Tie the Knot in Good Hope

by Cindy Kirk

  Hadley hadn’t settled for less than she deserved.

  Neither would she.

  Twenty-Seven

  “Are you positive you don’t want to dance?” Concern filled Lindsay’s blue eyes even as her lips lifted in an enticing smile. “Not even to a slow song that simply involves swaying to the music?”

  “You go ahead.” Owen had hoped the ache that had taken up residence in his chest during the wedding ceremony would ease soon after they left the church. But he couldn’t get the image of Mindy walking down the church aisle for the last time out of his head. “I’m sure there are any number of men here who’d be happy to dance with you.”

  The hurt that flashed in her eyes had Owen wishing he’d chosen his words more carefully.

  He didn’t know how he’d have made it through the ceremony without her. As if sensing his distress, she’d carried the conversation on the short drive to Rakes Farm where the reception was being held.

  Once inside the barn, she’d been his ray of sunshine in a world gone suddenly dark. He wished he could give her the one thing she’d asked for this evening, but he’d never felt less like dancing.

  Lindsay studied him for a long moment, then her expression softened. “You need some time alone.”

  Owen nodded. The wedding had opened his eyes. There was no way he could marry Lindsay. Not unless he wanted to fall even more deeply in love with her than he was now.

  “I won’t be long.”

  He blinked, then watched in startled surprise as she strode several feet and tapped Ethan on the shoulder. The man turned, drink in hand.

  They looked as if they belonged together. Her so blond and pretty in her cherry-red dress. Ethan with his dark suit and hundred-dollar haircut.

  The green knife of jealousy twisted in Owen’s belly, but he forced a smile when Ethan glanced his way. It was as if the guy was asking his permission. Owen’s slight nod resulted in Ethan offering his arm to Lindsay and leading her onto the dance floor.

  “They make a nice-looking couple.”

  Owen turned to find Ruby, margarita glass in hand, smiling up at him.

  Jeremy’s grandmother might be in her eighties, but the woman had more pep than he did tonight. Only moments before, she’d been shimmying on the dance floor with her grandson.

  Before that, she’d been working the margarita machine, which appeared to be a particular favorite among her and her cohorts. Out of the corner of his eye, Owen spotted Gladys and Katherine near the cake table, margaritas in hand.

  For not the first time that evening, Owen had the feeling he was under observation. The crazy thought was dispelled when schoolteacher Etta Hawley, who stood nearby, waved wildly and hurried over to greet the two women.

  “Don’t you think?” Ruby pressed.

  Owen hadn’t heard what she’d said before that. He offered a polite smile, hoping that would satisfy her.

  The older woman, champagne-colored hair the same shade as her dress, tapped his leg with her ornate cane. “Are you listening to me, boy?”

  Owen reined in his irritation. The anger gnawing at him wasn’t directed at her, but at himself. How could he have let himself fall in love with Lindsay?

  “Why is she with Ethan?” Ruby demanded.

  “I didn’t feel like dancing.” Owen watched Lindsay smile up at her partner. Would they eventually end up together?

  Breathing became difficult as he imagined Ethan kissing Lindsay, touching her…

  “It’s past time to let her know how you feel.”

  Owen jerked his attention back to the older woman.

  “You love Lindsay. I see it every time you look at her.” Ruby patted his arm. “Tell her how you feel.”

  Forcing a cough, Owen offered an apologetic look. He gestured toward the bar. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get something to drink.”

  Under Ruby’s watchful gaze, Owen strolled to the bar and ordered a club soda with lime. He stationed himself behind a large plant draped in lights. Sipping his drink, he contemplated his next step.

  There was only one option. He would give her what she’d said she wanted.

  “Hey, you.”

  He whirled, and there she was, cheeks flushed from dancing and looking as pretty as a strawberry parfait.

  “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

  “I grabbed something to drink.” Owen lifted his glass. “Club soda. Let me get one for you.”

  He turned toward the bar but was stopped by her hand on his arm.

  “Owen.” The way she said his name wrapped around his heart like a caress. “I know seeing Brynn walk down that aisle was difficult for you.”

  They’d avoided talking about Mindy on the drive to the farm. He wondered why Lindsay felt the need to bring her up now.

  Owen was spared the need to respond when a joyous peal of laughter rent the air. He turned and saw Hadley laughing, with David’s arm looped around her shoulders.

  Lindsay smiled at the happy couple. “The two of them are so in love.”

  She’d given him the perfect opening, and Owen took it. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and…you were right.”

  “I like the sound of that.” Her voice took on a teasing tone. “What was I right about this time?”

  Before he could answer, she lifted the glass from his hand and took a long sip. “Thank you. I guess I was thirsty.”

  Owen ignored her red, moist lips and tamped down the surge of desire. He would give Lindsay what she’d told him she wanted, and she would be satisfied. So would he.

  “When we first discussed your pregnancy, you said it was best if we simply remained friends. Once the baby was born, we would discuss how to share parenting duties.”

  A self-conscious-sounding laugh escaped her. “What are you saying, Owen?”

  “I shouldn’t have proposed.” He gestured with his glass. “We definitely shouldn’t have slept together. You were right about that, too. Sex muddies the waters.”

  “Sex.”

  Something in the way she said the word had him hesitating. And the look in her eyes…

  Take it back. Take it back, the voice inside Owen’s head urged. But he couldn’t do that, not with his very survival at stake.

  “It’s what you want,” he reminded her, his palms turning sweaty. “I’m giving you what you said you want.”

  Lindsay said nothing for a long moment. When she finally did speak, her voice was calm, though her eyes held a bleakness that tugged at his heart. “I-I appreciate your honesty.”

  “I didn’t mean to mislead you.” What did that even mean? And why did he feel like he was digging his own grave with every word?

  She swallowed convulsively. “It’s always best to be honest.”

  The tightness in his chest eased slightly. She understood. Of course she understood. Without him having to go into detail, she recognized the rightness of this course of action. “Good. I’m glad we got that settled. If you’re still interested in dancing—”

  “I’m not.” Her voice cracked. “I want you to take me home.”

  His heart began to pound as he gestured to the now crowded dance floor. Owen licked suddenly dry lips. “The party is just getting started.”

  Lindsay’s gaze shifted in time to see David sweep Hadley into an exaggerated dip that had the couple once again dissolving into laughter.

  Instead of answering Owen, she turned and headed for the door.

  Lindsay barely spoke on the drive to her apartment. Owen’s attempts to further clarify his position seemed to make matters only worse.

  “I’ll walk you to the door.” When he reached for his door handle, Lindsay placed a hand on his arm.

  This was the first she’d touched him since they left the barn. His heart leaped. Hopeful, he turned toward her.

  “Stay in the truck.” The words sliced like cold metal into him. Her face held lines of strain, while her eyes reflected controlled fury. “I can’t believe I didn’t see what you were doing.”


  Owen rubbed the back of his neck. “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re not over the pain of losing Mindy. I’m not even sure you’re over Tessa.” She bit her bottom lip. “I need to rethink this whole joint-custody thing. Your behavior makes me wonder if you’re only pretending to love our daughter, the same way you pretended to care for me.”

  “How can you say that?” Startled, Owen stared incredulously. “How can you accuse me of not loving our child?”

  “You’ve been courting me ever since you found out about the baby, saying you want to be there for me, kissing me, sleeping with me.” She closed her eyes for a heartbeat. When they opened, they were ice. “As soon as we had sex, you pulled back and pushed me away, just like before. Maybe it’s because Mindy’s memories still overwhelm you, but do you think that will stop once the baby is here? I will not let my daughter feel second best or be pushed aside.”

  “Lindsay”—Owen heard the panic in his own voice—“you know me.”

  “I thought I knew you.” Her voice was heavy with disappointment. “Now, I’m not sure.”

  “Please.” He started to reach for her but pulled his hand back. “Don’t throw our friendship away.”

  “I’ll always be your friend.” As Lindsay pushed open the passenger door, she sounded incredibly weary. “It may have to be from a distance, though. I won’t make the mistake of letting you get too close a third time.”

  “I’m giving you all I can, Lin. I care about you and our child. I want to provide for you both, to take care of you both. So maybe I’m not some Prince Charming who believes life is like a movie. There’s more to a relationship than roses and big, romantic gestures. We’re having a baby, and I’m offering you support, security and respect. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

  By the time he finished, he was out of breath. He could tell by the set of her jaw that she wasn’t swayed.

  “What you’re offering does count, Owen.” Steely determination replaced the sadness in her eyes. “But I won’t apologize for protecting my child. And I won’t apologize for wanting the fairy tale.”

  She shut the door without waiting for a response.

  He rolled down the window. “You’re drawing a hard line in the sand, Lindsay. Think about our baby. Think about our future.”

  She didn’t turn around, but the words tossed over her shoulder carried on the evening breeze. “As long as you’re unable to make peace with your past, we don’t have a future.”

  The next morning, Lindsay woke early from a fitful sleep. Instead of taking the direct route to the church, she strolled through the downtown area. This gave her the opportunity to see how the homecoming displays in the town square were holding up to the wind.

  The frigid air had her not lingering long. Her thoughts kept returning to Owen. She told herself if he didn’t return her love, it was his loss. A sentiment much easier to embrace in the light of day than last night.

  By the time Lindsay reached the church’s front steps, the service had already started. Standing in the back, she let her gaze sweep the room. She spotted Cassie halfway up the aisle.

  When Lindsay reached her sister, she found Cassie and her daughter sharing a hymnal, while Axl stood on the seat of the pew. The older boys were nowhere in sight.

  Lindsay tapped her sister on the shoulder, and Cassie responded by scooting closer to Dakota to make room.

  Her niece, a pretty girl with dark hair and her grandmother’s hazel eyes, wiggled her fingers in welcome and continued to sing.

  There was no opportunity for Lindsay to speak with her sister and niece. Knowing his congregation preferred a faster- paced experience, Dan kept the service moving forward like a well-oiled machine.

  Lindsay had hoped to relax and let her mind drift during the sermon. After only a minute, the word acceptance caught her attention.

  “If we view ourselves as unworthy, we act in that manner. If we see ourselves as a victim, we tend to let others victimize us.” Dan’s gaze seemed to be directed directly at her.

  Lindsay knew his ability to make you believe he was speaking only to you was one of the young minister’s gifts.

  “By our beliefs, we set ourselves up for success or failure.” Dan spoke with a fervor that said these weren’t simply words to him. “Many of these beliefs start in childhood. We don’t leave them there. They come with us, many staying with us our entire lives.”

  She and Cassie exchanged quick glances.

  Was her sister recalling Bernie’s ugly words?

  Was the fact her parents had doted on Cassie the reason Lindsay had always viewed herself as second best?

  “These false beliefs beat you down. You feel lost and alone. But you aren’t alone. God loves and accepts you as you are, with all your flaws and imperfections.”

  Cassie’s gaze remained straight ahead.

  Lindsay took her sister’s hand and gave it a squeeze. They both had their demons.

  After a moment, Cassie squeezed back.

  “The good news is the slate has been wiped clean. Your sins have been erased permanently. No matter what you’ve done, you are forgiven.” Dan’s gaze swept the congregation. “You are worthy of love and respect. You should demand nothing less.”

  The minister’s words had the ache in Lindsay’s heart lessening. She felt more at peace than she had since learning she was pregnant.

  The reality was, for Owen to love her—or anyone—he had to risk the possibility of future pain. It was clear that was something he wasn’t ready to do. Not now, anyway. Perhaps never.

  Lindsay felt sorry for him. Because she knew he would never find true happiness in the present until he took that step.

  Twenty-Eight

  “Where are you headed in such a hurry?” Wayde wiped his hands on a grease rag as Owen strode through the garage.

  “Be back later.” Owen kept walking as if he was a man on a mission.

  Which he was, if retrieving an item from his daughter’s room qualified as a mission. It spoke to how low he’d sunk that a text from Fin on a Wednesday morning was a high point of his day.

  When her message had come through, Owen had been staring at his computer screen saver. He couldn’t seem to focus. He didn’t trust himself to work on anyone’s vehicle. Heck, he didn’t even trust himself to order parts. His mind was too preoccupied with Lindsay.

  He’d decided to give her a few days, maybe a week, before approaching her. Hopefully, they’d talk and things would get back to normal. The notion struck him as foolishly optimistic.

  Lindsay had drawn her line in the sand.

  As had he.

  Once home, Owen went straight to Mindy’s bedroom. Fin had assured him that they wouldn’t be selling the personal item, merely putting it on display. The item would be used to open up dialogue with customers about Mindy and the store, as well as the work done by Your Wish Fulfilled.

  Owen decided to take the stuffed octopus Tessa had given Mindy for her sixth birthday. Odessa was pink with blue and orange polka dots and long eyelashes. Tessa had brought the silly, stuffed creature back from a business trip to Vancouver.

  With chagrin, he recalled saying something about it being a ridiculous gift when Tessa had proudly showed it to him. As if a switch had been flipped, the light in her eyes had been extinguished.

  It had been a cheap shot. He’d been angry with her about the conference. He and Mindy hardly saw her, and when she did have free time, she’d chosen to spend it away from them. Or that’s how it had seemed at the time.

  Looking back, Owen realized the tighter he’d tried to hold on to Tessa, the more she’d pulled back. From him. From their daughter.

  As his fingers stroked Odessa’s soft tentacles, he reconsidered. The octopus had been in Mindy’s arms when she passed away. He’d considered burying it with his daughter, but had changed his mind when Tessa hadn’t shown up for Mindy’s funeral.

  Supposedly, his ex-wife had come down with some sort of virus. He remembered thinking how
, once again, Tessa hadn’t been there for their daughter. Or for him.

  His gaze swept Mindy’s room, searching for something small. A wooden box with engraved colored pictures of princesses caught his eye. He froze at the sight of pink rose petals scattered across the top of the box.

  Gladys’s words replayed in his head.

  After a moment’s hesitation, he scooped up the petals. Staring down at them in his open palm, he inhaled the sweet fragrance.

  His gaze shifted back to the box. He’d made so many mistakes.

  The petals will point you in the right direction.

  With trembling fingers, Owen opened the box. Colored strips of paper tumbled out.

  He opened one that started with, “The five people I’m thankful for…”

  In her childish penmanship, Mindy had written, “Jesus. Daddy. Mommy. Brynn. Fin.”

  Mommy jumped out at him. Though she’d rarely mentioned Tessa the last year of her life—at least to him—Mindy had never forgotten her mother. Or stopped loving her.

  Owen swallowed hard against the lump in his throat and opened a sunny-yellow sheet. This one had a half-formed smiley face. Mindy had drawn in an upturned mouth and completed the sentence, “The best part of my day was…being a flower girl and wearing a princess dress.”

  This, Owen realized, breathing past the sharp, stabbing pain in his chest, had been written the night of Fin and Jeremy’s wedding. Written right before his daughter went to sleep...and never woke up.

  With careful, deliberate movements, Owen returned the papers to the box, closed the lid and set it back on the bedside table.

  In desperate need of fresh air, he’d reached the door before remembering why he’d come home.

  Owen cast a wide glance around the room. Next to the bed, he spotted Mindy’s sparkly, pink cowboy boots. There wasn’t anything in the room that reflected his daughter better than the flashy boots she’d loved.

  Fin had instructed him to leave the item with whoever was handling the shop when he arrived. Owen wasn’t sure what to think when he spotted Gladys behind the counter.