CARSON_Satan’s Ravens MC

by Kathryn Thomas

  “Hey, you.” He smiles sexily at her, like he can’t wait to get her back into bed despite the fact that they’d only been apart for a few hours. “I didn’t know you were coming by.”

  Melissa shrugs, but doesn’t meet his eyes. “I just wanted to see you.”

  His eyes narrow for a millisecond, as if he’s sensed that there’s more to what she’s saying than that, but he glosses over it. “Well, I can’t argue with that.”

  “Hey, man, can you give me a hand here?” A voice she recognizes makes Melissa’s head snap up.

  Hawk rolls his eyes. “New guy,” he says by way of explanation in a low voice to Melissa. “Sure thing, I’ll be right there. You sticking around?” His attention is again back on Melissa with laser-like focus.

  Melissa shakes her head, still trying to place the voice she’s just heard. “I can’t. I have some stuff to do.”

  “All right, I’ll come by yours later?”

  Melissa doesn’t respond, her eyes widening as she looks over Hawk’s shoulder and sees the new guy. It was Wes; Wes, her douchebag ex. He barely looks at her, as if he doesn’t know her and she does a double take to make sure she’s not imagining him. But he’s definitely there. What the hell is he doing in the body shop?

  “’Mel?” Hawk moves her chin up so that she’s looking at him. “Everything all right?”

  Melissa swallows, fighting the temptation to say that no, everything is not all right, that, in fact, everything is pretty screwed up. She summons the best smile she can manage. “Sure, I guess I’m just a little tired. I’m not getting as much sleep as I’m used to.” She bats her eyelashes at him, her tone heavy with innuendo, trying to divert attention from her weird behavior.

  Hawk gives her a curious look, like he knows there’s something she isn’t telling him. Right now, Melissa wishes he didn’t know her so well. He looks like he’s about to say something else when Wes calls him over again. Hawk sighs in frustration.

  “Go ahead. It sounds like he needs a hand.” She smiles at him in understanding and drops a soft kiss on his lips before she heads out of the shop, feeling more confused by the minute.

  ***

  The rink opening had been as straightforward as Melissa had expected. But at least it was a welcome distraction from the complications of her day. She paces around the house, wishing Ali was there for her to talk to, but she was working crazy hours at the law office she was interning at. This past week she’d pretty much been sleeping there.

  Melissa keeps on trying to frame her explanation to Hawk, a way to come clean with him that won’t change anything between them. By the time her doorbell rings, she’s realized there’s no such thing. Hawk smiles at her, as she opens the door, making his face even more devastatingly handsome. Melissa feels her stomach do a little somersault, the way it always does when she sees him.

  “How’s she running?” It takes Melissa a moment to realize that he’s talking about her Mustang that he’d been working on.

  “Like a dream.” It was true; whatever Hawk had done to the car, it was like new.

  “We’ll get started on the body work in the next couple weeks. We need to order in some parts.” Hawk had taken the car on as a project; he was making it his mission to convert it from a junker into a thing of beauty once again.

  “You know you don’t have to do all this. You have a lot on your plate, with work and the Kings.” Hawk had confided in her that he was saving up to buy into The Shop. It wasn’t something he’d talked to Josh about yet; he was waiting for the right moment, but Melissa couldn’t see any reason why Josh would say no. Hawk was like a son to him and he was also the best mechanic in the place. It made sense.

  “I know I don’t have to. I want to. For you.” He leans down and kisses her thoroughly, his hands around her waist. She lifts herself up onto her tiptoes, her arms around his neck, holding on for the ride. He pulls her into his arms and she lays her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, breathing in the scent of his leather jacket, the familiar, comforting smell of him and she sighs deeply, feeling more relaxed than she has the entire day. “Now are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?” He says the words softly against her hair and she stiffens in his arms, pulling away from him.

  “You hungry? I can throw something together.” Melissa tries to make her way to the kitchen, but Hawk takes hold of her hand, turning her back around to face him.

  “’Mel.” The question in his voice is clear.

  She sighs heavily, knowing the time has come for her to come clean. But when she looks up at him, she just can’t bear to do it. “Nothing. I’ve just been thinking that I haven’t seen my mom in a while. She’s been dating this new guy and she really likes him. She wants me to meet him.” Melissa waves vaguely. “I guess I just feel like I haven’t been a very good daughter recently.” Her explanation isn’t a lie, but it’s not the worry that’s been keeping her up at night.

  Hawk’s face relaxes and he breathes out in relief. “For a second I thought you were going to say there was another guy.”

  Melissa looks up at him in shock. “Why would you think that?”

  Hawk shrugs, pulling her close to him, like he’s making sure he hasn’t lost her. “Because you’re amazing, beautiful, the whole package. I see the way guys look at you. It makes me want to punch their lights out.”

  Melissa’s heart warms at his words. “Funny, that’s how I think about you when I see all the girls drooling as you walk by.” She looks up at him and sees the way his dark eyes sparkle like black diamonds and her breath catches in her throat.

  “So that’s what you’re worried about, your mom?” Melissa nods, her gaze skittering to a point behind his head. “Well, why don’t we go see her this weekend?”

  Melissa blinks up at him. “We?”

  “Yeah, we as in you and me.” He rolls his eyes at her as if she’s being dense.

  “You’d do that?” She feels her heart swell in her chest.

  “Sure. I want to meet her; her daughter is pretty important to me.” He says the words in a low voice, his eyes searching for some sign of assent on her face.

  Melissa holds her breath, blinking back tears at his words. “So does that mean I get to meet your mom, too?”

  Hawk’s expression hardens at her words and she instantly misses the softness that had been there just moments before. “Like I said, things between my mom and me are complicated. There’s a lot of stuff that we’ve never really resolved. She hasn’t exactly ever been a candidate for mother of the year.”

  Melissa tightens her grip on his shoulders, making him look at her. “She made you, so she must have done something right. Whenever you’re ready, I want to meet her.”

  Hawk looks at her in surprise, as if he had never expected her to say that. “You know, you surprise me all the time. I love the way you see the good in everyone. Sometimes I wish I could be more like that.”

  Melissa shrugs. “Maybe if I’d seen the things that you have, I wouldn’t be so Pollyanna about everything!”

  “Pollyanna?” Hawk gives her an amused look.

  Melissa waves away the question. “Nothing, just something someone told me recently. So, you didn’t answer my question. You hungry?”

  The look that Hawk gives her tells her that whatever he’s hungry for it’s not food. “Come here.” He tugs her towards him and dips his head down to kiss her. It’s a demanding kiss, one that tells her exactly what he wants. And if she was under any confusion over what exactly that was he nudges her legs open with his and presses his hardness against her.

  “Bedroom.” She whispers the words against his lips when they both come up for air. Hawk pulls her down the hallway and she follows as fast as she can go.

  Impatiently, he grabs the hem of her sweater dress and pulls it over her head, leaving her standing in her underwear. “You’re so pretty, Melissa.” He ducks his head down and kisses her collarbone, making her shiver against him.

  She grapples at his j
acket, shoving it down his arms and his t-shirt quickly follows. She wants to feel him against her; she’s desperate for him. He pushes her against the wall, the ridge in his jeans rubbing against the wetness in her panties.

  “I need you, now.” She pulls at the buttons on his jeans, letting them fall over his hips and then his hands are ripping her bra off, freeing her breasts. He weighs them in his hands, rubbing his thumb over her hardened nipples, making her sigh against his mouth as he kisses her.

  She reaches down into his boxers and takes hold of his hardness, feeling an answering jolt of heat between her thighs. He kisses her hungrily, as frantic for her as she is for him. His fingers find the slickness between her legs and she cries out at his touch. She’s so turned on that all it takes is a touch from him to turn her body into pure electricity.

  He maneuvers them to the bed, settling himself down on the edge and pulling her down on top of him. She straddles him and looks down at his expression as she settles herself on his lap, his tip entering her deliciously slowly. They both let out a sigh as he sheathes himself inside of her. She rocks up and down on his lap, throwing her head back as he takes her nipples in his mouth, licking and kissing them, driving her wild.

  They’d dispensed with condoms. They were both clean and she’d been on the pill for years. The skin on skin contact was better than anything she’d ever felt. They’re both breathing heavily, panting as they kiss and nip at each other, their hips pumping as they propel each other towards a shuddering climax. Melissa cries out as fireworks pop behind her eyes and Hawk thrusts one final time, his back stiffening as he reaches his peak.

  In the afterglow, Hawk lifts Melissa and lays her down on the bed next to him, covering them both with a quilt. He tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and kisses her forehead before settling her against him, his hand intertwined with hers over his chest. The act is so intimate it squeezes Melissa’s heart. She opens her mouth to start an explanation that she should have gone through with hours before, but Hawk’s breathing is already deep and even. He’s fallen asleep and he’s given her another out.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Before the sky is even light, Melissa slips out of bed, careful not to wake Hawk. She’d been staring up at the ceiling for hours, her sense of guilt making it impossible for her to sleep. She slips on a t-shirt of his that he’d left one day and she’d taken to wearing it. It smelled of him and never failed to comfort her. She heads to the kitchen and pours herself a glass of water, formulating the words that she needs to say in her mind. She knows that she can’t let another opportunity pass her by; it isn’t fair to him. As soon as Hawk wakes up she is going to tell him, and she isn’t going to let herself take the easy way out.

  She tiptoes back into her bedroom and it takes her a few moments to realize that the bed is empty. The light by her desk in the corner is on and Hawk is standing next to it, his jeans unbuttoned as he stares at something. He must hear her come up behind him. He turns around slowly, holding something up in his hand and Melissa feels her heartbeat quicken. It’s not just the expression of confusion on his face that does it, it’s what he’s holding, her press pass for the Portland Tribune. She must have been so distracted with the conversation she had planned to have with Hawk that she’d just left it lying around when she’d arrived home from the rink.

  “Hawk.” She takes a step towards him but he holds up his hand to stop her.

  “What the hell is this?” His voice is cold and it chills her to the bone.

  “Hawk, I’m sorry. I was planning to tell you -”

  “Don’t bullshit me, Melissa.” The warm, tender way that he usually says her name is gone and she wonders if it’s ever coming back. “Are you a reporter?”

  Melissa swallows hard, wishing that she could give him a different answer. But the time for lies has passed. Now all she could do was tell him the truth, tell him everything. She nods tightly and watches as his shoulders slump at her words.

  “You told me you were a blogger, that you wrote fiction, that you wanted to become a great writer.” He shakes his head like he can’t believe that he trusted her.

  “All those things were true. I didn’t lie about any of that!” She hears the desperation in her own voice.

  “So what do you do for the Portland Tribune? Did you know they’ve been trying to get the low-down on the Kings for years, just so they can sell more papers?” The anger on his face makes her take an involuntary step back. Then it hits him, he connects the dots and Melissa wishes that the earth would open up beneath her and swallow her up. “That’s why you came to the bar that night, isn’t it? You were working for the paper.”

  “That’s how it started, but I met you and everything changed.” She takes another step towards him.

  “I don’t want to hear this.” He walks past her pulling on his t-shirt and jacket and heading out of the bedroom.

  She follows him, not wanting him to leave like this. “Hawk, let me explain!”

  He whirls around to face her, his eyes angry. “Explain what? That you only got close to me to find out about the club? That you’ve been lying to me, to all of us? That you made me think I could trust you when all the time you were just getting ready to betray us?” He slams his fist against the doorframe hard and she winces at the impact but he doesn’t even seem to feel it. She’s never seen him like this; it gives her a bit of an insight into the things he does when he’s working for the Kings. It’s not something she ever wants to be on the receiving end of.

  “Yes, I was supposed to write a story about the Caged Kings. My editor thought I would be able to get information that his guys have never been able to access. It was going to be my big break, but this morning I told him that I couldn’t do it.” For the first time she feels like she has Hawk’s attention. “I fell for you, for the club, and the community. I knew there was no way I could write the story, not the way he wanted me to. I never wanted to hurt you. Please, you have to believe me.”

  “You told me I could trust you. I made the mistake of believing you then. I won’t make the same mistake twice.” His hand grabs hold of the doorknob and yanks it open.

  “Hawk, please don’t leave like this. Talk to me.” Melissa feels the tears pricking at the back of her eyes as she watches his chest heave with the deep breaths he’s taking to calm himself down.

  “We all trusted you. The guys treated you like family without even knowing you.” Hawk shakes his head but keeps his back turned to her so she can’t see his face. “You want me to talk to you, to tell you that everything is going to be all right, that all is forgiven? I can’t even look at you, Melissa. I can’t stand the sight of you.”

  He storms through the door, slamming it so hard behind him that it makes the windows rattle. As the sound of his motorcycle fades, Melissa slumps down onto the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest and she finally lets the tears come.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  “Are you sure you’re going to be alright? I don’t have to go out tonight.” Ali gives her best friend a concerned look.

  “Yes, you do.” Melissa gives Ali a serious stare, which is only made mildly less effective by the redness of her eyes. “I don’t expect you to babysit me every night. It was a breakup, not a bereavement!” Melissa tries a smile but, from the expression on Ali’s face, it doesn’t come off all that well.

  “Don’t do that, ‘Mel. I’m the one who’s been sharing pizzas and passing you tissues for the better part of a week! You don’t have to pretend around me. I know it wasn’t just a breakup!” Ali lays her hand over Melissa’s, surreptitiously moving her coffee mug out of reach at the same time, knowing that if Melissa has any more coffee, she’ll be up half the night obsessing over what happened between her and Hawk.

  Melissa looks up at the ceiling, sighing deeply and wrapping her terry cloth dressing gown around herself even tighter. She was in the second stage of post-breakup mourning now and that mostly consisted of moping around the house and feeling sorry for herself. So far so
good.

  “What do you want me to say, Ali? That I cared about him? That I hate how we left things?” Melissa rubs at her eyes, surprised that she can even bring herself to cry anymore. Her tears should all be used up by now, surely. “Sorry, I know you’re just trying to help. But right now I think I just need to be alone.” She lets her forehead drop down to the kitchen counter and starts banging her forehead against it.

  “You know that if you keep doing that for much longer, you’ll be lucky if you have any brain cells left.” Ali nudges Melissa back from the countertop and rolls her eyes at the expression on her friend’s face. “How have you got yourself so worked up about a guy that you only just met? I mean I haven’t even met him yet!” Ali almost looks more annoyed about this than any other aspect of the situation.