Dancing Queen (Zodiac Girls)

by Cathy Hopkins

  And not just her.

  I could see the dining table at home. Mum and Dad, Cissie and Eleanor and a place set for me. An empty place. An empty chair. No one would be able to eat, they’d be so choked, so sad. And my funeral. A coffin covered in white roses and yellow freesias. Or red roses and ivy? Hmm. I’ll decide later. But all the school will be there. Heads bowed. Someone would probably get a video together of the highlights of my life: when I won the badminton tournament. When I was nine and the Swan Queen in the Swan Lake ballet. When I played Joseph in the nativity play in junior school. It would be so moving for everyone to watch.

  What music should I have? Something light-hearted to remind people of some aspect of my character and make them smile? Or something sad with loads of violins to make them cry buckets? Who would get up to talk about me? Dad? Mrs Pierson? Lois? Not Lois. She wouldn’t be able to get any words out she’d be so gutted. It was making me cry just thinking about it. Cut off in her prime, everyone would say. She had everything to live for. She was going to be somebody, that one, but all the good ones die young, don’t they? Tears spilled out on to my cheeks at the thought of how moving it would be.

  Mario and Selene came out of the nurse’s office. I saw Mario look in the direction of my area, and he said something to Selene. She nodded, then he left and she came over. She looked amazing, with sea-green eyes in a pale face and the air of someone from a fantasy book about fairies or mermaids.

  ‘Hi there, Marsha. So how are you feeling?’ Selene asked.

  ‘Pretty awful. Numb really.’

  Selene looked at my wrist. ‘Numb? Don’t worry. The feeling will come back.’

  ‘I guess,’ I said. ‘It’s just I . . . I can’t take it in. It doesn’t seem fair. I’m trying to get my head round what’s happened, but it doesn’t seem real.’

  ‘Yes. A lot of girls say that when they find out,’ said Selene.

  ‘Do they? Oh . . .’ I didn’t know whether to let on that I knew how bad things were because she’d know that I’d been eavesdropping, but I decided why not. If I only had limited time, I may as well be as honest as I could for what was left of it. ‘Um. I know you know.’

  Selene smiled. ‘Of course I know. And I know you know.’

  I wasn’t sure that she got it. ‘No. I mean I know . . .’

  ‘And I know you know,’ said Selene.

  ‘So you know that I know that you know?’

  Selene looked slightly puzzled. ‘Yes. Of course. Um . . . what are we talking about?’

  ‘About me.’

  ‘Being Zodiac Girl, yes?’ asked Selene.

  ‘No. That I’m going to die.’

  ‘Die?’ asked Selene, and she sat on the end of the bed. ‘Oh that.’

  ‘Yes. That. So it’s true?’ A feeling of horror took me over as Selene nodded. I’d been half hoping that she was going to tell me that it was all a terrible mistake.

  ‘Well, we’re all going to die, aren’t we?’ said Selene. ‘There’s no avoiding it. One thing is for certain and that is that we all have to go sometime, but not many girls your age think about it. Most girls your age think they are invincible.’

  ‘Ah, but I know that I’m not.’

  ‘Well, that makes you a very wise person, Marsha.’

  ‘Only because I know.’

  Selene looked slightly confused. ‘Yes, you know. Marsha, er . . . what exactly is it you think you know?’

  I leant towards her so that the others wouldn’t hear. ‘That my injury is worse than anyone thought. That I may not have long.’

  ‘And what makes you think that?’

  ‘I . . . I heard you talking in . . .’ I pointed at the staff room.

  ‘Ah.’ Selene nodded. ‘You heard us talking.’ Then she laughed. I was shocked. She’s a rubbish counsellor if she laughs at dying patients, I thought.

  ‘You’re not being very sympathetic, whoever you are. Are you properly qualified?’ I asked.

  ‘No one knows more about feelings than I do, Marsha. If you’d looked properly at your zodiac phone, you will know that I am Selene Luna, also the moon.’

  Another from the nut club, I thought. I’d had enough of her, whoever she was. I was dying. I wanted proper sympathy with soft words, kind looks. Presents.

  ‘Look, Selene,’ I said, ‘I don’t know what the game is here with the planet theme or whatever. Is it a monthly thing that some mad doctor dreamed up? Like, let’s cheer up the patients by playing dress-up games? Like, last month you were all vegetables, this month you’ve all decided to be planets. It’s fine. It’s nice, it’s creative and I am sure some of the patients love it. It cheers them up, distracts them from their problems. We did something similar at our school one year and on the second Friday of each month we had to go to school dressed as a character out of history. But what is happening to me is major. I haven’t got time to play games. I am very, very ill.’

  ‘No, you’re not.’

  ‘Yes, I am.’

  ‘No. You’re not.’

  ‘Yes, I am. I heard you saying . . .’

  Selene rolled her eyes. ‘Typical Aries. Always eavesdropping. Always thinking people are talking about you. It’s not always about you, you know. There are other signs of the zodiac.’

  ‘What do you mean? It’s not always about me?’

  Selene glanced over at Amy. ‘We were talking about someone else. Not you.’

  I glanced over to Amy’s bed where she appeared to be asleep. ‘Ohmigod. Amy.’

  Selene nodded. ‘And we weren’t saying that she’s going to die either. She’s in for a tough time, but the condition she has is one of the few cancers that is manageable. People hear the word cancer, the big C, and think that it automatically means the end. It doesn’t. There are so many different types of it, some curable, some manageable, some sadly not. But Amy should come through. It will be a long haul. She has to keep fighting, but the hospital can help her.’

  I felt so stupid. Embarrassed. Ashamed. And relieved. All in the same moment. ‘So I am not going to die?’

  Selene shook her head. ‘Yes, you are. I thought we’d established that. Just not any time soon.’

  ‘So what are you doing here asking me about my feelings?’ I asked, then lowered my voice. ‘Shouldn’t you be over there with . . .’

  ‘Marsha. Don’t you get it? Didn’t Mario tell you? You are Zodiac Girl this month. Girls who are chosen to be Zodiac Girl are picked because either they are at a turning point in their life or because they have something to do. Sometimes both. We, the ten planets, are here to assist. My role is to help you get in touch with your feelings as they will guide you. So, once again, Marsha Leibowitz, how are you feeling?’

  My brain felt like it was going to explode. I wasn’t going to die. But that lovely gentle girl in the bed across the ward might. I could still go home, continue with my life. She might not be able to.

  ‘How am I feeling? How am I feeling? Confused. More confused than I ever have in my life? In fact . . . I think, I think . . . I may be having a mental breakdown.’

  Selene laughed again. She was really beginning to annoy me. Irritation, add that to the pot of feelings, I thought.

  ‘Breakdown? Excellent,’ said Selene. ‘Break down to break through. You’ll get there. I’m sure you will. Aries is a strong sign. And, don’t forget, we’re here to help.’

  With that, she got up to go. I watched her disappear down the ward and out of the double doors. So what am I supposed to do or feel? I asked myself as I glanced back at Amy who appeared to be sleeping peacefully.

  Chapter Eleven

  Entertainment

  After the excitement of the morning, the ward grew quiet and I grew fidgety once again. In my mind, I replayed the conversations that I’d had with Selene and Mario over and over. We’re here to help, they’d both said. In that case, I thought, I’ll have another look at my phone. I pulled it out and texted in:

  Am bored. Zodiac Girl needs entertainment.

  Then I
pressed SEND. Seconds later, the phone bleeped that I had a message.

  Am dispatching the troops. Had to wait until the planets were aligned in a harmonious way! Keep fighting. Mario

  Five seconds later, the double door to the ward burst open and in cycled Uri on his unicyle. He was wearing a white doctor’s coat and a red nose and he was juggling bed pans! My jaw must have fallen open – the whole effect was hysterical. Ohmigod, I thought as he cycled past, grinning and waving at me a second before catching a flying bed pan.

  ‘Uri,’ I called. ‘Stop it! You’ll get into trouble.’ Any minute now, security is going to come rushing in and haul him out, I thought.

  ‘Heard that you were bored,’ he said as he cycled backwards down the ward. Skye sat up to watch. Even Amy lifted her head up a little. The nurses came out of their little end room and watched with big smiles on their faces. Why aren’t they freaked out? I wondered as Uri got off his cycle and began to juggle mugs from the tea trolley. Four, six, eight in the air. He really was very good at it. After his juggling act, he disappeared to one of the sections I couldn’t see. I called Cheryl over.

  ‘What’s going on? Why haven’t you stopped him?’ I asked.

  ‘Why would we? He’s Uri. He’s a clown doctor. He comes in occasionally to entertain the children’s and teenage ward and he doesn’t half help cheer people up.’

  Bit of a coincidence if you ask me, I thought. Two seconds after I send out a cry for help, he appears. Hmm? In the next section, I could hear oos and ahs and laugher, and it wasn’t long before Uri appeared in our section. He made a low bow, which was very funny because he bent over to his knees then to his feet then his head seemed to dip past his toes and along the floor as if he was made of elastic before pulling himself back up. ‘For our resident Zodiac Girl and her friends,’ he said, and went over to Skye. He got out his stethoscope and put it on the top of her head.

  ‘Hmm,’ he said as he pretended to listen to her brain. ‘A very serious problem indeed. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. I think we need to do a transplant. A . . .’ He hesitated then produced a red nose similar to the one that he was wearing and put it over Skye’s nose. She laughed and Uri pulled a red balloon with something wrapped in a red shiny wrapper on the end of the string from behind her ear. He presented it to her and said, ‘Belgian chocolate, the very best.’

  Her face lit up. ‘My favourite,’ she said.

  Next he went along to Amy’s bed. This time he placed his stethoscope over her ear. She giggled.

  ‘Oh my,’ he said. ‘What have we here? I think we need to do a CAT scan to find the source of the problem.’ From one of his pockets, he produced a black toy cat. ‘Now lie back.’

  Amy giggled again and did as she was told while Uri waved the cat at arm’s length over her, from head to toe. ‘Now that is a CAT scan,’ he said. ‘Not scary at all, is it?’

  Amy shook her head and smiled. Uri stuffed the cat back into his pocket and then he began to writhe. It looked as if there were something alive under his coat. A small moving lump, like a little creature. ‘Oh. Oh,’ cried Uri as he squirmed about. ‘Someone wants to come and say hello.’ He pulled a white teddy bear out from nowhere. From thin air. It really was magic because the bear seemed to grow before our eyes. Uri placed the bear next to Amy on the pillow, then he leaned over and put his stethoscope on the bear’s chest and pretended to listen to its heartbeat.

  ‘Uh-huh. Uh-huh,’ he said, and looked at Amy. ‘This bear has been very ill and very fed up and away from his mummy and daddy bear. He needs a lot of cuddles and love. Can you give it to him?’

  Amy’s eyes glistened with tears. She cuddled the bear close to her and nodded.

  And then he came to me. ‘So. What for the resident Zodiac Girl? Are you missing anything?’

  ‘Um . . . I don’t know. Something to do in here?’

  ‘No. No, it’s not that. It’s . . .’ He placed his stethoscope on my arm. ‘Ah yes. You need a funny bone.’ He reached into his pockets and pulled out a toy dog bone, large and pink with yellow stars on it. He put it in my hand. ‘There, that will do the trick. If there are any more problems with the arm, I suggest that you take one of these three times a day.’

  I decided to play along with him even though it was all a bit childish. ‘And how am I supposed to swallow one of those three times a day?’

  ‘Like this,’ said Uri, and he took the bone, which was as big as my hand, stuffed it into his mouth – miraculously, it went in – swallowed and then opened his mouth to show me that it was empty.

  ‘How? Wha—? How did you do that?’

  Uri grinned. ‘Magic. Now look under your pillow.’

  I looked under my pillow and there was the bone. And with it were two miniature bones.

  Uri clapped his hands. ‘And, look, it’s had babies! Baby bones.’ He picked up the two small ones and tossed one to Skye and one to Amy, who were watching with big smiles on their faces. ‘Here’s a spare funny bone for you two in case you ever need one.’

  ‘Thanks,’ said Skye.

  ‘Yeah, thanks,’ said Amy.

  Uri turned back to me and produced a book of crossword puzzles from up his sleeve. ‘And these are for you to pass the time,’ he said.

  I took the book. I hate crossword puzzles. I tried not to look disappointed because all his other tricks had been really good.

  ‘Er . . . thanks.’

  ‘Only joking,’ he said, and he produced another packet wrapped in silver wrapping paper from his other sleeve.

  I ripped off the paper and gasped. It was a portable DVD player and some DVDs: High School Musical, Enchanted and St Trinian’s.

  ‘Wow, awesome,’ I said, because High School Musical is one of my all time favourite movies ever. ‘Thank you so much.’

  He indicated Amy and Skye. ‘Watch with your new friends. Friends are important wherever you are,’ he said, and then he robot danced backwards along the ward. His dancing was very comical and by this time, everyone in my section had big grins on their faces, including the tea lady.

  ‘Awesome,’ I said out loud as Uri did a comical fall then got up and staggered out through the ward doors.

  ‘Yeah,’ said Skye. ‘He’s cool.’

  When the atmosphere settled down again, I began to wonder. Was it a coincidence that he’d turned up seconds after my request? Maybe it wasn’t. But Cheryl had said that he came by occasionally so perhaps it just happened to coincide with my text message and was nothing to do with a request on my zodiac phone. Well, there’s only one way to find out if there’s any connection. I have to try my zodiac mobile again.

  I found the text option and typed in:

  Am starving for some decent food. Please send scrumptious supplies.

  I pressed SEND and off the message went.

  Nothing happened. I kept looking hopefully at the double doors but the only people who came through were a doctor, a nurse and a cleaner. I felt my spirits sink again. So Uri’s clown-doctor visit had been a coincidence after all. I shifted about and tried to get comfortable. Amy looked like she was asleep and Skye was listening to her iPod so I started to watch a DVD. After about ten minutes, the doors opened. A big jolly man bustled in with what looked like a basket of goodies on his left arm.

  ‘Hey, Joe,’ called Cheryl.

  ‘Hey there, Nursie,’ he said, and began to dole out little packages in brown paper wrappings. When he got to our section, he gave me a wink.

  ‘I believe you called,’ he said.

  ‘I . . . I er. . .’

  ‘Mario is your guardian, yes?’ said the man.

  ‘Um, yeah, sort of, er . . . I’m new to all this . . .’ I began.

  ‘Zodiac Girl?’ he asked.

  I nodded and the man came and leant over me so that the others couldn’t hear him. ‘I’m Jupiter, but people call me Joe,’ he whispered. ‘Best not to let on about the planet connection or else people might think you’re mad. Just know that Mario is on your case and we’re all here for yo
u and will do what we can.’

  ‘Oh. OK, thank you,’ I said. ‘And, yes, I sort of know about the planet thing. Theme of the month, yeah?’

  ‘Theme? No. But never mind. Mario’s the one who has to explain it all.’

  ‘He did say something about the planets being here in human form but . . . you can’t have come from a planet. That’s impossible, isn’t it?’

  ‘Why?’ said Joe. ‘Do you know where you came from?’

  ‘A village down the road.’

  ‘I mean before that. Before you were here as Marsha?’

  ‘Before I was born?’

  Joe nodded.

  ‘Um, no, course not. No one does.’

  ‘Well, maybe you were from a star,’ said Joe. ‘A star up in the sky.’

  ‘Like an alien?’

  ‘No – like energy. But enough of this kind of talk. I’m not here to give a lecture about where we’ve come from. Just know that there are many things we don’t understand, Marsha – many things defy logic – don’t close your mind to anything or say something isn’t possible. Now, I understand that you don’t approve of the hospital food so far, yes?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘So what do you fancy?’

  ‘I love hot chocolate. And I love blueberry muffins. They’re my favourite. Dad always gets them for me when I’m not well.’

  Joe beamed. ‘Well, isn’t that a coincidence, because I just happen to have . . .’ He produced a muffin and a paper mug filled with a steaming liquid. He handed both to me and tapped the side of his nose as if to say that we had a secret between us.

  As he went off down the ward distributing his goodies, I sipped my drink. It was the best hot chocolate I had ever tasted. Thick and creamy with just the right amount of sweetness. And the muffin was melt-in-your-mouth fabulous.