by Karin Baine
‘But I can’t have kids. That won’t ever change.’
‘Aren’t you jumping the gun here? I only asked that we could keep seeing each other.’ He managed to coax a wry smile from her. They both knew he wanted more than that.
‘I know. I’m simply thinking ahead.’
‘I’m not saying I wouldn’t love to be a father again some day but if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. If the time comes when we would want a family, there are other options available. I would be more distraught at the thought of not having you in my life. When Leah and Mollie died, I went with them. For five years I’ve led a zombie-like existence. I was nothing more than an animated corpse cursed with life, forced to go through the motions of the daily grind. Then you came along and showed me what it was to love again. I can live without any more children but I can’t live without you, Jessica.’ He reached out and took her shaking hand in his. It wasn’t only Jessica who was afraid of rejection. He wasn’t sure if this—or he—was enough.
‘Just so you know, if you turn me down again I’m going home to lock myself in a dark room with a family-size bar of chocolate. If I go into a sugar coma, it will be entirely your fault.’
‘No pressure, then?’
‘No pressure.’ He was trying to keep the atmosphere light, since there was a danger of one, or both, of them dissolving into a snivelling mess. Given the burning in his throat and the moisture gathering in his eyes, there was every chance he would crack first. He couldn’t lose her.
* * *
Maybe it was because she was in her comfort zone, maybe she was tired and emotional, or perhaps Rob Campbell was too damn understanding, but Jessica was starting to believe this could happen. If he really didn’t think her infertility was an issue, it seemed only her insecurity was keeping them apart. She loved him, he loved her, but she was scared of leaving herself open again.
‘Seriously, how can this ever work, Rob? We’ve got more baggage between us than the luggage department at Debenhams.’
Rob’s hearty chuckle did more to warm Jessica than her fifteen-tog duvet had. ‘True, but who else would have us?’
‘A family man without a family and a feeble, barren excuse for a woman. You’re right. If we put that on a dating site, we’d be lucky to get a hit.’
‘Ahem. Feeble is not a word I would ever use to describe you. Stubborn, pig-headed, temperamental, compassionate and beautiful, perhaps.’ He stroked his thumb across her fingers. The tenderness coming from such a big man always surprised her. He’d never once portrayed the oaf which should have accompanied his height and build.
It was only one of the many things she loved about him. It was her own fear which stopped her from admitting it.
‘Thank you.’ Words could never fully express her astonishment that he still wanted to be with her despite everything she’d told him.
‘You’re wrong about one thing, though. I do have a family.’
‘I know you do. I meant one of your own.’ Tact wasn’t one of her best qualities but he’d mentioned his parents so infrequently in the time she’d known him, she’d forgotten they existed.
‘Thanks to you, I got back in touch with them last week. They want to meet up.’
‘That’s fantastic. I’m so pleased for you.’ It would be good for him to spend time with his family. They had a lot to talk over and he might finally get some closure. She had a strange ache to be a part of that.
‘I’ve told them about us and they want to meet you too.’
This was huge. Now there were no more excuses. She had to decide if she was going to take the leap of faith with Rob, or play it safe. As scary as it sounded to be someone’s other half again, she owed it to herself to try.
She swallowed hard. ‘I’d love to.’
‘Say that again,’ Rob demanded.
‘I said, I’d love to meet your parents.’
‘Oh. Sorry, I thought you’d finally admitted you loved me.’ He wasn’t that good an actor that she was convinced he’d misheard her.
She hadn’t actually revealed that piece of vital information to him yet and she wasn’t inclined to give it away so easily. ‘Nope. I definitely said I would love to spend time with your parents.’
‘Try again.’ He pulled her into his arms and whispered into her ear, sending shivers tiptoeing across the back of her neck.
This time there was no denying how she felt about him. ‘I love you.’
‘Good, because I love you too.’ Rob dipped his head and covered her lips with his. The kiss was a promise that everything was going to be all right.
Jessica had finally found her cure.
EPILOGUE
‘IT’S TIME.’ JESSICA gave Rob a gentle shake beside her. She was propped up against the headboard of the bed, trying to relieve the back pain, but it was getting to the point where she would soon need his help. There’d been something special in the quiet time between her contractions, knowing the child she’d thought she’d never have was on the way, but Rob wouldn’t have wanted to miss a second of this.
‘Uh-huh,’ he mumbled into his pillow, still half asleep. With all the running around he’d been doing lately, he was bound to be exhausted. On top of his day job, he’d been attending prenatal classes with her and decorating the nursery. Not to mention all of the cooking and cleaning duties he’d undertaken since she’d started waddling into the final weeks of pregnancy.
She loved this man so much it hurt. Literally.
Another contraction started to take hold, tightening her belly and stealing her breath away. She squeezed her eyes shut and waited for it to pass.
‘Jessica?’
She could hear her husband scrabbling to sit up beside her and the flick of a light switch as he finally came to. Once the pain began to subside she opened her eyes again to see his panic-stricken face staring back. ‘The baby’s coming.’
Rob leaped out of bed, clad only in a pair of black jersey shorts, and did a circuit of the room. ‘Okay. Your bag’s packed, we have your birth plan, I’ve got the hospital on speed dial...let’s go.’
He was making her dizzy, pacing up and down the sidelines with the intensity of an athletics coach at a race meet. Any minute now he’d pull out a stopwatch and time her contractions, pushing her to beat her personal best.
‘We’ve got plenty of time yet. I’m going to run a bath, have a cup of tea and relax as much as I can.’ The contractions were far enough apart for her to indulge. There was no point heading to the delivery ward until labour had progressed further.
‘Do you want me to phone the guys?’ The way he said it left her in no doubt that having a camera crew here was the last thing he wanted. Her too. Since the success of the initial documentary series and the follow-up piece on getting the MRI scanner at the hospital, she’d started charting their road on IVF too. There were so many people going through the same process she thought it was important to record the trials and tribulations along the way. Rob had been supportive thus far but even she knew where to draw the line.
‘They can wait. This is our time.’ She didn’t want to share it with anyone other than her husband.
‘Good. I’ll put this in the car and phone the hospital to let them know we’ll be coming in.’ Rob pulled on a pair of jeans and grabbed the overnight bag Jessica had ready to go.
He paused by the door and turned to look at her with the biggest smile spread across his face. ‘This is really happening?’
‘Yes. It’s happening. As soon as you help your pregnant wife out of bed.’ Jessica swung her legs around to the edge of the bed and with Rob’s assistance heaved herself up into a standing position.
‘You need to take it easy.’ He frowned as she took a few steps towards the bathroom.
‘I think I can manage turning the bath taps on without coming to too mu
ch harm.’ She shrugged off his concerns and shooed him out of the way. For someone who’d spent so long fighting her own battles she was still trying to come to terms with having a partner who looked after her so well. He’d been so attentive from the second they saw those two precious blue lines on the pregnancy test, Jessica knew their baby was going to feel as loved as she did.
These past two years with Rob had been the best of her life. He’d changed her from a relationship-wary, hardened singleton into a gushing romantic. Every day with him was filled with love and confirmation she’d made the right move in taking that leap of faith with him.
Things had progressed quickly between them once she’d finally admitted her feelings for him and let go of her fear. Meeting his parents had been emotional for all involved but they had welcomed her and Rob both into their lives. Talking everything through with them seemed to have finally brought him some closure and he’d proposed to Jessica within six months. By that stage she had no qualms whatsoever about the depth of his love for her and vice versa. After wasting so much time locked in the past they’d both been keen to marry quickly and make the most of what life had to offer.
Now they were about to have the happy ending they both deserved.
Rob insisted on making the tea whilst she walked the halls of what was about to become their family home, trying to ease the pain in her lower back. She managed only a few sips before she was forced to abandon it. Within seconds she was doubled over and squeezing Rob’s fingers until they turned blue as another contraction took hold.
‘Are you okay?’ He waited until she’d stopped crushing his hand before asking. She could tell he was only moments away from bundling her into the car, regardless of her protests. This was definitely the anxious husband and soon-to-be father heading into the delivery room with her rather than the logical doctor. In some ways it was comforting to know he was still as overwhelmed by the situation as she was even though he wasn’t a first-time dad.
‘Just uncomfortable. I think I might climb into that bath now.’ She hobbled back towards the bathroom with her Rob shadow trailing behind her to find her bubble bath lit by candlelight.
‘I thought it would help keep you relaxed.’ Rob unnecessarily justified his own thoughtfulness as she kissed him on the cheek.
‘Thank you but I draw the line at whale song in case you were thinking about it. It’s a bit too close to home under the circumstances.’ As if to prove her point, she was forced to ask him to help her struggle out of her nightie and into the water. She’d loved every aspect of being pregnant but she would be glad when she could see her feet again.
‘You’re beautiful,’ he said, kneeling at the side of the bath. Every time he said it she believed him a little more.
‘Do you think the person who donated her eggs realises how much she’s given us?’ Jessica stroked her bump, rising out of the bubbles like an island in the mist. After revealing her deepest, darkest secret to Rob he’d recommended counselling for her to come to terms with her fertility issues. It was during these sessions she was reminded she still had options.
Things had deteriorated so badly between her and Adam that she’d never explored other avenues. They never would’ve survived the process they’d gone through to get here today. Her bond with Rob had been strong enough for them to face all the hurdles together.
Since marrying Rob the urge to have his baby had become all-consuming. They’d considered adoption but when it was explained to her there was still a chance of her carrying Rob’s biological child herself she’d been determined to see it through. He’d been worried the complicated process of IVF and donor eggs would prove too stressful for her but this was one time the odds had worked in her favour. The donor eggs, fertilised with Rob’s sperm in a lab, had been successfully implanted in her womb first time around.
‘Whoever it was deserves to be as happy as we are. This is everything.’ Rob rested his hand gently on her belly and leaned over to kiss her.
Here with her husband, waiting for the arrival of their baby, Jessica no longer saw herself as a victim. She was one of life’s winners.
* * *
Rob felt Jessica’s abdomen tighten at the same time as she flinched away from him. He hated seeing her in pain and if he could’ve gone through this for her, he would have. She’d been so strong and determined this far, he knew it would be worth it in the end when they were holding their baby.
He held her hand as she panted through another contraction. ‘Okay, water babies. They’re getting closer. I think it’s time to think about getting out.’
Jessica’s grimace eventually softened into a grin at the same time the circulation came back in his fingers. ‘I think Junior’s of the same opinion.’
Rob grabbed a towel and helped her out of the tub. It didn’t matter how relaxed she was about the birth, or the fact he was a qualified doctor, he would be relieved when they got to the hospital. There were so many possible complications in pregnancy, not to mention her chequered medical history, she would be safer in that environment than a remote house in the middle of the countryside.
‘If he’s as strong-minded as his mother, he’ll be here in no time.’
‘He? Do you know something I don’t?’
‘A figure of speech, I assure you, but Junior does lend itself to the possibility of a son...’ He was teasing her. They’d decided against finding out the sex, having been blessed with this chance to complete their family. Rob didn’t care if they were having a boy or girl as long as mother and baby were healthy.
‘Hmm. We’ll see. She could be as reluctant to join the outside world as her father had been.’ As usual, Jessica parried back. Marriage certainly hadn’t snuffed out that spark between them. There was never a dull moment with her in his life and he often wondered how he’d survived on his own for so long.
He’d never imagined he’d be given the chance to have this again and he would cherish every moment he had with Jessica and the baby.
‘Er... Rob?’
It took only a second for him to register the shock in her eyes and the puddle of water between her feet and what it meant. ‘Your waters have broken?’
‘Yes.’ For the first time since she’d woken him there was a hint of panic in her voice. Unsurprising when his own stomach was flip-flopping with anticipation of their imminent arrival.
‘Okay. We got this.’ It was affirmation to himself as well as Jessica that, come what may, they would get through these next hours together.
* * *
Jessica was lost in those blue eyes. Every struggle in her life had been worth it to get to this perfect moment.
‘He’s beautiful,’ Rob whispered, his voice cracking as he stroked his son’s head.
‘He takes after his daddy.’ With the mop of dark hair and brilliant blue eyes, he was definitely Rob’s mini-me.
‘Given the short time it took him to get here, I would say he has his mother’s determination too.’ Rob smiled and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
He’d held her hand the whole way through without flinching, even during the sweary, shouty stage of her labour. Thankfully, it had been a relatively straightforward delivery, so quick there hadn’t been time for any pain relief other than the gas and air. At least it meant she was fully compos mentis to enjoy every second of this miracle.
‘I can’t believe he’s really ours.’ She might not be his genetic parent but after carrying him for nine months she was every inch his mother.
‘We’ll need to get used to it soon. The three of us are going to be together for a long time.’
Jessica watched as he cradled their baby in his arms, smiling and cooing and totally besotted. She counted herself very lucky indeed. Rob had healed her heart and now, with a family of her own, she finally felt complete.
* * * * *
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ISBN-13: 9781488009419
A Kiss to Change Her Life
Copyright © 2016 by Karin Baine
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
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