Ria's Visions (Hearts of ICARUS Book 6)

by Laura Jo Phillips

  “Change your name?” Talon asked in surprise while Vari giggled. All eyes went to her, including Ria’s.

  “What?”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you giggle before,” Ria said. “I didn’t think you knew how. I must thank the Dracon-Bats.”

  “Be nice or I’ll tell them all about Humpty Dumpty.”

  “You are a cruel sister,” Ria said with a dramatic sigh.

  “That does it,” Vari said. “I’m telling.”

  “Cruel and heartless.”

  “You asked for it,” Vari said, smirking. She looked up at the Katres, her eyes dancing. “Ria’s godmother, Hope Bearen, was born and raised on Earth. Ria learned to read when she was four, and she loved it more than anything else. So, Aunt Hope often gave her books of old children’s stories and rhymes that she’d enjoyed as a child herself. Ria had a whole collection of them.”

  “I still do,” Ria said with a soft smile.

  “I’m not surprised,” Vari said, squeezing Ria’s hand carefully. “She’d make up little tunes for the rhymes sometimes. Humpty Dumpty was one of her favorites. She used to run around singing it at the top of her lungs for hours on end.”

  “Which, since I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, about drove our parents crazy,” Ria put in. “I had a knack for getting on their nerves. Still do, for that matter.”

  Vari looked at Ria for a long moment, her forehead creased in a frown.

  “So, this Humpty is a nursery rhyme?” Tee asked, breaking the awkward silence.

  “Yes,” Vari said. “I don’t know the rhyme, but I remember the character. I wasn’t around Ria much then, or any of my family really.”

  “What is the connection between this Humpty person from the rhyme and your fall?” Tee asked, still trying to understand.

  Feeling her face heat, Ria quickly summarized. “Humpty Dumpty is a giant egg who jumps over the moon and lands on a cat with a fiddle, breaking himself into so many pieces that the king’s horses can’t fix him.” Ria frowned. “No, wait…he falls from a wall. That’s it. Falls from a wall and the cow…rabbit?…no, wrong story. Anyway, someone can’t put him back together.”

  She looked up and saw that Dr. Jula, Vari, Talon, Thorn and Tee were all standing around her bed, staring at her oddly. She blushed. “I liked reading the stories as a child but I’ve never been able to remember things like that. Poems, stories, song lyrics, jokes. I remember all the pieces but they get mixed up in my head.”

  “True enough,” Vari said, nodding. “I’d almost forgotten that.”

  “You never seemed to have a problem remembering facts from your medical studies,” Dr. Jula said.

  “No, it’s only fictional stuff I have a problem with. I don’t know why.”

  “Hm, interesting,” Dr. Jula said.

  “But, basically it’s a story about someone falling and breaking so badly they can’t be healed,” Talon said, still wanting a clarification on the original question. Ria nodded. He frowned. “That’s a story for children? Why would anyone tell that to a child? Is it meant to frighten them, or warn them of the dangers of high places?”

  “No, neither,” Ria said, smiling.

  “I’ve always thought nursery rhymes were violent, and wondered why they were meant for children at all,” Vari agreed. “But for some reason, most children like them.”

  “They’re not violent,” Ria argued. “Mostly.”

  “No?” Vari asked. “What about Three Blind Mice in which they get their tales cut off? Or Rock-A-Bye-Baby, a lullaby in which a cradle falls out of a tree with the baby in it? And don’t get me started on the fairytales.”

  “No, let’s not,” Ria said. Vari heard something in her voice that indicated she was serious, so she changed the subject.

  “Dr. Jula, how’s Ria doing?”

  “Quite well,” Dr. Jula replied. “I want to keep her overnight for observation since she hit her head pretty hard. I don’t expect her to have any complications though.”

  “Would you like to go back to the Bihotza for that?” Vari asked Ria. “You’d still have to stay in the infirmary but at least it would be more familiar.”

  “If no one objects, I’d like to stay with Star, Belle, and Lonato.”

  “No objections here,” Talon said, immediately tamping down his excitement. “That reminds me though, are the tests on Star complete, Dr. Jula?”

  “Yes, and they’re all clean. She carries no parasites, microbes, or illnesses. I’d clear her to go where she likes between the ships, but there is a mandatory forty-eight-hour observation period. She’ll need to stay on the Hilgaria for at least another day and a half.”

  “Does she have to remain in the infirmary?” Ria asked.

  “Probably, though the regs aren’t that specific,” Dr. Jula said. “I won’t insist on that, but she absolutely cannot leave the Hilgaria.”

  “That’s great, Dr. Jula, thank you,” Ria said.

  Vari watched Ria and the Katres, noting that her sister seemed more relaxed than she had in months. “I’ll pack a suitcase for you, Ria, and have it transported over. Is there anything in particular you want aside from the usual?”

  “My reader please, and my hand terminal. They’re both on the nightstand.”

  “You got it,” Vari said.

  “Thanks, Vari.”

  “You’re welcome, of course,” Vari replied. “I’ll pack a bag for you as soon as I get back to the Bihotza, which I need to do about now.” She looked at Tee, Thorn, and Talon. “You take good care of my sister.”

  “Of course, Lady Vari,” Talon said. “You needn’t worry. We won’t let her anywhere near the stairs.”

  Vari smiled, then kissed Ria goodbye before leaving the infirmary. As she made her way to Transport she thought about Ria’s comments regarding being treated as though she were still an impulsive child. There was pain there. A lot of pain. Much more than being thought of as impulsive could account for. She just needed to figure out why.

  ***

  The Katres remained with Ria until her eyes began to grow heavy. Encouraging her to sleep, they moved away from the bed, but they didn’t leave the infirmary until they were certain she was out.

  Talon stopped outside the infirmary, thinking, then turned toward comms which was just up the corridor. There was one crewman inside who Talon asked to leave, then he closed and locked the door.

  “What’s the matter, Talon?” Thorn asked.

  “Ria is the woman we’ve waited for our entire lives,” he said. “Over the course of a few short weeks she was nearly killed in an explosion, blinded, transported to a hostile world in close vicinity to Nomen who would certainly have killed her had they seen her, and fallen down half a flight of stairs. Three incidents in which she could so easily have lost her life is three too many.”

  “Agreed,” Thorn said. “But we can’t lock her up in a padded room, Talon.”

  “No, but we can openly claim her as our berezi,” Talon said. “If we do, there’s no question of her remaining here, where we can keep her safe.”

  “We’ve already agreed to ask her to stay, but I have no objection to telling her the truth at the same time,” Tee said, nodding. Thorn remained silent, his forehead creased in thought. After a minute he looked up at them.

  “She’s suffered some sort of trauma, just as Declan said. We’ve all seen the signs. Corin said she can’t stand the touch of human males in particular, but isn’t bothered by Clan males. I’ve been trying to understand that.”

  “Maybe it’s because she knows Clan males don’t hurt women,” Tee said.

  “I hurt her,” Thorn said in a low voice. “She demanded that I not touch her again, and rightly so, but she wasn’t afraid of me. She didn’t trust me enough to reveal her injuries to me, but that was about me, and the way I treated her.”

  “What are you thinking, Thorn?” Talon asked. Thorn sighed, then turned around.

  “Come with me, please,” he said. Tee and Talon shrugged, then follow
ed Thorn, surprised when they ended up in the Roar Room a couple of minutes later. He crossed the ante-room and went into the large, heavily padded room meant for Klanaren to use when they needed to release their alter-forms.

  Tee and Talon exchanged worried looks as they made their way to the center of the room where Thorn stopped. “Why are we here, Thorn?” Tee asked.

  “So that we don’t disturb Ria. You said that Clan males do not hurt women, and save for what I did in my anger and carelessness, that’s true. The point is that I hurt her, and she was not afraid. Wary, but not afraid. So I have to ask myself; what else do Clan males not do to women?”

  Talon and Tee stared at him in confusion for a long moment. Then their eyes widened and began to glow before they opened their mouths and roared loud enough to shake the viewing window in its frame. Thorn watched as they shifted into their katrenca alter-forms and roared again, their long tails swishing behind them in agitation. Thorn shifted, then reached for his brothers’ minds, something that worked only in their alter-forms.

  “I don’t think she was raped,” he said, keeping his mental voice as calm as possible. He had to say it a few more times before it began to penetrate the haze of red hot fury in Talon’s mind. It took Tee a little longer, but eventually they calmed enough for more rational thought. Thorn took off running around the room, careful to keep his claws sheathed so as to avoid unnecessary tears in the padding.

  “Why don’t you think she was raped?” Talon asked, running beside him. It took Tee a little longer to catch up, but Thorn waited until he did before answering Talon’s question.

  “Because she doesn’t hate males,” Thorn said. “She’s cautious, afraid to be alone with males who aren’t Clan, and careful not to let them touch her, as Corin said. But there is no fury or hatred buried inside of her. There is pain, and fear, and sorrow. But no anger.”

  “You’re right,” Tee agreed. “If she wasn’t raped, why is she afraid?”

  “I don’t know, but we must find out. I think it’s the reason she takes the suppressants, and if she knows that she is our berezi, it’s also the reason she would hide it.”

  “Why did you mention rape if you don’t think it happened to her?” Talon asked.

  “Because I think something close to it may have happened. Maybe she escaped in time, or someone helped her. I don’t know, Talon, but I do know that we must be prepared for whatever answer she gives us when we ask her. We can’t allow ourselves to go into a blood rage. It would cause her great distress, if not fear, and that’s the last thing she needs from us. I’ve already made the mistake of not putting our berezi first. I will not do so again.”

  “We’ll speak with her today, after she wakes up, and after we’ve run ourselves out,” Talon decided. “No more plans and no more waiting.”

  “Agreed,” Thorn and Tee said at the same time.

  ***

  Declan, Jay, and Kai entered the master suite, concerned frowns on their faces. Since they hadn’t yet linked with Vari, they couldn’t feel her as clearly as they would have liked. But when her emotions were extreme they felt them no matter how far away they were within the confines of the ship.

  “Vari?” Declan asked, spotting her on one of the chairs in the sitting area, her knees drawn up so that her chin rested on them. “What’s the matter, Miraku?”

  “I need you to be really honest with me about something.”

  “Of course, Miraku,” Declan said as he, Jay, and Kai approached. “But first, are you all right? You look upset and worried.”

  “I’m fine, and Ria’s fine too. But she said some things to me that got me thinking…well, before I tell you that, I have a question or two for you.”

  “Very well,” Declan said as they all sat. “What’s your question?”

  “What do you think of Ria?”

  Vari watched her men exchange puzzled looks. “What I mean is, setting everything I ever told you about her aside, what kind of person do you think she is?”

  Declan nodded. “Yes, I see what you mean. The truth, Vari, is that we find it extremely difficult to believe that your sister possesses or ever possessed the traits you attribute to her. Trauma changes people, sometimes a great deal. But rarely so much that they are no longer recognizable as the same person.”

  Vari nodded. “What sort of person do you think she is?”

  “She’s a good person, Vari,” Kai said. “She’s generous, and kind. She works very hard at everything she does every single day without exception or complaint. She has little to no ego, either. She cleans floors in the infirmary with the same focus and attention to detail that she uses when studying, or keying up meds on the fabricator.”

  Jay nodded in agreement with Kai, then looked at Vari. “In the months we’ve known her we’ve never seen a single sign of impulsive, erratic or flighty behavior. Far from it, in fact.”

  “We’ve also seen signs of trauma,” Declan said. “She startles too easily, shies away from physical contact with everyone but most particularly males, and she rarely speaks to anyone unless spoken to first. She smiles rarely, and then only for you, and she never laughs. She also spends all of her free time alone. That’s by choice. She’s been asked to join a number of groups, invited to parties and social events the crew organizes. She always refuses.”

  Vari nodded slowly. “I’ve spent more time in Ria’s company over the past five months than I have since we were four years old. From what I’ve seen with my own eyes I know that everything you’ve said is true. So why have I continued to think of her as my unpredictable, irresponsible little sister?”

  “We’ve wondered the same thing, babe,” Kai said gently. “But it’s not a question we can answer.”

  “I have this image in my head of Bean and Ria,” Vari said. “But, as Pandora pointed out not too long ago, I spent almost no time with them at all when we were children, and very little since. I wonder if the impression I have of her as an impulsive, slightly hyper-active four-year-old has never changed because I didn’t spend enough time with her to discover anything new.”

  “That makes sense,” Kai said.

  “Maybe for me it does, but it doesn’t explain why my parents still think of her that way.”

  “No, it doesn’t,” Declan said. “But then, don’t forget that your parents are people like the rest of us. They’re not infallible.”

  “Meaning?”

  “They had to put a lot of time and effort into giving you an environment that you could exist in without pain. That, and still maintain some sense of family for you, and the rest of the children. It’s possible that they saw that little hyper four-year-old as the trouble-maker of the bunch and that opinion stuck.”

  “That’s so…wrong,” Vari said, tears rolling down her cheeks. “But I know my parents love Ria just as they love all of us.”

  “I’m sure they do, Vari. But this isn’t about whether they love her. It’s about whether they had the time and energy left over to stop and figure out who she really was. They didn’t.”

  “I understand,” Vari said with a sigh. “I feel like it’s my fault. It is my fault.”

  “There’s no fault here, Miraku. No blame. Just mistakes. Correctable mistakes.”

  Vari nodded. “I need to correct my mistake of thinking I know Ria and actually take the time to find out who she is.”

  “That’s an excellent idea,” Kai said. He stood up, crossed the few feet separating him from Vari, bent down and picked her up, folded legs and all. Then he sat back down with her in his lap. “Right now she’s discovering who the Katres are. I suggest we let them be for a while. There’s plenty of time for you to get to know your sister.”

  “You’re right,” Vari said. “You guys were right about me staying out of that situation, too. I noticed she seemed more relaxed than I’ve seen her since we left Jasan, even lying on a medi-cot with a bruise on her head after falling down the stairs and breaking several bones.”

  “What was it she said to you?” Declan
asked.

  Vari smiled. “She told me that she was no longer an impulsive little girl prone to swinging from the light fixtures and hadn’t been since she was about ten. She also said she didn’t know why the rest of us still thought of her that way.”

  “Good for her,” Jay said, nodding.

  “Yes, that’s what I think, too,” Vari agreed. “I wonder if it’s Star’s influence, or the Katres’?”

  “She and Star have a strong bond,” Declan said. “They’d known each other no more than a couple of hours when I saw them and it was so strong I could almost see it as a physical cord between them.”

  “Yes, I saw that, too,” Vari said. “I’m glad she’s going to stay there with all of them. As much as I want to spend time with her, she needs them now, not me.”

  Kai smiled, then pressed his palms together and bowed his head over them. “Kri-Shal, Arank Vari.”

  Vari grinned and rolled her eyes up at him before pressing her palms together as well. “Hari kna, Commander Kai. You do me much honor.”

  Chapter 17

  Freshly showered and changed after their hard run in the Roar Room, the Katres entered the infirmary to find Ria awake and speaking with Dr. Jula.

  “Hello Admirals,” Dr. Jula greeted them.

  “Good afternoon, Dr. Jula,” Talon replied. “How’s the observation going?”

  “It’s as boring as I’d hoped it would be,” Dr. Jula replied with a smile. “Are you planning to be here for a while?”

  “Yes, unless you’d rather we didn’t.”

  “I’d like to go eat, and Corin is off duty.”

  “Go ahead,” Talon said. “We won’t leave your patients alone.”

  “Thanks. Anything you want, Ria?”

  “No thanks, Dr. Jula. I’m still full from lunch.”

  “See you in about an hour then,” Dr. Jula said. She took a quick peek at Star who was sleeping, then left.

  “What’s going on?” Ria asked as soon as the door closed behind the doctor.