by Matt Shaw
“Make sure you’re ready to leave by midday.... that way we should make it home by about six.”
“You know there’s quicker routes to get home...” said Joel the walking satellite navigation system...
“Shut up, freak.” Adam replied.
I’m glad someone said it. I’ve already annoyed Claire and Tim so far - would be a shame to alienate everyone before I even stepped into the house.
Sarah continued, choosing to ignore the bickering, “And if there are any problems - Claire has my number....”
“What if she dies?” asked Hannah.
“Charming! Thanks a lot!” said Claire.
A surprising question from Hannah the stereotypical blonde. Normally she’s so engrossed in herself she barely hears anything anyone else says - let alone comes out with a statement, trying to be funny. At least, I think she was trying to be funny.
“Hello.... haunted house.... ghosts.... what if one of them pulls you into another diversion?! I’m just trying to be practical...”
“Dimension,” Joel corrected her.
“No one will be dying but if it worries you that much...” Sarah turned to Claire, “give my number to Hannah too.”
James leaned over to Joel, “Mate, if you want to get in her pants, don’t correct her.... don’t ever correct a woman. That’s the Golden Rule. They’re right.... you’re wrong.... When Josie mentioned Little Chef being owned by Gordon Ramsey.... did I correct her? No.... No, I didn’t. I let her get away with it... let her think I was amazed by how clever she was...”
“He does own it!” shouted Josie.
“Can we all focus on me, please...” said Sarah as she continued to fail at keeping the group’s attention.
“Forget what James tells you,” said Adam, “you want to get in her pants... rohypnol.”
Jesus.
I tuned out and turned my attention to the house. I wonder what sort of people would have lived here, when it was first built. I’m always fascinated by places like this. I love the history behind them, the stories which would have unfolded in the rooms within. I bet this place had loads of stories.
“... and a Bat-Cave....” Tom was talking to Claire.
Tune out.
I don’t believe in ghosts and things that go bump in the night as much as I love the idea of them. I’m a realist but, at the same time, I come to places such as this with a slight hope something is going to prove me wrong. As I look around the group, though, my heart sinks - if there is something lurking within the mansion’s many shadows, nooks and crannies.... we’ll probably scare them off long before they come to scare us.
“Okay, get your bags from the mini-bus and explore your new home!” Sarah finished.
* * * * *
Standing at the mansion’s main door, Claire was the only one of us who waved Sarah and the mini-bus driver off as they went down the road to the near-by Bed and Breakfast. Close enough to get here, in case of an emergency, but far enough away to make us feel even more isolated.
A note, on the door, from Mr Singleton - at least, I presumed it was from him - invited us in and told us to make ourselves feel at home. Somehow feeling at home, in a building as magnificent as this, will probably be near on impossible for teenagers such as ourselves. Other than Joel anyway, cocky prick thinks he’s going to be living in Number Ten, Downing Street, by the time he is in his mid-twenties.
Joel was the first in, closely followed by his little lap-dog James, “Jesus, look at the size of this place....”
I was one of the last in - not through choice, I just couldn’t be bothered to push my way in like the rest of the group. Joel’s statement about size wasn’t out of place. One of the biggest, grandest hallways I had ever seen. There were creaky floorboards underfoot, two large statues either side of the staircase which started in the centre of the room and snaked it’s way up to the next floor. A balcony, on the second floor, ensured all who were upstairs could clearly see down into the hall.
“Does anyone else not think it’s weird that the owner isn’t here to greet us?” asked Josie.
“He probably is here, somewhere,” I said.
“What do you mean?” asked Hannah - never one to miss out on one of Josie’s conversations.
The group turned and looked at me.
“He’s probably setting some ghosts up, or something like that....”
“Ghosts?” said Claire.
I continued, “Yes - you know - something to try and scare us....”
Joel butted in, “Andy’s probably right, you know. We’re staying in a haunted house, for the weekend, for charity... you don’t think somewhere along the lines they’ll try and scare us?”
“Great,” said Claire, “this place already gives me the creeps.... do you think they’ve even heard of a duster?”
We all looked around - large cobwebs in every corner of the room.
“What’s the point in dusting? The whole draw of this place, for the visitors, is that it’s meant to be one of the most haunted buildings in the country.... they hardly want it to look inviting. I’ll have a wager that half of these webs are even fake...” said Joel. James, unsurprisingly, nodded in agreement.
“Well,” Adam joined in, “you fags can stand around talking bullshit, if you want, but we’re off to find our room....”
He put his hand on Tracy’s buttocks and pushed her towards the stairs, his other hand clutching his case.
Joel spoke up again, as though he was designated Leader of the Group, “We’re meant to be staying in the same room, Adam. Boys in one room and girls in another - some of these rooms are out of bounds...”
Adam didn’t even turn to address Joel, just shouted back as he and Tracy continued up the stairs, “As much as I’d love to have you guys in the corner of the room, whacking off, me and Tracy are going to get our own room to fuck in. But thanks for reminding me what a bell-end you are....”
Tracy laughed.
“Well what about you guys?” said Joel as he turned to the rest of us.
“Obviously Hannah and Josie are sharing a room....” said Tom.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Hannah.
Tom, for once, managed to keep his mouth shut.
“Look, they can go off and do whatever they want but I think the rest of us should stick to what we were told by Sarah,” said Claire. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Boys in with the boys and girls with the girls...”
“Fine by me,” said James, “but I’m choosing the room and, if there’s a bed - I call shotgun.”
He grabbed his own case and headed for the stairs too - closely followed by Joel and Tom. I stayed behind wondering whether I could catch the mini-bus up if I left now. The more I thought about staying here, with this group, the more I wish I had stayed at home or that my own folks had denied me permission, for fear of Adam corrupting me too.
The girls, talking amongst themselves, also disappeared up the stairs.
And then there was one.
2.
Exploring old buildings, such as this, is always great fun. You never know what you’re going to find behind each door. I love the creepiness of the building’s moans and groans as you open each door. I love the smells of the rooms. The history... wondering what events happened in them. My imagination creating stories to each room - some of them happy, some of them sad. All of them different.
Even with a lot of the rooms closed off to us, for whatever reason. I knew there’d still be loads to look around. Maybe even find a secret passage or two. An old building like this must have loads of them - maybe some of them unknown by the current owner.... I even love....
“Who’s up for truth or dare?” asked Hannah as she stuck her head into the boys room.
I was lying on my sleeping bag, on the floor. Joel, James and Tom were play fighting on the large bed against the far wall.
“Hell, yeah!” said James - no doubt spotting his opportunity to dare Josie into kissing him. Tom and Joel were also k
een to play, instantly stopping the wrestling match.
I guess we can always explore in the morning.
* * * * *
The girls had already transformed the room they were staying in. A room, doused in history, transformed within less than half an hour with the scent of cheap perfume. Various make-up bits and pieces scattered across the floor, where the girls must have been playing with them with mixed results.... Josie and Hannah both looking good from the effect of the make-up.... Claire.... too much of her youth kissing parental backside to really grasp the concept of ‘less is more’.
Tom’s smile suggested he liked the ‘hooker’ look.
“What about Adam and Tracy?” Josie asked Hannah.
“I’m not even sure what room they’ve vanished into - no way am I trying to find them, by myself!”
The lights in the hallway weren’t the brightest. I didn’t blame Hannah for her reluctance to wander around by herself.
“Besides,” she continued, “fuck knows what I’d find even if I did find their room...”
Again, I didn’t blame Hannah for her reluctance.
The girls had created a make-shift sitting area in their room, made from their pillows and some old cushions they found on a large, somewhat hideous, sofa in the corner of the room. A bottle, full of vodka, lying on it’s side as an unusual centre-piece.
“So - who goes first?” asked Tom, rather foolishly. In situations like this, I’ve always found it best to stick to the background - save drawing attention to yourself. Especially where groups of girls are concerned. Even more so if, like Tom, you’re a virgin. Girls, when with their friends, often spot the virgin a mile off and enjoy teasing him.
“Truth or Dare?” asked Josie.
“Who me?” said Tom.
She nodded. I tried to keep a neutral expression so as not to draw the attention to me next. I’ll play their game but I’ll play it by my rules.
“Dare!” said Tom.
I knew that was happening as well. No doubt, in his sex-starved mind, he was hoping one of the girls would dare him to kiss Claire. Perhaps, he’d have thought, go even further with her too. Sucker. Girls stick together. Especially when picking off the weakest in the group.
“Okay,” said Josie. She turned to Hannah, “What do you think?”
Hannah giggled, “Kiss Joel!”
“What?!” cried Joel as the girls, and James, all laughed.
“Fuck off!” said Tom.
I would have joined in with the girls’ laughter had it not brought unnecessary attention to myself. It was quite funny, his first kiss to be with another man. I wonder how far this game’s going to go.
“Look,” said Joel, the party-pooper, “if we’re to play this game, we’ll play it properly...”
The girls weren’t listening - just chanting for Tom and Joel to have a smooch. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”
“There’s no way I’m going.....”
Joel’s protests were cut short by a surprisingly firm kiss from Tom, right on the lips. To be fair, for a first kiss, it didn’t look to be a bad effort. Certainly got Claire’s attention going by the look on her face and the fact she licked her lips, pretty much as soon as Tom pulled away from Joel. A subconscious desire to be next?
“You fucking do that again, I’ll chin you....”
Something funny about Joel trying to be manly. Something even funnier when it’s just after another bloke has slipped him the tongue. Maybe Truth or Dare is better than looking around the mansion.
“Who’s next?” asked Tom, wiping his face clean.
“Next you spin the bottle and whoever it lands on has to choose between a truth or dare....” said Josie, still smiling from the look on Joel’s face.
“Alright, give it here...”
Tom leant forward to the middle of the circle and took hold of the bottle before giving it a hard spin. If it lands on me, I’ll just pretend I’m here to watch - never actually agreed to play the game.
The bottle rolled to a stop - the bottle neck pointing towards Hannah.
“Dare.... obviously,” she said.
“Kiss....” Tom began.
“We’ve just done a kiss dare.... are they all going to be kiss dares? That’s dull!” moaned Claire.
All the lads shot Claire a filthy look. They got to see two men kiss - why shouldn’t we see two girls.....
“Flash your breasts,” said Tom.
“Is that it?!” asked Hannah. Without a further word she lifted her top, revealing her perfect breasts. The boys of the room fell silent and looked on in awe. Hannah giggled and covered herself up again.
Tom did us proud.
By the time I snapped back to the room - the bottle was once again spinning in the middle of the group. Each person staring at the bottle both hoping it landed on them and yet dreading it at the same time for fear of proper embarrassment.
“Josie!” squealed Hannah when the bottle finally came to a rest.
“After that? Definitely Truth...”
“Boring!” moaned James. I won’t lie - I was kind of hoping to get a glimpse of Josie’s breasts too...
“Truth? People actually pick that?” asked Tom.
Apparently so.
“Okay, the permission slips we had to get signed.... my mum and dad wouldn’t let me come...”
“Because of Adam?” asked Claire.
“Partly. Anyway, they said no and there was no way I was missing out on this so....”
“Oh my God! You forged it!” shrieked Hannah in a pitch close to one that only dogs could hear.
Josie nodded and laughed, “I’m dead when I get home!”
“They’ll be worrying about you all weekend,” said Claire. Claire, as usual, disagreed with anything which disobeyed parents. She believed parents needed to be respected at all times.... whatever they said - we had to do. Part of me thinks she was brainwashed by some sort of weird ‘Perfect- Parenting’ cult... another part of me just presumed she was dropped on her head at birth.
“I left them a note.”
“What did it say?” asked Joel.
“Back on Sunday - have a good weekend,” continued Josie.
Hannah laughed, “Oh my God, they’re so totally going to kill you...”
“Fuck ‘em,” exclaimed Tom, clearly bored by the lack of kissing and breasts on display. “Spin the bottle!”
Josie turned her attention to the bottle and gave it the biggest spin she could. Not a bad effort either for it spun longer than it had done before - certainly adding some suspense to the situation as we all waited to see who was...
“CLAIRE!”
I wish people would stop interrupting my thoughts.
“Obviously Truth,” sniped Hannah.
Hannah disliked Claire. I think it was because she felt intimidated by her. Claire was, after all, just as pretty as Hannah. Admittedly it was a different sort of pretty but, she was still pretty. Hannah was the sort of pretty you see walking down the street and instantly want to bang whereas Claire was the sort of pretty you see walking down the street and instantly start picturing yourself going on dates with. The perfect girlfriend look to her compared to Hannah’s porn-star look. Josie was somewhere inbetween the two of them.
I wouldn’t kick any of them out of bed.
But I have standards, I wouldn’t have begged any of them into bed either.
Hannah also disliked the fact that Tom liked Claire more than her. She liked to be the centre of attention - from both male admirers and female admirers.
Claire, in turn, disliked Hannah which is probably why she replied with, “Dare....”
The lads cheered.
Josie stumbled, clearly not prepared for the answer, “I can’t think of anything...”
“I’ve got something,” I suggested, sitting forward to feel more part of the group.
Tom looked at me and winked. He knew what I was going to dare her. He licked his lips and smiled. Poor Tom... I wouldn’t be so generous to him.
&n
bsp; “Text Sarah....” I said.
“What?”
“Text Sarah....” I didn’t think it was that hard to understand.
