A Witch, a Fairy, and an Esper

by Ross Homer

  She was Fae so she had to know about magic. I answered, “I don’t imagine you’d believe they’re the results of good genes?”

  Scoffing, she replied, “Right. Who’s your surgeon?”

  “Give it up, Brenda. There was no surgeon involved at all. These are what nature gave me and no, they are not enhanced. They are as real as us standing here talking about my breasts instead of the poor young woman in the other room.”

  Nissa got on my case. “Just tell her, Jo. Stop this shit.”

  “Alright. I use a touch of magic to keep my girls like this. Okay? Nissa, too. And Elsa. We big girls need to stand together.” I put my arm around Nissa’s waist and pulled her to me, hip to hip.

  Brenda looked down. “I feel like an idiot asking this, but I guess there’s not much you can do for me, then? Three kids and age have caught up with what little I had in the first place.”

  I had to laugh. “We’re still talking about boobs? Gaia! What a bunch of teenagers we’ve become. But…what would you like? A couple of cups larger? Keep what you have but pull them back up?”

  I couldn’t believe that one of the best ME’s in King County could blush but damned if she didn’t turn bright red.

  She whispered, “A little of both? A cup and, sure. Tighten me up a little?”

  “Take off your bra.”

  In a second Nissa and Brenda Hall got to see magic at work as I uttered a small incantation and all three of us watched her grow and become more like she was when she was young.

  Looking at herself in a mirror, she said, “My boyfriend’s going to shit when he sees me. Wow! You could make a fortune doing this. Ahh…how long will it last?”

  “Until you go into the ground yourself. This is a permanent spell. Enjoy the new girls.”

  She stroked herself and then put her shirt back on. “Trust me. I will even at the expense of buying new bras.” She sat back at her desk. “Grab those two chairs and I’ll tell you what we found.”

  We did and sat in front of her desk, students waiting for the teacher.

  “The young woman was Sian Angelo, aged twenty-two. She was a student at the University and believe it or not, had a short record. She got popped for solicitation last year. That’s how we ID’d her so quickly. She was in very good shape, not a virgin and had never had children. She’d been raped and we have a sample of DNA from her attacker. I’d be willing to bet it was Bob Albertson. We’ll know in another hour or so.

  “Had he just dumped her someplace instead of killing her, I feel certain that she could have survived her injuries. But to continue. From the looks of her torso and face, Albertson took out a lot of anger on her. He beat her badly. She has a broken jaw and nose, and several broken and cracked ribs but none of that was initially fatal.”

  She looked over at us because she was going to tell us how Sian Angelo died. I prayed to the Goddess that he didn’t start cutting her up while she was still alive. It was almost as bad.

  “The cause of death is a crushed larynx. I think she was lying down, possibly on the bed where he raped her, and he drove his elbow into her throat. After the other things he did to her, it was a cruel and vicious way for her to end her short life.” Brenda took a shuddering breath. “Finally, he used the same axe on her as the others. We could tell that from a ding in the top edge of the blade that nicked the bones. Find it and you have the murder weapon. Albertson is a monster, but I guess you know that.”

  “Yes, goddamnit,” I said. “I can’t believe I was actually married to him years ago.”

  Her blue eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”

  “Yeah, I was. I met him when I was sixteen and thought he was my Adonis. No, he wasn’t, as it turned out. It took me four stupid years and two trips to the emergency room to figure it out.”

  “I’m sorry for you,” she said. “Thankfully, you got away from him. Unfortunately, far too many women don’t ever figure it out and some of them end up across the hall, on one of my cold steel tables.”

  She looked down at her hands and then continued, “My mother was one of those. My father killed her one afternoon and then came after us kids. The four of us got away, thankfully, and he ate his shotgun when the cops showed up. He’d lost his job because of the very reason he killed Mom. Anger issues. Like many girls who grew up in that environment, I married a man just like my father. Unlike my Mom, though, I split after my twins were born. I then had three kids, all under three and I was single and jobless. But I muddled through and here I am, with three incredible kids, a couple of grand kids, a damned nice guy and new tits. Can’t beat that.”

  We stood to leave. “I, for one, am glad you’re here,” I said.

  “Thanks. I, for one, am damn glad to be here. And thanks for this.” She looked down.

  We hugged and left.

  When we hit the bright lights of the Seattle morning, Nissa and I felt a lot better. Then she got a call on her cellphone.

  She was grinning when she disconnected. “We have Albertson in custody.”

  I froze there on the sidewalk and began crying again! Dammit I was tired of this but this time it was tears of joy. “Tell me you’re not kidding.”

  “Nope. Just a few minutes ago.”

  “Too bad they didn’t take him out.”

  “Sorcha said he wanted a ‘suicide by cop’ but the officers didn’t buy it. They tasered his sorry ass instead.”

  It took a few minutes, but I pulled myself together. I had to laugh as I wiped my eyes, “Now you see why I haven’t been wearing mascara recently. But it’s kind of anticlimactic, isn’t it? I expected him to go down in a blaze of religious glory or something.”

  “That’s exactly what Sorcha thought, too. She said he was waving a rifle around and ranting about God and his glory or some such shit. None of the responding officers would bite. One snuck up behind him and zapped him. No doubt he’ll spend the rest of his sorry life in the mental ward in some prison or other. At least he’s off the streets.”

  I hugged her tightly then gently kissed her. “Thank the Goddess. Now I can get back to my job and you can do yours. And we can both go see Elsa tonight.”

  Chapter 13

  With a judicious use of magic, Elsa was released just four days after Bob was captured and a week later was already chomping at the bit to get back to the office. Of course, that wasn’t happening no matter how much she pleaded with me, her doctor, and Nissa. Magic had its uses but fully healing on your own takes a while and is really better than doing it all by magic.

  I found myself smiling, loving spring and the return to some kind of normalcy in my life. One of the good things that had happened was the morning that Big Black Truck guy stormed into the office with a lawyer who oozed sleaze. Elsa was still at home, so she missed it. Both his hands were in soft casts.

  I was sitting at Elsa’s desk, doing some bookkeeping when he came in. He walked over to me and snarled in his best ‘bad guy’ voice, “You owe me five grand for the tires you fucked up, bitch! Pay me for them now and this don’t go no farther.”

  Looking up at him, I answered, “I’m sorry. Do you have an appointment with my office?”

  I think it caught him by surprise, me not being intimidated by his bluster.

  Still trying to sound tough, he snarled on, “Don’t try and dodge it. You and that bitch girlfriend of yours slashed my tires. I won’t even tell you what you owe my buddies.”

  As if I had nothing better to do this morning than to screw around with a jerk, I replied, “Prove it.”

  “You came into Dewey’s bragging about what you cunts did.”

  I glanced at his lawyer, waiting his turn to say something. “First, do not call me that again. And second, neither of us slashed any of your tires. If I remember correctly, we came in and mentioned it. That’s all.”

  “Bullshit, lady!”

  Now I looked at his lawyer. “You know,” I said to him, “I don’t have time for this. So, let’s just go for it. I’d love a court trial over this.
A nice, fat, noisy civil case where I can show the jury our sports cam videos of this dipshit and his buddy not only running my bicycle group off the road, and putting one of us in the hospital, but him and his buddy flipping us off as they sped away.”

  The lawyer looked hard at Big Black Truck guy. “You didn’t tell me any of that.”

  Big Black Truck guy replied nastily, “I didn’t think it was important. They was in the middle of th’ fuckin’ road! They got in our way and they didn’t belong there. We didn’t hit none of them.”

  I said, “Those videos will show that all six of us were clearly in the bike lane. Not in the middle of the road. Oh…and unless you forgot, you did hit one of us. With the side of your truck.”

  The lawyer, sensing a fat settlement, ignored my comment and said, “That does not give you the right to slash this man’s tires, though.”

  “Let me say this again. We did not slash his tires. I only said they were flat when we entered the bar. In fact, Dewey had security cameras in his parking lot.”

  The lawyer looked angry now. “Those have been erased.”

  “So, it’s this dipshit’s word against mine? Okay. Yeah, I think I want a big, noisy trial.”

  Big Black Truck guy leaned on Elsa’s desk and got as close to me as he could. There was an honest threat in his voice when he said, “Look, bitch, you pissed off the wrong guy with your stunt. I’ll make sure you pay for it, too. Five thousand bucks will be small potatoes when I’m done with you.”

  He stood up and they turned to leave. I said, “Wait! You might want to see this.”

  Both of them turned and I pointed at the big monitor across from Elsa’s desk. Touching a button, the video I had made of Big Black Truck guy’s threat was there. With sound.

  “Want to try that again, dickhead?” I asked.

  “Fuck you…cunt,” was his clever response as they left.

  I wasn’t the least bit worried about him but just to be a bit safer, I cast a spell that would warn me if he came within two blocks of me or Elsa.

  That night after we ate, we settled down on the couch and watched a French detective series. I had to read it while Elsa practiced her French.

  She lay lengthwise with her head in my lap. I stroked her hair and fought tears again. Deep into the show, she moved my hand from her hair to her breast and whispered, “I’d like you to make love to me, or at least try.”

  “Elsa,” I replied, “I think it’s far too soon for that.”

  “No, we don’t need to do anything too physically demanding, lover. Just…I want to feel you with me. I’ll let you know if what you’re doing is too much. Umm…I don’t think I’ll be able to do much for you.”

  “Baby, you’re here. That’s enough for now.”

  Making love was a gentle and amazingly satisfying experience that night.

  Was it because I was more relaxed than I’d been since all this started? More receptive to the energy around me? I don’t know but I awoke from a deep, delicious dream about Elsa knowing someone was watching us. It wasn’t the Goddess, not with that evil aura I was sensing.

  I picked up curiosity more than outright aggressiveness. It was there for another moment and then gone.

  Elsa groaned a little as we shifted and then went back to sleep. Then the presence or whatever it was disappeared. I cast a spell for intruders and found nothing. Just to be sure, I set a deadly ward around us and then cuddled close to Elsa and returned to a dreamless sleep. We were not disturbed the rest of the night.

  A week later, on a Thursday afternoon, a man and woman came in. He looked angry and was carrying a large, well-used, black and green backpack. I worried about it, but Elsa shook her head. It was okay.

  The bag may have been just fine, but he wasn’t. Just under six feet and a little overweight, he was dressed in a five-thousand-dollar dark gray chalk stripe suit. He wore a cream shirt and blood red tie and he was slowly losing his lank brown hair. I could see the results of it on his jacket. The hip beard he wore didn’t help his overall look at all.

  The hatred for all things and people not exactly like him were deeply engraved in his scowling face. His skin was artificially tanned to be sure. I thought I knew who most of the movers and shakers were in the Northwest, but this guy escaped me.

  His wife, though, was a total opposite. Visually, that is. She was, simply put, a babe. Okay? As in hot. I look, too, but that’s me. I’d have to say she was his second or possibly third wife because she looked much younger than him. A trophy wife for sure. She had highlighted dark brown hair, sparkling, equally dark brown eyes and a figure that approached mine and Elsa’s in shapeliness. I was wrong about where she was in their relationship. And completely wrong about her.

  Elsa forced a smile and said, “Jo, this is Mr. and Mrs. Ron Abbott. Ron and Kristin. They have a locate for us.”

  I stood and shook their hands and still had no idea who he was other than he was obviously wealthy. He wanted me to see that monstrous Piaget on his wrist as he shook my hand like he wanted to tear it off. Her handshake was almost too delicate, like squeezing bread dough.

  From the way Kristin Abbott looked, it was obvious she worked out. Her clothes were snug and showed her figure. Up close though, I could see life etched lightly on her face. She was older than she appeared.

  I didn’t like the vibe I was picking up from them and I didn’t want to spend a minute longer with these two, especially him, than I had to. I cut straight to the chase. “Who am I looking for?” I asked.

  His voice brusque, as if he didn’t have time for this shit, he replied, “Our daughter.” He glanced at his wife who nodded. “The mindless twit ran away about two weeks ago. We are afraid that this Albertson guy may have gotten her but apparently not.” He passed over a picture of a slightly overweight but pretty young woman with her mother’s face. Plumpish might be a better description. Like she hadn’t quite grown out of her baby fat.

  “She’s always been headstrong, and hates being told what to do,” he added and made a bit of a production looking at that watch. Yeah, he definitely wanted me to see it.

  I almost laughed at him because my two-hundred-dollar Seiko kept perfect time and didn’t cost me as much as a small house.

  Now his wife took over. Her voice hardened as she began talking about their daughter. “Sela is seventeen and to be quite frank, she’s a slut. Fact. She’d been caught with different boys more than once. She’d have sex with almost any shitty kid who asked, and she’d take about any drug offered. If the boy had drugs too, then it was a major score for her. Counselling and grounding didn’t help. Two weeks ago, Ron and I finally put our foot down and grounded her with a stern warning about her spending money. She was to straighten up or her allowance was going to be nothing more than a fond memory. That threat lasted a single day and night. She ran away, like he said. Yes, we filed a missing person report and since that went absolutely nowhere, we are here hoping you can find her. When we find her, her little fat ass is going to an all-girl boarding school.”

  Ron interjected, “I have spent far too much of my precious time looking all over Seattle for her. Where those smartass kids hang out and in the homeless shelters. Nothing. Yesterday I looked at a bus stop and I saw her backpack tucked in the corner under the bench. That one.” He pointed at it on the floor at his feet. “We were told that you needed some of her clothes and this crappy backpack contains that and other things.”

  He stood and dropped it on the floor beside my desk as if it were infected with some nasty contagious disease. I’d bet money that when he left our office, he’d immediately apply a palmful of hand sanitizer.

  I nodded and said pleasantly, “I will look into her disappearance and hopefully let you know something soon. Monday or Tuesday, if everything goes right.”

  I disliked these two and wanted them gone. Hell, if I’d been their daughter I’d have run away too. Slut? She actually called her daughter that and I was appalled. There was a reason the young woman was sleeping arou
nd and doing drugs and I was certain the reason was facing me across my desk.

  “Don’t forget that she’s a righteous bitch at times,” his wife said. “I can’t believe I gave birth to her because she was so sweet until she hit puberty.” She shook her head as if this young woman was causing her to miss a tennis club date. She probably was, too. “That was about the time I decided to get back into shape. It seemed like for every pound I lost, she gained one. She flatly refused to go to the gym with me or just simply walk in the parks around our city. Go jogging? Not a chance in hell. I tried my best not to force my regime on her, but she still fought me. Then she started screwing around. Why? Goddamnit, we gave her everything she needed.”

  There was not a tear in her eyes. More than anything, she looked annoyed.

  Elsa looked at me and had the same thought; did you give her any love?

  Ending this meeting, I stood and said, “If you will sign my retainer and pay my secretary, I will get right on this. As I said, I may have something as soon as Monday. I’ll email you with my status or call you when I find her.” I may not like these two, but I had to keep it positive. I gave Elsa one of our ‘signs’ to charge this couple at least double. She nodded, understanding what I wanted.

  I could have opened the bag in my office and gone to work on finding Sela Abbott, but Elsa came back in and told me she was out of gas.

  “Baby,” she said to me, “I need to go home. I was about there when they came in. They sucked the rest of my ‘go’ out of me. Jesus what a pair.”

  “I couldn’t agree more. Let’s just close up. Put the phones on forward and we’ll order Chinese when we get home. While you rest, I’ll start the search for Sela.”

  On the short ride home, we passed Dewey’s. Elsa looked at the bar and then said to me, “Look, Jo, I know this is tough on you, not being able to make love with me. Last night was wonderful but I know what you like. The more contact, the better and since I can’t do that for a while, if you would like, you can take Marcella up on a night or two. For some reason I’m pretty sure she’ll rock your little man in the boat.” She smiled over at me.