LustandOtherDrugs

by Saranna Dewylde

  Shit. Anne had to ride home with him. Hell, she had to live with him. She had to look at his handsome face every day and know that they’d done this together. When she sat next to him on movie night with his arm around her, Anne would wonder how to get him to touch her again. Their friendship would never be the same.

  She’d screwed things up royally. She should have talked to him about Dreamed Desire—or no, fuck that. She should have stopped looking. Stopped imagining him touching her, wanting her.

  The night air was by no means cool, but it provided a welcome relief from the closeness of the interior of The Bottleneck and it felt good to be out under the stars. She stole a glance at Chase, but he was focused on crossing the street to get to the truck and not getting pressed like roadkill.

  She knew she had to say something. Anne couldn’t lose him because they’d gotten carried away during a dance.

  “Chase—” Anne began carefully when they’d reached the truck.

  “It was just a dance.” He cut her off but his tone was casual. His actions didn’t match his words. He’d backed her up against the truck and the only space between them was a single breath. “What’s a little orgasm between friends?” He twisted her words and threw them back at her.

  “I don’t know!” she cried, betraying every fear that lurked inside her.

  “It doesn’t have to be anything. Nothing has to change. It happened. So what? Do you remember Jennifer Eisler’s party in seventh grade?”

  She’d kissed him in the closet for their Seven in Heaven. Anne had been thinking about that earlier, but the first inexperienced touches of a boy had nothing to do with the man he’d become. “Yes. I remember.”

  “And did it change us?” he whispered.

  “No, but we didn’t want it to,” she answered.

  “You want us to change?” He sounded surprised.

  “I don’t know. God, I can’t think when you’re this close to me.” She pushed at his shoulders but he didn’t move back.

  “It’s a simple question, Annie. What do you want? Be honest with me, and yourself.”

  “Honest? Fine. I’ll give you honest. Dreamed Desire. There’s honest for you.”

  Damn, why had she said that? She couldn’t answer the question so she’d turned it around on him. Anne knew she wasn’t being fair.

  He raised a brow and waited for her to continue, but she had nothing else to say. Chase straightened. “You want me to be ashamed or to apologize? I won’t. It’s paying for med school and the house where we both lay our heads at night.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me if you’re not ashamed?” she demanded.

  “So we could end up doing this?”

  “Stop answering my questions with more questions!”

  “Stop asking questions that beget more questions.” His lip curled in a half grin.

  Now they were back in comfortable territory, a place they were both familiar with—and somehow that was more devastating than any of the rest of it.

  “Chase, you’re my best friend.”

  “And that stops because I made you feel good?” Chase narrowed his eyes at her as if she were a strange sort of bug.

  When he put it that way, it didn’t make any sense. He always did that. She knew what she wanted to say, had a killer argument all laid out in her head, but as soon as he opened his mouth, he had a way of oversimplifying that made everything she’d decided obsolete.

  But she hadn’t been arguing with him for fifteen years to lose so easily. “No, making me ‘feel good’ doesn’t mean we won’t be friends anymore. It’s when you want to make someone else besides me feel good, as you put it.”

  “Well, that’s just selfish. You want to keep all the feeling good to yourself,” he teased.

  “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” He obviously had none of the same concerns she did. It was just as well, she told herself for the millionth time. She turned and got in the truck. He stood there for a moment before going to the driver’s side.

  “Annie—” he began.

  “Hey, no big deal, right? It was only a dance.”

  “It’s a big deal now.” Even though he didn’t say it, she could still hear the damn it hanging on the end of the sentence.

  “No, it’s not. I won’t bring it up again. Let’s forget it happened.” The words felt hollow on her tongue and the lie turned to ash in her throat.

  “If that’s what you want.” He started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot.

  It wasn’t what she wanted. Why did he keep asking what she wanted? What about him? What did he want? Anne wanted to ask him all of those things but instead of speaking, she rode in silence.

  They drove for a while before he spoke again. “Are you hungry?”

  She knew the best way to get past this was to act as they normally did, but Anne didn’t know if she could swing it. “Not really. It’s been a long day.”

  “Flick?” he asked.

  Anne realized he was trying to be normal too. How she’d sit next to him through a whole movie with the memory of their dance still fresh, she didn’t know.

  “Okay.”

  “You know you need snacks for movie night. Maybe a little pizza?” Chase prodded.

  She smiled. “I guess.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  Ugh, she had to stop reading innuendo into every slip of his tongue.

  Her channel clenched at the visual of slipping his tongue. Anne was determined not to think about sex anymore. Or Chase.

  Ever.

  Chapter Four

  So much for not thinking about sex.

  Anne was a lumpy mess on the couch next to Chase and she didn’t even know what movie they were watching. She was so aware of herself. For years, Anne had hijacked his t-shirts and boxer shorts for pajamas, but rather than make her feel comfy as they had in the past, she was very aware of where they’d touched on his body in relation to where they touched hers. Her nipples were hard points beneath the t-shirt and the throbbing in her sex was almost unbearable.

  He wore nothing but a pair of ratty shorts and Anne still couldn’t keep her eyes off him. She’d thought he was sin on a stick in the jeans; it was worse in the shorts because she could see more of his tan skin. The lines and perfect musculature of his long legs.

  Regardless of what either of them wanted, things had changed. The comfortable companionship they’d always shared would never be that way for her again. Maybe if they got it over with, if they had sex, this would go away. She needed it to stop.

  When the credits finally rolled, she popped off the couch like some angry bug had bitten her ass. “Well, I’m tired.”

  “Okay, goodnight. Want me to tuck you in?” he asked with a lazy smile.

  Sweet Jesus, no. Because as soon as she was in bed, she was going to turn her Rabbit on high and make herself come until her brains squirted out of her snatch. Then maybe she wouldn’t think about Chase and his lovely cock anymore. And she definitely didn’t want him present this time.

  “No thanks. I’m good.” Anne turned and darted to her room before he could say anything else.

  Her laptop sat cold and quiet on her desk, but she wasn’t touching that thing either—not until she got Chase Donovan out of her head. At this rate, that would happen when dog shit tasted like Godiva.

  Because the memories that washed over her, that made her hot, were the ones of their dance. Anne eased beneath the covers with her trusty Rabbit and rolled her nipple between her thumb and forefinger, imagining her hand was Chase’s mouth. She tugged firmly and imagined it was the gentle pull of his teeth.

  Anne pushed the phallus of the Rabbit into her wet cunt and turned the setting on low. The jutting appendage on the top pushed up against her clit. She sighed in expectation—and nothing happened. The Rabbit gave a little shudder and moved no more. Its death felt like an accusation.

  Sonofabitch. She needed new batteries.

  Anne knew with a horrible certainty that she had none in he
r room. She’d already cannibalized the ones from her television remote. Chase was Captain Emergency Preparedness. He had a whole arsenal that was stocked full of any size battery she could fathom.

  In the kitchen.

  Past the living room, where he was watching another movie.

  A glass of water. She could get a glass of water. Anne nodded. The perfect excuse. Or maybe she should just tell him she needed batteries so she could come again and maybe they should just fuck and get it over with. Then they could be friends again and she’d stop thinking of him.

  Anne peeked out of her room and around the corner. It was dark and quiet. He must’ve gone to bed too. She tiptoed down the hall and paused at his door. There was a sliver of light coming through the small space between the door and the frame where it hadn’t been closed all the way.

  She wanted to look, but she didn’t dare. Anne imagined he was jacking off, thinking about their dance just as she was about to do. It didn’t matter if that’s what he was doing or not, it’s what she wanted to imagine.

  But the door was open. If she wasn’t supposed to look, wouldn’t it be closed? Chase didn’t believe in coincidence, so perhaps the universe had decreed the door be left open for her viewing pleasure? She realized that her reasoning was skewed and she was rationalizing. If she wanted to look, she’d better have at it and be prepared to deal with the consequences if he caught her.

  Being caught was its own fantasy right there. Anne could easily imagine him being displeased with her for watching him without his permission, and that should definitely earn her some time over his knee and a good, solid spanking. Maybe she’d even have to make up for it by sucking his—

  Wow. She looked. Fantasy didn’t have anything on the reality of Chase Donovan or his cock. They say the camera makes everything look bigger, but the website didn’t begin to do the size of him justice.

  It also drove the point home that this was real. This wasn’t happening in some ether of the internet, this was real life. She was watching her best friend jerk off and she wanted it to be her hand wrapped around his cock instead of his.

  Things could never be the same between them again and even that realization couldn’t make her stop watching.

  He’d palmed himself and was slowly working his hand up and down the length of his shaft. In all the naughty movies she’d ever watched, this was the time when she could walk through the door and fall on her knees and do whatever she wanted to him. That was supposedly the fantasy. There wouldn’t be any denial, no shock or embarrassment at being caught. Anne wished she had the nerve to follow through.

  She should look away—he hadn’t invited her to be part of this. It was private.

  That thought turned her on more. It was a transgression into the forbidden. She wondered if it would make her just as hot if he’d invited her in to watch. If she’d still be entranced by every movement of his hand, the way his muscles corded when he fought his orgasm.

  Almost unwittingly, she worked her fingers into the opening of the boxer shorts she wore and rubbed herself softly. She was torn between wishing he’d catch her and praying he wouldn’t. Anne was just teasing herself though. She wasn’t one of those women who could bring herself off like that. Anne got bored with her own fingers; she needed her Rabbit or Bullet.

  She knew for damn sure he’d hear that thing buzzing outside his door. Anne turned away reluctantly, padded the rest of the way to the kitchen and was quick with the battery recon. She had them tucked in her hand and was on her way back to her room when she realized she was actually thirsty. She crept back to the kitchen, ignoring the desire to peek into his room again.

  There was a glass on the counter filled with water. Anne upended it just as Chase strode into the kitchen.

  His eyes were wide and his mouth fell open. “Don’t tell me that was the water I left on the counter.”

  She looked sheepish. “Uh, maybe.”

  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

  “Sorry. Here, I’ll make you another.” She fumbled with the glass while she tried to keep the batteries hidden.

  “No, sweets. I really needed that one.” Chase pursed his lips and looked skyward, as if there were another glass of water on the ceiling that could help.

  That was when Anne became aware of an intense heat suddenly radiating from her skin. It felt like a sunburn.

  “It wasn’t only water, was it?” she asked weakly.

  “No, I’m afraid it wasn’t.”

  “Are you going to tell me what I drank or am I better off not knowing?” The ache she’d had in her pussy exploded into a nuclear apocalypse. “Oh my God!” She grasped the counter for support as lust raged through her. “Chase?”

  “I’m so sorry, Annie! Hold on and this will pass, okay? I promise.”

  He said that as though he knew what she was feeling. He put this stuff into his body on purpose?

  “What is it?” she asked through clenched teeth.

  “It’s a supplement so I can film for Dreamed Desire.”

  “Like, Viagra?” she squeaked.

  “Not exactly. It’s something Seth and I made in the lab.”

  “It…” She struggled for the words to explain.

  “I know. Here, let me help you.” Chase held out his hand.

  Anne tried to take a step but her knees buckled at the rush of sensation that washed over her when the boxers rubbed against her sensitized flesh. He caught her as she fell and it was torture. Because her skin burned everywhere he touched.

  “It hit me so fast,” she said breathlessly.

  “Because it was a dose for me. To keep the show on the road, so to speak. We don’t know if it affects women differently.”

  “You better not be taking notes,” she growled.

  “No, not when my carelessness hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry, just make it stop,” she pleaded.

  “I can’t make it stop,” he said, and hauled her up into his arms. “But I can ease the pain.”

  “Chase, you have to stop touching me.” Each word was uttered carefully through gritted teeth. “I’m on fire.”

  “No, I have to touch you more.”

  His words made her breath catch. “It hurts!” she cried.

  “I know, baby.” He laid her on the island and she leaned back on her forearms with a small moan.

  Chase tugged her boxers off and she had no voice to argue, even if she’d been so inclined. The throbbing that centered at the core of her cunt wouldn’t allow it. She was spread before him, half-naked and exposed. Part of her wanted to cry that they could never recover from this, but it was quickly silenced by the need that was a drumbeat, keeping time with her pounding heart.

  “This is the fastest way to work it through your system. If you can’t breathe or you feel a pressure in your chest, tell me, okay? I’ll have to take you to the ER. That’s what I should do now.” Chase’s mouth was set in a grim line.

  “No!”

  “I would if I didn’t think it would be worse for you.” He looked at her for a long moment.

  Another wave of ecstasy and pain rocketed through her core and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. “How long?”

  “I don’t know. It keeps me hard for hours.”

  Terror knifed through her. She couldn’t stand this for hours. “Can’t you put me to sleep?”

  “No, I need you awake to know if your heart is in distress. Unless you want to go to the ER?”

  “No! I want to stay with you. Please.”

  “And this too?” Chase slipped a finger inside her slick pussy and she clenched as a tremor shook her body.

  “Yes,” she said without hesitation.

  He eased a second finger into her hot channel and she arched against his hand. Chase thrust in and out, seeming to keep rhythm with the rush of blood that pounded through her head. A few more small tremors echoed through her and they eased the pain, but the tension was still building inside her.

  Chase mo
aned as he ghosted his thumb over her clitoris. “Damn me for being a bastard, but I want more of you.”

  “Take it,” she offered.

  He carefully climbed atop the island, kneeling between her legs, and pushed her shirt up to expose her breasts. Chase’s hot tongue stroked over her nipple and she arched her back with a cry at the intensity of the sensation.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered as he continued to thrust his fingers inside her.

  “More,” she demanded, stripping her shirt off completely.

  “All you can take, Annie.” His voice was full of promise.

  She shuddered again and her core throbbed. Anne realized those shudders were vaginal orgasms. She’d never had them before. Only clitoral. They were different in how they felt and what they did to her—not only in duration but in how they affected her release.

  He moved up her body and kissed the hollow of her throat. His thumb moved over her swollen clit and, just as she was about to come, he stopped. Chase eased back down the length of her and dipped his head between her thighs.

  Anne propped herself up higher on her forearms to watch him work. She briefly threw her head back in delight when he touched his tongue to her, but forced herself to look at him. He was jacking his cock inside his shorts while he laved her and she wanted to give him the same pleasure but was too weak to demand it, too caught up in the bliss to speak.

  The searing pain had stopped, but still her body yearned for something more. Anne bucked against him. The batteries that were still in her hand clattered to the floor as she reclined back on the island.

  Chase didn’t stop his ministrations when she pushed her hands through his hair and tugged him closer to her slit. The staccato of his tongue changed, paused. She arched to see him and when she did, she noticed he’d come in his hand while getting her off.

  That knowledge was what flung her over the edge—and she came hard. Anne clenched her teeth as sensation exploded inside her.

  “That’s right, baby. Come for me.”

  Anne threw back her head and screamed as her hips jerked to his thrusts. She struggled for breath and feared for a moment she had stopped breathing, but as she fell back to earth, Anne realized it wasn’t heart failure. It was simply the most intense orgasm she’d ever had.