Journeys - SF10

by Meagher, Susan X

  As everyone filed back into the house, Ally tugged on Ryan's sleeve and asked, "Stay outside with me for a minute, will you?"

  "Sure." Ryan let Jamie pass her to go in, and she sat down and waited for Ally to do the same. "What's up?"

  "First off, I want to thank you for having me to your home, Ryan. Thank God I didn't know your family before, 'cause I never would have let you get away," she laughed. "I haven't been at a big family celebration since I left North Carolina, and I've got to tell you-it's given me something to think about. I tend to think of families as mostly evil, and it's really great to see that's an overgeneralization."

  Ryan reached over and grasped her hand, and gave it a squeeze. "I'm really glad you came. It's about time my family met the mystery woman," she smiled.

  "You know, Ryan," she said reflectively, "I know that you've said you've never allowed yourself to fall in love, but unless I'm reading you very wrong, there is, or was, something special between you and Sara. Am I off the mark?"

  Ryan could feel her color rising, and she decided to be completely honest with her friend. "She was my first love, Ally. Things didn't work out from the very start, and she's been out of my life since I was a senior in high school. We just re-established contact this fall."

  "But that was a long time ago," the larger woman said, scratching her head a bit. "I swore she said she was just now coming out."

  "I don't want to give away Sara's confidences, but it's taken her a long time to get comfortable being gay. She's just now taking some big steps."

  "Hmm…" She looked at Ryan carefully and asked, "How do you feel about me calling her? Please be honest with me, Ryan. I would never do something that would upset you."

  Ryan sighed and looked to the sky for a moment, trying to organize her thoughts. "I love you both, Ally, and there's nothing I'd like better than for the two of you to hit it off. You're both very special people, and I honestly think she'd really like you."

  "But…" Ally led.

  "But…it would take me a long time to get comfortable with it if you…went out."

  Ally smiled gently and said, "I think you mean if we stayed in."

  The dark head nodded quickly as Ryan said, "Yeah. It's the staying in part that I'd have to come to terms with."

  "Then I won't do it," Ally said quickly. "There are lots of other women out there."

  Ryan placed her hand on her knee and said, "No. Really, Ally. Don't let my discomfort stop you. Every mature bone in my body wants the two of you to find someone to love. There's just a small part of me that doesn't ever want anyone else to play with my toys-and that's something I should get over."

  Ally brought her hand up, and ruffled Ryan's hair fondly. "I'd never play with your favorite toys with anyone else, Ryan," she teased. "I'm retiring them to a shrine of honor."

  "Oh, that's helpful," the dark woman laughed. "Now I feel better."

  "I'm just pulling your cute little leg, sugar. I know you're referring to Sara. Hey," she said, remembering something from earlier in the day. "What's with this name your father uses for you?"

  "He and my grandparents are the only ones who use it," she revealed. "Ryan's actually my middle name."

  "Well, it's darned adorable. I really like being around your family, Ryan, and I hope you invite me again."

  "I will," she said decisively. "Hey, if it's not too personal, what happened with Ellen?"

  "She wasn't really ready to settle down," Ally said. "I'm going to try to stay away from younger women. I want to find someone who's where I am in terms of commitment."

  "I hope you find it, Ally, and if it's with Sara, you have my full support."

  I might have to run in the other direction if I ever see you together, but you'll have my support from a distance!

  Maeve pulled Catherine aside to check on her just before dinner was served. "You look like you're feeling a little better, dear. Is that so?"

  "Yes, I honestly do feel better, Maeve. Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder. Letting out some of the sadness really helped."

  "I'll be home all weekend, Catherine. If you're feeling blue or just want to talk, you call me, all right?"

  "I will, Maeve. It's such a comfort to have you for a friend."

  "Me too, Catherine. Me too," she said fondly as she gave her friend a generous hug.

  The lavish feast was spread on the large dining room table. Everyone stood and admired the perfectly browned birds, but Ryan broke through the crowd and declared, "I can't wait another minute. Let's eat!"

  "You know the rule," Martin warned her. "But since you're in such a hurry, you can just do the honors."

  "I'm up for it!" she declared. She held out both of her hands, so Martin grasped one and Jamie the other. Everyone else joined hands quickly as they jammed into every inch of the small room. "We all have a tremendous amount to be thankful for this year," she said conversationally as she glanced around the room. "But the thing I'm most grateful for is friendship. Even though I'm related to most of you, and deeply in love with one of you," she shot a glance at her beaming partner, "I would choose each of you as a friend. So I'd like to offer a blessing for friendship." She closed her eyes for a moment, and let her head drop back as she began to speak,

  May you be blessed with good friends.

  May you learn to be a good friend to yourself.

  May you journey to that place in your soul where there is great love, warmth, feeling and forgiveness.

  May you be brought in to the real passion, kinship and affinity of belonging.

  And may your friends bring you all of the blessings, challenges, truth and light that you need for all of the journeys of your life.

  She picked her head up and smiled at each of her guests as she loudly proclaimed, "Amen!"

  Before the word was out of her mouth, Jamie had thrown her arms around her in a very enthusiastic hug. "That was beautiful, Ryan. Just beautiful!"

  "Thanks, babe," she murmured as she squirmed out of her embrace, her blue eyes fixed on the feast, "but I gotta eat!"

  Half an hour later, five sets of eyes were fixed on the back of Ryan's head as she continued to lean over her plate, as if worried that her food would be taken from her if she did not protect it. She was sitting on the second step of the staircase, and Jamie, Sara, Jordan, Ally and Jennie were all perched on higher stairs. The other women had finished eating 15 minutes earlier, but Ryan had not only not stopped, she had not even slowed down. When it became obvious that she was deep in her trance, Jamie had taken her own plate and gone to fill it again. When Ryan finished her first helping, Jamie slid the refill onto her lap. Ryan acknowledged the gesture with some sort of grunt, but she could not waste the effort to actually form words. As she neared the end of the second plate, Jamie hopped up again and used Ryan's original for her second refill. Now all eyes were on her to see if she would be up to a fourth. As Jamie started to rise, Ryan placed a hand on her knee and smiled over at her as she said, "Gotta save room for dessert, babe." She popped the last forkful of turkey into her mouth as she leaned back and let out a big breath. "I would give up my birthday and Christmas before I'd give up Thanksgiving."

  "You know, I could make you this dinner any time you wanted it," Jamie reminded her.

  "Nope. It's not the same. It's the entire experience I enjoy."

  Martin raised his voice above the din and begged, "Bit of a hush, please." The crowd quieted almost immediately as he announced, "Before we serve dessert, it's our tradition to have each person express one thing they're thankful for this year. I volunteer to begin." He waited for quiet and said, "I have more gifts in my life than any man deserves, but I'm particularly thankful this year for being blessed by the gift of this wonderful woman's love." He had grasped Maeve's hand, and he gave it a squeeze as she smiled up at him.

  "It's no surprise that my thoughts are exactly the same," Maeve said, giving him a fond smile.

  They went around the crowded room as each cousin, aunt, and uncle took a turn.
>
  Catherine was standing on the edge of the crowd, jiggling the baby on her hip. As her turn came she said, "I understand the rules, but I'm afraid I can't name one thing that I'm thankful for. It was hard enough to narrow it down to two!" she said with a laugh. "I'm more thankful than I can say for being given the opportunity to really get the chance to know my lovely daughter." She walked over to where Jamie was perched, and gently patted her cheek as Jamie turned her head and kissed her palm. "But I doubt that I would have ever done so if it hadn't been for Ryan. Her influence helped us all break the status quo and start to see each other as we really are. For that I'm eternally grateful." Ryan peeked her head up above the banister as Catherine leaned over and gave her an appreciative kiss.

  When the spotlight landed on the young women guests, Jennie went first. "I'm thankful for lots of things, too," she began in her soft voice. She shot a shy look at Ryan and said, "But the biggest thing I'm thankful for is that Ryan and Jamie helped me to get to stay in Berkeley. It's really been great."

  Ryan was gazing at the young woman with deep affection in her eyes. Despite all of the crappy things that have happened to her this year, she's still got that fire of optimism burning in her. I don't know where she got it, but thank God she does.

  Sara was next up and she looked like she wanted to skip her turn, but she took a breath as she gazed at a point in the center of the room, and said softly, "I'm thankful for second chances." Her head lifted slowly, and she pasted on a small smile and nodded to Jordan to indicate it was her turn.

  Jordan looked directly at Ryan as she smiled and said, "I'm thankful for my friends. One in particular." She stretched her arm out and caught Ryan's hand as she gave it a firm squeeze.

  Ally took her turn and said in her softly accented voice, "I'm thankful for being included in a real family celebration."

  Ryan was up next. "I'm thankful for a gift I received this year," she said as she squeezed Jamie's thigh. "It's a gift I didn't expect, but I've come to rely on it completely. I look forward to every time we're together, and I can honestly say that it's given me more pleasure than I could imagine. So, I thank God for my Lexus," she giggled as Jamie grabbed her and began to tickle her furiously. "Oh, all of that's true for Jamie too," she gasped out as the assault continued.

  "I'm going to be a bit more mature than my little friend," Jamie said when she released her captive. "I'm thankful for so much this year that it's almost impossible for me to fathom. But I'd have to say that I'm most thankful for my very large, very loving family. Some of us are related by blood," she said as she cast a fond glance at her mother, "but all of us are bound by love." She smiled down at her grinning partner, and leaned over a bit to lightly brush their lips together. "Especially you, Tiger," she said softly.

  "Well done, everyone," Martin proclaimed. "It's time for dessert." Jennie, Sara, Ally, and Jordan hopped up immediately, but Ryan grasped Jamie's hand to urge her to stay for a moment. Everyone was near the dining room, so they had some of privacy for a few moments. She couldn't stand to have a whole stair tread between them so she tugged at her partner until she climbed down and came to sit between Ryan's legs. The dark woman draped her arms around Jamie's neck and leaned over until their cheeks touched.

  "You're the first person I thank God for every morning, and the last at night." Ryan was speaking so softly that the sensation of her breath on her cheek was more noticeable than the sound of her voice. "Being with you has exceeded every expectation I ever had about being in love. I'm so very thankful for the bountiful gift of your love," she whispered.

  Jamie got to her feet and extended her hand to help Ryan up. "Come with me," she murmured, leading her from the room. It took quite a while to get through the crowd, but they were finally alone in the backyard. Without a word, she went over to the camera and attached a long cable-release, double-checked the focus, and positioning Ryan on her mark, stood right next to her. "I want to forever capture the look on your face when you tell me how you feel about me. Tell me again," she urged as she clasped her hands around Ryan's neck and leaned back in her embrace.

  Ryan smiled serenely and settled her hips against Jamie's, looking down at her with all of the tender emotions she felt for her partner ill-concealed by her expressive eyes. "I love your very essence," she said softly, smiling a little brighter when she heard the shutter release. "The things that make you most you are the things that appeal to me the most." Another muted snap as the shutter clicked again. "Your generosity, your determination, your perseverance, and your constant quest to make me happy all combine to make you the most desirable woman I could ever hope to know." She was fairly sure that the shutter clicked again, but the warm pressure of Jamie's lips created a faint buzz in her ears as she lost herself to the sensation.

  The cable release fell to the ground as Jamie's arms rose to encircle Ryan's neck. Their bodies joined, merging into the remarkably secure fit that they had perfected over the previous months with their continuous practice. "You are the meaning of love," Jamie whispered as her lips were claimed by Ryan's.

  "Every time I question my beliefs, I just think of you," Ryan whispered. "Only a loving God could create someone as pure and good as you are. You are the most visible sign of God's presence that I've ever known. You give me faith."

  "Happy Thanksgiving, Ryan. The first of many, many more to come."