Losing Bash: Extended Cut (Charon MC Book 9)

by Khloe Wren

  No matter what Ma said, I couldn’t leave Bridgewater while she was still here, but her suggestion of a fresh start had me thinking. I’d enjoyed Staten Island. And not just because of Lydia. It was always busy. People and cars everywhere. There was always something happening. People busy getting shit done. And the food. Damn. Nothing quite like New York pizza and cannoli. My stomach let out a grumble in memory of the delicious little cream-filled delights that Riggs had introduced me to. We’d been on our way to the bank when Riggs declared we had to stop at Alfonso’s Pastry Shop. I’d thought he was fucking nuts until I got to eat those cannoli. Then I’d understood his insistence on stopping for them.

  Before I realized what I was doing, I had my phone out and had hit dial on Riggs’ number.

  “Well, if it isn’t the Ron Jeremy of the twenty-first century,” he greeted, making sure to toss in a dig about walking in on me and Lydia. “What’s up, my man?”

  “Not a whole helluva lot.”

  Suddenly not sure what the fuck to say, I took a swig of my beer.

  “You doing okay down there in cowboy country, Moses?”

  There was that utterly ridiculous name again, but I couldn’t muster the energy to rip into him for using it. I looked out over the backyard and into the field that was behind our place. Not a living thing for as far as the eye could see. So fucking isolated.

  “It’s so fucking quiet down here.”

  “Yeah. You know, I don’t know if I told you, but I used to live in Texas. Come to think of it, I probably didn’t. My last name is Montgomery.”

  Everyone in Texas knew about the Montgomerys. They owned one of the largest oil operations in the country.

  “Anyway, I hightailed it out of there as soon as I could. Followed Bones up here and made a life for myself. I’m not sure I’d know what to do with all that fucking silence anymore.”

  That made me grin. “Well, try wrapping it up on occasion and you wouldn’t have so many kids running around making so much noise.”

  His deep laugh rumbled down the line. “Fuck that. The way I see it, I got another two or three cubs to make before Kitten either castrates me or forces me to get a vasectomy. But I wasn’t just referring to the kids. I don’t think I could fall asleep at night without hearing the occasional car speed down the street or my neighbors fighting.”

  I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “Staten Island sure was different from here. So many cars and people everywhere. All the time. Day and night. It was nice. It’s like you’re never alone.”

  “Big cities can be lonely as fuck too, man. Before Kitten, all I had was Bones. He was already a patched member and I was still a prospect, which meant he was off in the wild and I was fucking scrubbing floors. Anyway, it was lonely and at times boring as fuck. But I don’t gotta tell you how that goes, do I?”

  “Considering I’ve been a prospect for nearly two fucking years now, I know how it goes, all right. I’ve worked my ass off for the Charons in that time. Never once slacked off. Hell, I even took a fucking bullet on one job. But I’m still without my full colors.”

  “Two fucking years? Shit. Things really do move slowly down there. You speak to Scout about it?”

  “Nah, Arrow talked to me last night, after I beat the shit out of a new prospect. Told me they’ve been meaning to vote on it but shit keeps going down and distracting the club.”

  “Wait, you beat the shit outta another prospect and you didn’t get shown the door? What the fuck happened, Moses? You don’t strike me as a hothead. They give you that road name because you bash in skulls?”

  I scoffed a laugh. “Wanna know the truth behind my road name?”

  I suspected I’d regret letting Riggs know this one, but it was easier to talk about than the reason behind me beating on Brett.

  “Sure, man. Origin stories are always good. Should I get some popcorn?”

  That made me scoff again. “When I first joined the club, I wasn’t used to being surrounded by so many women all the time and I’d get nervous as hell when I was around them. Even the old ladies. Mac was teasing me one night about being bashful around his old lady, Bulldog overheard it and declared my new name was Bash. Although, after last night, maybe I’ve earned it for a different reason.”

  “What happened?”

  Riggs wasn’t laughing at my story. In fact, his voice had lost all the levity it normally contained. Like he knew I was on the edge. I took another swig of beer before I answered him.

  “I’d just finished my stint behind the bar and was heading out to the yard for a few drinks before I came home, when a newer recruit was in the process of getting up the skirt of one of the club whores and tried to pass off his shift at guarding the front door to me, ‘cause I was just a prospect like him. Fuck. I just saw red. I’ve never had that happen before. Keg pulled me off him before I killed him. Fuck. I can’t believe I lost it like that, to be honest.”

  “We all got our breaking point, man. Looks like this fucker found yours.”

  “I guess. Arrow pulled me aside and grilled me. When he found out about my ma, he gave me the week off duties. Supposed to be going in Saturday to sit down with Scout.”

  “You worried they’re going to show you the door?”

  “I know I should be. I mean, two years I’ve given the Charons, but right now, with Ma like she is... I don’t know. I just... Fuck. I just can’t muster up the energy to give a shit if I’m in or out. You feel me?”

  “Those are some serious words, man,” he said. “How is your ma doing these days?”

  “She’s bad. I mean tonight she’s been good. With it enough to give me a dressing down over getting in a fight. But those moments where she knows who the fuck I am are getting further and further apart.”

  I stopped to take another swig of beer, not really sure what else I could say.

  “I’m gonna tell you something someone told me a long time ago. Take the detour. Sometimes the path we thought we were meant to travel, ain’t the right one. It doesn’t mean we don’t get where we’re supposed to be and should you feel the need to make a right instead of a left, do it. Don’t fucking hesitate. Maybe you need a change of scenery or a pretty little bartender to lick your wounds.”

  “Thanks, Riggs. To be honest, I’ve been thinking a change of pace might be a good thing. But I gotta settle things with Ma first.”

  “Family first. Always. I gotta get my ass in gear. Remember what I said, and if you ever wanna move north, let me know and I’ll talk to Wolf. Bet Lydia wouldn’t mind having Ron Jeremy back in town. Maybe then she’ll quit bitching and moping around here.”

  With that parting shot, he hung up, leaving me speechless and back to remembering the sassy, sexy woman I’d had just one night with. A woman who instantly made the idea of moving to New York a whole lot more appealing.

  With five minutes to spare, I pulled my bike up into the lot in front of the clubhouse. It had felt strange not coming in for the past few days, that’s for sure. Although, I’d made the most of spending more time with Ma. Even when I’d had to pretend to be my old man, or explain to her I was her son when she didn't remember either me or my pop, it was still nice just to be near her. As much as I didn’t like it, I knew time was not on our side and I wouldn’t have her for much longer.

  This early on a Saturday, the clubhouse was fairly quiet with only a few men hanging around the main rooms. I made fast work of heading back to Scout’s office and knocked on the open door before entering.

  Scout looked up. “Bash, come on in.”

  Unsure of how things were going to go, I closed the door behind me before moving to sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk. With a sigh, Scout opened a drawer and pulled a folder out, placing it in front of me but keeping his palm on the thing, preventing me from seeing what it was for the moment.

  “I wish you’d come to me earlier, Bash. Could’ve had your ma settled in somewhere sooner.”

  He released the folder and gave me a nod to open it. Flipp
ing the cover over, I did a double-take at what it contained.

  “How the fuck did you get her a room? I was told we’d be waiting at least four months.”

  “We got a lot of pull in this town. Over the years we’ve helped a lot of folks out of tight situations. Favors are owed and I collected on one. You’re not alone, Jake. You’re a member of this club, and that means your family comes under my protection and care. I’m sorry I haven’t spent more time with you lately. If I’d been doing my fucking job I would have known you were struggling. For that I apologize.” He paused to run his hand through his hair. “It seems lately, the bullshit keeps flying our way faster than we can shovel it away. But that ain’t no excuse. A lot of things have been left to slide, but we’re gonna fix that shit. We’ll get your ma settled in up at Oakford Home on Monday, then Friday night at church we’ll put the vote through and get your top rocker sorted. We all know you earned the right to wear it a long fucking time ago. You and Jazz both have.”

  He stopped talking until I shifted my gaze from the Oakford Home agreement on the desk to meet his gaze. I was in a state of shock and awe. I hadn’t even considered asking Scout about whether he held any sway with the home. I mean, this was a motorcycle club and that was an old folks’ home.

  “You’re being awful damn quiet. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

  “I’m in shock, still trying to process what just happened. I half expected to come in today and be told I was out for good after that fight with Brett. But instead you’ve given me the solution I’d been praying for but hadn’t been expecting.”

  He gave me a solemn nod. “It’s true we don’t normally accept brawling like that from hangarounds or prospects, but as I said, you should have had a full patch a long time ago. I can understand why you snapped. You’re under a shit-ton of pressure right now and Brett pushed his responsibilities onto you just so he could chase the skirt of a club whore. Dare say no matter who he’d tried that shit on, it would have ended with him nursing a sore jaw. He’s out, by the way.”

  That had me sitting straighter. “He’s not gonna come gunning for me now, is he?”

  I knew admitting that fear made me sound like a wuss, but with everything else I had going on, having to worry about Brett was the last thing I needed.

  “I doubt it. But we’re keeping an eye on him for the next few weeks, just in case. He’d already been warned about his lack of commitment to the club before the other night. He knows it wasn’t the fight so much as the fact he wanted to fuck one of the whores more than he wanted to pull his weight that got him booted. If you hear from him or see him hanging around at all, you let us know and we’ll deal with it.”

  I relaxed back into the chair, scrubbing a hand over my face, trying to wrap my head around everything Scout had told me just now, and trying to work out how to ask about what Ma had told me earlier in the week.

  “Ma was having a good day Thursday. Convenient for her since it meant she got to rip me a new one over brawling and coming home beat up.”

  Scout scoffed a chuckle. “Guessing telling her the other guy looked worse didn’t help your cause?”

  “Not one bit. Then she asked me where you were when it went down. Told me how she asked you to look out for me. Got me wondering if that was the only reason you asked me to prospect in was as a favor to a fallen club and Marine brother.”

  With a wince, Scout stood and silently went over to gather a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from a shelf before returning and pouring each of us a drink.

  “Yeah, the reason you were first approached was due to your ma asking a favor of me. A favor I agreed to, due to the fact I’d known your old man as a Marine and a club brother. Asking you to join the Charons was never part of what I promised your ma. She just wanted me to keep my eye on you, make sure you were doing okay. Especially if her surgery didn’t go well.”

  He paused to take a mouthful from his drink, so I followed his lead, enjoying the burn of the whiskey as I waited for him to continue.

  “I didn’t ask you to come hang out here because of that favor. I could have easily kept my word without involving the club, but after that first night we chatted, I thought you could use the support the Charons would give you. Thought you’d enjoy it here. You’ve certainly earned the right to call yourself a Charon. Guess the question is, do you still want it?”

  I swirled the amber liquid in the glass before I tossed the rest of it down my throat, setting a fire flaring from my mouth down to my belly in the process. Scout had the good stuff hidden away here in his office.

  “Honestly? I barely know which way is up lately, let alone what I fucking want for the future.”

  He gave me another of his head tilts. “Well, let’s leave it for now. We’ll get your ma settled into Oakford, then you let me know before church at the end of the week what you want to do. Sound fair?”

  “Sounds good.”

  Scout polished off the last of his drink before tapping the empty glass on the desk.

  “Well, I guess you’d best get to packing. Give me a call if you need help and switch out your bike for one of the club’s cages for the weekend so you can get shit done.”

  I set my glass next to his. “Thanks. I’ll keep my bike for now, but I’ll drop in Sunday night and switch rides. I doubt she’ll want to take much with her, so I should be all right to handle it. It’s going to be tough enough trying to keep her calm with all the new faces at the home, don’t want to add more than is necessary.”

  “Fair enough. But the offer stands. I’m serious, Jake. You are not alone. We’re all here and we’ve got your back. All you gotta do is reach out and accept it.”

  Before I could respond, my phone rang in my pocket. Standing up, I fished it out to see who was calling and when I saw it was Beth the blood left my head so fast a wave of dizziness hit me that had nothing to do with the high-priced whiskey I’d just put away.

  Scout growled, “What the fuck?”

  In the few moments it took me to hit answer, Scout was standing in front of me. I was staring straight into his hard, blue eyes when I spoke into my phone.

  “Hey, Beth, Ma okay?”

  “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. She was feeling tired earlier so laid down for a nap before lunch. I just went to wake her but I couldn’t. I’m truly sorry, Jake—”

  The phone slipped from my hand, and Scout caught it before it hit the floor. He lifted it to his ear and spoke but I heard none of it. I stood frozen, unable to move, unable to process what had just happened. I was vaguely aware there were tears running down my face, but in that moment, I didn’t give a fuck that Scout was witnessing me cry.

  My mother was gone.

  Just when I was starting to get shit sorted out for her.

  Life was so fucking unfair.

  Chapter 6

  Three days later, I stood beside Ma’s grave. Alone. The funeral had been a short, graveside thing and with the exception of Beth, it had been attended solely by Charons. The old ladies had arranged a wake back at the clubhouse, but I wasn’t ready to leave yet. Leaving would make it all the more final. I took in the headstone, the weather-worn text of my father’s final resting place alongside the glossy, fresh engraving on my mother’s side.

  For the most part, I was still numb. Inside and out. I was officially an orphan. Didn’t matter that I was a grown man. At twenty-five years old, I felt like I was nothing more than a child as I stood there praying this was all nothing but a nightmare. That I’d wake up and have both my parents back, both in perfect mental health. Fuck, I’d take just one of them back. I didn’t want to be alone.

  Clearing my throat and blinking away more tears, I let my gaze run over the flowers that covered the coffin, the single, large, bright yellow sunflower standing out. Scout’s daughter, Ariel, had added it. That little girl was nothing short of inspiring. Put me to shame, really. She was just five years old and had already been forced to bury her own mother. We hadn’t known which of those fuckers out in th
at cult had been her father, but we’d killed every one of them who’d ever raped her mother, so she was an orphan too. But she wasn’t alone. Scout and Marie had adopted her and she had the entire Charon MC at her back. Little mite knew it, too. Over the months since we’d rescued her, she’d grown stronger and more confident. Especially once she had a little brother to protect. She didn’t let her past hold her down. Like I said, the kid was an inspiration.

  I knew I had the club at my back, too. As evidenced by the wake that was currently going on back at the clubhouse, waiting for me. But was I strong enough to put my past behind me like Ariel had?

  “C’mon, son. Let’s head to the clubhouse.”

  Scout gripped my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Letting me know that I wasn’t really alone. Like Ariel, I had the Charon MC to back me up. But was that going to be enough? Scout had told me my back patch was mine as soon as I was ready to accept it, but was being a patched in member of the Charon MC going to be enough? Riggs’ voice filled my mind, telling me to take the damn detour already, which was followed by flashes of Lydia’s sexy smirk as I turned and followed Scout back to our bikes. Take the detour. What could it hurt? I had nothing else to lose, but I didn’t want to make any big decisions so close to burying Ma. I’d give it another few days at least, before I made any final decision about my future.

  Another two days had passed me by in a blur and I was still unsure on whether I should act on Riggs’ advice and take the detour, or if I should just stay here with what I knew. If I wasn’t at the building site, I was here at the clubhouse working, or hiding out with a beer. I’d avoided going back home. Every inch of that old house reminded me of what I’d lost. The silence there was suffocating, so I stayed at the clubhouse. It was still lonely as fuck, but at least I wasn’t swamped with memories when I saw every little thing that reminded me of happier times with my ma.