MA05 Myth-ing Persons

by Robert Asprin

  “Itching for action?” Aahz grinned.

  “No. More like eager to get off the street,” she said. “Since you boys have shown your true colors, we’re starting to draw a crowd.”

  Sure enough, the vampires on the street had ceased whatever they had been doing before and were gathering in knots, whispering together and pointing at our group.

  “Umm ... we’d better finish this fast,” Aahz said, shooting a nervous glance around. “All right, gang. Let’s go for the gusto!”

  “Go for the what?” I asked, but they were already on their way into the building.

  I noticed they were all moving faster than normal. I also noticed that Massha, Pepe, and I were the only ones left on the street ... and now the crowd was pointing at us!

  “WHAT’S GOING ON?”

  I looked around to find that one of the vampires had detached himself from his group of friends and was addressing me directly.

  “Beats me,” Massha interceded. “A bunch of off-worlder types just took off into that building with blood in their eyes. I’m waiting to see what happens next.”

  “Far out,” the vampire breathed, peering toward the structure.

  “I haven’t seen that many off-worlders in one place except in the flickers. Wasn’t one of them that escaped murderer, Aahz?”

  I really didn’t want this character to join our little group. While our disguises seemed to be holding up under casual inspection, I was pretty sure that prolonged close scrutiny would reveal not only the non-local nature of Massha and myself, but also the fact that we were trying to hide it.

  “You may be right,” I said, playing a hunch. “If so, it’s a good thing you happened along. We’re going to need all the help we can get.”

  “Help? Help for what?”

  “Why to catch the murderer, of course. We can’t let him get away again. I figure it’s our duty to stop him ourselves or at least slow him up until the authorities arrive.

  “We? You mean the three of you? You’re going to try to stop a murderer all by yourselves?”

  “Four of us now that you’re here.”

  The vampire started backing away.

  “Ummm ... actually I’ve got to get back to my friends. We’re on our way to a party. Sorry I can’t help, but I’ll spread the word that you’re looking for volunteers, okay?”

  “Hey, thanks,” I called as if I believed him. “We’ll be right here.”

  By the time I had finished speaking, he had disappeared into the crowd. Mission accomplished.

  “Nicely done, my friend,” Pepe murmured. “He does not, how you say, want to get involved, no?”

  “That’s right,” I said, my eyes on the building again. “And to tell you the truth, I’m not too wild about the idea either. What do you think, Massha? It’s awfully quiet in there.”

  “I’ll say,” my apprentice agreed. “I’m just trying to figure out if that’s a good or a bad sign. Another ten minutes and I’m heading in there to check it out myself.”

  I nodded my consent, even though I doubted she saw it. We both had our eyes glued to the building, memorizing its every detail.

  It was a four-story structure ... or it would be if it weren’t for the curved peak that jutted out from the roof fully half-again as high as the main building. It looked as if the builder had suddenly added the adornment in a last-minute attempt to have his work stand as tall as or taller than its neighbors. From the number of windows in the main structure, I guessed it was an apartment building or a hotel or something. In short, it looked like it had a lot of little rooms. I found myself wondering exactly how our strike force was supposed to locate their target without kicking in every door in the place ... a possibility I wouldn’t put past Aahz.

  I was about to express this fear to Massha when a loud crash sounded from within.

  “What was that?” I demanded of no one in particular. “Sounded like a loud crash,” my apprentice supplied helpfully.

  I forced myself to remember that no one out here knew any more about what was going on inside than I did.

  After the crash, everything was quiet once more. I tried to tell myself that the noise might have nothing at all to do with the strike force, but I didn’t believe it for a minute. The crowd was talking excitedly to each other and straining to see the various windows. They seemed quite confident that something else would happen soon, much more than I, but then again, maybe as city dwellers they were more accustomed to such vigils than I.

  Suddenly, Tananda appeared in the doorway.

  “Did they come out this way?” she called.

  “No one’s been in or out since you went in,” I responded.

  She swore and started to re-enter the building.

  “What happened?” I shouted desperately.

  “We nailed one of them, but Vic got away. He’s loose in the building somewhere, and he’s got the girl with him.”

  With that, she disappeared before I could make any further inquiries.

  Terrific.

  “Exciting, eh?” Pepe said. “I tell you, I could watch such a chase for hours.”

  “Well, I can’t,” I snapped. “I’ve had it with sitting on the sidelines. Massha? I’m going in there. Want to come?”

  “I dunno, Hot Stuff. I’d like to, but somebody should be here to plug this escape route.”

  “Fine. You wait here, and I’ll ...”

  I turned to enter the building and bumped headlong into Vilhelm.

  “What are you doing here?” I demanded, not really caring.

  The Dispatcher shook his head slightly to clear it. Being smaller, he had gotten the worse of our collision.

  “I’m here with the witnesses, remember? I was supposed to bring them.”

  “You were supposed to send them. Oh well, where are they?”

  “Right here,” he said, gesturing to a sullen group of vampires standing behind him. “This is Kirby, and Paul, and Richard, and Adele, and Scott ... some of the most respected citizens in town. Convince them and you’re home free.”

  Looking at the group, I suddenly realized how Aahz had ended up on death row. If the jury had been anything like these specimens, they would have hung their own mothers for jaywalking. While I didn’t relish the thought of trying to convince them of anything, I found myself being very glad I didn’t have to deal with them on a regular basis.

  “Okay. So we’re here,” the one identified as Kirby growled.

  “Just what is it we’re supposed to be witnessing? If this is one of your cockamamie deals, Vilhelm ...”

  I interrupted simply by taking my sunglasses off and opening my eyes wide, displaying their whites. The bad reputation of humans in this dimension was sufficient to capture their undivided attention.

  “Perhaps you recall a certain murder trial that took place not too long ago?” I said, trying to work the tooth black off with my tongue. “Well, the convicted murderer who escaped is my partner, and right now he’s inside that building. He and a few of our friends are about to show you one surprisingly lively corpse ... specifically the fellow that my partner is supposed to have killed. I trust that will be sufficient to convince you of his innocence?”

  While the vampires were taken aback by my presence in their midst, they recovered quickly. Like I said, they were real hard cases and didn’t stay impressed very long.

  “So how much time is this going to take?” Kirby said impatiently. “I’m giving up my sleep for this, and I don’t get much of it.”

  That was a good question, so, not having an answer, I stalled.

  “You sleep nights? I thought ...”

  “I’m a day owl,” the vampire waved. “It’s easier to get my work done when the phone isn’t ringing every five minutes ... which usually means waiting until everyone else is asleep. But we’re getting off the subject. The bottom l
ine is that my time is valuable, and the same holds true for my colleagues. If you think we’re going to just stand around here until ...”

  There was a sudden outcry from the crowd, and we all looked to find them talking excitedly and pointing up at the roof.

  A figure had emerged, fighting to pick his way across the steeply sloped surface while dragging a struggling girl by one arm.

  Vic!

  This was the first time I had gotten a clear look at my foe, and I was moderately surprised. He was younger than I had expected, barely older than myself, and instead of a menacing cloak, he was sporting a white turtleneck and sunglasses. It suddenly occurred to me that if sunglasses enabled me to pass for a vampire, that they would also let a vampire pass undetected among humans.

  The vampire suddenly stopped as his path was barred by Tananda, who appeared as if by magic over the edge of the roof. He turned to retrace his steps, only to find that the trio of Aahz, Guido, and Chumley had emerged behind him, cutting off his retreat.

  “I believe, gentlemen and lady, that up there is the elusive body that started this whole thing,” I heard myself saying. “If you can spare a few more moments, I think my colleagues will have him in custody so that you might interrogate him at your leisure.”

  “Don’t be too sure of that, High Roller,” Massha cautioned. “Look!”

  His chosen routes of escape cut off; Vic was now scrabbling up the roof peak itself, Luanna hanging in his grip. While I had to admire his strength, I was at a loss to understand what he was trying to accomplish with the maneuver. It was obvious that he had been exposed, so why didn’t he just give it up?

  The answer became apparent in the next few moments. Reaching the apex of the roof, the vampire underwent a chilling metamorphosis. Before the strike force could reach him, he hunched forward and huge batwings began to grow and spread from his back. His plans gone awry, he was getting ready to escape.

  In immediate response to his efforts, Tananda and Guido both produced projectile weapons and shouted something to him. Though the distance was too great to make out the words clearly, it was obvious to me that they were threatening to shoot him down if he tried to take to the air.

  “We may have a murder case yet,” Kirby murmured, squinting to watch the rooftop drama unfold.

  “Murder?” I exclaimed, turning on him. “How can you call it murder if they’re only trying to keep from escaping your justice?”

  “That wasn’t what I meant,” the vampire said, never taking his eyes from the action. “Check it out.”

  I looked ... and my heart stood still.

  Aahz had been trying to ease up the roof peak closer to Vic and his hostage. Vic must have seen him, because he was now holding Luanna out over the drop as he pointed an angry finger at my partner. The threat was unmistakable.

  “You know, eet is people like zat who give ze vampires a bad name, eh?” Pepe said, nudging me.

  I ignored him, lost in my own anxiety and frustration at the stalemated situation.

  A noticeably harder jab from Massha broke my reverie, however.

  “Hey, Hot Stuff. Do you see what I see?”

  I tore my gaze away from the confrontation and shot a glance her way.

  She was standing motionless, her brow furrowed with concentration and her eyes closed.

  It took me a few moments to realize what she was doing, then I followed suit, scarcely daring to hope.

  There it was! A force line! A big, strong, beautiful, glorious force line.

  I had gotten so used to not having any magical energy at my disposal in this dimension that I hadn’t even bothered to check!

  I opened myself to the energy, relished it for a fleet moment, and then rechanneled it.

  “Excuse me,” I said with a smile, handing my sunglasses to Kirby. “It’s about time I took a hand in this directly.”

  With that, I reached out with my mind, pushed off against the ground, and soared upward, setting a course for the cornered vampire on the roof.

  I HAD HOPED to make my approach unobserved, but as I flew upward, the crowd below let out a roar that drew the attention of the combatants on the roof. Terrific! When I wanted unobtrusive, I got notoriety.

  Reaching a height level with that of the vampire, I hovered at a discreet distance.

  “Put away the nasties,” I called to Tananda and Guido. “He’s not getting away by air.”

  They looked a bit rebellious, but followed the order.

  “What’s with the Peter Pan bit, partner?” Aahz shouted. “Are you feeling your Cheerioats, or did you finally find a force line?”

  “Both.” I waved back, and then turned my attention to Vic.

  Though his eyes were obscured by his sunglasses, I could feel his hateful glare burning into me to the bone.

  “Why don’t you just call it quits?” I said in what I hoped was a calm, soothing tone. “It’s over. We’ve got you outflanked.”

  For a moment he seemed to waiver with indecision.

  Then, without warning, he threw Luanna at Aahz. “Why can’t you all just leave me alone!” he screamed, and dove off the roof.

  Aahz somehow managed to snag the girl’s hurtling form, though in the process he lost his balance and tumbled backward down the roof peak, cushioning the impact with his own body.

  I hesitated, torn between the impulse to check on Luanna’s welfare and the desire to pursue Vic.

  “Go get him!” my partner called. “We’re fine!”

  That was all the encouragement I needed. Wheeling to my right, I plunged after the fleeing vampire.

  What followed was one of the more interesting experiences of my limited magical career. As I mentioned before, my form of flying magically isn’t really flying ... it’s controlled levitation of oneself. This made enthusiastic pursuit a real challenge to my abilities. To counterbalance the problem, however, Vic couldn’t really fly either ... at least he never seemed to flap his wings. Instead, he appeared content to soar and bank and catch an occasional updraft. This forced him to continually circle and double back through roughly the same area time and time again. This suited me fine, as I didn’t want to wander too far away from my energizing force line now that I had found it. The idea of running out of power while suspended fifty feet in the air did not appeal to me at all.

  Anyway, our aerial duel rapidly became a curious matching of styles with Vic’s swooping and circling in his efforts to escape and my vertical and horizontal maneuverings to try to intercept him. Needless to say, the conflict was not resolved quickly. As soon as I would time a move that came close enough to an interception to justify attempting it again, Vic would realize his danger and alter his pattern, leaving me to try to puzzle out his new course.

  The crowd loved it.

  They whooped and hollered, their words of encouragement alternately loud and faint as we changed altitude.

  It was impossible to tell which of us they were cheering for, though for a while I thought it was me, considering the approval they had expressed when I first took off to join the battle. Then I noticed that the crowd was considerably larger than it had been when I entered the fray, and I realized that many of them had not been around to witness the beginning of the conflict. To them, it probably appeared that a monster from another dimension was chasing one of their fellow beings through the sky.

  That thought was disquieting enough that I spared some of my attention to scan the surrounding rooftops on the off-chance that a local sniper might be preparing to help his fellow countryman. It turned out to be the wisest decision I had made.

  As I was looking over my shoulder, I plowed full force into Vic, who had doubled back on his own path. The feint would have probably worked if I had seen it, but as it was we collided at maximum speed, the impact momentarily stunning us both. I managed to grab a double handful of the vampire’s turtleneck as we fell
about ten feet before I adjusted my levitation strength to support us both.

  “What’s the matter with you!” I demanded, trying to shake him, which succeeded only in moving us both back and forth in the air. “Running away won’t help.”

  Then I realized he was crying.

  Somehow, this struck me as immensely unfair. I mean, how are you supposed to stay mad at a villain that cries? Okay. So I’m a soft tough. But the crying really did make a difference.

  “I can’t fight you all!” he sobbed, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Maybe if I knew some magic I could take one of you with me ... but at least you’re going to have to work for your kill!”

  With that he tore loose from my grasp and swooped away.

  His words stunned me so much I almost let him escape. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to call out to him.

  “Hey, dummy! Nobody’s trying to kill you!”

  “Yeah, sure,” he shouted back. “You’re up here just for the fun of it.”

  He was starting to bank toward the street, and I knew I’d only have time for one more try.

  “Look! Will you stop running if I quit chasing you? I think there’s a major misunderstanding here.”

  He glanced back over his shoulder and saw that I was still where I was when we collided. Altering his course slightly, he flared his wings and landed on a carved gargoyle ornament jutting out from the side of the building.

  “Why should you want to talk?” he called, wiping his face with one hand. “I thought nothing I could say would change your mind.”

  “You’d be surprised,” I shouted back. “Say, do you mind if I land on that ledge near you? I feel pretty silly just hanging here.”

  He glanced at the indicated ledge, and I could see his wings flex nervously.

  “C’mon,” I urged. “I’ll be further away from you there than I was when we started this chase back on the roof. You’ll still have a clean shot at getting away if I try anything.”

  He hesitated, and then nodded his consent.

  Moving slowly so as not to alarm him, I maneuvered my way to my new perch. Truth to tell, I was glad to get something solid under my feet again. Even using magic, flying can take a lot out of you, and I was relieved to get a chance to rest. Now that I was closer, I could see that Vic was breathing heavily himself. Apparently his form of flying was no picnic either.