Rewrite the Stars

by Julieann Dove

  He smiled and handed it back to her. “Call me Colin, please. And you’re very welcome.”

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  Claire and Alex cleaned the dishes. It was something they’d all decided on when it was agreed Colin and Emily were making dinner. They barely said much to each other during the stretch of plates from the sink to the dishwasher. Claire knew it was bothering Alex to be in the same house as Colin. About as much as it was eating her alive as well.

  Going out to the set of lawn furniture in the backyard, as opposed to the veranda, was a welcomed suggestion by Mallory. Claire and Alex left the others in the house and stepped out to the cool evening. The humidity of the day had all but disappeared with the sun. Mallory had found some jars and the children were busy catching lightning bugs.

  Mallory rested her head back on the white Adirondack chair. “That was us not too long ago, Claire.”

  “I know. I wish I could go back. See Mom and run and sit on her lap, showing her the wings light on the tiny backs of those bugs. She’d point to each of them, giving them names. She swore I’d caught an entire family in that jar. The Joneses, she’d say. Then she’d point to the little brother, Billy; sister Millicent; mother and father, and then she’d say their cranky ol’ grandfather Baron was in there. That way, if one of them died before I set them free, she’d tell me it was Baron and he was old and cranky anyway.”

  Claire drew up her legs on the chair and stared out at the stars. She was happy to have had all those memories stored away of her mother. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that she’d agreed to have Pearl spend time with her cousins and grandparents.

  “Alex, did Claire tell you I think Jason’s cheating on me?”

  It was clearly not the direction Claire wanted to take the evening conversation. Perhaps some more memories, some talk of the weather, or maybe future weather, but not about cheating. Especially when she had memories of that also floating around in her mind.

  “No, she didn’t.” He perked up in his chair and leaned forward to give his full attention to Mallory.

  Claire saw his head turn toward her. She acted indifferent, staring out at the children. Seemingly more interested in what they were doing at the moment. Running and holding the mouths of their jars open, swatting at the unsuspecting bugs. She shared in the bug’s desire to fly higher and not be caught.

  “What makes you think he’s cheating?” he asked.

  Mallory gathered her hair and pulled it around to her shoulder. “He’s just been acting differently. You know, like not himself. He even canceled our vacation to go to his parents’ house. We’d been planning it since they visited for Christmas.”

  “What was his reason for canceling?”

  “He just said something came up at work. Some new contract or something.”

  “Maybe it did.”

  Mallory raised her chin, pinching her lips tightly. Something was working in that brain of hers. “No, I have my doubts.”

  “Well then,” Alex continued, shifting on the wooden chair. “There are other signs to look for, I suppose. Do you ever see him staring off into the distance, say when you’re eating together? Like he’s a million miles away?”

  She thought about it. Claire glanced at Alex while keeping her head in the direction of the dancing children on the lawn.

  “I think so. Now that you mention it, I have to repeat myself like three times when I’m having a conversation with him. It’s like he’s not there. He claims I mumble and it’s difficult to understand me at times, but I think he’s somewhere else.”

  Okay, so Claire knew where these questions were headed. Right to her front door. Claire, so far, was guilty of all he’d proposed to Mallory. So what if she was late a lot of days to go home—the nanny was there to get Pearl from school and their food on the table on time. Claire just didn’t want that extra time at home. Alex had been coming home an hour before dinner and he’d have expected to talk to Claire. And she only had enough conversation to carry them through dinner, most of it being about Pearl and how her day went.

  Mallory answered his question. “Well, with this new contract, there have been evenings that he hasn’t made it home to tuck the children in bed. Maybe I should check his phone.” She smacked her head. “Can you believe it? Listen to me. I’m honestly thinking about waiting until he gets in the shower and then searching for recent calls and text messages.”

  “It’s futile. Don’t waste your time, Mallory. People are too smart nowadays to get caught with their phone. They figure that’s the first thing you’ll check.”

  Was that humidity returning to the evening air or was the flames of adultery hell reaching the bottoms of Claire’s feet, making her sweat? Then again, it could be the heat from the imaginary spotlight beaming onto her face. She wondered whether anyone else could see it. Probably not, but that’s what guilt did to a person. It started slow, just the flick of a match against the box. Then slowly it crept down the stick, the ember burning orange, moving down to the end of its existence, until it was all consumed, leaving nothing but black. Claire felt the embers in this conversation.

  “I guess you’re right, but I’ve got to look. I need something to tell me to either stop worrying and obsessing and chalk it up to paranoia.”

  “Have you confronted him with your suspicions?” Claire asked.

  “Not yet.” She ran her fingers through her hair and bit on her nail. “I’m afraid when I do, he might tell me it’s true. And I couldn’t live with that.” She looked positively eaten with worry.

  She stood up from the chair and inhaled deeply. Slowly, she exhaled it all. A switch flipped in her, taking her from a wife with a mission to a camp counselor for their children. “There’s nothing I can do now about it. I’m going to take all the kids with me to the guesthouse for a sleepover. I need the distraction. Pearl is welcome to come if she’d like, Claire.”

  “No, that’s all right. Alex had to go and pick her up at the last one she tried to go on. She gets too homesick, I’m afraid. But thanks for asking.”

  “No problem. Let me know if you change your mind. I brought the new Disney movie with that dog that can talk, and Colin picked up some popcorn and candy.” She shrugged. “Might as well let the kids have fun. I don’t want them to suspect anything’s up with me. Bailey already asked what was wrong.”

  “Kids are so perceptive. Just try to get your mind off Jason for the evening and enjoy your time with them. I’m sure he’s home, tired from a long day at work.”

  “I hope you’re right.” She ran her fingers through her hair and took a deep breath.

  It didn’t take long to round up the kids. Mirabel ran inside and kissed her mom and dad good-bye. Claire sat on the chair and stared at the night sky. So much was racing through her mind. Pearl’s incessant nagging forced her to finally go inside. Claire didn’t bother mentioning the sleepover to her daughter. She looked forward to having Pearl share the room with her and Alex. They hadn’t made love in about a month and always managed to do so on trips. Sleeping with him was completely out of the question for that night, or for any other night for that matter, while they were sharing the same house at Colin.

  “Well, good-night everyone.” Claire tapped Pearl on the shoulder. “Go and kiss Grandma and Grandpa good-night, honey.”

  Evie broke from her conversation with Emily. It seemed they had a lot in common with their love of books. They were comparing notes on the latest one in a series they both were reading.

  “You’re not going on the sleepover with the others, Pearl?” asked Evie.

  “What sleepover?” She scrunched her nose.

  “They went with Mallory to the guesthouse. I heard they’re watching a new Disney movie. Emily and Colin bought popcorn and candy for it. I thought you’d be there with them.”

  Claire wanted to sink into the carpet. She knew what was coming next.

  “Mom, can I go?” Pearl ran to her and laced her fingers together, praying her mother woul
d agree.

  “Sweetheart, don’t you remember the last time you tried a sleepover? It ended with your father going in the middle of the night to pick you up.”

  “Mom, I was like in the first grade. I’m not a scaredy-cat now. And plus, they were doing things to scare me. Rachel had this weird doll and she said it would eat our eyes out in the night.” Her eyes darted back and forth. “Please let me go tonight. It’s just in the backyard. If I get scared, I can walk back myself.”

  Claire released a laugh. “Oh, you’d walk back, would you?”

  “Well, no. But you could come and get me and it wouldn’t be that far away. Besides, I’m old now. I promise I won’t get scared.” She waited with both hands on her hips.

  Claire thought about it. She couldn’t say no. What would the reason be? Anyway, all eyes in the room were on her to free this little bird from the agonizing fated cage of going to sleep early with her parents. Disney movie with popcorn and candy, or Mom and Dad? Really?

  “Well, I guess we’ll give it a try, old woman.” She lifted the little girl’s hair and smiled. “I realize you’ve grown so much. I don’t know what I was thinking. Now let’s go up and get dressed for bed so you can go join everyone. Daddy will walk you down.” She patted her butt as the girl scampered in front of her. “And let’s hope no one has one of those dolls.”

  Pearl turned around and squinted. “Mom, really.”

  Claire grinned and followed her up the wooden staircase. Little did she know that the little innocent sleepover would lead to so much more.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Staying Out Too Late

  “Alex.” Claire knocked on the bathroom door. “What are you doing?”

  “I just got out of the shower. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  Claire looked at Pearl, who was dancing on one foot, impatiently waiting her turn to get ready and to the party. Claire envied her innocence.

  “I thought you’d be downstairs longer. I’m sorry I took so long in the shower.” He had on his pajama pants and was rubbing his wet hair with the towel when he opened the bathroom door. Steam billowed out, and his scented shower gel floated in the air.

  “Crap, you took a shower.”

  “Yes, Claire. That’s what you normally do before getting into bed. What’s wrong with that? There’s plenty of hot water left for you.”

  “Now I can’t go.” Pearl stomped her foot and pouted.

  “Go where?”

  “Your mother told your daughter what a lovely idea it’d be to go and watch the movie with the other children and have popcorn and candy.”

  “Not popcorn and candy?” He threw his towel on the bed and grabbed Pearl, tickling her belly and making her laugh.

  Pearl flailed her arms. “Daddy, stop. Take me there. Please, Daddy.”

  He stopped and grabbed her nose. “Okay, munchkin. Just let me get my clothes on. I’ll take you.”

  Claire looked at them both. How silly it was for him to get dressed to do something she could. She’d take the car, though. She was never particularly fond of walking in the night up to the house. Daylight was different. Spooky owls and weird night creatures weren’t out in the sunshine. Now she sounded like her daughter who feared dolls that ate out your eyes.

  “Oh, you’re ready for bed, Alex. I can drive her. Go wash up and get your pajamas on, Pearl. I’ll wait for you.”

  Pearl skipped off to the bathroom and shut the door.

  “Claire, I don’t mind. Really.”

  “No, Alex. I’ll make sure Mallory is all right. She seemed so sketchy earlier with all her weird talk about Jason. I think she needs time to just—” She stopped abruptly, thinking and hoping Alex wasn’t comparing their situation to Mallory’s. He’d never asked Claire about anything. Especially about the night of Frieda’s funeral. She’d been copied on an email from the hotel on Mission Point. They refunded the charges to the credit card because of the storm and the ferry being shut down. They alluded to the fact she never checked in. She certainly didn’t want him to ask about it now.

  “She needs to take a chill pill. Jason loves her and I know he’s going to make things right. If she’s only patient, I know everything will be fine.”

  “You think that?” He stood in front of her, searching her eyes.

  “I hope with everything I can that it will be.”

  Pearl flung open the door. Her smile was bigger than her face, and the yellow cupcake on the front of her shirt looked like just what the party needed.

  “Okay, little girl…ahem…I mean big girl. Let’s get to that party.” Claire took her arm and escorted her out.

  As they approached the living room, it was eerily quiet. The chatter from a couple of minutes ago had transitioned into silence. Alexander was lying on one of the sofas, snoring. Claire tapped Pearl’s shoulder and put her finger to her mouth to stay quiet. She imagined everyone else had gone to bed. One night down, a few more to go. She might be able to pull this off after all.

  “Come on. Don’t make a lot of noise. We don’t want to wake Grandpa.”

  She walked to the car with her daughter and drove the short distance to the guesthouse. Mallory opened the door and all the children pushed their way in front of her, whooping and hollering for Pearl to come in and join them.

  “I’m so glad you decided to bring her, Claire. She’s going to have a great time. We just finished popping our fifth bag.” The house smelled like a movie theater.

  “Sure. I don’t think I could’ve held her back. Say, are you doing any better?”

  The children cleared the doorway and disappeared into the living room.

  “I am. I just called him and he answered. That’s a good sign, right?”

  “Yeah, I think you’re just overthinking things, Mallory.”

  “Mom, come and start the movie, will ya? Carson’s eating all the Skittles and we don’t even have the movie in.” Bailey tugged on her mom’s arm.

  “Well, they’ll certainly keep my mind off Jason. I’m going to do s’mores during the trailers. Wanna come in and join the party? I could use some reinforcements if the sugar kicks in sooner than I think it will.”

  Claire teetered on the last step of the small porch. “No, I guess I’ll go back. I didn’t tell Alex I was staying. Maybe we’ll watch something, ourselves. Of course, with no sugar. I’ll probably be out by the end of the first scene. I’m really tired.”

  “Okay. Well, don’t worry about Pearl. She’ll be just fine.” She looked over to the rowdy kids and smiled. “I better get the movie going.”

  “Sure. And I know I gave Pearl a hard time, but really if she needs me, just call. It’s only a hop, skip, and jump back here. I don’t mind.”

  “Will do.” She smiled and shut the door.

  Claire walked to her car and was startled by a noise she heard.

  “Psst, Claire. Over here.”

  She searched in the darkness to see where the voice came from. It was hard to see. The moon was only the size of a fingernail that night. But she didn’t have to see him to know it was Colin calling for her.

  She walked to the side of the house where his voice came from. He stood next to a tall pine.

  “Colin, what in the world are you doing here? I thought you were at the house. You should be at the house.”

  “I saw you leave, and I followed you. I wanted to see you. Alone.”

  Claire looked around, making sure no one was around. Not so long ago they stood in the same forest and she lied to him. Told him there was someone else, when all she wanted to do was run away with him. To live as high on love as she could get. To run as fast as their feet could take them. Out of the reaches of his father and mother. To that cottage, where they laid, skin touching, and nothing mattered except how they felt complete with each other. To some people it took years, some never getting the chance—but they’d found each other. They were the lucky ones.

  Now, too much time had passed. Too many o
ther lives waited and depended on them to continue this bigger lie, this unfortunate mix-up of who they truly were and who they needed in order to survive. She took a deep breath and felt her soul take her feet over to the tree where he waited for her. Attached by the invisible string that linked their hearts.

  “Colin, if Alex—”

  Colin pulled her closer, drawing her into a kiss, passionately taking a breath while parting her lips and entering her mouth. Her core burned with obsession for him. Her fingers disappeared in his hair, and she pressed her eyes shut. Why was the only thing she lived for so forbidden? And felt so good and right?

  His lips traveled down her neck, suckling and kissing every inch of it. Her toes curled as a moan pressed from her throat. A bird took flight to the sky from a nearby tree, screeching and flapping its large wings. The sound scared Claire. Its noise broke their embrace and Colin looked into her eyes—he was drunk and dazed with arousal. He parted his lips and moved forward again. She gripped him by the shoulders.

  “Colin, we can’t do this. Our children are in that house. Our spouses are at the beach house, more than likely wondering where we are.”

  He buried his head in her neck. “Claire, I know I told you I wouldn’t contact you, and I’ve made good on my word. But fate keeps bringing us back together. Are we supposed to ignore it? Am I forced to see you with Alex and be all right when he pulls out your chair or listen as the bedroom door closes with both of you on the other side of it, knowing it’s me who’s supposed to be in there with you?”

  “I’ll find a reason to leave tomorrow and return to New York. I’ll say work needs me.”

  He pulled back from her, dead seriousness in his eyes. “Don’t leave me, Claire. Although it’s torture in the purest form to have you so close and not be able to touch you, at least I have you near. Don’t go. Please.”

  He got in his pocket and pulled out something. Claire couldn’t see what it was. He opened her hand and put a necklace in it. “I wanted to give this to you in New York, but didn’t. I want you to have it now.”