Addison

by Jennifer Foor

  She paused and wiped her face. “He’d been clean for three years. We shared many talks. I don’t understand what went wrong. Why didn’t he call his sponsor? If he did it on purpose I want to know why? What broke his heart so bad he’d want to give up?”

  I hugged her tighter, kissing the top of her head. “I’m sorry, precious.”

  She cried harder. For a few minutes I stood there just being the support she needed. When she finally calmed down she pulled away. “I’m going to head home. Take as long as you need.”

  “Addison,” I called as she began walking to her car door. “Are you okay to drive? Do you want to wait and I’ll follow you?”

  “I’ll be okay. Just promise me we can be together tonight.”

  “I promised your dad.”

  “I need you.” Her lips were trembling as she said it.

  “We’ll figure it out, okay? I promise.”

  Her sad eyes met mine. “You must think I’m a lunatic.”

  “I think you’re compassionate. There’s a huge difference. Listen, when I was in the Army my friends and I were off base one weekend. We hit this bar close enough to walk to. This woman was standing outside with her kid. Her eyes were sunken in and she looked like she could use a few all-you-can-eat buffets. Anyway, her kid was skin and bones. It was a little boy, begging us for change. I didn’t hesitate, not because I wanted to help the mom. I wanted that kid to have a good meal. I knew what it was like to wake up to an empty house, even as early as five years old. I was in that house for days without food. I used to eat ketchup packets. One time I remember chowing down on a dry pack of ramen noodles, because I was too young to know how to make them.”

  “That’s horrible.”

  “Anyway, I give this kid a twenty and tell him to go across the street to the gas station and buy as many hot dogs as he can. My friends gave him a few bucks each and we went into the bar. About an hour later I walked outside to use my phone. The boy was still hanging out against the building. His mother was next to him, a needle stuck in her arm, while she sat there unconscious. She took that money we gave the kid and scored with it, instead of feeding him. I was that kid, Addison. When I saw his face I saw myself; I saw that little kid who didn’t know it wasn’t normal for someone my age to be left alone.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I took the kid and got him something to eat. Then, while he was scarfing down his food, I called the cops. They picked up his mother, and social services came. Here’s the kicker. I told him he’d be better off without her. No kid wants to hear that, but he needed to. When she was picked up, she never once asked where her son was. Not once. My point is, I’ve seen a lot of shit. I underestimate people’s compassion because of the horrible conditions I had to grow up in. I look for the negative because I can relate to it. Sometimes people like me can’t even be fixed. I’m sorry your friend died. Life is hard. It’s ugly, and there are moments when I feel like it won’t ever get better. Don’t feel like you failed him, Addison. You didn’t. You’re not capable of failing someone. I know this because up until I met you I didn’t like myself. You’ve changed that. I’m learning what it’s like to be around a living angel. The work you do is important. People need you, even when they can’t admit it. You can be sad for your friend, but you didn’t fail him. It was his choice, and his alone.”

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

  “I survived. Ketchup packets obviously have nutritional value.”

  “Did social services take you from your mother?”

  “Several times. I hated them. It wasn’t until I was older that I understood why. My foster family was like living with aliens at first. I barely spoke. I hadn’t been in school in over a year. I didn’t associate with other children normally. I didn’t tell you this to make you feel sorry for me. It’s about what you do. The world needs more people like you. We think we have it bad, but there’s always someone else worse off.”

  “I’m sorry I went off on you.”

  “Don’t be. I’ll be your punching bag, if that’s what you need.”

  “I meant what I said this morning. I know it’s soon, but it’s how I feel.”

  “When you know, you know.” We kissed, and as I pulled away she was smiling again. “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”

  She nodded. “I’m sure.”

  “I’ll be right behind you. Meet me at the trailer. We’ll head over to your parents together, as a couple.”

  When she climbed into her car I made my way back inside. As fast as I could, I cleaned my station. I don’t know why, but I felt good about comforting Addison. I wanted her to know she could count on me, that I’d be there for her. Even if it meant bearing my soul to her, I’d make the sacrifice. She was worth it.

  Chapter 18

  Addison

  “Dad. What are you doing here?”

  I’d just pulled up at Cole’s trailer when I spotted my father coming outside.

  “We’re all out looking for your cousin. It seems she pulled a fast one this afternoon while you were gone.”

  “Why would she hide?” I acted like I didn’t know.

  My dad gave me a weird look. “Your aunt and uncle just want her to be safe. The guy she’s running around with is trouble. He’s wanted for armed robbery. Your uncle Conner found a concealed weapon in Cassie’s dresser yesterday.”

  “Holy crap. Cole will be here any second. We’ll help you find her.”

  The rumbling of a motorcycle motor started getting louder. I watched my father looking around to witness Cole pulling up. It was obvious he didn’t approve of his new wheels. “Have you been on that bike?”

  “No. He just got it.”

  He pointed at me, waiting until the motor was turned off so Cole could hear. “I want you to know I don’t approve of this. If I find out you’re on the back of that thing, you’ll catch hell.”

  Cole chimed in, and I felt my hopes of them hitting it off circling in the toilet. “With all due respect, sir, I think you’re daughter is old enough to make her own choices. I respect you for wanting to keep her safe, but I can assure you I want the same thing.”

  “Do you like having a roof over your head, son?”

  Cole stood at attention, like he was back in the Army. “Of course. I appreciate what your family has done to help me.”

  “Keep your thoughts to yourself. That’s my daughter. She’ll always be my daughter.”

  “I understand. Sorry if I overstepped.”

  My dad gave him a once over. “My daughter tells me you were in the service.”

  “Yes, I was.”

  “Where did you meet my daughter?”

  “We were both at the hospital one day at the same time. She was friends with my foster brother. She gave me a ride home one day, and we’ve been seeing each other ever since.”

  “Around here it’s proper to ask the dad if it’s okay to date his daughter.”

  “Dad, really?” I’d heard enough of his third degree on my boyfriend. “Don’t we have more pressing matters to tend to?”

  “Fine. You’re right. We don’t have the time.” My dad reached out and shook Cole’s hand. “I’m giving you permission. Don’t make me regret it.”

  “I won’t, sir.”

  My father hopped back on the gator, a gas powered farm vehicle, and took off down the dirt lane.

  “What was that about?” Cole asked.

  “I’ll explain later. Come on. We need to find my cousin. She might be in trouble.”

  We’d been searching for a good ten minutes. I’d explained all I knew to Cole, frantic that Cassie might be in danger. Then, as we checked a spot we frequented in the woods, a little shack we used to play in, my phone rang.

  It was my sister. “Chris?”

  “Addy, is anyone with you?” She was whispering.

  “Just Cole.”

  “Good. Don’t bother looking for Cassie. She’s not missing.”

  “What? You found her?”

>   “No. I’ve known where she was all along. I promised I’d keep it a secret.”

  “What? Why?”

  “They’re gone. I gave her money.”

  “What the hell are you talking about? Why would you do that?” Had my sister lost her damn mind? This was serious. Cassie could be in trouble.

  “Because if I didn’t do it she’d have nothing. Cassie’s not coming back, at least not for a while.”

  “Where did she go?”

  “Somewhere west. Probably Vegas. They didn’t say. She said she wanted to explore the world. She knew her parents wouldn’t allow it. This was the only way. You know what it’s like to have overbearing parents.”

  “Chris, Uncle Conner found a gun in her possession. They’re probably armed. He’s a criminal. What have you done?”

  “Stop playing around. They’re just two people in love.”

  Cole kept looking at me, waving his hands around, wondering what was going on.

  “Chris, Dad told me about it. They’re worried for her safety.”

  My line went silent.

  “Please tell me you’re joking.”

  “How much money did you give her?”

  “A grand. Ethan and I gave her a grand.”

  I felt sick to my stomach. Cassie was gone and none of us could reach her. “What about her phone? Would she answer if it was one of us?”

  “It’s in the garbage at my house. They broke both phones in half.”

  “The car? Can we track the car?”

  “Uncle Conner called the police. They said since she’s not officially been missing for twenty-four hours they can’t put out a missing person’s report. Uncle John called in a favor. He’s sending a unit out to help. We’re waiting for it to get here. He wanted to make sure she wasn’t hiding out before doing it, but Aunt Amy is a nervous wreck. What should I do? Should I tell them she’s gone?”

  No matter how I answered someone was going to get hurt. “You have to.”

  “Shit. Dad’s going to flip.”

  “You thought you were helping. How could you have known?”

  “I gotta go. If I were you I’d steer clear of the house tonight. You can stay with me if you need to.”

  I glanced at Cole. “Na, I’ve got a place in mind already.”

  “Don’t let Dad catch you there.”

  “I’m tired of listening to him.”

  “He’s in rare form already. Don’t make it worse.”

  “Tell Dad I’m staying at your house tonight.”

  “Addy.”

  “Just do it.”

  I knew she didn’t want to lie for me. She was in enough trouble, but I didn’t plan on getting caught. Besides, my dad knew I’d been intimate with Cole. I’d rather be open about it than have to lie.

  When I hung up I was standing in the woods, face to face with Cole. “What’s going on?”

  “We don’t have to keep looking. My cousin is gone. She took off with her boyfriend. Chris and Ethan gave them money. They’re long gone.”

  “Damn.”

  “The police are on the way. I say we go back to your place, get a hot shower, and climb into bed. What do you think?”

  Cole pulled me into his strong hold. “I think it’s a great idea.”

  The sound of thunder rumbled in the distance. “We better hurry. It’s going to storm.”

  We ran holding hands for most of the way. Once we reached his trailer we headed inside, locking the door behind us. For an extra measure of security, I put a chair in front of both doors. I didn’t need my dad walking in on what I had planned for the evening.

  Cole didn’t waste time. He pulled me along until we were standing in the bathroom. He turned on the shower and started lifting my shirt over my head. His eyes were burning into mine, sending me subliminal messages with what he was about to do to me. I watched his shirt rise above his head. His bare chest was inches away. My hands ran up both sides, dragging over his tiny nipples. I let go, taking hold of his pants, unbuttoning them and shoving them down around his ankles. He picked me up and sat me down on the vanity. I lifted my ass, allowing my shorts and panties to be removed easily. My bra was last. Cole bit down on his lip ring while focusing on unhooking it. I felt it loosen and him pushing the light fabric away. He took a step back and looked me over. I watched as he leaned against the opposite wall, grabbing his already stiff erection and stroking it. “Spread your legs.”

  “I thought we were getting a shower?”

  “We are. First, I want you to touch yourself. Make me finish without touching me.”

  I felt nervous. He’d put me on the spot. In all honesty, I felt like I was being judged. I was uncomfortable. “I don’t know what to do,” I awkwardly admitted.

  He smiled but kept jerking himself off. “Massage your inner thighs,” he struggled to say.

  I did as I was told, taking my palms and rubbing them over my legs. Instantly I started to get chills. I could feel the tingling in between, so I didn’t ask what he wanted next. Instead of watching Cole, I looked down at my pussy and drug my fingers over it. It tickled, so I did it again, this time applying more pressure. After a few seconds my eyes became heavier. I was getting in to it, forgetting he was my audience. “Is this what you want?”

  I could hardly contain the emotions I felt when I asked him.

  He nodded, his eyes watching, heavy and satiated. “Don’t stop. Go faster.”

  I had to stop watching. It was better to close my eyes and focus. The harder my fingers moved the more my body trembled. He was making sounds, familiar and strained. It was only a matter of minutes before he lost it. Knowing that turned me on. I wanted to race him to it. Before I knew what I was doing, I cried out, almost falling off the vanity from losing control.

  Then he was there, entering me without warning. I latched onto his neck, holding him the best I could as he pounded. His breathing was strained, while I struggled to come to grips with the fact that I was still having an orgasm. My body felt like a noodle I couldn’t get control of. In a matter of seconds I watched his muscles tightening, his face scrunch up, and finally him relaxing. “Shit,” he spat.

  It was too late to acknowledge we’d gotten carried away and forgotten something extremely important. He pulled out of me and ran both hands through his thick hair. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help it. You were…SHIT!”

  I don’t know why I wasn’t as bothered. Maybe Cole couldn’t see what I could. Maybe he didn’t have the feelings that I already felt. It didn’t matter. I remained calm. “I’m not angry, Cole. It’s fine.”

  “It’s not fine if you’re pregnant.”

  “You’re overreacting. My period is due any day. A woman is only fertile for forty-eight hours during the month. I’m certain we’re safe from an unwanted pregnancy.” I hopped down and got in the shower, for some reason feeling offended. When he joined me he tried to touch me and I pulled away. “Don’t.”

  How could I have been so foolish. I’d jumped into this with no regard for what could occur. What if I were to get pregnant? What if Cole hated children?

  “What did I do wrong?” He asked.

  I spun around. “I just want you to know I don’t believe in abortion. If that offends you we should probably stop doing this. Accidents happen, but I believe a child is a gift from God.”

  “Of course you do. I’m not disagreeing with you, but you know why I might be reluctant to find comfort in being a father.” He winced. “Is it necessary to talk about this now? We were just getting started.”

  I stared at him. “I told you I was falling in love with you, and you’ve said nothing. I don’t expect you to say it back, and I’d never want you to do it to make me happy, but it seems like you’re avoiding the conversation altogether.”

  He placed his hands on my shoulders. “Maybe I am. This thing between us scares the shit out of me. I promise there’s nowhere else I’d rather be though.”

  “That’s all you can say?”

  “I don’t want
to give you false hope, precious. I’ve got demons keeping me from losing myself in you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  This shower was neither romantic or sexy. It was more like a presidential debate no one wanted to tune in for.

  “It means I’m not going to talk about it right now. Don’t read extra into it.”

  I could feel tears rushing to my eyes. “I wish I never said it to you.”

  Before I could step out he grabbed my arms from behind and pulled me against his hard body. “Don’t leave mad.”

  “I need to lie down.”

  “Well I need you to stay. Please.”

  I darted out, ripping the towel bar halfway off the wall when I almost slipped getting one to dry off with. “I’m going to go home tonight.”

  “Addison, come on. What’s really happening here?”

  “It’s you. Every day you talk about some big secret. I’m tired of hearing it. If you can’t be honest then why should I waste my time? I want to be happy. I thought we could have it together, but maybe I’m jumping the gun. Maybe I’ve been so out of the loop that I created some instant kind of infatuation with you. Maybe I don’t even know what love feels like.”

  I was more than upset with myself. It was like a light bulb went off over my head. We were getting careless, and he still wouldn’t be straight with me.

  I got my shirt over my head before he came into the room, completely naked and dripping wet. “Don’t go. I want you here. You know I do. I’ve never told you I didn’t.”

  “I can’t do this tonight. Maybe I’m upset about Cassie. I just need to go home.”

  “Addison, wait!” I turned to see him wiping his face off. “I’ll tell you everything. Stay. Not because I’m asking, but because you know in your heart I feel the same damn way about you.”

  I closed my eyes, unable to accept it was the truth. “No. It’s too late.”