Lucky Witches

by A. A. Albright

  But there was another half of my parentage, a part about which I knew even less. The only thing I could be sure of was that my father was sióga. And the only reason I knew that was because I had sióga power.

  Arnold hated the sióga, and given the lengths he had gone to in order to force my parents apart and end their relationship for good, I felt sure that he knew exactly what my father had been. Which meant he must know what I was, too.

  And if that was the case, why did he want a relationship with me so much?

  I pulled my hair back off my face, looking for traces of the fae. But how would I even know what to look for? By all accounts, they could appear in any form they wished.

  ‘The only people who know about my sióga heritage are Grace, Dylan, Greg – and you. Until I know more about what Arnold really wants from me, I’m afraid of telling anyone else.’ I gave the cat a worried look. ‘I wish I could believe he just wanted to love me. But I don’t. He’s already made it clear what he thinks of vampires, and we know he hates the sióga, too. Fuzz … if I tell Jared and Pru about this, about what I am, and about the Queen’s challenge, then that just makes us even closer, doesn’t it? That makes us allies. And Arnold’s really not going to like me being allied with vampires.’

  ‘Arnold’s not going to like you being allied with anyone but him.’ Fuzz launched himself from my lap, pouncing on another strand of my hair. He clamped it in his jaw for a second, and then abandoned it and turned his eyes to me. ‘The Queen told you to gather allies you trust. I know you trust Pru – and I think you trust Jared, too. But when you and your little band of warriors do get a bit further along in the Queen’s challenge, let me know. Because if I’m going to need to rescue you again, then it’ll probably save time if I’m in the general vicinity.’

  I laughed dryly. So far, Fuzz had saved my life twice, and he had an ever-expanding stomach to prove just how grateful I was. ‘Hey, speaking of saving my life, the broom still hasn’t returned. I’m getting worried, Fuzz. Do you know where it is? Or if it’s coming back?’

  Fuzz sauntered towards the French doors and looked out over Riddler’s edge. ‘I have no idea where it is. But I’m sure it’ll be back.’

  I picked up a tube of lipgloss and dabbed some on. ‘It’s interesting that you’re referring to the broom as It,’ I remarked. ‘Seeing as the two of you seem so friendly all the time. There’ve been moments when I’m sure the two of you are having a conversation.’

  I studied the cat’s reflection in the mirror, expecting him to look shifty. Instead, he looked thoughtful. ‘We don’t speak. Not exactly. I just sort of know what the broom is thinking.’ He looked directly at me. ‘But you’re right. It’s not an It. Or that’s not how it feels to me. I’m not sure what’s with that broom, and I’d tell you if I was. But I am sure of one thing – a little while ago, when the man from the museum wanted to pull it apart and examine it? It was afraid, Ash. Afraid in a way that makes me think it’s just as alive as you and I.’

  12. Break a Heart, Break a Toe

  Pru and Greg were waiting out front for me. Given how the two of them were chatting so easily together, I had an incredibly hard time believing she had a crush on him. But there was no denying what had happened the night before. And Jared had confirmed it, too.

  As I neared them, Pru pointed further along the street. At first, I wasn’t sure what she was trying to show me, because I could see nothing. It took me a moment to realise that was precisely the point: there was nothing. This time yesterday evening, the lights from the Midsummer Fair were bright, and the sounds could be heard all over Riddler’s Edge – well, by anyone with supernatural ears, anyway.

  ‘The fair’s been cancelled for the night,’ said Pru. ‘I just got the call. There wasn’t a single person queuing at the gate when they opened up. So I guess I’ll be able to spend longer with you guys than I thought. Everyone’s at the casino, apparently.’

  I groaned. ‘Of course they are.’

  ‘Have you heard from the Wayfarers?’ asked Greg. ‘They must have some news for us by now.’

  ‘Nothing,’ I said, checking my phone just to be sure. As I did so, the phone began to ring. ‘It’s the number for their headquarters,’ I said. ‘Hopefully Gretel is calling to tell me that they’ve found out who’s behind this, and we can all go and have a drink and relax.’

  Pru barked out a laugh. ‘Yeah, that’s a nice thought.’

  As soon as I answered the call, I heard the voice of Gretel. ‘Aisling? Oh, thank the stars you answered. Listen, things are getting bad over here, so I don’t have a lot of time. Number one, Sean Ryan was murdered. Shane found a deadly toxin in his system when he did the autopsy – a potion called Broken Heart. The humans wouldn’t have been able to find it, all they’d see is a guy who had a heart attack. We searched his house this afternoon. It looks like someone replaced Sean’s heart meds with the Broken Heart.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Next of all, we think this has to be connected to the Crossroads and the wishing coins, but you’re going to have to figure out what’s going on over there by yourself. Because I think that the Wayfarers are about to be–’

  ‘Gretel?’ I said. ‘Gretel? The Wayfarers are about to be what, Gretel?’

  There was no reply. The line was completely dead.

  I looked at Greg and Pru. ‘Gretel got cut off.’ I bit my lip. ‘She told me Sean was murdered with a potion called Broken Heart. And I think something really bad has happened at their headquarters. Something to do with these stupid wishing coins.’

  As I talked, Greg typed furiously into his phone. ‘Here,’ he said, holding it up with an ashen face. ‘There’s been some breaking news.’

  Pru and I moved closer, and Greg played the video. It was from Wyrd News Nightly, and it had aired just five minutes before.

  Sandra, the Wyrd News Nightly presenter, was standing on the steps of a majestic looking building with a man I didn’t recognise. I’d seen the building on the news before, and I felt sure that it was the Wyrd Court – the seat of Irish supernatural government.

  I’d watched Sandra many times, but this evening she didn’t look like her usual polished self. Sure, she still had her shoulder-pads, and her blonde hair was just as perfectly styled as always. But there was an expression of disbelief, tinged with defeat, on her normally stoic features.

  ‘We have some breaking news for you this evening, folks,’ she said. ‘It’s just emerged that there was a gross miscount in last February’s election.’ Sandra paused, looking a little nauseous. ‘And that is why I’m standing here with Darrell Plimpton,’ she continued. ‘Some of you might remember that during the vote for the position of Minister for Magical Law, Darrell lost out by an incredible eighty-eight percent to twelve, making Beatrice Wayfair our most popular choice as Minister in living memory.’

  She gritted her teeth, drew back her shoulder-pads, and grimaced at the camera. ‘But today’s sudden and unexpected recount means that everything is about to change. Beatrice Wayfair is no longer the Minister for Magical Law.’ She looked at the man standing beside her. He reminded me a little of an insurance salesman I’d once had a terrible blind date with. ‘So, I suppose I’d better say welcome to Darrell Plimpton – our new Minister.’

  Darrell pulled at his tie. He looked just as shocked as Sandra did – although his shock seemed the happy sort, rather than horrified. ‘I can’t believe it, Sandra. I really can’t believe it. I only made my wishes ten minutes ago.’

  Sandra’s eyes bulged. ‘Your wishes. Minister Plimpton, are you telling me that the reason you are now Minister for Magical Law is because you made a wish?’

  He grinned. ‘Well, duh! I mean, I hung onto the coins since I won them last night, but I think from the moment I won big at the Crossroads, I knew what I wanted. So this evening, I finally took the leap. My first wish has already come true, and my second is happening as we speak.’

  Sandra looked even sicker than before. ‘Dare I ask what your second wish was?’


  His smile grew wider. ‘I wished for a world where Wayfarers are no longer our police force. Oh, Sandra, everything I ever wanted is coming to pass. I feel like I’m living in a dream.’

  ‘Really?’ said Sandra. ‘That’s funny, because I suddenly feel like I’m living in a nightmare. So tell me, Minister, do you really believe that a wish can bring down the Wayfarers?’

  ‘Oh, I know it can.’ He bounced up and down on his feet, his eyes gleaming. ‘As of a few minutes ago, there are no more Wayfarers. That’s right – I’m reinstating the Peacemaker force. In fact, I’ve already begun.’

  I wasn’t sure if Sandra could look more horrified. Her hand was white on her microphone, and she glared at the Minister. ‘The Peacemakers? The most loathed and feared supernatural police force of all time? Do you really think that’s a good idea, Minister Plimpton?’

  His left eye twitched, and he stopped smiling. ‘Are you daring to question the word of the Minister for Magical Law, Sandra? Because if you are, I can always throw you into Witchfield – which, by the way, is where most of the Wayfarers are currently being held. Along with Beatrice Wayfair, the former Minister for Magical Law.’

  Sandra turned to face the camera, her eyelashes fluttering wildly. ‘Well, there you have it, folks. We are now living in a world where the only qualification needed to be in charge is … well … being the owner of a mysterious wishing coin.’

  The news item ended and, as an advertisement for Glenda’s Glamours began to play, Greg switched off his phone.

  ‘This can’t be true,’ said Pru. ‘It just can’t be.’

  I looked from her to Greg. Both had ashen complexions. ‘I wasn’t around before the Wayfarers took over,’ I said. ‘Was it really that bad?’

  ‘No,’ said Greg. ‘It was worse. So what do we do? We have no Wayfarers to help out, and we have no Dylan, either. Do you think this whole thing could have been Darrell’s doing? He set all of this up so he could take over?’

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. ‘That’s a possibility. But then what in Hecate’s name does Sean have to do with it all? Or Roarke, for that matter? Because now that I know Sean was murdered, I’m beginning to think maybe Roarke’s accident wasn’t so accidental after all. Gretel said the Wayfarers suspect Sean’s murder is connected to the Crossroads, but even if she did know how, she’s hardly going to be able to tell me now.’

  Greg gulped. ‘But that could mean that whoever went after them could come after me next. I mean, they were both looking after the lighthouse, and now I am too.’

  Pru looked just about as confused as I felt. ‘But what does the lighthouse have to do with anything? Has anyone tried to call Dylan?’

  Greg shook his head. ‘His phone’s been off since the day he left. We’re going to have to figure this out without him. But what do we do first? Approach Darrell Plimpton and hope that his all-new Peacemakers don’t arrest us just for being alive? Or go to the Crossroads and hope that a hundred insane gamblers don’t beat us to death before we can get in the door?’

  ‘We do what Gretel said we should do,’ I said decisively. ‘We go to the Crossroads, and find out what we can from whoever’s running the casino. Then when we know a little bit more, we track the new Minister down.’

  ≈

  Greg walked out onto the road to open up his Wizardly Wagon for Pru and me. There was just enough room in the front for the three of us to sit, but it wouldn’t have been too much of a chore if I had to sit in the back. Yeah, Greg had a lot of strange-looking technology back there. But he also had quite a few snack-making machines. Oh, and a large-screen TV, too.

  ‘These seats are so plush,’ said Pru, smiling at him. ‘I love how purple everything is.’

  For some reason, Greg blushed. ‘Oh yeah. Purple’s your favourite colour, isn’t it? I almost forgot. You should try the soda fountain. It’s sparkling grape and it’s – woah! What the–?!’

  I stared out, but I couldn’t see Greg. Pru seemed to have left her seat, too. All I could see was a blur as she moved, trying her best to push Greg out of the way of the ice cream van that was about to mow him down.

  ≈

  ‘Oh, thank the stars!’ Pru patted Greg’s head as he came around. ‘You’re all right.’

  Greg sat up, rubbing his foot. ‘I’m okay,’ he said. ‘Well, other than what feels like a broken toe and an incredibly sore shoulder. But I’m alive. Thanks to you, Pru.’

  Pru’s face coloured. ‘I just did what anyone would have done.’

  Yeah, I thought – anyone who happened to be an incredibly speedy vampire. When I saw the ice cream van dashing at Greg, I’d been positive he was a gonner. Pru had launched herself out and dragged him away just in time. I could see by the tyre mark on his shoe that his foot had been crossed by the van, but the rest of him seemed to be fine.

  Philip, the ice cream man, looked intensely relieved – but also a little terrified. ‘I don’t understand. I was sure I was about to knock you down, Greg. But then this … blur … came from nowhere.’

  ‘No idea what that could have been,’ said Pru, doing her best to look innocent. ‘But what happened, Philip? You normally drive at about five miles an hour so that the kids can follow behind you and drool.’

  He laughed wryly. ‘Yeah, well, I’m normally a pretty safe driver, like you say. I don’t know what happened just now. One minute I was on the left side of the road, next minute I was swerving to try and avoid a dog and I just …’ He shook his head. ‘Funny thing, I didn’t even see where the dog went afterwards.’

  ‘No harm done, Philip.’ Greg stood up, holding his right foot in the air and wincing. ‘You go on and enjoy the rest of your evening.’

  Philip frowned. ‘Are you sure? I should call you a doctor. And give you my insurance details, too, so I can pay for your medical bills.’

  Greg winced in pain. ‘Doctor? Nah, I’m fine. Go on, Phil. Seriously.’

  The ice cream man stood his ground. ‘No. What sort of man would I be if I let my best customer limp off into the night after I knocked him down. You buy so much off me that I’ve been able to put my kids through college. I’m taking you to the emergency room. I insist.’

  Oh dear. How did you tell a human that he was delaying the solving of a supernatural crime? We could hardly tell him we didn’t have time for hospitals. Not when there were wishing coins on the loose. Someone or something had caused Philip to knock Greg down, and unless we could get to the casino, and soon, this madness might never end.

  Just when I was deciding how risky it would be to perform a freezing spell, Pru stepped in front of Philip and gazed into his eyes.

  ‘You’re so happy that Greg is all right and you haven’t hurt him badly,’ she said in a soft voice. ‘You’re going to go home now and put your feet up, and never think about this again.’

  Philip turned around, got back into his van, and drove off down the street.

  ‘You compelled him?’ I questioned.

  Pru bit her lower lip and patted my arm. ‘It’s not like what the witch hunter did to you,’ she said. ‘Humans feel good when a vampire compels them. Almost as good as when they’re bitten. Trust me. He’ll be happy for days.’

  ‘But in the meantime,’ said Greg, ‘someone else is going to have to drive us to the casino, because my foot is way too sore to operate the pedals. Can one of you help me into the back? I have a first aid kit in there.’

  Of course he did – he had everything else. ‘You look after Greg,’ I said to Pru. ‘I’ll drive. Although I might just do it the normal way.’

  Pru shook her head. ‘Oh no you won’t, Missy,’ she said as she helped Greg into the back. ‘I want a go in a flying van.’

  ‘Okay then – but don’t blame me if you vomit up your dinner.’ With a last, worried look at Greg, I got into the driver’s seat, and started the van.

  13. The House Doesn’t Always Want to Win

  The Crossroads appeared very different to how it had earlier. The house now had windows and doors
, for one thing. It even had potted plants and a red carpet leading to the entranceway. Or at least I thought the carpet was red. It was a bit difficult to see, considering there were at least a hundred people milling around on it, waiting to be let inside.

  I glanced back at Pru. ‘It might be time for you to get your vampire powers out again,’ I said. ‘See if we can skip that queue.’

  She grinned and rubbed her hands together. ‘I was hoping you’d say that.’

  Greg went to sit up, but she pushed him back. ‘And you, Mister, are staying right here. I know you say your ointment is magical, yada yada yada … but no matter how quickly it helps you heal, it’s not going to heal your toe in under a minute, now is it?’

  He gave a frustrated shake of his head. ‘It could be dangerous in there. I’m not letting you two go in without me.’

  Pru sniggered. ‘Because we need a big strong wizard to protect us? I’m a vampire, Greg. I can look after myself. And as for Aisling …’ She gave me a considering look. ‘Well, something tells me Aisling has one or two tricks up her sleeve, too.’

  ‘Pru is right,’ I said, grabbing his laptop bag and passing it to him. ‘It’s your IT skills we need right now, anyway. Find out what you can about this sudden new regime change. Oh – and find out where Darrell Plimpton is right now. Because if we don’t have any luck in here, then he’s our next call.’

  Greg muttered and mumbled a bit, but he turned on his computer and began to type, and Pru and I left him to it.

  It took a few seconds for us to get into the casino, and every single second was a thrill to watch.

  ‘That was even more impressive than your work on the ice cream man,’ I said. ‘Life could be so easy for a vampire if they wanted it to be. You wouldn’t even need to win some magical wishing coins. You could make the whole world do what you wanted.’

  Pru shrugged. ‘I could, if I was a selfish monster. There are laws in place so that particularly powerful vampires like the ones in my family can’t do too much damage. But honestly? We could get around most of those laws if we wanted to. But I prefer to get by on my winning charm.’ She gave me a sheepish grin. ‘I owe you an apology, Ash. I’ve never told you how I feel about Greg. I acted like a jealous girlfriend last night, and I had no right. I’m not his girlfriend, and I never will be.’