by Livia Grant
"Listen. I don't blame you for being pissed at me. I did kind of drop off the grid there for a while after reading everything. But that wasn't the only reason I didn't respond. Can we go somewhere and talk? Please."
"I don't think that's necessary."
"I do."
"Why?"
"Because. I owe you answers and I'm worried about you. I thought that reading the messages Veronica had written to Kevin would be the hardest parts for me, but it wasn't. Reading how that asshole talked about you... treated you... it guts me, Cali. I didn't know how to handle talking to you about it."
When Cali didn't respond, Nick added an invitation. "Please, come to dinner with me tonight."
"I'm not hungry."
"Fine, drinks then."
"I'm not thirsty."
"Please. Give me a chance to explain."
Silence stretched between them as Cali weighed her options. She decided she could hear him out as long as alcohol was involved, "Fine. Drinks. I hate Friday nights anyway."
"Thanks. You want to leave your car here and ride with me?"
"No. I think it's best if I drive myself. I'll follow you."
Cali followed Nick to an Irish pub in downtown Falls Church. They parked in the back and went in the side door. Despite the bright spring sunlight, the pub was dimly lit. They slid into a booth tucked away from the commotion around the large bar of Friday afternoon revelers. Cali ordered a Cosmo in the hopes of calming her ragged nerves triggered by Nick's unexpected appearance. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear what he had to say since reading all of the private texts and emails on the USB.
After the waitress left, Cali broke their silence. "So you got me here."
"Thanks again for coming. I have a couple of reasons for wanting to talk to you, and I'm trying to decide which I should start with. You..." Nick paused. Cali sensed his confusion. "You seem different, Cali. I'm worried about you."
"I'm sorry if I'm not living up to your expectations for how I'm supposed to grieve."
"Don't give me that shit. Don't forget who you're talking to. I'm not the enemy here, Calista."
Even Cali didn't understand where her anger was coming from, but she was fighting down the urge to scream. "I'm sorry. I know you're not the enemy, Nick. I'm messed up, okay? I'm trying to get through one day at a time. Some days are better than others. Today is a bad day. I'm angry."
"At me?"
"At the world. I'm angry with Kevin for leaving me without life insurance and a boatload of debt. I'm angry with my in-laws for blaming me, as if it were my fault I wasn't good enough for their son that he had to look outside our marriage. I'm furious at myself that I was actually afraid of losing him, as if he were worthy of my love in the first place. And yes, I'm angry at you that the few times I reached out to you in the last few months because I needed to talk to someone who understood, you ignored me."
"I deserve that. I am sorry I haven't been there for you, but I'm here now, Cali."
"And why is that, exactly?"
"Because I wanted to confess to you in person."
That had her attention. "Confess to what?" She gulped down the last of her Cosmo and motioned to the passing waitress to bring her another.
"You realize you gave me Kevin's entire phone backup, right?"
The buzz of the strong cocktail was already dulling her reactions. It took her time to understand what he was implying. "You read more than just the stuff between the two of them?"
"Yes."
"How much more?"
The waitress placed the next round and left before he answered. "Everything. Every fucking word."
Memories she'd wanted to forget surfaced. "That was an invasion of my privacy."
"Yes, and at first I felt guilty, but not anymore. The only one who should feel guilty is already dead. I just had to see your eyes when I ask you, why? Why the hell did you stay with him? Why did you let him treat you like that? Why did you let him hurt you?" He was fishing. Cali was pretty sure there was no proof of Kevin's physical abuse on his phone. Nick pressed her. "He did hurt you, didn't he?"
"This is none of your business."
"You're right, but maybe I want it to be."
"That doesn't make sense."
"You once offered to help babysit Andi. That's the second reason I wanted to talk with you. I wanted to know if the offer still stood."
"You want me to babysit?"
"Yes. I've tried three nannies in eight weeks. One was worse than the next. I will keep looking for a long-term solution, but I have to go to New York next week for two nights and I'm really in a pinch. I get that you're pissed at me, but I was hoping you'd help."
"What does me babysitting have to do with Kevin hurting me?"
"Nothing, I guess. I just knew if I saw you again, I'd need to confess that I'd read everything. That I knew that he was a bigger asshole than I even suspected."
"Yes, that he was."
"So, what do you say? Can you help me?"
"I don't know. Let me think about it."
"Okay. Maybe you could think about it over a burger? You should eat something if you're going to keep downing Cosmos at that rate."
"Thanks, dad."
"Ouch. I know I'm a few years older than you, but that hurt."
Cali didn't stop her smile. "So now we're even."
"Touché."
They manage to talk effortlessly for the next few hours while downing burgers and fries. Cali lost track of how many Cosmos she consumed, but they caught up to her when she stood to use the ladies room. By the time she got back to the booth, Nick had paid their bill and was holding her jacket for her.
He waited until they were outside to steer her to his car. She tried to keep going to her own car, but Nick stole the keys out of her hand. "Oh no you don't. I'm not letting you drive in this condition. I stopped drinking a while ago." He held the passenger door open, waiting for her to sink into the sports car. One look at his face and she knew there would be no changing his mind. In truth, he was right.
Once he was behind the wheel, he turned to her with a sad smile. "I'd better drive carefully. We could really create a stir if we got in an accident riding in the same car."
Cali's guard was down. She blurted her first thought. "Well, I doubt we'll get in an accident, unless you want me to give you a blowjob."
Nick had turned his attention to backing out, but he threw the car into park and stared at Cali. "What are you talking about?"
Cali's breath became short. Surely he knew? "Didn't you read the accident report from that night?"
"No. No one ever offered me a copy. It didn't seem important."
"I guess I'm not even sure if it's in there."
"What is?"
She was sobering up quickly. "Nothing. Never mind."
"Dammit, don't lie to me, Cali. What happened that night that I'm missing?"
Memories of identifying Veronica's smashed body had tears pooling. "Did you know the police made me go to the morgue to identify the bodies? Kevin had ID on him, but they couldn't find any ID for Veronica."
"Wait. You saw her body?"
"Yes."
"We had a closed casket because..."
"You don't need to explain. I saw them both."
"Holy shit, I'm so sorry they made you do that. I had no idea."
"Seeing them both dead was horrible, but it was the callous way the coroner told me that Veronica had bitten Kevin's cock off during the impact that shook me up. It was why she didn't have her seatbelt on."
For a minute, Cali wondered if he had even heard her. His first measurable reaction was a chuckle, which quickly snowballed into manic laughter.
"Nick, are you okay?"
It took him a few minutes to get the reaction out of his system. "That's priceless. Death by blowjob."
Nick finally got the car in motion and Cali's stomach rolled as she processed the alcohol in her system. By the time they arrived at her house, she was regretting her last drink. She had her k
eys in her hand and turned to say goodbye, but Nick was already out of the car and opening her car door. He walked her to the front door and when she had trouble with the lock, stepped in to help her in the darkness of the porch.
Once inside, she flicked on the lights of the foyer. Nick stepped in and glanced around, before his eyes returned to hers. An awkward silence fell over them during their first private moment.
"Thanks again for coming tonight. Just let me know by Monday if you can watch Andi next Wednesday and Thursday night and we can get the details together. If you need a ride to your car tomorrow, give me a call and I'll drive you, okay?"
Cali knew he was waiting for her reply, but she was temporarily paralyzed by emotions she didn't want to examine too closely. When Nick leaned forward to place a platonic kiss on her cheek, she smelled the masculine scent of his aftershave. He allowed his cheek to rest against hers as he hugged her closer.
Adrenaline mixed with alcohol fueled her next fateful move. As Nick pulled away from her like the gentleman that he was Cali reached to hug his waist to her tightly. When he looked down into her eyes, she pushed to her tippy toes to close the distance between them and pressed her lips against his.
It started as a chaste kiss, but didn't take long to escalate. Cali could taste the ale Nick had been drinking earlier as his tongue slipped between her lips. Her knees grew weak beneath her and he strengthened the hold he had on her, ensuring she wouldn't topple over. He shuffled them backwards until Cali pressed against the unforgiving front door at her back. Nick's solid body mashed against her.
By the time Nick pulled out of their kiss, they were both short of breath. Cali kept her eyes closed, afraid she'd see reproach in his eyes. "Cali, baby, open your eyes."
When she did, he looked more in control than he had at any time since she'd met him. The desire she saw on his face confused her.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't take advantage of you like this. You have enough shit on your plate to deal with without adding this to the pile." Figures he would apologize.
"What exactly is this?"
"A mistake, that's what it is."
"Ouch. So I'm a mistake?"
"Dammit, Cali. Stop putting words in my mouth. You know that's not what I meant."
"Do I? Listen, I get it. It's complicated, but I just thought..."
"Stop. It's the Cosmos talking."
"I'm not that drunk, Nick. I'm lonely. I know you could make me feel better."
"Maybe, but you'd only feel better for tonight. Tomorrow, you'd regret it."
"How do you know that?" Dare she finish her thought? "I've thought of you a lot since we had dinner. It's helped."
"Oh, Cali, I've thought of you too, but we're both so raw right now. I don't want either of us to get hurt worse than we already are."
Her brain knew he was right, but her heart and the rest of her body weren't listening. Months of celibacy partnered with the feel of his growing erection through their clothes spurred her into action. Cali slid her hand between their bodies, caressing his hardened cock through his slacks. She watched his eyes smolder with desire as her stroking hand turned his manhood to rock.
She hated the desperation in her voice as she begged. "Please stay. I don't want to be alone again tonight."
"Christ, Cali. You're not playing fair. I want you so bad, but I also feel like I'm supposed to be protecting you from anyone else hurting you, including myself. Haven't you been hurt enough?"
In her tipsy state, her thoughts were only of physical pain. "You'd never hurt me like Kevin, did. All of the bruises are finally gone."
"That asshole! He left bruises?"
"Only during sex. He didn't really abuse me like hitting me or anything."
"What a fucking prince."
They were in a stare down. He was right. Cali wasn't playing fair, but she just couldn't stand the idea of being alone again tonight. She continued to stroke his erection through his clothes until she was sure she felt him beginning to tremble under the burden of holding back from acting on his desire. She suspected she would feel foolish in the light of day for acting so wanton, but she'd deal with that tomorrow. Tonight, she wanted Nick to bed her – to make love to her – to remind her she was worthy of his attention.
She knew the second Nick made up his mind to stay. The uncertainty left his eyes and was replaced with a possessiveness that made her shiver. She was unprepared when he scooped her into his arms and turned towards the winding staircase that led to the upper floor bedrooms.
At the top of the stairs he finally spoke. "Which way, Cali?"
"The double doors at end of the hall."
Only after they were in the master bedroom did Cali second-guess her answer. Should they make love in her and Kevin's bed? The look of satisfaction in Nick's eyes as he realized where they were bothered Cali. Was he here for her or was he only interested in getting even with Kevin by fucking Cali in their marital bed?
She didn't have enough time to worry about it. Nick laid her head on the pillows before he stepped away from the bed to slowly undress. It was as if he were unwrapping a present for her. Her eyes darted back and forth between being consumed by the heat in his eyes and enjoying the gift of his athletic body as he took off each piece of clothing until he stood naked.
Cali let her eyes devour the rigid cock jutting out from his body. He was thicker than Kevin and she admired the masculine package Nicholas Mikos presented. She began to feel apprehensive that she wouldn't be able to match up to his expectations. Surely Roni was a better lover since Kevin sought her out. Would Nick be disappointed in her like Kevin always had been?
His words jarred her back to the present. "Unbutton your shirt, Calista."
She moved in slow motion, following his direction until her blouse fell open to expose her baby-blue lace bra.
"Unzip your slacks. Push 'em down your legs."
Cali did as he asked, never taking her eyes away from his. She noticed his breath becoming more labored as she kicked her slacks to the floor. She was down to her bikini underwear.
Nick sat on the bed next to her. He reached out to stroke her bare stomach before lifting her to a sitting position long enough to divest her of her blouse and unhook her bra. He laid her back gently before he pulled her bra straps down her arms and tossed it to the floor.
His first touch to her breasts was tentative. She enjoyed watching his reaction as her nipples grew under his ministrations. For all of her flaws, she knew she had good cleavage. They were just a bit bigger than his large hands could handle. Nick got bolder, cupping and squeezing until her sensitive peaks stood at attention.
When Nick climbed onto the bed, he straddled her thighs facing her and lunged forward to suck her tip into his hungry mouth. Cali was unaccustomed to the leisurely pace he was setting, particularly since he continued to make her the center of his attention. Cali lost herself in the sensation of his wet mouth sucking and nipping at her as he trailed kisses in the valley between her tits. She enjoyed running her fingers through his thick, black hair – holding him against her chest as if to subconsciously keep him from changing his mind.
He moved his lips lower, kissing his way to her belly button. He scooted down the bed so he could reach out and hook his fingers in the waistband of her panties. His eyes locked with her as he bared her pussy, pushing her legs open wide. Cali wanted to be embarrassed, but the look on his face wouldn't let her. The heat in his eyes made her feel beautiful – desired for the first time in a long time.
The first tentative swipes of his fingers through her slick folds pulled a groan from Cali. When he stopped to massage her clit, she felt her hips bucking off the bed. His playful grin knocked the wind out of her, literally. She'd always known Nick was a handsome man, but as he knelt before her, preparing to claim her, she realized just how much she wanted this. If she were honest with herself, she'd been attracted to him the first night they'd met, yet she was certain they would have never acted on the attraction between them.
&
nbsp; That was then, but this is now. Nick's warning about regretting their actions in the light of day flitted through her head. Was this just a one-night stand for him?
She didn't get to finish her analysis. Nick's mouth on her wet heat made it impossible to think of anything but the pleasure he was delivering. He refused to rush, spending long minutes licking... teasing... sucking... It was the slowest build up to a climax Cali could remember, but by the time he plunged two fingers deep inside her as he latched onto her clit, she crashed into the most exquisite orgasm of her life. She cried out as she bucked her hips off the bed, yet Nick's lips refused to leave her pussy until he had wrung every last drop of ecstasy from her.
Through narrowed eyelids she watched him finally sit up. His face was wet with her juices. He looked quite pleased with himself as he grinned down at her playfully. Warning bells were going off. In that moment, the connection between them felt so strong she worried that after he left, there might be another empty hole left in her heart.
She didn't get to dwell on it because Nick was blanketing her, his elbows on either side of her head to hold himself above her. She felt the crown of his hard-on at the entrance to her core. She held her breath, waiting for his insertion. When it didn't come, she opened her eyes to find him waiting for her. He was holding on by a thread. He didn't say a word. He just peered into her eyes as if he could read her thoughts and maybe he could because just as she was prepared to beg him to claim her, he pushed forward, piercing her channel. Her sheath was stretched as he filled her like she'd never been filled before. They each groaned as he bottomed out against her cervix.
She could tell he was trying to be gentle, but she didn't want gentle. She needed him to claim her. She wanted him to erase the pain she'd been carrying for months. Her quiet "Nick, please..." confused her because even she didn't know what she was asking for. Nick seemed to understand, though, because he pulled out of her body before ramming forward again and again. Her cunt was so wet from her first orgasm that his shaft slid easily in and out in a naughty rhythm until she'd come for a second time.
