Mail Order Farmer

by Marie Johnston

  “Is this an intervention?” Because what could they do? Tell him to get over the love of his life?

  Not gonna happen.

  “Sort of,” Dad said. “Dillon and I have been talking…”

  Awesome.

  Dillon filled in. “It seems that from your story of Dalisay leaving, you feel like you can’t go and be with her.”

  Aaron’s eyes widened. His expression had to say you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. “Uh, no. I have a job.” He swept his arm out, frustration and anger fueling words he’d probably regret. “Mom sure isn’t raising the boys. Someone’s got to. Someone has to be the backup so you all can live your tidy little lives.”

  Since he was the last one to settle down and still couldn’t find someone to tolerate his apparently shitty existence.

  A sharp inhale from Mom spurred a thread of guilt. He quashed it. Someone had to say it.

  “Your father and I have been talking…” Mom said.

  Was this going to turn out as fabulous as Dillon and Dad discussing his life?

  She brushed her hair out of her face and clasped her hands on her lap. What she was going to say bothered her. “I…need to go back on my depression meds.”

  “Depression?” He’d never heard her speak of suffering from depression.

  She nodded. “I don’t like to talk about it, but after the boys were born, I started having problems. I’d been off them for a while before we sold the farm and house, but”—she glanced at Dad—“I think the change unbalanced everything.”

  Aaron swallowed past a lump in his throat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

  “I know you’re going to want to blame yourself, but this has nothing to do with you, Aaron.” Her tone was firm, so much like the mom he knew.

  Dad adjusted his hat. “What we’re trying to say is that you need to go and be with Dalisay and we’ll take care of everything.”

  Aaron stared at him. It was like someone holding a piece of carrot cake in front of him after he’d been fasting for a month. So promising, but in reality, it’d make him sick. Dad could make all the offers he wanted, but backing them up was the only part that counted.

  And more guilt haunted Aaron. “But you’re retired. You shouldn’t have to dive back into a full planting season when you’re supposed to be enjoying your days.”

  Dad’s expression turned troubled and he glanced at Dillon. Dillon nodded.

  What had those two talked about?

  “I wasn’t ready to retire when we sold the farm. But Dillon’s dad was sick, and it was such a solid plan, a good one to get you boys started.” Dad lifted a shoulder. “I gave in. I didn’t expect…to not know how to do anything else but farm.”

  All the times Dad had offered to help him ran through Aaron’s head. Aaron had thought he’d been the one helping Dad out, but he’d only been adding more work to his plate and adding to Dad’s misery.

  Jackson cleared his throat. “Nicolas and I can help out more. I’ll be home all summer.”

  “And I’ll be around all next year,” Nicolas said.

  Aaron looked to each of his cousins. Did he dare get his hopes up?

  Cash spoke. “You’d do this for all of us. We can do it for you.”

  “But getting Dalisay back could take months.” He could at least fly out and see her. It wouldn’t be enough, but he could plead his case.

  “Then stay for months,” Brock said.

  Aaron gazed at all of them. Stay for months. Months. It couldn’t be possible. “She doesn’t even want me to call her anymore.”

  “She’s gotta be having the same regrets,” Travis said. “It was clear how crazy she was over you. You two have been together for what, six months? And you broke it off and cancelled the wedding in like two minutes. Go get closure at the very least.”

  Dillon nodded. “But if she sees that you’re able to leave the farm, she might not feel like marrying you is a prison sentence. No offense.”

  Aaron dropped his gaze. His cousins sympathized with her. How awful would it be for her to spend her life with him?

  “Dude, I can see your brain working,” Cash said. “You work too much. That’s all. We’re not saying she has to be convinced that life with you out here wouldn’t be hell frozen over.” He grinned. “Well, six months out of the year it is, but we’ll get her a four-wheel drive.”

  Aaron shoved his hands in his pockets. “So I go over there. I win her back and she moves here. Then what? I’ll still farm. I’ll still be me.”

  Cash shrugged. “Then you’ll have to learn how to say no and ask for help. And we’ll watch out for you.”

  Mom wrung her hands together. “And we’ll move out.”

  Aaron shook his head. “No. You two are happier out here. I don’t think your presence is a deal breaker.”

  It’d be easier for Dad to help if he lived out here, too.

  “Well, talk to her first,” Mom said. “If we’re an issue, we’ll move. We don’t want to get in the way of your happiness.”

  Aaron nodded. With their support he could do it. He should’ve done it without their support. Another trip to the Philippines. Should he call first?

  Seriously. Was he thinking about doing this?

  Yes. He missed the morning flight out, but it wasn’t too late for the afternoon one. Or his cousins could live up to their promise to help and drive him to the cities to catch a flight.

  The groundwork for the plan had been laid by his family. The rest bloomed in his mind. He’d fly to Solano, seek out Peejong, and track Daisy down from there.

  ***

  “Ina! Let me do that.” Dalisay rushed into the comfort room at Peejong’s.

  “I can stand up on my own,” Ina huffed.

  “Yes, but if you fall again you won’t be able to get yourself back up.” Dalisay yanked up Ina’s pants.

  “Is Sally here?” Ina muttered.

  “No, she ran to Solano with the boys. Peejong has a load to sell at the market.”

  Relief flitted across Ina’s face. Both of her arms were in casts. Her left wrist was a clean break and in a normal cast. Her right wrist, which was her dominant hand, had required surgery with pins and screws. They had another checkup in Solano next week, but for now, Ina was supposed to rest.

  Dalisay suppressed a sigh. If only Ina was back on the pain meds, she might rest. Instead, Dalisay ran after her as Ina tried to be useful. One trip and fall, and her mother would face-plant and be unable to get herself up. She could rebreak her bones or bust some new ones.

  “Then I’ll take a walk.” Ina shook her hips to adjust her clothing as much as she could. “I don’t need her running after me with another lecture.” She strode out of the bathroom, her back straight and her head high.

  Dalisay pushed her hair off her face and treaded after her. Ina looked more put together than she did. Taking care of her mother would be nothing, but Aunt Sally kept her running ragged. They didn’t pay rent, but Dalisay was paying in sweat.

  Peejong had asked her about Michael the other day. Barely two weeks since she’d broken off her engagement—as Peejong pointed out, her second engagement. Aunt Sally had chided Peejong, but the delay wouldn’t last long. They wanted to see her married and happy and have her close by because as much as they frustrated her, they loved her. And she loved them.

  And she’d missed them.

  Not as much as—

  She doubled down her attention on her mother. Thinking of Aaron would only encourage more crying. She saved that for the dead of night when everyone was sleeping. In the tiny room she shared with Ina, she could turn her back to the world and let the tears flow.

  Ina chose her footsteps carefully. Her gait was slow. She tired easily, but it was so soon after the injury. Her walks weren’t long or far, but they dulled her restless edge.

  “You have not heard from him lately?” Ina asked.

  Dalisay’s world dimmed despite the full sun. She’d told Ina the story, then had repeated it when Ina’s thoughts w
ere clearer. Beyond that, Ina hadn’t pried.

  “I asked him to quit contacting me.” It was too hard.

  “If I had not fallen, you would be married by now.” Matter-of-fact. But Ina’s guilt was there.

  “Your emergency only highlighted major issues between us.”

  “But you two would have worked through them.”

  “At what cost? How often would I have gotten to fly back and see you? And…what would I have done with my life?”

  “Have kids?”

  Dalisay also didn’t miss the hopefulness in Ina’s voice. “We both wanted them, but I…”

  “Wanted more than motherhood.” Now that was said like she knew how it felt.

  “Yes. I was only with him for two months, but it was the longest time of my life, Ina. I loved spending every second with him, but when he wasn’t around, and it was often, there was nothing for me. Is that selfish?”

  “I’m too young to think so.” Ina smiled. Her eyes twinkled with mirth, the first sign that Ina’s spirit hadn’t been destroyed. “I was just like you when I married your father. Only my parents weren’t. They were very old-fashioned.”

  Dalisay wanted to give Ina a giant hug, but it’d hurt her arms. “It wasn’t that he forced me to be that way, it just was. Maybe we could’ve changed it, but when I had to leave before getting married, it showed me… He’s married to the farm more than he’d be married to me.” The dam burst, and all her thoughts and concerns spilled out. The complete relief of being able to talk to her mom—in person—fueled her. “Do I want to take every flight home alone because he can’t leave Moore? Do I want to go years in between seeing you and Peejong?” She swept her hand toward the house. “What about the boys? Living in Manila, I got to still see them once or twice a year. In Moore, it’d all be online.”

  “And Aaron’s family? Don’t you feel the same about them?”

  Dalisay shrugged. Did she? “Maybe a little. Jackson’s graduating this year. Ina, he’s so smart and considerate. I think Nicolas is more like Aaron was when he was younger. And Jackson has this big dance coming up. He showed me his date’s dress. It’s gorgeous—”

  She frowned. Had she grown closer to the Walkers than she thought?

  Had she been too wrapped up in her insecurities to see how comfortable she was there?

  Ina huffed out a breath. “My back is getting sore. I need to return.”

  They shuffled back. Before the house came into view between the palm trees, an engine rattled in the distance.

  Ina sucked on her teeth. “Is that them already? I was hoping for more sanity time.”

  Dalisay giggled. “It’s not bad here. We get our own room.”

  Ina quirked a brow. “Not bad for visiting. But do you want to room with me for the rest of my life?”

  “It won’t be so bad when we’re out in the field all day,” Dalisay joked.

  Ina snorted. If they could make light of their situation like this it wouldn’t be bad, for long.

  Ina grew serious. “Why’d you really break up with him? Why not wait and reapply for the visa?”

  Dalisay had given Ina several reasons why. They all seemed reasonable. But like Ina had noticed, none of them were true barriers. Obstacles, yes. Insurmountable? No.

  “He’s worked so hard for everyone else, was it really fair to make him wait months to years longer? I want a career. He wants kids. I want kids, too, but I’m only twenty-three. He’s almost thirty.”

  His birthday was at the end of May. How would he celebrate? Would he finally meet someone? Melancholy settled over her. She’d have to find a way to keep her mind busy that day.

  “Add to all that the extra time to get me back to the States, and it wasn’t fair to him.”

  Ina nodded. Not in the way that said I absolutely agree with you, but slower, like she could see where Dalisay was coming from, but didn’t agree.

  The rectangular house came into view. All was quiet. Perhaps Peejong had to drop supplies and head back out. He was being so generous. She should feel guilty for not wanting him around. The solitude was a balm for her at times. Other times, it was a special form of torture.

  “You think I made a mistake,” Dalisay said as they rounded the path.

  “I don’t know that there’s any right or wrong in this situation.”

  Dalisay glanced at Ina’s stoic features. “But?”

  “They say, ‘follow your heart.’ Except, in this case, I think your heart looked to your head for a reason why it was hurting, and you interpreted it as a failure in the relationship.”

  “I don’t know, Ina. It’s too late, regardless. He’s quit calling.” Because I asked him to.

  Ina sucked in a breath. Dalisay glanced up and stopped, her hand flying to her chest. Her heart thudded once, twice. Ina looked at her, then back at the house, her eyes wide.

  Aaron stood in the doorway. He’d been squinting around the yard, as if wondering where everyone was at. But when he met Dalisay’s gaze, he took his cap off and clenched it in his fists. His hair remained flattened, like he hadn’t removed the cap for days, but with the April heat kicking up, hat head could happen within minutes.

  Why was she noticing something so silly? Her dream man stood on her doorstep.

  “Aaron?” Duh. Of course it was him. But why was he here?

  Did she care? She tore away from Ina and sprinted toward Aaron. He was here! In a remote farm in the Philippines, thousands of miles away from home.

  She refused to believe he’d flown all the way here to get the last word in.

  Her only fear as she flew toward him was that he was a hallucination, that she missed him so hard her mind conjured his image.

  Real or not, he opened his arms for her. A strangled sound left her throat as she plowed into him.

  Strong arms closed around her in an all-too-familiar embrace. She smashed her face against his chest and cried. “I’m so sorry.”

  “My flower.” His hold tightened, his head resting on top of hers. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I have a lot of apologizing to do.”

  She pulled back. His shirt was already covered in drops of wetness from her tears. “Why? I was impulsive and irrational.”

  His small smile crinkled his eyes. He peeled his gaze off her as if it was the last thing he wanted to do, but when he saw Ina, his brows popped. “How are you doing?”

  As he crossed to Ina, Dalisay got tucked into his side. This. It was like his body was made to shelter her.

  Ina waved him off and switched to English for him. “Fine. You two talk. I must nap.”

  “I’ll help,” Dalisay said.

  “Pssht. I can lay myself down.” Ina’s stern gaze oscillated between the two of them. Before she passed them, she stopped. “Are you staying for a while?”

  Aaron’s expression turned solemn. “As long as I need to.”

  Dalisay’s heart jumped. He hadn’t lasted a week last time and like he’d said, it was his busy season. “But how…? The farm?”

  His grin was easy and slightly abashed. “Turns out, Dad never wanted to retire, so he doesn’t mind taking over, even if it means months. I hope it means months.”

  His dad might back out? Wait, Aaron was looking to her for confirmation.

  Dalisay caught her slack jaw. “You’re going to stay here for months?”

  Ina’s attention was as riveted as hers. The nap must not have been urgent.

  “I’ll stay as long as I need to if you still want to marry me. If you still want to move to America, to a small town, with a farmer.” He swallowed. “But I understand if you want to stay here. Then I’ll beg to stay with you. Because, Daisy, I love you too much to give up.”

  Her breath caught. “But I gave up.”

  “No.” He stepped closer and brushed her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “You showed me how selfish I was being. You were making a huge sacrifice and I was coasting along like I always do. The guys—my cousins—said they’ll make sure I start asking for help an
d quit working so much. And they’ll get you a four-wheel drive vehicle.”

  Her eyes drifted shut as she leaned into his touch. The memories haunted her dreams. “You’re anything but selfish. I love you, Aaron. And if you’re staying here, I think we have plenty of time to plan how we’re going to make this work.”

  His grin stole the air from her lungs. He dropped to one knee, not making a sound on the spongy ground, and presented her with the ring she’d returned. “Dalisay Calamba Cortez, will you do me the honor of marrying me here, in front of all your family, then again in front of all of mine?”

  Her hands flew to her mouth. It was the perfect proposal, on so many levels. It was Aaron. He still wanted to marry her. She’d get to celebrate with her relatives—and Ina. And he’d share the moment again with his relatives.

  This man was far from selfish. His generosity was a trait that only made her love him more, and she’d spend the rest of her life proving that to him.

  Epilogue

  Fifteen months later…

  Dalisay grinned at Aaron as he handed her a container with a sandwich and apple slices, and a water bottle. She slid them into her backpack and shouldered it.

  “I’m about to burst with pride,” he said. His blue eyes twinkled, and he didn’t quit smiling.

  So she wasn’t alone. It’d been a long road, but here they were at their house in Moore. She was going to her first day of paramedic school. After a lot of research and soul-searching, the decision had been surprisingly easy. Maybe nursing school was still in her future, but the excitement of field medicine couldn’t be ignored, neither could the convenience of the location of the program at MCC.

  Aaron walked her out of the house. They’d been back in America for almost nine months. After they’d arrived, they’d filed the paperwork for moving Ina over. She had arrived a few months after them and lived in the spare room Aaron had used before they were married.

  Aaron’s parents still lived in the basement. Dalisay liked having them around, especially since Lori had made huge gains in her mental health. She smiled easier, and she even emerged from the basement every day. A year ago, she’d started her own small interior design business, growing it slowly. It’s more of a hobby, she’d say, but Dalisay thought it was an important step in her treatment.