The Wreck of Our Hearts

by Yajna Ramnath

  I watched her with a fascination that I had not had in anyone else. It wasn't lust or love or anything remotely romantic. It was an appreciation for how real this woman was. It was as if she knew exactly what I felt, probably, she did. In just a few minutes a complete stranger understood my headspace when for the last couple years my family couldn't grasp my reasons for behaving the way I did.

  “What did you do when you went on the defensive?”

  She laughed. “I’m still on the defensive.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair and winced when my fingers got tangled in it. “I first need to find a place to stay. I don’t think I could bear the disappointment of my family right now.”

  “Did they kick you out while you were still in hospital?” she asked with no judgment, just a lot of confusion.

  “Yeah, almost killing someone or myself for that matter seemed to have pissed them off,” I shrugged.

  “Well, yeah,” she rolled her eyes, she already felt more familiar to me. “What are you going to do about living arrangements? Want me to help you out?”

  "No," I smiled. "Don't get tangled up in my shit. Hopefully, the doctors are going to keep me for a day or two, so I can get a call to one of my buddies."

  “Hate to break it to you, pretty boy, but they’re signing your discharge papers out there.”

  Fuck. I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose to calm myself down before I completely lost it. I needed to call Parker or Clay and see whether they could put me up for a bit.

  “I’ll figure it out,” I finally said.

  Aria nodded in understanding as she took my features in. Once again there was nothing romantic about it. I clenched the coarse hospital blanket in my fist to keep from checking whether I still had a cock. Maybe the accident broke it or something. The woman was stunning, a little on the skinny side, but she was attractive nonetheless.

  “You could stay with me,” she said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

  “Sorry,” I blinked. “What?”

  She tilted her head to the side with an amused smirk on her face. “Your responses are making me feel really loved right now.”

  I chuckled uncomfortably. “We don’t know each other.”

  “We do know each other,” she said incredulously. “You’re Dasher!”

  I frowned and wondered what that was supposed to mean. Her face once again caught on to my lack of ability to pretend.

  “Besides,” she continued. “Do I know you any better than the people around you do?”

  Impulsivity was my strongest suit. I knew this was a bad idea. This girl was a stranger to me. Her bright blue eyes told stories of pain and sadness.

  I watched her until I noticed her become visibly uncomfortable and finally said. “Okay, Aria.”

  Chapter Two

  Aria

  "You did what?" Olivia shrieked into my ear. I roll my eyes as I watch the entrance of the Memorial Hospital that looked like one night here cost more than a night at the Hilton.

  It was a large white expensive affair that told me that Dasher was rich and his parents wanted him to have only the best. I couldn’t bring myself to judge him. He looked as broken as I felt. Something about him seemed so familiar. Maybe the pain in me called out to the pain in him.

  I sighed and repeated myself to Olivia, even though I know she heard me quite clearly. “I asked Dasher Camden to live with me for a while.”

  “First off,” she breathed. “Dasher Camden? The hot deejay from Allure?”

  I frowned as I tried to remember seeing him there. When I came up empty I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  I knew that my flippant responses were pissing Olivia off. Olivia Rayne was one of the two best friends that have stuck by me during every phase of my life. I could not even begin to imagine what my life would be like had they not been it. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through most of the harsh realities I had to face without either one.

  “Look,” I said after realizing that keeping quiet was only going to make things worse. “He has no place to go and I need someone to help out with rent.”

  “So why can’t you just give up the condo and come live with me till you find something?” she asked incredulously.

  “I need my space, Liv,” I sighed as I noticed Dasher limping his way toward the parking lot. “I need something different to focus my attention on.”

  “Don’t use this guy as a rebound,” she warned.

  I wanted to swear at her and ask her what she thought of me by even suggesting that. I knew it was all coming from a good place though and I swallowed my pride. “I won’t.”

  I hung up just as Dasher made his way over to where I stood next to his Audi. “Hi.”

  I smiled at him and repeated his greeting. "So, unfortunately, I don't have a car and I'm pretty sure you can't drive. Shall we Uber it?”

  Dasher frowned down at me and ran his fingers through his thick dark hair. His green eyes sparkled in the dull light of the cloudy day. “Where are we headed?”

  “Greenpoint, Brooklyn.”

  He raised his brows.

  “I know,” I rolled my eyes. “It isn't the Upper East Side—”

  “There’s nothing wrong with that,” he chuckled. He reached his hand into his pocket and handed me his keys. “I need you to take me to Park Avenue.”

  I snorted and gesture for him to enter his car. He gave me a sour look before awkwardly maneuvering himself into the passenger seat of his car. I noticed the dent next to the headlight as I made my way to the driver’s side and shook my head.

  “That’s gonna cost you a pretty penny,” I commented. The seats felt like butter and I half winced at the state of my tattered jeans touching the expensive leather.

  “The insurance will cover it,” he shrugged as if it was no big deal that he could possibly have killed someone or himself.

  I couldn’t judge though. I knew how destructive a person could get, especially if they have been through something they consider life altering. After all, he and I met on the bridge where I considered really seriously about jumping from.

  "To the Upper East Side, we go!" I said with fake enthusiasm, trying desperately to get my mind off my own issues.

  “Don’t sound too excited,” his soft voice grumbled.

  “I wouldn’t but I hate driving in New York and what’s even worse is that we’re going to be using the tunnels,” I shuddered. I hated dark closed spaces.

  “Not a fan of tunnels?” he asked.

  “Not at all.”

  I buckled my seatbelt and took a few seconds to enjoy the buttery soft leather. I was still dressed in the clothes from last night. My jeans were hardened at the bottoms. I couldn’t wait to get back home and clean up. A quick glance at the rearview mirror showed me that my eye makeup had hardened as well and made me look like a raccoon’s relative.

  I enjoyed the feel of the power steering as I zipped through the streets.

  “Why do you think it is a good idea for a complete stranger to live at your house for the next—” he trailed off and then continued after a beat, “however long I plan to be in your space?”

  I laughed at that and shrugged as I chanced a quick glance at him. “Like I said, I need help with the rent and besides, the crazy in you calls to the crazy in me.”

  I felt his laughter more than I heard it and it was a welcome feeling.

  “That’s good,” I said and winced when I realized I said that out loud.

  “What?” he turned to look at me.

  I entered onto Park Avenue Street and stopped in front of the ridiculously large and expensive high-rise apartments. "Nothing, will you be a while?"

  Dasher gave me an annoyed look and then struggled out of the car. "I doubt it. My brother would've already informed Smithers to arrange for all my things to be waiting for me in the foyer."

  My mouth dropped opened. “You have a butler named Smithers?”

  He stared at me as if daring me to judge him and then chuckled. �
�No, dumbass, we don’t have servants. Geez.”

  I watched Dasher hobble his way to the entrance; his shoulders still shook with laughter. Asshole. I pushed the seat down and relaxed. I hadn't slept in hours and I assumed Dasher was going to a while. After all, if he really did not have a Smithers then it was going to take him forever hobbling down with his belongings.

  Dasher

  I couldn’t stop laughing as I thought of the look on Aria’s face. She truly wasn’t from the kind of lifestyle I was born into. Something about that made the impending situation all the more welcome. To be surrounded by someone who didn’t care or have the lavish easy ways out that I did. I was actually excited.

  I knew she did not live in a dump because the townhouses and condos in Greenpoint were quite fancy. It made sense that she wanted a roommate, especially if what she told me on the ride over about leaving her job was true.

  I nodded at the concierge who seemed a little surprised to see me. Whether it was because of the limp or because by now my mother would've informed them that I'd be leaving—I didn't know or care, to be honest.

  I enter the penthouse which is filled with ornaments, tables and whatever tickles my mother’s fancy. I almost fist pumped the air when I realized that no one was home. I hobbled as fast as I could to my room and stopped short when I realized that it was no joke at all.

  My brother really had my things packed up and waiting for me. I noticed that the walls were now bare, and the bedding was stripped. I hobbled to the cupboards and found only empty hangers.

  With a pain that lanced through my heart, I fell to the bed.

  "I tried to explain to him that he should have let you do it yourself," my mother said from the threshold of my bedroom door.

  I turned my head and I wasn’t surprised to see her holding a glass of scotch in her hand. “What are trying to drown out now?”

  “Dasher!”

  "No!" I shouted and stood up. I made sure to stay where I was, lest I become him. “You hide behind that glass and that plastic smile of yours, but you forget that I had to see everything. No matter how much you and Travis want to pretend that nothing is wrong with this house!"

  “Dasher, it has been years since—”

  “Don’t even fucking talk about it!” I roared.

  “That is enough!” Travis’ voice boomed from behind my mother.

  She flinched and that had my body melting. I really did not want to create a scene. Somehow, seeing how quick they were to remove me from the house, sent me over the edge.

  “Did you even care where I was going to go?” I gritted as I stared into the empty gaze of my brother.

  Travis shrugged and cracked his neck from side to side. “You have a large bank balance, not to forget the trust fund that you haven’t touched and I noticed you have a woman asleep in the driver’s seat of your car—either way, you were going to land on your feet.”

  I stared in disbelief at my brother. He was lean yet imposing. I was wider and taller, but my size could never overtake his cold and menacing stare.

  “I think you need to evaluate who the real monster in this house actually is,” I said to my mother as I tried to pile as many of my things in my hands and on my shoulders. “Apparently, it’s no longer David Camden.”

  Travis snorted and walked away from the door with his parting words. “If you honestly believe that, then you haven’t looked in the mirror as of late.”

  The concierge rushed to help me and we piled everything into the boot and back seat of the Audi. The slamming of the door jolted Aria awake. She looked drained. Her long blonde hair looked tangled in her low knot. Her bright blue eyes were large and had circles forming under them. She was going to crash hard.

  I felt bad that she had another long drive ahead of her.

  “Are you okay?” she asked when she caught sight of what must have been a thunderous look on my face.

  “I will be,” I laid my head against the seat and let my mind take over for a while.

  Surprisingly we made it to Brooklyn in record time. Greenpoint had such a homey feel compared to the pretentious feeling of Park Avenue. We only lived there because both David and Travis thought it would look better for business. God, Travis was so much like our father I’m surprised I never noticed it before.

  Aria turned onto Kent Street and the brown townhouses look vintage. The setting of the street reminded me of those sitcoms where the street was filled with people and the houses looked inviting. She parked in front of the wrought iron black fence and turned to me.

  “Well, this is us,” she said tiredly.

  “Awesome,” I responded and stared at the brown four-story building. “This looks really cool.”

  She laughed and said. “Thanks, I doubt you’re gonna feel that way when you get inside. It isn't like Park Avenue.”

  I hobbled out of the car and grabbed a handful of my stuff, while she grabbed the other stuff. “Park Avenue is overrated.”

  Aria scanned a card at the entrance and the little-wrought iron gate unlocked.

  “That seems a little unnecessary,” I said out loud. “Couldn’t someone actually jump over if they wanted to get in without a card?”

  Aria stopped and looked at me with amusement. “I had that very same question. I decided to try it once, the guard immediately ran out with his Taser.”

  She pointed up at the large trees that stood on either side of the fence. “They have cameras.”

  “Neat,” I grinned, thoroughly impressed with it.

  We walked past the manicured lawn and up the steps to the stained-glass door and then walked down the narrow hall. We veered to the right and walked up one flight of stairs. To her credit Aria continuously asked whether I was okay because of the limp.

  Her door was on the left of the stairs. “Is your apartment the only one on this floor?”

  “Yeah,” she struggled to unlock her large brown door. “Each floor only has one apartment. I got this back when I decided to be impulsive with my paycheck. Now, I’m stuck with it for the next twelve months. I still love it though.”

  She pushed the door opened and it was like entering a completely different world. It was open plan with large framed windows overlooking the street. She had mismatched furniture. One large tan three-seater and an orange armchair with a bean bag chair near the window. She had a large flat screen mounted on the wall and a few frames on her mantel.

  Just a little bit away from the lounge was a counter separating the kitchen from the lounge. The kitchen appeared huge and decorated in whites and greys. Four barstools stood in front of the counter and a large fruit bowl.

  “Okay so this is it,” she gestured at the space.

  We walked down the little hall which had three doors at the end. Two doors were opposite each other while one was in the center. She pointed at the center door, “my room,” she pointed at the door on the left, “your room,” and then she pointed at the door on the right, “bathroom.”

  Aria opened the door to the room that was going to be mine and dumped my stuff on the double bed. “I’m so sorry. I obviously didn’t know I was going to have anyone staying here, so most of the bedding is in the cupboards. I’ll make up the bed for you in a little bit.”

  “I can do it,” I said absently as I looked at the light open room. It was small but it fit a double bed, had a large desk on the side where I could set up my equipment and a large window overlooking the side of the building with light blue curtains. This felt homier than my room in Park Avenue did.

  “This is really amazing, Aria,” I looked at her with gratitude. “Thank you, really.”

  Aria shrugged and she smiled tiredly. “I know what it’s like to need a moment to regroup and deal, especially since everything that just happened. We’ll go over rules and boundaries later, I really need to bath and crash.”

  I nodded with what I hoped was a kind smile. “Have a good sleep.”

  Chapter Three

  Dasher

  When I woke up and asse
ssed my surroundings I was disorientated. It was dark in the room and the streetlights filtered in through the light curtains. It felt quiet and peaceful in an odd way. I rose from the bed and threw on a tank. I made my way out of the room and straight into the bathroom to swish some mouthwash around and then take a leak.

  Once done, I followed the scent of cheese to the kitchen and found the flat screen turned on to the news with the volume low and Aria in a Mickey Mouse t-shirt and denim shorts as she grilled some sort of cheese thing.

  “Hey,” I said while sliding into one of the stools.

  She turned around and saluted me with the spatula. “Up for pizza bread?”

  "Uh, what?" I looked at her confused.

  She grinned and instead went to town making whatever that was and then brought it to me.

  “This is pizza bread!” she said with excitement that made her face look so childlike. “It is a slice of bread with cheese, sliced tomato and herbs to give it a kick.”

  Aria impatiently waited until I took a bite. “Oh, this is good.”

  After we were done with Aria’s pizza bread which tasted amazing we made our way to the three-seater. She sat on one end while I took the other.

  “So, rules,” she said while tossing her hair up into a messy bun. “One, no bringing home randoms.”

  “Understood,” I nodded. It wasn’t like I was into one night stands anymore.

  “Respecting each other’s privacy, simple things like knocking on doors and cleaning up when you’re done in the bathroom,” she rolled her eyes as if it should be obvious. “I noticed your equipment which means you’d be doing your thing here as well?”

  “Yeah,” I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees. “Will that be an issue?”

  “As long as it isn't window rattling and floor thumping,” she raised her brows. “Then it’s all good.”

  “Awesome.”