Love on the Rocks (Bar Tenders)

by Melanie Tushmore

Justin nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

  “Did you say your parents were coming tonight?”

  With a grimace, Justin nodded. “I hope they behave themselves.”

  In the patisserie, a buzzy little continental place, they sat at a table and ate their toasted sandwiches. Justin gazed out of the window at passersby, his mind drifting. He tuned back in when Tam scoffed, “Why is there a fucking yogurt shop in Soho?”

  “I wondered that earlier,” he said.

  “Unless it’s alcoholic yogurt, who cares?” Tam finished his toasty and dusted his hands off on a napkin. “Speaking of which, I bought a drink in the venue earlier and was reminded how extortionate the prices are.”

  “The bar’s already open?” Justin asked. It had looked quiet during the run-through.

  “No, but I bothered someone until they served me.” Tam grinned. “Nearly five pounds for a thimble’s full of liquid. I’m not standing for that. There’s an off-license nearby, let’s get some vodka.”

  Justin thought again about his parents coming tonight, and nodded his head. “Okay. I’ll go halves with you on a small one.”

  Tam looked aghast. “Small?”

  “I can’t drink too much,” Justin complained. “I hate liquid sloshing about in my stomach when I’m dancing.”

  “That’s why you do shots instead, dear,” Tam said slowly, as if explaining it to a five-year-old. “But fine. A small one would be easier to smuggle in.”

  Once Justin had finished his toasty, they bundled back into the street and looked for an off-license. The sky was dusky now, with inky blue settling in, and the lights of Soho dazzled all the brighter. They bought a six quid bottle of cheap vodka, and Tam stashed it inside his jacket.

  “I’m surprised ol’ Mark Malone hasn’t offered to buy you a drink,” Justin said, as they walked back up the alleyways. “After all that flirting you’ve done with him.”

  “I’ll be sure to remind him later,” Tam said. “I didn’t want to bother him too much before the show starts. I’ll wait until it’s over, then get him horrendously drunk.”

  Justin shook his head as they approached the venue. “What are you planning to do? Tie him to your bed posts and blackmail him into giving us gigs for a year?”

  Unfazed, Tam winked at him. “Not a bad suggestion, Justin. I’ll be sure to tell him you thought of it.”

  “No!” Justin laughed. “Leave me out of your sordid affairs.”

  “Your loss.”

  They waited on the doorstep to be allowed reentry, and this time someone they didn’t know answered the door. When they trooped back into the club, a setup was in process onstage; a tattooed girl in a bra and panties was instructing the stage manager where she wanted an arrangement of props that looked particularly heavy. Poor guy, Justin thought.

  The tattooed performer was brunette, so she wasn’t Chi Chi. Backstage, Justin looked for her amid the bustle of women getting ready, but he still couldn’t see her.

  In their absence, the compere had arrived, and now sat on a chair at the long mirror, unpacking various makeup from her bag. Upon seeing who it was, Tam squealed and rushed through the women to get to her. The compere, a voluptuous black woman, saw him and dropped her makeup, holding out an arm to catch Tam’s embrace. She squashed him into her chest as she greeted him in her sultry voice. “Hello, darling.”

  Justin, too, hurried to greet her and received a bosom-squashing hug. “Dolly!” He grinned eagerly. “I didn’t know you were here tonight. This is fab.”

  “Yes,” she declared, smiling at them both. “This is like a Brighton reunion! Fabulous, darling.”

  “Fucking fabulous.” Tam flashed the vodka bottle in his jacket. “Do you want to join us, Dolly?”

  “What’s that?” She peered in, but held up a hand. “No, I’d better not, my love. I can only drink rum, but it’s for medicinal purposes only. For the throat, you know. It helps me sing.”

  They laughed and shared another hug. Dolly had often come to Justin’s old workplace, Rainbows, to sing at their cabaret nights. He’d known her for years.

  “Justin, how’s your fabulous father?” she asked, a twinkle in her eye.

  “He’s fine.” Justin chuckled. “They’re coming tonight, actually.”

  “Are they?” Dolly grinned and picked up her makeup bags again. “Tell him I’ll put on my expensive lipstick, just for him.”

  Tam guffawed, while Justin tried to laugh along. “I’ll tell him… maybe when Mum isn’t there.”

  “Good point,” Dolly conceded. “If it helps, I’ll offer to kiss her too.”

  “Er….”

  He knew she was mostly teasing, but Justin had seen his friends when they were drunk and fawning over his dad before, and it always felt a little… weird.

  Tam came to the rescue by changing the subject. “Dolly, have you got a running order?”

  “Yes, darling.” She pointed at the dressing room door. “It’s taped up there, in the smallest print I’ve ever seen! I had to ask someone to read it for me.”

  “Justin,” Tam instructed, “go see when we’re on.”

  “Yes, my liege.” Justin took the opportunity to slip away, threading his way back through the melee of performers. He approached the running order and looked for their names. Not on until after eight; they had ages. He also scanned for Chi Chi’s name, but couldn’t see her.

  Odd.

  Unless she was performing under a different name tonight. Some performers did that. Justin lost track of all the Cherrys, Honeys, and Fluffy what-nots after a while.

  After a little more chat, Tam left Dolly to do her makeup and went to his own bag. Justin sat cross-legged on the floor, checking through his new phone.

  We have tickets, his mum had texted. Break a leg, love. See you after the show.

  He texted back a thank you and then stared at his screen. If only he’d had Yena’s number. Maybe next week he could go to Foxy’s and speak to that girl, Kathy, even though the thought of doing so made Justin’s chest tighten. Would Yena have told her about him, about their bust up? They seemed close enough.

  Justin sighed and put his phone away. “Tam, shall we do a shot, then?”

  Raising an eyebrow at his sudden enthusiasm for drinking, Tam looked at him. “Unless you want to swig from the bottle, we’d need shot glasses.”

  “Guess I’ll get shot glasses,” Justin muttered. He couldn’t swig, he’d choke himself. He got to his feet and had to maneuver out of the dressing room once again. If only there was more dressing table space in this stupid little room, he thought, everyone wouldn’t need to spread themselves over the floor quite so much.

  Armed with shot glasses, he returned. Tam discreetly poured the vodka, and they clinked their shot glasses carefully before knocking them back. Justin grimaced from the burn but didn’t make a fuss. He didn’t normally drink at shows, but tonight called for social lubrication.

  The last of the performing cast stomped backstage, grumbling about props, and Renee appeared to make the announcement that doors were opening.

  Justin wondered if he should nip outside to see his parents arrive, but decided against it. He knew from experience if he hung around in the crowd making small talk, he’d only grow more nervous. He focused his attentions on getting ready instead.

  “Fuck, help me with this,” Tam said, as he tried to unlace his platform boots. “Fucking thing’s knotted. Fuck.”

  Justin took the boot before Tam got cross. He always cursed more when he was nervous. Luckily, he managed to get the knots undone, and he unlaced Tam’s boot, only to be given the other boot.

  “And this one; thank you, Justin.”

  He smiled. After that task was done, they stripped out of their tops and started to apply stage makeup. Pale pink primer and a shimmery dusting over their faces, as well as eye makeup and lip gloss. Glitter spray in their hair finished it off, which was why they had to disrobe when doing the makeup, as the glitter got everywhere, sticking to their chests and a
rms.

  All around them, girls were also applying clouds of shimmery body powder, hair spray, and perfume. There was no air conditioning backstage, and the various fumes hung in the rapidly heating air.

  From along the hall in the venue, lounge music filtered through, upbeat and cheery. Justin wasn’t so keen on it, but the whole definition of lounge music was to be background noise. Once the acts hit the stage, the exciting music would kick in.

  Shoes stored safely in his kit bag, Justin peeled off his socks and his jeans. He was wearing his very thin—and very expensive—soft grey briefs. After much deliberation with Tam, they’d decided wearing briefs under their stage costumes was necessary, as it kept things in place and meant they didn’t have to bare all backstage.

  Even now, Justin felt the eyes of other performers on him. Of course, the girls regularly stripped off and changed their entire outfits, and Justin always politely averted his eyes. He still wasn’t entirely comfortable being naked in a room full of bolshie women.

  Tam had no such qualms, and stripped down to his underwear in an unhurried manner. He held up his silver catsuit and shook it out, checking it over out of habit.

  Justin too, delved in his bag for his catsuit. The sooner he could get dressed again, the better. He stepped into the legs and pulled the catsuit on, its slithery, cool material sending a small shiver over his skin. Next it was a fresh application of deodorant; then he slipped the arms into place and turned around for Tam to zip him up.

  Tam pulled his catsuit on, and Justin zipped him in too. They put on clean socks, thicker sports ones, and they both sat down in order to tug their boots on and lace them up. The boots were silver hologram, a steal from a fancy dress shop that had been selling off old stock. They were sturdy, made for dancing.

  Tam unloaded the kit bag that contained their ruffles; smaller ones for their wrists, and large, extravagant ones for their shoulders. Again, they had to help each other fasten them on, and as Justin stood patiently while Tam fitted the neck ruffle on him, he spotted a few of the girls eyeing them.

  “Love the costumes,” one performer told them.

  Justin smiled. Tam beamed under the praise. “Made by my own fair hand!”

  “I hate sewing,” the girl said. “I get my boyfriend and sister to help me.”

  They laughed. Justin hated sewing too. He was lucky Tam was good at it. The ruffles they wore tonight had been altered; more silver and white than last time, with clear crystals dotted along the seam of the larger feathers.

  “Are those Swarovski crystals?” Justin asked, fastening Tam’s ruffle.

  Tam looked surprised as he stood still for Justin. “You noticed!”

  “Christ, Tam.” Justin frowned as he secured the ruffle and stepped back. “How much did they cost?”

  “Oh, don’t panic.” Tam rolled his eyes and then squatted down to his bag. “I got a good deal on a wholesale bag from Ebay.”

  “A bag?” Justin watched him fish out the vodka bottle again and pour two more shots.

  “Yes, a small bag of crystals. It took everything in my power not to empty the lot over my head and squeal when it arrived.” He stood, offering Justin the shot glass.

  Justin laughed, accepting the shot. “Why?”

  “Diamonds are a boy’s best friend.” Tam clinked his glass with Justin’s. “I can’t afford diamonds yet, so crystals will have to do.”

  “You’re a strange man,” Justin told him and followed Tam in drinking another shot.

  “That I may be,” Tam retorted, “but wait till you see them under the lights.”

  It was time. Dolly, dressed in a sweeping black sapphire ball gown, her huge curly wig sparkling with glitter, marched out to the stage, ready to start the show. Butterflies fluttered in Justin’s belly, but this was the good kind of nervous, the preshow buzz he liked. He’d been performing a long time now, and the nerves didn’t worry him like they used to. Now he could ride the buzz and look forward to getting onstage.

  They were third act on, after Dolly had done the introductions. He followed Tam down the hall, and they took up a place stageside, lining up with other performers clad in costume. It was pretty dark back here, as they were behind the heavy curtain; only a dim light from the hall and the slim peek of the brightly lit stage beyond gave them any light.

  Justin’s eye was caught by the glint of crystal, even in this dull light, from Tam’s feathers. “Okay,” he admitted, leaning in to Tam’s ear. “The crystals look good.”

  “Hah. See?” Tam grinned broadly, his lip gloss also catching the light. “Trust me, darling. There is no such thing as over the top in this biz.”

  Justin chuckled, his eyes roving over their fellow performers. Tam had a fair point. One girl was almost completely nude, slim body covered only by red sequin nipple tassels and a matching merkin. Justin didn’t know how she had the balls to wear—or not wear—something like that. What if the bit of sequined material slipped off onstage? Her only props were some white ostrich feather fans. Hopefully Justin would be able to sneak nearer the curtain when she performed, and risk a glance out.

  Usually they got a sidelong view of the stage and its performance, through the gap in the curtain, but the way needed to be kept clear for the dashing in and out of the stage manager and his assistant.

  Dolly opened the show by singing the classic These Boots, changing the lyrics to “These boobs are made for wobblin’,” as she proudly stuck her cleavage out. The audience whooped along, won over already. Dolly was a star in the spotlight.

  After her song was over she welcomed the crowd, engaged in some flirty banter, and got them to practice their cheering, whipping up the noise levels. Justin wondered if his parents were whooping along out there. They always cheered at shows.

  A woman with a large furry muff on her arm started the show, dancing and miming along to an old jazz song. When the male vocal came in, she raised the muff to the audience, revealing it was actually some crazy-looking puppet with a mouth, and mimed her hand along to the words. Laughing and encouraging cheers sounded out. A comedy act was a good start to any show.

  Dolly waited stageside in the gloom with them, checking her running order notes. Tam asked her if she was going to make a quip about the performer’s giant muff. Dolly smiled sidelong. “Great minds think alike, you naughty boy.”

  “Surprised Tam knows what a muff is,” Justin teased, earning a snorting laugh from Tam.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know,” he said, waggling his eyebrows at Justin.

  After the act was finished, and through the applause, Dolly did her between-act patter and then swiftly introduced the next performance. The fan dancer trotted out onstage in her high heels, which Justin noticed were covered in crystals. The music started, and she fluttered her fans to a Marilyn Monroe number.

  At his side, Tam snorted lightly. “Like this hasn’t been done ten million times,” he muttered.

  “I’m sure the straight men like it,” Justin whispered back. “She looks like a model.”

  “Yawn!” Tam replied.

  After the closing of the fan dance—and Justin marveled at how her miniscule costume had stayed on—she left the stage, and Dolly began their introduction.

  Justin’s heart hammered, but he concentrated on receiving his cordless mic from the stage hand, checking it was on, and breathing in and out. This was the part he loved most.

  Dolly gave them a roaring introduction and came offstage as their music started. The stage lights flashed, and they waited a beat. This song had a long introduction, so they always walked on to it.

  Justin waited for Tam and then followed him on stage. The lights were so bright all he could see were the dark boards of the stage and Tam’s silver costume as he followed him into position. The lighting tech was obviously enjoying having a disco number played, as the lights were going crazy with flashes of color. As the intro finished and became slower, Justin clutched his mic in his right hand, ready, while raising his left arm out at the same tim
e as Tam. It looked like a grand gesture for the music, until just at the right moment they brought their hands down to pinch their noses and sing in squeaky, nasal voices the first verse to Voulez-Vous.

  The lights stopped swirling, settling into spotlights on them. The venue was still shrouded in darkness to him, but Justin could see the first rows of the audience, and noticed a few people smiling along. First verse done, he released his nose, as did Tam, and they swept their arms out to the audience, singing in deeper voices, building the sound. This was one of Justin’s favorite songs, and he felt the grin on his face as he sang.

  For the chorus they each pointed at the audience, as if singling out a member, holding eye contact with faces they couldn’t really see under the dazzle of lights. Because the song required a lot of singing, they mostly stayed in one spot, but the chorus was a sassy choreographed maneuver. Sing a line. Shoulder wiggle, ruffling the feathers. Sing the next line. Hip thrust. Point and wink.

  Cheers bellowed over the music, and as happened every time they were well received by an audience, Justin was relieved and thrilled all at once. He sang his heart out, swapping places with Tam beside him for the final verse. The lights swirled again, flooding over the audience nearest the stage. Justin’s eyes scanned the crowd, looking for his parents. They were probably at a table, further back.

  He almost missed spotting Chi Chi, standing right near the stage. She wore a sleeveless white and red polka dot dress. It was the polka dots that caught his eye and made him notice her tattooed arms and her blonde hair in long ringlets. She grinned at him, and Justin let his gaze rest on her a moment, so she’d know he’d seen her.

  Then he saw the person next to her.

  Yena.

  Chapter Eighteen

  AT THE end of their song, the roar of applause seemed far away. The smile had been wiped off Justin’s face from shock, and he didn’t know what else to do except leave the stage. He left Tam waving at the audience, as Dolly stepped out and said into her mic, “The Dancing Queens, everyone!”

  Justin hurried through the backstage hall and into the dressing room, leaving the noise behind him. Tam was on his heels, asking him what was wrong. Justin couldn’t focus, not on Tam, nor on the dressing room around him. His eyes darted about as he remembered seeing him, right there next to Chi Chi. Yena was here, watching his show, and he’d smiled at him.