He paused when the waiter brought their salads, and he watched Tori as she thanked the waiter with a smile. It was a great smile. He wanted more of it. A second later, and there it was, directed at him, a look of excitement shone from her eyes. “I missed lunch today, and I’m so hungry that I think this salad looks better than it really is.”
She dug into her salad with gusto, and he felt himself just wanting to watch, forgetting all about what he was saying. Before it could get creepy, she looked up and smiled again, chewing her salad. He could see the movement of her slender neck as she swallowed, his body copying it. A moment later she said with a smirk, “Please, continue. My curiosity peaked after you said man-whore.”
TORI watched Jason, just as he watched her. His eyes twinkled with amusement as he kept his gaze firm on hers. He was wearing a charcoal sweater with a high collar and zipper on the neck. It was unzipped, showing off his thick, tan neck, which met up with crisp white V-neck shirt. The obvious color contrast brought out the definition of his jawline and beard.
Oh, dear God, that beard, she thought as she remembered how soft it felt against her face the other day. She quickly shoved another mouthful of salad in her mouth, forcing down her distraction. He once again leaned on the table as he had done before their salads were delivered, and she continued to eat, giving him the opportunity to talk more.
“I guess the only answer I have for ‘why I am still single’ is it’s what I’ve chosen. I’m not someone who settles for something out of fear of being alone. I’ve been patiently waiting for the one,” he said before placing the napkin in his lap and eating some of his salad.
That answer was perfect. It might have been practiced, a move in an arsenal he was waiting to unleash on her. But something told her that this guy, this man in front of her, didn’t need moves to get a woman. He used his ability to be frank to his advantage, and she was panting like a puppy. Albeit a very-hungry-starved-for-affection-possibly-too-horny-puppy. Giving herself a mental shake, she looked down to her food and willed her body into submission. When she chanced a glance at him, she lost the hope that he couldn’t see her body’s response to him. She’d never felt like such an amateur around a guy, acting like a girl on her first date ever. But then again, it was the first time she’d ever received such apt attention from a man who overwhelmed her senses. Jason’s eyebrows rose, and a smirk appeared. Yeah, she was certain her body was broadcasting its reactions.
“So, did I answer your question well enough?” he asked as he lifted his napkin to his mouth.
She did the same before placing it back in her lap. “I’d say so. No information missing there,” she said with a bit of humor.
“Good,” he said with satisfaction. “So, how about you, Tori? Why are you currently single? I mean, it’s obvious that you weren’t all that long ago.”
She sighed. Did she want to be honest with him right from the start? Of course she did, but not at the risk of him tucking tail and running the other direction. Were the details too much for a first date? Since it was all uncharted territory for her, she really didn’t know, but she wished she would’ve taken the time to ask Tessa. Although Tessa would’ve told her to let it all hang out, literally.
Then she realized it was good advice. Why should she waste time avoiding details of her life in hopes that someone could accept it later? It was best to be frank, just like Jason.
She took a sip of her iced tea then sat back in her chair, dropping her hands to her lap, clasped in an attempt to quell the emotions of disappointment she felt in herself whenever she shared her fallacy of a marriage. It was something she regretted with all of her heart, but would never change for anything. It gave her Lexi, and she knew she would walk through the fires of hell for her daughter. In some ways, she already had.
Tori was certain Jason would want the information and not tolerate being disrespected with bullshit excuses or half-truths. Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders as she prepared to expose her shame. “Do you want the condensed version? Or would you prefer to have the whole story now, so you can decide if it’s … if I’m worth it?”
Jason once again sat forward, leaning comfortably on the table, his salad completely forgotten. It was as if he was assessing if she was for real. “I’ll take whichever version you want to give me, Tori. You can start with the condensed one and progress to the full version at another time. Because understand this, there will be another time. I don’t need a piece of your history to figure out if you are worth it.”
Warmth exploded in her chest, and she could feel the lump forming in her throat. She tilted her head and, with a slight shake to express her astonishment at his response, she said, “You really mean that, don’t you? I barely know you, but I feel it in every bone of my body that you wouldn’t judge me by my story.” A sense of relief stole over her as she absorbed her own words. She felt her guard shift and lower, just a little.
With his eyebrows raised—a look she was quickly identifying as his you-better-hear-my-words-and-hear-them-good expression—he said, “Everyone has a story. Everyone has a past. It doesn’t define us; it’s what makes us who we are. What kind of man would I be if I passed judgment like that? I wouldn’t be someone I’d like very much, that’s for sure. Like you said, we barely know each other, but from what I’ve seen … whatever you hold in your past didn’t destroy you. Which can only mean it made you stronger.”
Was he for real? Where the hell had this man been hiding, and how had she been fortunate enough to warrant his attention?
He shrugged but didn’t have a chance to continue since the waiter picked that moment to show up with their food. Once he had made sure they had everything they needed and excused himself, Jason’s hand reached across the table in search of hers, catching her attention a second before he made contact. Looking in his eyes, she was taken aback by the warmth radiating from them. He gently gripped her hand, allowing his thumb to stroke the skin across her knuckles.
“Based on your apprehension, I can only assume that your story is one that deserves my undivided attention and some privacy. So, how about we enjoy our dinner without any heavy conversation. Then afterward, we can find somewhere else to go and if you want to tell me then, you can?” he offered.
The shame she felt minutes ago was doused by his words. Smiling at him in appreciation, she nodded as she turned her hand over under his. Giving it a squeeze, she repeated his words from earlier, “That sounds like a smart plan to me.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
JASON was happy Tori didn’t attempt to pay for her dinner. After her insistence at lunch the other day, he was prepared for it. Once he settled the bill, he stood and offered his hand to her. It was a great excuse to touch her, even if it was masked as gentlemanly. She smiled as she accepted it and stood. He ushered her toward the front of the restaurant, his hand now on the small of her back. When they reached the front, he said, “I was thinking we could take a walk down toward Seaport Village.”
“That sounds nice. I’m going to head to the ladies room before we leave then,” she said shyly.
“I’ll wait for you right here,” he said as he reluctantly dropped his hand from her back. He was watching her walk away when she looked back over her shoulder at him. Giving him a shy smile, he was grateful he hadn’t been caught checking out her ass.
It didn’t take long before she returned, and they made their way from the restaurant. A few moments later, they had crossed the busy street and were walking parallel with the San Diego Bay. When he noticed her clutching her small purse, he asked, “Did you want to put your purse in the car?”
Shaking her head, she looked over at him. “No thanks, it has my phone in it. I need that in case Tessa has to get a hold of me.”
He understood, but he really wanted one of her hands wrapped firmly inside one of his. “Would you like me to carry it for you?”
She scrunched her eyebrows and looked at him like he was crazy. He laughed. “What’s that look for?”
“You just offered to carry my purse. That’s not normal.”
He smiled bigger at the shock in her voice as he reached over and removed the “purse” from her grip. It couldn’t be much bigger than her phone so it really shouldn't be classified as a purse in his book. Slipping it into his pocket, he reached over and took her hand in his. “It wouldn’t be normal for a guy to swing it by the strap over his shoulder and prance around with it proudly. This,” he said, patting his pocket, “is nothing my masculinity can’t handle.”
“Besides, my offer to carry your stuff was completely selfish.” He punctuated his statement with a squeeze to her hand. After walking a few steps, she removed her hand from his grip. The disappointment was instant, and he looked down at her, about to apologize for overstepping his bounds. His gaze met a smile as he felt her reposition her hand within his.
“This is more comfortable. The angle before felt awkward,” she said as they continued walking. Occasionally moving to the side to allow the pedi-cabs to move past them, they walked along silently. There was a family with a toddler who scrambled into their path to get a better view of the water. A young couple walked with their arms around each other. And then there was an older couple, who looked like they’d been together for decades, walking hand in hand. The older man looked at Tori, then his eyes found Jason’s as he gave him a small nod of acknowledgment.
Tori broke the comfortable silence first. “So have you lived in San Diego all your life?”
“Born and raised. All my family is still here, so I’ve never had the desire to leave.” He paused before asking, “How about you, been here long?”
She didn’t look at him as she spoke, “Not too long. I’ve been here for more than a year. Sixteen months, I think.”
“And before that?” he asked, trying to keep the conversation going, but hoping to get to the story she was reluctant to tell him earlier.
“Idaho. I was born and raised in Boise, Idaho.” She smiled for a moment, apparently caught up in some memory before it disappeared. “I’d never had the desire to leave either. But things changed, and it became a necessity.”
He could tell she was trying to work up the courage to tell him more, and he wanted to comfort her—maybe encourage her. Pulling their entwined hands up, he softly kissed the back of hers. When she smiled again, he let their hands drop as they continued walking.
“My ex-husband’s name is Damien, and marrying him was the biggest mistake I’ve made in my life.” Her voice was strong, determined. “He is a bastard in every sense of the word, and I hope I never have to see again.”
He wanted to say something. The strength he heard in her voice told him that she had plenty more to say. So he waited, content with just holding her hand. Sighing deeply, she said, “I should start by telling you that I was very close to my mother. I feel I need to offer that bit of information up front so you won’t think badly of me.”
Jason stopped walking, pulling her up short. When she gave him a questioning look, he said, “Tori, I know we just met, but like I said earlier, I’m not the type of man to pass judgment like that.”
“I’m sorry. I’m just not used to telling this story,” she confessed.
His thumb rubbed the back of her hand, offering reassurance. “And you don’t have to tell the story now if you’re uncomfortable.”
“No, I want to.” She gave his hand a tug, and they began walking again. The amount of people walking along the path around them had dwindled, providing them with a sense of privacy. He hoped it made telling her story easier.
“I was very close to my mom. Growing up, it was mostly just she and I. My father died when I was only two, and my mom never remarried. She always said he was the love of her life and once you’ve experienced that, you can’t just go out and find someone else because it would never be good enough.” She smiled as she paused.
“I could see that,” he agreed.
She looked up at him with a smirk. “She really would’ve liked you.”
It was obvious by what she said that she had lost her mother. “Sounds like she was a great judge of character.”
Her smile turned to a scowl. “Yeah, she was … until Damien.” Shaking her head, she paused. He waited. “I met Damien within days of my mom finding out she had cancer. It was pretty advanced when they discovered it, and they suggested she get her affairs in order because her prognosis wasn’t good. They gave her six months, and she lived for seven.”
Unable to remain silent, “I’m sorry.” She nodded and continued.
“It’s been two years, but it’s still hard. When I lost her, I felt like I lost a part of myself. It was my grief that Damien used to his advantage. My mom was desperate to know that I would be taken care of after she was gone. When she met him, he was everything a mother would want for their daughter. He was good-looking, very charming, financially secure—the total package. Mom believed it, and so did I. He proposed quickly, and we got married shortly after. He convinced me to do it quickly so I could have my mom there. Of course I was on board with his suggestion, because I was devastated with what was going to happen. Long story short, we got married, and my mom left this world believing that I would be taken care of in her absence … it was only about a month later when I learned all about the real Damien.”
TORI felt Jason stiffen next to her. She avoided looking at him, afraid to see the expression on his face. It didn’t take a genius to understand the meaning of her words. Sure, he said he wouldn’t judge her, and she believed him. It was the pity she didn’t want to see. He didn’t say anything, and she was grateful for that.
She wanted to continue, to get it all out there, so she did. “A month later, Damien was fed up with waiting for me to ‘get over it’ and decided to teach me a lesson.” Reaching up, she ran her fingers along the scar on her cheek. “It was the first of many.”
Jason led her to a bench, and they sat. He was still silent, so she chanced a look at him. His expression was one of … anger? There was no pity, only anger. When she saw the lines of his jaw flexing in tension, she offered him a tentative smile. Not wanting to ruin their evening, she considered not continuing. She needed to lighten the dark that had swirled in around them. Just telling Jason, though, was starting to take some of the burden off her shoulders.
Sighing again, she said, “Fortunately, I’m a smart girl and learned my lesson. It only took me a little while to get out.”
“Did he give you that scar on your face, Tori?” Jason asked. His expression was neutral, but his voice was thick with anger. She nodded.
“Where is he now? Can he still hurt you?” he asked in the same tone.
Tori shook her head. “He’s in prison … for now.”
Even though he was grimacing, he nodded at her words. “He’s back in Idaho, I assume?”
“Yes.”
Jason pulled her hand into his lap and wrapped his other one around them. She wasn’t sure if he was trying to sooth her or himself as he stroked her skin softly. “And what is he serving time for? It’s not common for a man to serve a sentence for assault on his wife for an extended period of time like that. So there was something more significant to get the attention of a district attorney.”
He wasn’t looking at her, but she watched him. His posture was straight, and his shoulders were tight as he stared down at their hands. The tension radiating from his arms and into her hands wasn’t missed. She was afraid to answer his question—not afraid of him—but concerned about upsetting him. It was her burden to carry, not his, but he acted as if he was a part of it. Not wanting to lie, she answered him, “He was originally charged with attempted murder … but was downgraded to aggravated assault after he negotiated a deal.”
JASON’S head snapped up, furious at what he heard. “He was charged with attempted murder and was able to strike some kind of deal? What the hell kind of DA do you have up in Idaho?”
His words were laced with anger and fear. The thought of someone harming another human
was unthinkable. The thought of someone harming Tori made him see red. It may have been an inappropriate reaction, but it was there nonetheless. He could question it more later, because he needed to tone down his emotions right now. It wasn’t fair to Tori. Here she was telling her story, and he was snarling at her like an asshole.
As he was focusing on diffusing the turmoil in his head, he was surprised to hear her light laugh. Just like that, he softened. “I’d have to agree that the DA wasn’t phenomenal, but he had no choice. I injured Damien in order to get away, so he decided to press assault charges on me. He agreed to drop them if they downgraded the charges against him. If we had tried to push the attempted murder, I would’ve had to testify, and then I would have had to face him. Avoiding him was important, not just for me, but for Lexi. I didn’t want him knowing about her.”
The thought of her ex-husband getting off on a lesser charge was infuriating, but Jason understood if it was necessary to protect her daughter. “I can understand that. So he doesn’t have any part of her life?”
“No. I hope he still doesn’t know she exists,” she said in a soft, considering voice. Among normal circumstances, he would probably have a problem with that. As a man, he would want to know he had a child. But clearly her ex-husband wasn’t a man of the honorable type.
Jason felt his tension lessen a little with the knowledge that the ex wasn’t an immediate threat. He would get more information later. For now, he wanted to file away what he did know and focus on her. He had told her that he wouldn’t judge her by her story, and he didn’t. He told her that he thought what happened in her past had made her stronger, and it obviously did. The fact that she was able to tell him, and even laugh a little about it, was a testament to that.
Love Required (The Real Love Series) Page 10
