The Wreck of Our Hearts

by Yajna Ramnath

  I toggled with the EQs on the mixer and changed up the sound while introducing a Spanish song. The mood changed completely as the women danced a lot sexier and the men were getting exactly what they wanted. I grinned at a particular couple that got down and dirty. Leo was on the dance floor, and this was the first time I had seen him show his moves to his customers.

  The girl’s face was hidden but the sinful way in which she moved her body along Leo’s also made me hard. It wasn’t until he grabbed her and dipped her low that I saw Aria sway her hips directly into his. My hands shook as I continued to throw in other mixing techniques while keeping my eyes on the erotic way the blonde angel danced with our boss.

  Her hair was a mess from Leo’s hands and her black tank top raised just enough to show a band of skin above her maroon skinny jeans. Her head was thrown back against Leo’s shoulder and his head was buried at her neck.

  I wish I could’ve believed that maybe she did it to catch my attention. I wish I could even say that she did it to spite me because of what happened the other day.

  But… in all honesty, Aria was just letting go and having fun. Unfortunately, it wasn’t with me.

  My set past quicker than I expected, I was hard-pressed to ask the next DJ whether he wouldn't mind me staying up there a little longer. I knew I had to face the situation anyway. Was this how Aria felt when she saw Paisley and me together?

  I packed up my stuff and waited in the dark parking lot for Aria. Usually, she would come home with me after a set.

  I thought about our relationship and how it deteriorated over the last few days ever since I called the girls the night she took forever to come home. To be honest, I was afraid of what I would've found out if I was the one who questioned her. I was deeply attracted to her and I knew she was as attracted to me. The part we both agreed on was that neither of us was good enough for the other.

  We had too many issues in the way of being together.

  It still did not mean that I could handle the way she was with Leo and if my suspicions were correct, the way she must’ve been with whoever else that fateful night.

  After she had basically ignored the girls that night, Katya had tried to talk to her. Whatever she had learned in there, set a strange pace to the dynamic in our group.

  I waited for about ten minutes before I finally decided to go in and check on her.

  I looked around the vast dancefloor and did not see her anywhere. I glanced at the bar and apart from the four bartenders and the many patrons demanding drinks, I didn’t see her there either. Deciding that maybe she went to gather her things I go to her office.

  Usually, I don't knock, so this time I didn't either.

  I wished I did.

  Leo and Aria both turned to look at me while letting go of each other. Aria was against the desk with Leo almost on top of her. He moved away while she stood up and straightened her tank. I hoped to any God that was up there and guiding my torturous fate, that there was no shock or sadness on my face when I spoke.

  “You want a ride home?” I asked.

  “No,” she responded in an even tone. “I’ll catch you later.”

  Without another word, I nodded and left.

  Aria

  I watched Dasher leave with his head hung low. It pissed me off. How dare he react to me making out with someone when he does it in my house? I frowned as Leo moved away and leaned against the wall with his muscular arms folded.

  “You didn’t tell me I was stepping into something between you and Dasher,” Leo’s husky voice sounded really annoyed.

  “There isn't anything between me and Dasher,” I snorted. I straightened out the things on my desk and sat in my chair facing him. “There’s just a lot of tension since he betrayed my trust.”

  “Saying it enough doesn’t make it believable,” he chuckled and took a seat in the visitor chair.

  “He has a girlfriend, Leo,” I gritted. “Don’t make it something it isn't.”

  “Having someone in your life doesn’t always stop you from having feelings for someone else, Aria.”

  I glared at him. “Don’t I know it?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Leo frowned at me.

  "My ex-dumped me after three years only to replace me within four months," I shrugged. "So, I know all about people who lose interest while they're still in relationships. It's probably the reason why I prefer the one night stands as opposed to the full-blown relationships."

  "At some point," he stood up. "You're gonna have to stop using your past as an excuse to act like an asshole."

  I laughed as he left the office. I grabbed my phone and called an Uber to hightail it to the only place where I could always clear my thoughts.

  Brooklyn Bridge seemed to bring back very different memories. I walked along the narrow pavement, my heels clicked with every flash of seeing Dasher’s car fishtailing into the other lady’s car. I had checked on her. Turned out she was okay and that she did not blame him one bit. Of course, I refused to mention his name. Apparently, the Camden name carried some heavyweight among the wealthy circles.

  I reached my favorite spot which was the middle of the bridge next to the tall arcs which stood tall over the inky black water. I stared at the rippling liquid as I contemplated life and the way things were going. I was disappointed at the way I was treating everyone. Sure, it bothered me that they babied me, but there were other ways I could deal with things. Pushing Katya and Olivia away was the worst thing I could do for myself.

  “This is strange,” Dasher’s voice startled me.

  He held up his hands in surrender. I took a few seconds to look at him. He was dressed in a pair of faded jeans and his Allure t-shirt. I really needed to broach that branding topic with Leo. These shirts, although hot on Dasher, looked really boring. His dark hair was mussed and his green eyes looked tired.

  “It is,” I answered after the silence seemed to make him uncomfortable. “Why did you come here?”

  “Same as you I would guess,” Dasher responded and mimicked my stance by leaning on the railing.

  I let the air riffle my hair as I thought about putting the awkwardness to rest.

  “Dasher,” I started. I felt him turn to face me as I spoke. “When I decided to let you into my life it was because I saw something in you that made me believe that if there was anyone who would get me, it would be you.”

  I turned around and looked at him. “While I understand that maybe you were worried about me acting out of character, I trusted you to understand and not to judge.”

  “To be honest,” he swallowed. “I didn’t think it was my place to broach it with you, which is why I called your friends. I guess part of me did not want to face the fact that I was too afraid to deal with your spiral because it would make me face my own.”

  “I respect that,” I agreed. “But I need you to understand that it felt like a massive betrayal to have been attacked that way. Sure, my girls mean well, but sometimes when you are going through a difficult time, you don’t want to be judged or questioned.”

  “I get that,” Dasher raked his fingers through his hair. His eyes looked bloodshot suddenly. “I lost someone. I lost someone to the point where the only way I can ever talk to her or be with her is if I’m sitting in front of a six by nine slab of concrete which summarizes her life in three words. None of those words which hold a candle to what she was to me.”

  I looked at him with no sort of emotion on my face even though inside I ached for him.

  “I deal with that every day for the last two years,” he sighed and hung his head. “I know it’s been long enough but—”

  I snorted. “Who says there has to be a time limit to getting over someone?”

  Dasher looked up at me with a look of appreciation.

  “I lost someone too,” I said. “Not to death, but to another girl. I invested years of myself and my sanity into him only for him to realize that I was never going where he was.”

  “That’s bullshit!”r />
  “Maybe,” I said and tilted my head from side to side. “But that is what I deal with every day. As my friends and family—and every other person who knows me—says that there is nothing wrong with me, they don’t have to wake up every morning and compare themselves to her.”

  Dasher looked at me and sighed. His green eyes blazed as he turned his attention on me fully. He grabbed my chin between his right-hand thumb and forefinger. He peered into my eyes with an honesty that brought up a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I did not want to confront.

  “I know that no amount of words or clichéd quotes is going to help,” he chuckled. “Believe me, I’ve heard them all.” Dasher smiled softly. “Trust me when I say that you are a wonderful and beautiful person. You are slightly twisted at times, but that’s part of who you are. You are an amazing person to have in my corner and I’m ever so grateful that you chose to take a chance on me.”

  I stared into those honest green eyes. Every fiber of my being ached to lean forward and to plant my lips on his. Every inch of my body cried to feel him against me in a tight warm embrace. I knew neither could happen. He had a girlfriend. I never wanted to be that girl who made a move on someone who clearly had someone else in their lives.

  “Do you promise to let me be? If you feel like I’m doing something extremely wrong, would you be honest enough to talk to me about it, instead of going to the girls?”

  Dasher let go of face and held out his hand with a devastating grin. “I promise.”

  Chapter Ten

  Dasher

  I felt much lighter after telling Aria the cliffs notes version of Emma. I wasn't in the mood to receive any pity, although judging from Aria's initial response I figured she would never give any pity. In fact, I would be shocked if she showed any emotion at all.

  I was busy mixing tracks and getting my practice done in my bedroom when the door opened to reveal Aria. She looked fresh out of a shower. Her short blonde hair looked like noodles and that made me grin even while the tank and mini denim shorts made me hard.

  “What’s up?” I asked as I backtracked a song into another and then brought the initial song back.

  Her eyes reached her hairline as I did that and she slowly walked forward. “That is incredible.”

  I was about to turn the mixer off considering I noticed she had her laptop in her hand, but she stopped me. “No! I wanna see what you do.”

  Pride swelled in my chest at the look of awe on her face as I tried a few tricks with songs that I knew she liked. I couldn’t help but show off for her. There was just something about the way she looked at me. It almost felt like her heart was in her eyes.

  There was no doubt that there was an intense amount of chemistry between us. With the different stories that we had, I knew it would be a difficult feat trying to date each other and live together at the same time.

  I rounded off the mix and made sure I saved the audio on my laptop to upload to my channel later. I was going to call it Aria. I’m a sap, I know.

  “So, what’s up?” I asked again.

  “You are so talented,” she said and swallowed. She shook her head and then walked over to my bed and crossed her legs as she sat down with her laptop in front of her. “Take a look at this.”

  I removed the headphones from around my neck and sat next to her. In such proximity, I could smell the rose lotion she used. I know this only because it stays in the bathroom. That we share.

  “So,” she snapped me out of my sniff fest. “I want to broach this with Leo.”

  Hearing his name from her lips had my hackles raised. “Are you two still going at whatever it was that I walked in on yesterday?”

  “No,” she bit her pouty lip and looked up at me. Those wide blue eyes could lead a man to destruction. “It was just a heat of the moment thing.”

  “Is the heat of the moment thing something you have been doing as of late?” I raised my brows at her.

  "That is a conversation for another day," she said, annoyed. "Now back to what I was trying to show you, this is my idea of rebranding Allure.”

  I looked away from her and to the screen. I was instantly surprised at what I saw. Gone was the boring script with the understated color scheme. Instead, Allure was done in old English script. The curves of the A entwined itself through the remaining letters giving it a gothic look with the color scheme of neon green and black.

  "That looks amazing," I said truthfully. The logo was a neon drawing of a couple dancing. The man and woman's bodies were pressed together and he held her hand up while the other was on where her hip should have been.

  “You’re really talented,” I mimicked her earlier statement of me.

  She blushed. “Do you think he would go for this?”

  “He’d be an idiot if he doesn’t,” I said. “But I’m sure he would.”

  “Thanks,” she started to slide off the bed, and without thinking I grabbed her thigh.

  She turned around with a shock and her eyes widened a little as she looked at my hand on her. I swallowed and didn’t remove it as if I was burned like I wanted to, instead I slowly moved my hand away. “Stay for a bit. I feel like I hardly saw you this week that you decided to avoid me.”

  "For a good reason," she rolled her eyes but returned to her position cross-legged in the middle of my bed.

  “Yeah,” I chuckled. “Let’s not bring that up.”

  “Fine with me,” she shrugged. “What time do you head to the club?”

  “Not going tonight,” I grinned. “It’s my first free Saturday in forever.”

  Aria chuckled. “With how much you love your sets, it surprises me that you’re actually excited about a night off.”

  “Sometimes it gets a bit much,” I admitted. “There are times when I just want to be with my music without the screaming horde.”

  Aria nodded as if she understood. “I go in tonight for my mandatory nine-hour shift, I’m going to show Leo my idea.”

  A foreign feeling of jealousy popped right back up when she mentioned his name. I guess I would never be able to get the image of the two of them out of my head. “I’m sure he would love it.”

  “Uh huh,” she said unconvinced. “Anyway, let me get ready. I’ll text you when I know his decision.”

  “Good luck, killer,” I smiled as I watched her small perky butt retreat from my bedroom.

  There were times when I found myself imagining what Aria would feel like underneath me. She was thin with slight curves that were meant for my hands. That dip just above her ass seemed as if her body was shaped just for my hands.

  I used to fantasize about wrapping her hair around my fist, now that it was short, I thought about how I would slide my fingers against the back of her scalp and pull her head back to suckle on her neck.

  Fuck! I needed to stop my train of thought. There was only one way to do that.

  I texted Paisley.

  Aria

  Leo stared at the presentation. There was no obvious reaction, nor could I guess what he was thinking, and this is what made me wring my fingers together while I stood next to the chair he sat in.

  “What do you think this is going to change?” he asked in a stable, emotionless voice.

  “Well, as it stands Allure doesn’t have anything branded,” I swallowed, hoping I wasn’t offending him. “Apart from the t-shirts. There is a whole host of things you can do with this branding. For example, the logo itself can cater to a salsa night or couples night. The logo can also be used on the straws. The neon writing could be done on all your stemware, creating a glow in the dark effect under the strobe lights.”

  Leo looked at me with a raised brow. “How much do you anticipate this costing me?”

  “Considering you already have the artwork, it won’t cost you a shitload,” I answered with a little hope. “I know quite a few who would do it at a lower price just so that they can get the exposure.”

  “And how much are you going to charge me for selling me this rebranding idea?”


  I widened my eyes with a big smile. “That means you’re considering it?”

  Leo rolled his eyes and brushed back his red messy hair. “It means I’m saying yes.”

  I screamed and jumped up and down. I reached forward and gave him a big hug. "Oh, my word! This is huge!"

  “That’s what they all say,” he wiggled his brows.

  I shoved him away. “Don’t be gross. Oh wow, this is epic!”

  “So what are you charging me?” he asked again.

  "Nothing at all," I said. "Just the permission to use this in my portfolio."

  “You have it,” he grinned. “Dasher was right, you were going to be an asset.”

  “Ah, speaking of Dasher,” I said and pulled my phone out. “I should call him and tell him you agreed.”

  “You guys kiss and make up?”

  I rolled my eyes. “We made up yes.”

  I dialed Dasher’s number and waited until he answered. I knew he was at the apartment because when I left four hours ago he indicated that he was probably going to watch reruns and make more music for a disc he was making for some music bigwig.

  “Hello?”

  My body froze when I heard Paisley’s voice. “Hey Paisley,” I said and hoped I didn’t sound anything other than normal. “Is Dasher around?”

  “He just stepped into the shower,” she answered in that purely sweet voice of hers. “Anything urgent?”

  I closed my eyes and willed away the tears that threatened to brim. “No, I just called to let him know that won’t be coming home early.”

  “Okay, I’ll let him know,” she said. “Uhm, can I ask you something?”

  “Yeah,” I said and clenched my fist.

  “Would be okay if I stayed over? Dasher says he doesn’t think you’d be okay with that.”

  I laughed and I know it sounded forced. “As long as you don’t have me starting to behave like a guest in my own home, you’re welcome to stay over. I told Dasher this as well, I just need my boundaries and the sanctuary of my home to be respected.”