My Way Back to You (Harlequin Large Print Super Romance)

by Pamela Hearon

  Rosemary felt the smile break onto her face. “He’s great. Better than he has been in years.” At least, some parts of her life were back to where they should be.

  “Good. And you enjoyed the trip in your motor home?”

  The question took her aback...but, of course, Maggie would’ve told him all about that. They were traveling when he was here last. “Fantastic,” she answered. “What a wonderful way to travel. Fun and comfortable, and no flying involved. Suits me—well, actually both of us—to a T.”

  “I’m glad it went well, and you had a good time. But...back to my question. So, Maggie doesn’t know we’re talking?”

  “No. I mentioned I wanted to call you, but she told me not to. Said y’all had already said everything that needed to be said.”

  The pause on the other end made her regret her words. She felt the mood shift as surely as if he’d been standing right there with her. “If she feels that way—” tension sharpened his tone “—then I think you and I have nothing else to say, either.”

  No! Crap! In desperation, Rosemary plunged wildly into the one topic she was certain would keep him on the line. “Look at Russ...how he turned out.” She spoke rapidly. “Y’all may have changed a lot over the years. But those changes haven’t necessarily been bad or...or even things that should keep you apart. You’ve both grown up and learned to deal with problems in an adult manner. You’ve worked together to raise a son who’s about the most perfect young man on God’s green earth—and I’d say that even if he wasn’t my grandson. It took a lot of cooperation for y’all to make that work. But you did, and that tells me there’s a foundation for happiness there if y’all would just start to build on it again.”

  “Russ is my proudest moment—” His voice broke, and the sound cracked her heart. “But he seems to be the only thing we can get right.”

  “And you would get plenty of other things right if you get back together, give it another chance.” She hoped he took that as the encouragement she intended and not as an accusation.

  “Maggie’s made it clear she’s not interested in trying again. Not with me, anyway.” Rosemary recognized the defeat in his voice because she felt it, too. “I appreciate that you called, Rosemary. And I do believe you’re sincerely trying to help and not just butting in. But I think we’re done here, don’t you?”

  “I suppose.” She was fighting back tears of frustration, but she wouldn’t cry, not yet.

  “And when Russ comes home for Thanksgiving, give him an extra tight hug from me, would you?”

  “I will, Jeff. It’s been nice talking to you.”

  “You, too.”

  “Well, goodbye, I guess.”

  “Bye.”

  Rosemary slunk back toward the house, hoping Eli was absorbed enough in his TV show not to notice she’d been outside for a while.

  He’d be pissed if he ever found out she’d called Jeff.

  And Maggie would be livid.

  Well, too bad. Desperate times called for desperate measures. And, to her way of thinking, Maggie and Jeff were desperation personified.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  MAGGIE STEPPED OUT of the motor home into the chilly mid-November air, carefully juggling her hot tea, phone and paperback. The weather was so unpredictable in Kentucky in November. One day could be warm enough for shorts and the next cold enough for gloves.

  This one fell somewhere in the middle. The jeans she wore gave just enough cover to her legs and the steaming cup warmed her hands.

  Several more campers had pulled out today, leaving the campground nearly empty. Only she and four other RVs remained. The entire place would be closing down December first, and her Dad would come get the motor home and take it back to Taylor’s Grove. But for the next week, it would be here if she and Russ wanted to camp a bit while he was home.

  She suspected he might. Maybe he’d even want to go tomorrow as soon as he got home. He loved being on Kentucky Lake as much as she did.

  Dragging her chair down to the edge of the water, she settled in to watch the flocks of Canada geese passing overhead in their race south. Romantic creatures that mated for life, they held a special place in her heart.

  “Lur-erk!” She bellowed a honk like her dad taught her when she was eight. Thirty years later, she could still get the attention of those in hearing range. These weren’t, and her call went unanswered.

  She watched until she lost sight of their V formations, which reminded her of arrowheads all pointing the same direction to some great unknown. Always forward—never back.

  Back was never an option.

  This day had been a duplicate of the one before and the one before that. Gray water meeting gray sky, thin gray clouds muting a setting sun. Nothing that required focus. A dull, peaceful canvas that allowed her thoughts to travel wherever they wanted.

  Mostly they traveled to Chicago and San Diego.

  She’d thought her mom was way off base when she suggested they leave the motor home at the lake after their last camping trip and let Maggie use it as a getaway on her days off.

  Who needed a getaway when they lived alone?

  But Mom had been proved right...again.

  Getting away from Taylor’s Grove and the house and the memories and the loneliness had been a good thing. A wonderful thing.

  Silent time with no distractions—time to reflect on the changes in her life the past year. Time for her soul to heal and fill with peace as she let go of the negative and began to, literally, count her blessings, touching her thumb to her fingers in silent enumeration.

  Foremost in the things she counted was Russ, eighteen and in college, making it on his own. She’d allowed his age, coupled with her widowhood, to convince her she was old. But blessing number two—the baby—proved to her otherwise. Although still there, grief took up a much smaller area than it had previously and acceptance filled in the surrounding gap. And with that acceptance came the acknowledgment that she was much younger than she allowed herself to think. She could still get pregnant. Her body still brimmed with hormones...with life—enough to create more life. Getting pregnant a third time certainly wasn’t in her plans, but knowing she could brought thanks to her heart.

  Blessing number three. She touched her thumb to her middle finger—her dad’s health. She’d lost the baby, yet another precious life had been restored. Grief and joy commingled. Neither existed without the other. The never-ending cycle.

  Never ending was a fitting description for other things, too—like blessing number four. She made herself speak the name aloud. “Jeff.” Then she breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth to ease the pain that still lingered. If she said his name often enough, maybe it would become commonplace like water or food. But right then, she craved him more than the other two.

  God, she loved him.

  But she’d made the decision to push him out of her life and cut off any contact. And he’d respected her wishes at last—finally relinquishing control.

  That accomplishment sounded better in her head than it felt in her heart.

  During these weeks of silence, she’d found her strength again, both mental and physical. She would move forward now like the geese, accepting the unknown with courage, grace and dignity.

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath—finding once more that place of inner peace, accepting that the ache deep in her soul would always be there as a reminder of all she’d lost.

  Only then could she be truly thankful for all she had.

  An explosion of sound came from nowhere. Her eyes jerked open to the sight of a flock of Canada geese, low and directly overhead. She sprang from her seat and honked, laughing as all seven tilted their heads and answered.

  Seven.

  One was without her mate.

  Had he died? Or had they gotten separate
d by life’s uncertain circumstances? Maybe he was waiting patiently at the end of her journey, watching the sky, positive she would find her way back to him.

  The thought stirred a yearning at some primal depth, causing Maggie’s heart to explode into a wild rhythm that pushed blood to every part of her body. Her arms and legs and fingertips and toes tingled with the lively certainty she, too, could soar if she would only spread her wings and have faith.

  The flock disappeared, obscured by the treetops, but she continued staring at the sky where it had passed. This path was different from the one the others had taken, and the image of the V-formation arrowhead imprinted on her brain.

  It pointed the direction she knew her heart lay—west toward the sun. Toward California and Jeff. And, despite the cloudy day, her vision was crystal clear—she and Jeff together forever.

  Was it still possible to make the vision a reality?

  Perhaps. But it would take her head and her heart agreeing on what some people would find absurd.

  Moving forward in her life actually meant the same as finding her way back.

  * * *

  THE CLUB HEAD connected with the golf ball, and Jeff heard the satisfying ping, confirming he’d hit the sweet spot. He watched the tiny orb soar upward then down in an arc so perfect Tiger Woods would’ve been proud to have made the shot. Sure enough, it landed exactly where he’d aimed—at the top of the rise on the green—and then started rolling down, gathering speed, curving with the lay of the land until it found its way to the edge of the hole and disappeared inside.

  An eagle—two under par on a tough par five hole. A rare occurrence among amateurs.

  He stalked toward the hole to retrieve his ball, trying to work up some excitement. He should feel proud...elated even. He should have dinner in the clubhouse and brag about the shot. He should give Maggie the credit because the damn woman had him so damn frustrated he’d crushed the first damn shot of the hole, sending the damn ball farther than any damn drive he’d ever made.

  Damn it!

  He penciled his score into the box on the scorecard and thrust it and the ball into his pants pocket. For weeks, his conversation with Rosemary had played on a continuous loop in his brain.

  She told me for a fact she loves you and always will.

  She loves you...always will.

  Love finds a way.

  Where was the way? Wasn’t the fact they hadn’t found a way proof in itself that love doesn’t have the best sense of direction?

  He shoved his pitching wedge into his bag and got back in the cart. Despite the score he’d just earned, the mood to play had abandoned him. Well, honestly, he hadn’t been in the mood to play in the first place. He’d thought the game would get his mind off Maggie, but it hadn’t worked.

  Nothing worked.

  He followed the cart path and was nearly back to the clubhouse when his phone vibrated in the holder. The caller ID flashed Russ. Finally something to brighten his mood!

  “Hey, son.”

  “Hey, Dad. How’s it going?”

  He’d been granted the chance to brag a bit, after all. “Couldn’t be better.” Certainly an exaggeration, but he didn’t want to let on anything was wrong. “I just got an eagle on number twelve.”

  “Wow. Impressive.”

  The words were correct, but the lack of enthusiasm put Jeff’s nerves on edge. Of course, they didn’t have to go far to get there. They’d been hovering on the edge for over a month now. “Yeah, well...um, is everything okay at school?”

  The long pause said it all and brought the hairs on Jeff’s arms to attention.

  “You know I’m going home tomorrow for Thanksgiving.” Russ’s voice was pulled so taut Jeff felt the tension in his own neck.

  “Yeeeah?”

  “Well...” Another pause and then words rushed out. “I’ve decided I’m not coming back. I mean, since I don’t have my car up here, I’ll have to come back and get the rest of my stuff, but—”

  “Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Jeff fairly shouted, garnering angry glares from the people putting on the green he was passing. “Wait just a minute,” he said to Russ, and then stomped on the pedal to quickly get to a place where he could talk. The next fairway was empty, so he pulled under some trees and stopped the cart. “Now.” He fought to keep his voice calm. “Tell me what’s going on.”

  “I’m moving back home, Dad.” Russ’s voice trembled.

  “Why, son? What’s happened?”

  “I...I just don’t like it.”

  He couldn’t remember Russ ever saying those words before. The kid had always been the easiest person to get along with. What in the hell could’ve brought this on? “I understand that Chicago’s really different from Taylor’s Grove, Russ, but you can’t—”

  “Yes, I can, Dad.” The harsh tone was one he’d never heard, either. “I’m grown now, and I can do what I want.”

  That attitude lit the fuse on the keg of dynamite Jeff had been sitting on since Rosemary’s call. “Now you listen to me, young man—”

  “I don’t have to listen” was the angry retort. “I’m going home tomorrow. And I’m staying.”

  “Talk to me. Tell me what’s happened.” Jeff waited for an answer. It came as three short beeps. “The little shit hung up on me!” Jeff exploded, and hit Redial, listening to it ring. No answer. He waited a few seconds and hit it again. No answer. He jabbed the pedal with his foot and raced back to the clubhouse. A wide-eyed attendant who met him didn’t ask any questions as he brought the cart to a skidding stop. Jerking his clubs from the cart, Jeff threw them over his shoulder and stormed to his locker, where he tossed them in and slammed the door.

  He was almost back to his car when his phone rang. He answered without looking at the caller ID. “Hello.” It was a harsh statement, not a question.

  “You’ve talked to him then.” Maggie’s voice, her tone matching his own.

  “Yeah. What in the hell is going on?”

  “I have no idea. He hung up on me, and won’t answer when I call him back.”

  Jeff detected hurt in her voice. Well, he sure as hell didn’t feel hurt. He was mad. Pure and simple.

  “I guess I’ll find out when he gets here,” she said.

  “We’ll find out.” He stressed the word, a plan of action already formed in his mind. “I’m coming out there, Mags. We’ve got to talk some sense into him before he loses his scholarship.” The thought of that happening made Jeff’s jaws tighten to the point of pain.

  “Oh...” He heard her discomfort.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll get a hotel room.”

  “No. Don’t do that. Stay here.” Her voice quivered, but he couldn’t tell much from her tone.

  Was she pleased? What did it matter, anyway? Right at that moment, he didn’t give a rat’s ass. Parenting took precedence over everything else.

  “Okay,” he halfheartedly agreed, knowing he’d book a room, anyway. That way she’d truly have the choice, and he wouldn’t be forcing her into anything. He reached his car. “But I can’t talk now. I’m mad as hell, and I’ve got a shitload of stuff to take care of before I leave.”

  “I understand,” she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She was gone.

  He climbed into his car and gave the steering wheel a swat with the palm of his hand. “What in the hell else can go wrong?” He sat there a minute, breathing deeply, then he leaned forward. “Please don’t answer that,” he said with a glance through the windshield up at the sky.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  THE ALARM SIGNALED someone was coming up the drive. Maggie glanced expectantly out the window. As she’d hoped, it was her mom’s car with Jeff in the passenger seat. She threw on the sweater lying on the back of the chair and hurried out to meet them.

  Jeff was out of the car in
a flash, worry etched into the crease between his brows. He looked older than he had two months ago, though still the sexiest guy she’d ever known. No salutation was uttered. No hug. He simply stepped toward her, took her arms in his hands and rubbed them gently up and down. His touch caused her heart to bounce hard in her chest like a ball thrown against a brick wall.

  “How is he?” he asked.

  She gave a one-shoulder shrug. “Silent. I’ve never seen him like this.”

  Her mom popped the trunk but didn’t get out. “So he’s not said anything?” she called through the passenger door Jeff left open.

  Maggie stepped over to the car while he retrieved his luggage from the trunk. “Not yet.”

  “He will.” Her mom gave her a reassuring smile.

  Jeff’s hand pressed the small of her back, its warmth seeping through her sweater and the knit top below. She breathed easier now than she had in the twenty-four hours since Russ’s call.

  “Thanks for picking me up, Rosemary.” Jeff leaned down and gave a small wave. “You saved me the money and the hassle of dealing with a rental. I’m grateful.”

  “Happy to do it.” She made a shooing motion with her hand. “Now, go straighten out my grandson.”

  Maggie nodded and closed the door. They held off going inside until her mom’s car made the turn around and headed out. Then she turned to Jeff. “I’m glad you’re here,” she said honestly, though not giving away the depth of emotion she felt.

  Jeff searched her face, his gaze lingering for a fraction on her mouth and then moving up again to lock with her eyes. “Me, too,” he said.

  She intertwined her fingers with his and filled him in as they made their way through the garden. “He hugged me really tight when he got off the train and made chitchat, but as soon as I mentioned school, he sulled up like a possum.”

  When she opened the door, the house was pulsating with the beat of heavy metal music originating from the second floor.

  Jeff grimaced, his eyes rolling toward the ceiling. “No indication at all of what’s wrong?”