The Girl With Hearts (Midtown Brotherhood #1)

by Savannah Blevins

  She folded her arms over her chest. “You just want me to get out of the apartment.”

  “That too,” he confessed, getting up to walk over to her. “You’ve been to one game in the last two weeks, and even then you bailed on dinner afterward. Since then, you may have left this apartment a couple times at best.”

  “And your brilliant solution is to make me go with you to a Halloween party?” She looked around for Drew, hoping he would come to her rescue. Drew merely mimicked the same sympathetic smile Austin had given her.

  “The bottom line is, if I have to go, so do you.”

  It was a damn conspiracy.

  She didn’t want to go to the Halloween party, not because she didn’t want to spend time with them, but because of the same reason she hadn’t called her friend Laney, or gone to the grocery store after those cookies she loved. The thought alone was debilitating, and then to add the emotional gauntlet that was Henrik into the equation, they might as well be asking her to swim through a tsunami.

  “You bought a costume for me, didn’t you?”

  Henrik beamed. “Just wait until you see,” he said, digging through the bags. He jerked out a shirt and green mask. “You’re going to be a Ninja Turtle!”

  “A Ninja Turtle?”

  Damn it. She loved Ninja Turtles. It didn’t matter, though. She had to get out of it. “Even if I was going to this party, which I’m not, I would never wear that. You realize I’m a girl, right?”

  Henrik smirked at her, holding back whatever filthy thought popped into his head. She shot him a warning glare.

  “I told the salesperson I needed a woman’s costume that didn’t involve the word sexy in front of it,” Austin began to explain, “because I know how your feminism flares up. This was the best I could manage.”

  “Apparently, we shop at the slutty Halloween store.” Henrik grinned. “Don’t worry, though. You won’t be lonely, because—” he began pulling out more green shirts and masks “—we’re going as Ninja Turtles too!”

  His enthusiasm was exhausting.

  She didn’t want to tell Austin no. It was the first time since they were kids that they’d had the chance to spend any kind of significant time together. It was the ideal opportunity for movie-perfect, sparkly bonding time.

  She wasn’t feeling sparkly, though. She felt like coal.

  “It’ll be fun,” Henrik urged.

  Fun wasn’t part of her remedial plan. Rest. Sleep. Any nameable Henrik-less activity. That was her new routine.

  “You can’t say no to this face,” Drew said through the small slit in his dime shop mask. “You love me too much.”

  She rolled her eyes and grabbed her costume out of Henrik’s hands. “Love is a strong word right now,” she grumbled, stomping off toward the bedroom. “In fact, I hate all of you.”

  “Thank you for participating,” Henrik yelled after her. “You won’t regret it!”

  “That wasn’t a confirmation.”

  “We leave at five.” His voice echoed down the hallway, but she could imagine him grinning like an idiot. Even though she tried not to, she smiled as she slammed the door shut behind her.

  She had to tell him.

  Tonight.

  Chapter 13

  LEILA’S PARTY

  Madison Square Garden could have been mistaken for an episode of Tales from the Crypt. The decoration committee must have found a sale on foam tombstones. Leila pulled her hand out of a fake spider web that clung to the boards around the rink as she skated to the side. She pushed her Raphael mask on top of her head, gasping for air.

  She needed to take it slow. One lap around the rink was too much. Her head buzzed as she fought to keep herself upright. She slowly moved herself toward the bench and leaned against the railing.

  Her breathing slowed, and her body relaxed. She couldn’t let herself get caught up in the excitement, but it was so easy. There were too many smiles, and too much laughter. A group of pint-sized Transformers whizzed by her, chasing a cackling Batman. She smiled too, until a different smile turned in her direction.

  She was aware of Henrik. Always.

  He’d started a pickup game with a group of teenagers at the other end of the ice. He played goalie while the kids tried their best shootout moves on him. He sucked at goalie—not even on purpose—so the kids were having a blast.

  She intentionally looked the other way, but it was still there. That prickle of acknowledgment seeping down her spine. She focused her attention anywhere else, cursing Drew for abandoning her. Drew refused to skate, and immediately took Sam and Callen’s offer to play video games in one of the suites. So, instead, she looked for Austin, but he was busy helping his friend Michael pull his young toddlers around on a sled.

  Their smiles were contagious.

  Leila stood back and took it all in, smiling to herself for the first time as she watched the family-filled scene unfold in front of her.

  She even felt a little happy herself.

  The notion seemed foreign. As she thought back over the past two years, she wondered if she’d ever been happy at all. She couldn’t remember, but she doubted it. It was as if she’d gradually fallen into this construed misconception of what being happy actually meant. Her relationship had been a production, a show she played out every day to convince herself that she was content. Looking back on it, she remembered the hundreds of nights she spent alone, the unanswered phone calls, and the clipped conversations. It made her sad. She pitied that part of herself, the part that trusted, and always gave the benefit of the doubt. She’d never know that girl again. She would never be able to look in a man’s eyes and just believe his words as truth. Her heart was too jaded for that now, still too raw from the memories. She wondered if the pain would ever truly go away for good.

  She flinched, jerking her shoulder around. Henrik still watched her, his eyes trained on her as he stood unaware of the ensuing game around him. A puck zoomed by his shoulder without a blink of his eyes. She wanted to turn away again, but her body wouldn’t follow her mind’s demand. There was something about him, being near him, or feeling his gaze upon her, that transformed the ragged anger inside of her into something else, offering a moment’s relief.

  He absently handed his stick to someone and skated to her. He didn’t say a word. It wasn’t necessary. He simply stood beside her, turning to watch the vision displayed in front of them. She breathed for the first time, and she finally shared a little bit of the happiness that surrounded her.

  “I should have done this a long time ago.” She waved at the kid Austin pulled by in the sled.

  “What? Come to our team functions?”

  She shook her head, laughing when Austin took a sharp turn, rolling the kid off the sled to his complete delight. “Break up with Derek. Spend more time with Austin and Drew.”

  “And me,” he added, glancing over at her.

  She snorted. “That’s still up for debate.”

  There it was—the doubt that would plague her forever. She wanted to smile at Henrik, to admit the past couple weeks hadn’t actually been so bad having him around, and how he ignited that tiny spark of hope inside of her that maybe they could actually co-exist. Except, she couldn’t. There was too much at stake now.

  He rolled his eyes, obviously annoyed with her answer. “I thought we’d been having a good time lately. You know, on the rare occasion when you’re not unintentionally ignoring me.”

  She glanced at him, frowning at his ridiculous grin. His hair, which had started to grow out, stuck out from underneath the ball cap he’d traded in for his Michelangelo mask. It reminded her of college, all the times she’d seen him lounging in the commons area, his faded green Fighting Sioux hat hiding his bed head. The memory hurt. As much as she told herself that she hated him then, it was just a lie to save what was left of her cracked heart.

  “We’ve been tolerating each other,” she blew out, turning away from him. “I don’t necessarily know if that qualifies as having a good time.
”

  It was true. The past three weeks she hadn’t done much of anything. She’d called to have the few bills that were in her name transferred to Derek, but other than that, she’d been a ghost in Drew’s apartment. Randomly walking from one room to the next, not really sure what to do with herself. Sure, Henrik had been around during that time—stopping by for lunch after practice, or a late dinner after a game. He’d even brought over her favorite movies, and left his iPad for her so she could download some books. The more she thought about it, she realized he’d been there every single day, with the exception of the five days he was out of town on road trips.

  “You’re in denial.”

  Her brows shot up, suddenly taken aback by the harsh tone he’d used. “Of what?”

  He crossed his arms. “Our friendship.”

  “Sleeping together doesn’t make us friends,” she whispered back, using the same jilted tone of voice he’d used.

  They’d been lovers, once, and it didn’t go beyond that. To pretend otherwise would only be another mistake in the long list she was accumulating.

  He moved closer to her, his voice a soft rush between them. “We didn’t hook up for the hell of it, Leila. You came to me for help. You were upset, and I comforted you the best way I knew how at that point.”

  “How gentlemanly of you.”

  His teeth snapped together. “Damn it, Leila.”

  She tried to move, but he balled the edge of her shirt into a fist, holding her in place.

  “Why do you always have to be so damn stubborn with me?”

  She pried his fingers back, shooting a look toward Austin. He would draw attention to them if he didn’t stop. She didn’t want to have this conversation with him at all, let alone with an audience. All she wanted was to pretend she could be happy again.

  She could make it that way, she promised herself, eventually. She’d move somewhere, on her own, start fresh. She could do it by herself.

  Henrik shifted forward, now standing close enough that his chest brushed against the back of her shoulder. “Let’s say it was just sex. Even though we both know it wasn’t. Give me one good reason why we can’t be friends now.” He stepped back as Austin skated by, but then scooted even closer. “I’ve stopped accepting calls. I haven’t been out. I’ve even made it an entire two weeks without hitting on you.”

  “Is that some sort of record for you, or something?” she asked dryly, still looking forward, trying to deny the way his breath felt on her neck.

  “Well—yeah,” he admitted. “You haven’t exactly made it easy.”

  She glanced over her shoulder at him, and he grinned back at her. It was his you-can’t-stay-mad-me grin. “You look cute in green.”

  She rolled her eyes. She couldn’t do this again. Not with Henrik.

  “What?” He threw out his hands, laughing.

  She spun around, scowling at him. “That is exactly why we can’t be friends.”

  “Why? Because you’ve lost the ability to take a joke?” He followed after her, his every word saturated with the same unruly confidence that had turned her speechless from the very beginning. “A koala bear is cute. Bambi is cute. What’s so wrong with it?”

  “It’s not that.”

  He slid an inch closer. “Enlighten me, then.”

  “It’s that stupid look on your face. It’s the exact same one that you—” She stopped, realizing what she was about to admit to him. It was the same grin he gave her the first night she met him. The same night he almost gave her a concussion. She couldn’t stay mad at him then either.

  A friendship with Henrik would set herself up for failure again. He wasn’t capable of friendship, let alone—“Just never mind.”

  “That I what?” He hurried and skated up beside her, brushing his hands against her wrist. “Leila, talk to me.”

  She instantly jerked away. “No, Henrik. The simple fact is we can’t be friends.” It had already become more complicated than she ever intended. That night with Henrik was only meant to boost her ego and damper the betrayal that stung her so bitterly. If she had known what it would lead to—this reflux of emotion she thought died a long time ago, she might have just beat the hell out of Derek’s car instead. “As far as I’m concerned, we didn’t have sex that night.”

  He groaned, whirling in front of her so she’d have no choice but to look at him. “You can’t just pretend that night didn’t happen.”

  She stopped just before crashing into him, her cheeks burning as her voice unintentionally went up two octaves. “Yes, I can.”

  He paused, his hands grabbing her shoulders. She thought he’d surely be angry, but his touch was soft. She shook now, her pulse beating a warning in her ears. It had only taken a second for her reaction to spiral out of control.

  “Leila—”

  White spots sprinkled before her eyes as a cold sweat broke out across her forehead. She instantly felt nauseated, and it caused her to return Henrik’s grasp.

  “Leila,” he repeated as if he wasn’t sure she could even hear him. “Are you all right?”

  She could see him waving off people who turned around and stared. She blinked, her hand going to her throat and face. Heat stung her features. She was definitely going to be sick. “I need some air.” Her legs threatened to buckle beneath her. “I’ve got to get out of here.”

  “I know a place we can go,” he assured her.

  She clutched his hand and let him lead her off the ice.

  Chapter 14

  LEILA’S CHOICE

  Leila sat on the bench in front of Henrik’s locker, watching him silently panic on the floor in front of her. He tried to be super cool about it, but his eyes were dilated. He was scared, and if she was honest, she was terrified. It had never happened so quickly before, and, thankfully, she brought her medicine with her. She quickly downed it the first time Henrik turned his back.

  She sipped sparingly from a bottle of cold water he snatched from the team’s personal storage. Her face was ghostly. She knew it had to be. All the former glow it had shown only a half hour ago gone, replaced by the same misery and hopelessness that had been plaguing her for weeks.

  Henrik was unusually quiet. He’d taken off his skates, and scooted the toes of his socks up against the tips of hers.

  “Something is going on with you.” He didn’t look at her when he said it, because it wasn’t a question. Instead, he wiggled his toes against hers.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” She pulled her knees up to her chest.

  He moved forward, close enough to see her eyes as she tried to hide. “I can’t force you to tell me. I want to be here for you, though, even if I’m not really sure what that means.”

  She peered over her knees at him. She should tell him. Eventually, she’d have to tell him, or at least tell someone. “Not here,” she whispered, her voice still unsteady. “I don’t want to talk about it here.”

  He nodded, bringing himself to his feet. “Then let’s go somewhere else.”

  She looked at him, doubtful. “We can’t. Austin and Drew—the party.”

  “They’re grown men. They’ll survive without us,” he asserted, smiling at her. He held his hand out, offering her the choice of whether or not to take it.

  She studied him for a long moment. There was no over-confident grin. No mischievous twinkle in his eye. He was actually being serious for once.

  He really was scared.

  “Okay,” she agreed, finally, reaching up to intertwine her fingers with his.

  He immediately pulled her into a hug, burying his face in the tuft of curls cascading down the side of her face. “Thank you,” he offered.

  “For what?” she whispered into his shirt.

  He took a deep breath, and she could feel him smiling, and curling his hands into her thick curls, pulling her just a little closer. “I don’t know yet.”

  ***

  The sun hung low in the sky as the New York skyline disappeared behind them. There was something a
bout leaving, the thought of running away, that seemed to calm the fear that had risen up inside of her. Leila leaned her head back against the seat, taking deep, slow breaths as she enjoyed the view in front of her, and more importantly, the one beside her.

  Henrik had thrown a black jacket over his Ninja Turtle shirt, and ditched his hat in the back seat, but he still looked like a little kid sitting next to her. His eyes were wide, full of possibility, and that frightened her a little, but in the good, ‘it feels right’ kind of way.

  The clouds were a deep purple, scattered across the empty horizon. She had no idea where he was taking her, and she didn’t care. She could finally breathe again.

  He monitored her out of the corner of his eye. She knew he probably wanted to ask her a million questions, to pry into the source of her erratic reactions, but she couldn’t bring herself to disrupt the easy calmness between them. It was so rare. So, instead, she enjoyed the peace while it lasted. It wasn’t until hours later when they came up on a sleepy town on the outskirts of nowhere that she sat up and started asking questions.

  “Where are we?” She twisted in her seat, taking in every possible detail in the vicinity, attempting to pinpoint their location.

  “Cold Spring,” Henrik said, his eyes focused on the road. “This is where I train in the summer.”

  She studied the scenery outside the window, wondering what magical quality this town possessed to make him spend his entire summer there. There weren’t any bars or sorority houses.

  “My Uncle Gus lives here.” He smiled at her. “He was my coach growing up, and when I got traded to New York and signed my seven year contract, he and my Aunt Sarah wanted to move closer.”

  “They don’t like the city?” she questioned. She knew Henrik had lived in the south before moving to the Midwest for college.

  “They’re from Charlotte. What do you think?”

  She grinned over at him. “Are you sure we won’t be intruding?”

  “Yes, because they will never know we were even here.”