider this before answering. “You can’t always control things,” she told me seriously. “You can’t control how other people will behave, because that isn’t how life works. But you can control your own behavior, and you can monitor the way that you make people feel. You can also control the way that you react to people.”

  She pulled back to look me in the eyes as she gave me one of my life’s most important lessons to date. “People like this girl will have things that are bothering them, issues outside of what you can see, which make them behave the way that they do. Maybe she needs attention, and by getting upset, you’re feeding into that. Maybe you should give her attention in a different way.”

  After that, she put on some of my favorite songs, and she got me up laughing and dancing, and having fun. I never became friends with that girl, which I felt like my mom wanted from me, but we did come to a silent understanding where we simply avoided one another. I never did find out what was bothering that girl, what made her act the way she did, but it was obviously something.

  “But I also have something else,” Matthew interrupted my thoughts by handing me an envelope. “It was in the jewelry box, too.”

  I ran my fingers along the letters written on the envelope, my name written in my mother’s handwriting. In that moment, it was obvious that she knew she was going to die and soon, or she never would have taken the time to do this. I wished that she’d told me, wished that I’d known; maybe I would have been able to do things a whole lot differently if that were the case.

  “What is this?” I asked pointlessly. “What does it say?” I already knew that he didn’t know because the letter hadn’t been opened, but I needed to say something to stall just a little bit. This was going to be a life changing letter, I was sure of it, and I didn’t know if I was ready for that just yet.

  “I’m going to wait outside.” Matthew seemed to sense that I needed space, and he was more than willing to give that to me, proving what an amazing person he was. “Call me back in whenever you need me, okay?”

  I nodded stiffly, watching him walk off, then I went and sat in the front pew. Before tearing open the letter, I sucked in a few deep breaths of air, trying to calm my emotional body down. I was doing a great job of holding it all together, and I didn’t want to let that go.

  ‘Dear Ashlee,

  I’m so sorry that I’ve left you in this way. I’m sure that you know I never would have wanted this, but I’ve known for a while now that my time was coming, and accepted that. I’m ready now, happy to see your dad once more because I’ve missed him like crazy. I mean, I hate that I have to leave you to be with him, but you know how much I’ve yearned for him since he died.

  I want to let you know how proud I am of you, and how proud your dad was, too. Despite all the hardship that you’ve been through in your life, you’ve managed to turn that into a positive. You’ve worked hard to become an amazing career woman, one with focus and drive, but I want to remind you that there is more to life. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy and well rounded, and while I see that you’re doing your best, I think that there are some areas in which you’ve been holding back.

  Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m talking about Matthew.

  I know that you might not want to hear this, but I really think that you should give him a chance. You know for a fact that I wouldn’t say this if I didn’t think that he was right for you. I believe that he can make you happy, and that you’re only truly fulfilled when you’re with him. If I’m wrong, feel free to totally ignore this and carry on regardless, as I know you will. I just wanted you to hear what I think.

  Whatever you decide in life, I know for a fact that you will make someone an amazing wife and mother. You’re kind, sweet, and very caring...which you’ve proven by dropping everything to come and help me. You have a lot to offer the world, and I’ve been incredibly lucky to have you as a child.

  Ever since the day that you were born, I’ve been thankful to God for you, and that hasn’t changed one bit; even during the time when we saw each other less, I was grateful to have you in the world with me.

  I guess, since life for me and your dad has been so short, I only have one piece of advice for you: live life to the fullest, and focus on your own happiness. You only have a limited time on this planet, so stop worrying so much, stop stressing over the little things, and just do the things that make you smile. Laugh every day, smile often, and take time out...especially when you’re feeling stressed.

  I love you so much, and I will be alongside your father watching over you every day.

  Lot of love,

  Mom xx’

  With that, I was a mess. The tears were streaming, my heart was pounding, and my emotions were all over the place. This was too much; it was wrenching at my heart. It seemed like the last thing that Mom wanted for me was to end up with Matthew, and that was intense. Much as it was what I wanted to, it felt a little overwhelming, to say the least.

  Another memory flooded my mind just for a second, and it was of my mom giving me almost the exact same advice when I was younger, a few days after the argument that ruined everything.

  “I know things seem difficult now,” she had told me, speaking to me about my problems when she’d just lost the love of her life. Unfortunately, my head was not in the right place to hear it at the time. I was stubborn and pig headed, sticking to my guns. “But trust me, you will regret it if you continue to punish him for this.”

  I felt like she didn’t understand what she was going on about at the time, but now I could see that she understood me much better than I gave her credit for. “No, Mom, Matthew is a douchebag. I will never talk to him again; he deserves everything that he gets. He deserted me, he ran off to be with the idiotic, popular crowd, and now he’s blown it.”

  She had closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead lightly, clearly growing exasperated with me. “Look, Ashlee, all I’m telling you is don't make a rash decision that you’ll go on to regret. You’re hurting now, grieving over the loss of your father, and soon you’re going to need Matthew. Trust me, I know that it feels like you’re alone in this right now...that’s how I feel, too, but you’ll soon see that his one mistake doesn’t cancel all the good...”

  “No, Mom,” I had snapped at her, allowing my temper to flow. “I’m going to New York anyway, so we’ll never see one another again.” Considering everything, that probably wasn't the best way to tell my mom that she was losing me, too, but I was young and selfish. Luckily for me, she was an expert at holding it together.

  “Matthew has spent the last few years making you fulfilled and happy; don't throw that away.”

  But of course I didn’t listen because I felt like I knew better. How could she understand my personal situation? She was being sappy because she’d lost her love. I had to get out of town; I needed to get the hell away before I was swallowed whole by Florence.

  But she was right then, and I was sure that she w
as right again.

  I stood up and walked outside, wanting to see Matthew once more. As soon as I spotted him, leaning up against the wall, a wash of feelings overcame me, and I finally decided to just let things loose. What was the point of holding back when life was so short?

  “I love you,” I gasped, staring deep into his eyes.

  He crumbled in that moment, before pulling me in for a deep hug. As I rested against his chest, listening to his heart pound, I felt good. I felt whole. “I love you, too,” he told me, gripping onto me for dear life. “I always have, and I always will.”

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Matthew

  Tuesday

  My heart beat hard as fast as I waited outside Ashlee’s home for her to be ready to ready for the funeral. I wasn't looking forward to today, not one bit, but I was proud of myself to be at the forefront this time, supporting Ashlee, rather than hiding pathetically behind a tree, wishing that I wasn't. This was my time to prove that I was a changed man now, that I was so much better than the teen I once was.

  I glanced up as Ashlee stepped outside, drinking in her pale, serious expression and her beautiful, black dress. I knew exactly how anxious she was about all of this, and that killed me. This was awful, the worst day of her entire life, and that pained me, but this wasn't about me. This was about me being there for her, in the right way this time.

  “Are you okay?” I asked her, pulling her towards me for a hug. I could feel her nodding against me, but the fact that she didn’t answer me aloud spoke volumes. She was doing her best to hold it together, and she could fall apart at any moment.

  “Do you want to come with me, or would you prefer to travel with your family?” We’d made plans for her to come with me, but I knew that she could have changed her mind at any moment. Whatever she wanted was fine with me.

  “I want to come with you,” she rasped, snapping me into action. I quietly guided her into the car before driving her along the roads.

  “It’ll be okay, you know?” I glanced over to where she was sitting, muttering furiously to herself as I drove. “You have organized everything perfectly. I’ve spoken to the pastor myself; it’s all set up exactly as you wanted, and you haven’t missed anything.”

  “I just want it to be perfect,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes. “I mean, I’ve written a speech, but I honestly don't know if I’m going to...to be able to...” with that, the sobs began to consume her, and her head fell into her hands.

  I rubbed my hand up and down her leg in a comforting gesture. “I’m here for you,” I told her seriously. “I am here to do whatever you need.” I just wanted her to know that she wasn't alone, that this time she had many people to rely on. “You just let me know whatever you need.”

  As we pulled up outside the church, I could see her family already standing around outside in various states of sadness. At first, Ashlee’s breathing became a little short and labored, and I feared that she was about to end up in the middle of a panic attack, but then she somehow managed to pull herself together at the last moment, and she staggered outside.

  The warm air hit me hard, taking my breath away for a few moments, sending my head into a tailspin, but I quickly shook it and refocused my attention on Ashlee. I might have been on the verge of falling apart, but I wouldn’t. I refused.

  While various members of Ashlee’s family and people in the community, came to give her their condolences, I stood by her side, holding her hand whenever she needed me to. With that purpose, with that one mission at the forefront of my mind, I could keep myself standing upright. There was one point where she raced off to the bathroom with Kerri, leaving me at a bit of a loose end, but the pastor recognized me and came to speak to me about some things.

  “How are the family?” he said to me in a hushed tone of voice. Living in a small place where everyone knew one another well, it didn’t surprise me that he was showing some concern. “Everyone seems to be holding it together well.”

  “They are,” I nodded, gulping down the big ball of fear that was lodged in my throat. I hoped that I was correct with this one; I couldn't be sure how anyone was feeling. “I think things will be fine.”

  “I would also like to say thank you for the large check that you gave to the church in memoriam of Peggy; that was a very sweet gesture and it’ll go to good use.”

  I smiled at him, while secretly glancing to both sides. I didn’t want this information to become public knowledge. I didn’t do it for that. I’d had enough publicity to last me a damn lifetime. Good or bad, I didn’t want anymore. “You’re welcome,” I replied quietly. “But I would much rather it be between me and you.”

  “You did that?” I closed my eyes as my heart fluttered wildly. I didn’t mean for anyone to hear, least of all Ashlee, but it seemed as if she’d been standing behind me the entire time. “I can’t believe it.”

  “He did,” the pastor confirmed, leaning past me as if I wasn't even there. “And it was a significant amount, too. We all know how much your mom would have liked that, considering what an amazing presence in the church she was. We all miss her very much.”

  My face flushed brightly as they discussed Peggy for a while, talking about what a lovely woman she was. I had no idea what Ashlee was going to think about me doing that; that was why I had done it secretly. She could quite easily be pissed off at me from stepping on her toes, but I just wanted to use my lottery winnings for good.

  All I wanted to do with the money was to make people happy, and that felt like the perfect way to do it. I knew that the church would put that money to good use too. They would help the people that needed it the most.

  As the pastor walked off, Ashlee turned to examine me closely with shining eyes and an expression that I couldn't quite read. I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot as I waited for her to say what she needed to say. “Did you really give the church a check?” I nodded shyly at that. “I cannot believe you. I’m so proud of you for using your money for good. Most people wouldn’t.”

  Relief flooded through me as it became clear that she wasn't mad. “I’m going to assume that you paid off my student loans, too?” She said this with a cheeky grin playing on her lips, proving that she’d already worked that much out. It was obvious, after all!

  “I did,” I admitted, grinning at her, remembering how proud of myself I felt when I did that. “But it’s no big deal. You come first in my life; you should know that by now. I would do anything for you.”

  “Even when you weren’t sure whether we would end up together?” Of course, there had been doubt in my mind at that moment. How could there not have been? But I’d had faith, and luckily for me, that faith had paid off.

  “Of course, Ashlee,” I held her hands in mine, giving her a very serious look. “Whether you’re mine or not, I’ll always be ready to take care of you.”

  With that, she stood up onto her tiptoes and she pressed a sweet kiss on my lips, allowing me to wrap my arms tightly around her. This was where I was meant to be, holding the woman I loved, giving her all the support she needed.

  “Come on,” I eventually whispered to her, pulling her into the church. “We better go inside.”

  As we took our seats at the front of the church, the service began taking place, and I had to admit I was incredibly proud of Ashlee for organizing such an amazing tribute to her mother while she was grieving. It was such a short process between losing someone and having to sort out their funeral, but she’d managed to deal with that well. I wrapped my arm around her, and I held her close as she finally lost it and fell apart.

  And then it came the time where the pastor asked if anyone from the family would like to speak. I could see that Ashlee was in a terrible state, and I could already tell that she was going to regret it if no one said anything, so I glanced around trying to see if there was anyone else that could take her place. Peggy had a lot of family there, but it didn’t take me long to realize that everyone was too distraught. That caused me to sigh deeply,
and nod to myself.

  If I was ever going to prove to myself that I’d become a better person, this was it. I could now make up for missing Ashlee’s dad’s funeral, while making this ceremony the best it could possibly be, too. I might have been nervous as hell, and had nothing prepared to say, but I would do it. I had to.

  “I will,” I said quietly, raising my hand. I stepped up onto the pulpit, next to the pastor, my heart beating furiously in my chest. I glanced down to Ashlee, who was looking up at me expectantly through her tears, which encouraged me to speak. “Erm...first off, I would like to thank everyone for coming today. I know that Peggy would have loved to see you all here, celebrating her life.”

  Shit, I could already feel the tears starting to come. How the hell was I going to get through this if I was crying already? Stay strong; remain calm for Ashlee’s sake.

  “Peggy was a strong and passionate woman,” I continued in a choked-up voice. “And she loved each one of you. We all have a memory of her making us laugh, consoling us through our tears, and just generally brightening up our day.”

  I could see people starting to nod, which meant that I had to be doing a good job. “I might not be a part of the Baker family officially, but Peggy and her late husband Mike were like second parents to me.”

  I tried to grasp my breath as the memories of my youth spun through my mind. “I grew up very close to their lovely daughter Ashlee, and they took me in as one of their own without even questioning it. Then, as we grew older, and my feelings towards Ashlee grew from friendship to love, they supported that, too, going above and beyond.”

  My voice was cracking; I was beginning to lose it. I needed to wrap things up before I totally lost my mind. “There will never be another Peggy Baker on this planet; no one will ever be as kind, as big hearted, as loving, but as long as we learn from her life, and we celebrate her in the right way, practicing her lessons, then she will never be forgotten.”