by Lexi Blake
“Or hers.” He hadn’t thought about kids until he’d met her. He dragged her down to meld their mouths together.
It was stupid. It was a bad time. He might not survive to see his child grow up.
What was faith for if he never took a chance? He’d been through all that pain. He had to grab joy where he found it.
He kissed her, his tongue tangling with hers. Over and over he caressed her lips, memorizing her taste for all time. He sank his hands into her hair, pulling it free from the knot she’d wound it into. It spilled over his skin, raining down on her shoulders. When she came up for air, there was pure desire in her eyes and it made him feel larger than he’d been before.
She leaned back, undoing the buttons of the flannel shirt she wore. She slipped it off and tossed it away from the fire. Her skin was golden in the light cast by the campfire. If he had a million days with her, this was what they would do. They would live a life here in Bliss. They would roam the woods and after they’d settled their little ones down for bed, he would take their mother by the light of the fire, showing her over and over how much he needed her, how she was the center of the universe. No sun could hold a candle to her.
She dragged her tank top over her head and unhooked her bra. He sat back, watching her, accepting her gift to him. Every inch of skin she uncovered was a present, an offering of self, and he would never refuse it.
“I never saw anything as beautiful as you.”
She grinned, a light expression he hadn’t seen on her before. He’d put that smile on her face. “You haven’t been out much, babe.”
He cupped her breast. “I don’t need to. I know perfection when I see it. And this is perfect.”
He loved the way her eyes went dark, the lids coming down like they were too heavy to stay open. Desire sparked off her, hardening his cock. The time they’d spent apart had been roughly a day, and it had been far too long. A minute without her was an eternity.
Her arms wrapped around him and he was lost in her. His whole body responded to her touch and scent, to the taste of her. The idea that he didn’t have to wear a condom nearly fried his brain. His cock had never been this hard, never wanted so much. He ran his hands down her back as he kissed her again. He smoothed his palms down to the cheeks of her ass and tilted his pelvis up, letting her know where he wanted to be. Inside her. Deep inside her.
Her hands found his shirt, dragging it over his head. There was a chill in the air, but he didn’t feel it now. All he felt was her heat, the warmth of her love. He kissed his way down her cheek to her neck, loving the way her head dropped back and she moved restlessly on his cock. If he didn’t have his pants on and he’d managed to get hers off, he would already be inside her.
Fuck, he might spend the rest of his time here inside her.
It would make it hard to find what he was looking for, but he was willing to try.
He kissed his way down to her breast. How had he lived without her breasts? They were utterly perfect. They fit in his hand and god, he loved to tug her nipples in his mouth.
He licked at her, feeling the way she shuddered against him and arched her back. He took her offering, sucking that first sweet nipple between his lips. He tugged on it, pulling it between his teeth and biting down lightly.
Her moan went straight to his dick. She rubbed against him, her hips moving in time to the rhythm they created. He couldn’t help but match her, his pelvis grinding up against hers as he licked and bit and sucked her nipples. He traced her areola with the tip of his tongue before sucking her deep.
Her hands found his hair, fingertips running over his scalp and holding him to her. He growled and twisted, turning her onto his sleeping bag. He hadn’t meant to use it that night, had known he couldn’t sleep, but now he was happy it was here. He would take her under the stars, by the light of the fire.
He rolled her on her back and kissed his way down her torso. He let his hand drift down under the waistband of her pants, delving into her underwear. His body tightened further as his finger slid over her pussy. Wet and ripe, she was ready for him. He touched her, sliding over her eager clitoris and dipping inside her pussy.
He could smell her, the intoxicating scent of her arousal mingling with the woodsy fire. He dragged her pants down, taking the panties with them. He got to his knees, looking down at her and memorizing the sight. She was stunning, her beauty emblazoned on his brain. She lay back on the sleeping bag, her hair flowing around her, her skin glowing from the warm campfire light. Need was in her eyes. Need for him.
He took her ankles in his hands.
“Jax.” His name was a plea on her lips.
He spread her legs, making a place for himself between them. He leaned back over, laying kisses on her belly, working his way down. She would be so beautiful pregnant. He would do anything to be there, to take care of her, to hold her and protect her while they waited for their baby. “Yes?”
“Please come inside me.” Her legs moved restlessly around him, stroking against him.
“I will.” But not the way she thought. He couldn’t get enough of her. He would never get enough of her.
He spread her legs wide and put his nose in her pussy, inhaling her sweet scent.
“You kill me when you do that,” she said on a low moan.
He suckled her clit.
“Jax, let me up.”
He didn’t want to do that. He hadn’t even started yet. He thrust his tongue into her, fucking her gently.
“Jax,” she groaned, her hands in his hair, tugging lightly. “Babe, let me show you something. You are the best lover I’ve ever had, but you’ve only been doing this for a couple of days. Let me show you something. Let me teach you.”
That got him moving. Was he doing something wrong? He thought she liked it when he put his mouth on her.
She scrambled up, getting to her knees and wrapping herself around him. “I want to show you something. I want to show you how we can take care of each other at the same time. First I need you to take your pants off. I want you naked. I love your body, Jax.”
There was no deception in her eyes, no sympathy for his ruined flesh. All he could see in her was honest desire. It made his hands move to the fly of his pants, unhooking and pushing them off his hips. He kicked them off and toed out of the socks he was wearing so he stood in front of her completely naked. He towered over her, but it struck him that he was the supplicant. He might be taller, broader, physically stronger, but he needed her. He needed her to feel complete, to feel at home in a world he didn’t always understand.
She looked at his chest, her hands going straight for the largest of the scars. She smoothed her palms over them and then kissed each one, little butterfly wings on his flesh. Her head came up, eyes lighting with excitement. “I didn’t think about how much you don’t know or can’t remember. Jax, we can have so much fun with this. I’ve never been the one with more experience. I can show you things. Dirty things. Sexy things. Lay down.”
He wasn’t sure he liked being out of control, but it was obvious his dick couldn’t care less. His dick poked her in the belly.
She seemed to sense his hesitance and her eyes softened, hands on his waist. She rubbed against him. “Please. When we’re done, you can take me any way you like, but try this with me. I want to do everything with you. Sex wasn’t great until I met you. Let me share this.”
He couldn’t possibly deny her. He got down on the sleeping bag, laying himself out while she stood over him. It wasn’t something he would do for anyone else. He couldn’t make himself vulnerable to anyone except her. He looked up at her, taking in the sight of her body. She was his forest nymph.
He expected her to get on top of him, to take his cock, but instead she turned.
“Have you ever heard of a sixty-nine?” The question was asked in a husky tone.
His cock nearly went off then and there. Yep. He’d seen some porn. “Are you going to sit on my face, baby?”
“Sort of.” She straddl
ed him, giggling as she moved a bit awkwardly. “I’m sorry.”
He gripped her hips. Fuck, he loved this view. Her pussy was right there, and he could see the gorgeous globes of her ass. He ran his hands up and down her backside. “Don’t ever say you’re sorry for giving me this. This is the best present ever.” That was probably not the way to put that. “I mean except for your love, of course.”
Heart over pussy. That’s what Kay had taught him, though it was hard to remember that lesson because her pussy was right there.
He felt her whole body move with the force of her laughter. It was so good to hear her laugh, to know he’d brought her respite.
That was when she put her mouth on him, kissing his cock and taking the base in her hand.
He took a deep breath, his body lighting on fire as she licked at the head of his dick.
“See, this is fun, babe.” She hummed the words on his cock as she ran her tongue over his sensitive flesh.
He gripped her ass and gave back. He speared her with his tongue, diving deep into that body he loved so much. Pleasure swamped his senses. He could feel her mouth sucking at him, pulling his cock inside. Her teeth scraped lightly along his skin, making him shudder. He matched his pace to hers. She sucked him deep. He drilled his tongue inside her. She blew on his cockhead. He suckled her clit.
It was a contest, the best kind. Which one of them could bring the other the most joy. He was determined. He would win this one.
He brought his hand up, letting his thumb find her clit. He pressed down, rotating as he tongue fucked her.
She cupped his balls as she deep throated him. How she took him to the root he had no idea, but his eyes threatened to roll into the back of his head, his balls getting ready to shoot off.
That was not happening.
He twisted his thumb and his tongue was coated with her orgasm. Her body shook and she lost her rhythm, gasping and moaning against his dick.
It was his time to take over.
He flipped them over, taking care to keep her off the grass. He eased her over and got to his knees. There was the most sweetly satiated look on her face as she opened her arms to him.
The air was heavy again, filled with the knowledge that this was forever. No matter what happened, he would love this one woman. He would love her and want her the rest of his life.
He would never have met her had he not been taken. He had no idea what his life had been before, but it wouldn’t have included River. Perhaps the man he’d been wouldn’t have seen her value, gotten trapped by her unique beauty. All that mattered was the fact that he had her now. He loved her now. She was part of his soul.
“Come here,” she whispered. “I need you inside me. Always.”
He lowered himself down, mating his body to hers. He rubbed his cock along her soaked pussy, covering himself with her. He kissed her as he thrust up, connecting them.
This was what he’d needed. He stopped, holding himself up over her and letting her get used to his size. Her legs wound around him and he stared down at her. “I could stay like this forever.”
Her hands ran up his back, the look on her face as old as time. His seductress. “I think you should move, babe. Take me higher. You’re the only one who has ever been able to do this to me.” She squeezed her pussy around his cock. “Come inside me. You feel so good.”
She was the one who felt good. He couldn’t hold back an instant longer. He moved his hips, finding the rhythm they’d built before. Her legs were tight about him, forcing him to thrust up even harder. He could feel her nails in his back. He welcomed them. Those were marks he would be proud to bear. He worked over her, every thrust taking them both higher. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. They connected, their bodies and eyes and souls all meshing.
In the end, he couldn’t hold out. He couldn’t stay in that place forever, but he could give her something. She tightened around him. When she called out his name, he went over the edge with her.
The orgasm took over his whole body and she felt like the only thing real in the world. He clung to her, riding the wave. Nothing had ever felt as good as River’s body milking his cock. Her muscles held him tight until he had nothing left to give her and he collapsed.
Peace seemed to surround him as she ran her hands soothingly over him. She kissed his cheek and jaw and neck like she couldn’t stop herself.
“I owe Nell Flanders,” she said, her voice husky. “I’m making that lady some amazing vegan cookies.”
He would give up meat for her. “I’ll help. I owe her, too. God, I love you.” He kissed her again, rolling to the side and drawing her close. “And I owe your father for teaching you all about this place. I love it out here. I feel at home.”
Most of that was because she was here, but something inside him had changed the minute they’d landed in Colorado. Something had sparked inside him. He was comfortable here, like he’d found an old sweater he’d forgotten about, the one that warmed him best.
She laid her head on his chest. “Me, too. I love my cabin, but I always feel more centered out here. I wonder why I didn’t come here after he died.”
He knew. “You weren’t ready.”
“I wasn’t. It’s funny how now I can remember Dad without the pain. It’s there, but it’s not the whole of my emotions. I can remember how awesome it was to be his daughter.” She sniffled, and he tightened his arms around her. She could cry all she liked. He would hold her. “He took me out here all the time. He said this was my playground.”
She sat up all of the sudden, her eyes wide.
“What’s wrong?” He reached for her hand.
“Oh, Jax, I think I know where The Ranch is.”
Chapter Eighteen
River moved through the heavily wooded area, looking for landmarks. She knew most of them in this forest. They were everything from the ranger way station, where they stored emergency stashes of water and supplies, to certain trees. She always knew she was close to Creede when she got to the massive tree they called The Bear’s Scratching Post due to the deep gouges in its trunk. She knew she was coming out on the southern side of the forest when she found the pond on the edge of the Harper Stables. Of course, she always stopped when she saw the sun gleaming off that water because it could be dangerous to walk up to that pond if the person hiking didn’t want to see how well the Harper twins loved their wife, Rachel. Those three spent a lot of time naked in that pond. But that wasn’t what she was looking for today.
Where was it?
“You know the trees?” Jax asked the question carefully, as if he wasn’t sure she was being serious. Sometimes he had to figure out if people were joking, she’d discovered.
And sometimes he thought she was just plain crazy. It was okay. He wasn’t the first to look at her like she was weird when she walked up to trees and ran her hands over their trunks. She studied the tree. “They don’t allow any cutting in this part of the woods. These trees have been here for thirty or forty years. Somehow even when we have big fires, they seem to miss this place. I played here a lot as a kid.”
This part of the forest was familiar to her, though in a vague way. It wasn’t a part of the forest she would take clients to, not even small, well-trained groups. It was overgrown and there were no trails. Jax had been forced to use those muscles of his to move several major boulders that had fallen down the mountain. They were at the base of one of the mighty mountains here. They were at over eleven thousand feet at this point, and the mountain climbed another three thousand above them.
“You had an interesting childhood,” he said with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
He’d been quiet all morning. Not that he hadn’t been affectionate. He’d made love to her twice since her revelation. He’d held her hand when he could and when they stopped to rest, he would pull her onto his lap and kiss her senseless. But there was no denying her lover had something on his mind.
Probably the fact that if they were successful, he would have to leave
.
“I had the best childhood.” It was easier to look back now and smile. It was as if a veil had been lifted and she could see past her grief and anger to the reality. Her father was more than those last few terrible months. She was satisfied now. Satisfied that she’d done right by him, that her pain had been in service to their connection.
Love wasn’t safety and sex and fun. Love was about the work put into a relationship. It was about the risks one took, and one of those risks was always death. Hell, it wasn’t a risk. In the end it was a certainty. She would lose him one day. Even if they had fifty years together, death was inevitable, and the fact that they’d had a life together wouldn’t make it easier.
They would be torn apart. Whether it was by the danger to him now or death or some random act no one saw coming. They would not get out of this life together, and there was no guarantee of some magical place that would reunite them.
And yet she believed. There was the certainty of pain, and yet she was going to love that man because it was what she’d been born to do.
“I like hearing your stories,” he said, clearing the way.
“It’s been a long time since I liked telling them. It feels good to talk about my dad.” She stopped, hearing something moving to her left.
Jax went perfectly still and suddenly there was a semiautomatic in his hand.
It was a reminder that this was no fun hike. She was silent for a moment and watched as a bunny hopped out of a bush, looking up at them as though surprised and then bounding away.
She breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s okay. There’s a lot of wildlife out here. I haven’t seen anything that makes me believe that people have been through here in the last couple of days.”
“You can tell?” His shoulders were still stiff, a sure indication he was on his guard.
She nodded. “Oh, yes. People leave lots of signs. If someone wanted to follow us in here, they could. We’ve been careful. We’ve picked up all our trash, but there are always traces left behind.”
“I haven’t heard anything out of the ordinary,” he said. “I doubt Levi Green would trudge through the woods. He wouldn’t mess up his expensive loafers.”
