The Deepest Blue (Roadmap to Your Heart #2)

by Christina Lee

  “I guess he can be wrong about that one thing,” Billie said as he plopped back down. “Except, I don’t see why God would want daddy to feel so sad and lonely by making momma die. Maybe he got his wires crossed by keeping me here and letting her go.”

  Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat as if unsure whether he should be privy to such an intimate conversation. Cassie’s watery eyes flashed to mine, sadness and regret present in them. Before she could speak up to comfort Billie like she was always so good at doing, I jumped in.

  “Maybe God thought that you had something really special to offer,” I said, my voice low and scratchy, as I sank down on the ground beside him. “And we wouldn’t be able to appreciate your extraordinary gift unless he took her away to do some other job.”

  I could feel Dean and Cassie’s gaze on me but I refused to look in their direction, keeping my eyes fixed on my baby brother, who’d had a tough road.

  He sat up to listen to what I had to say and looked close to crumbling. Before I could even think to reach out to him first, he threw himself in my arms.

  “Now you just sound like Grammy,” he said real low.

  “Maybe Grammy’s taught me a thing or two,” I said into his hair before I kissed the top of his head, his stray curls appearing dark as the night, close to the color of the gorgeous man sitting across from us now.

  At this point all the fight had drained out of me and I just wanted to hit the hay.

  “Maybe you learned some things too—about yourself—since Cassie went off to college.” I heard my sister’s quiet gasp at Billie’s remark. I knew that she had struggled with her decision to get her master’s in a completely different state, even though she hadn’t shared any of it with me. And since she’d been away I had definitely stepped up as an emotional anchor for my younger brother.

  I ruffled his hair and held his slight body away from mine. “Now don’t go getting all sappy and thoughtful on me. I’ve had enough for one night.”

  He sat back with a grin before standing up and finding a mauled tennis ball on the ground for Bullseye to chew and chase in the yard. We sat in silence watching Billie and his loyal companion for a while longer, enjoying the flickering fire and the array of shimmering stars.

  “I didn’t come here to cause trouble, Callum,” Dean said in a soft voice, his eyes pleading. My gaze snagged on his full lips and the sincerity in his features. “I’m Cassie’s guest. I meant no disrespect.”

  “I apologize for the way I treated you earlier. I get that you have a problem with the way we live,” I said, holding his gaze steady. “But you’re on our property and I’d appreciate it if you keep your opinions to yourself when daddy or Grammy are around. This business has been in our family for a hundred years and we’re just trying to keep our heads afloat. There’s as much to be said for tradition and hard work as there is for modernizing their views.”

  “Agreed,” Dean said, his eyes flicking all around my face. “My intention was never to insult anybody.”

  “It’s cool,” I said. “Believe it or not, I respect your opinion as well. You’re smart and kind to my sister, so I hope it works out for the both of you.”

  Cassie ducked her head and Dean looked away, muttering, “Thanks.”

  My stomach throbbed. I need to get over this ridiculous fascination with my sister’s boyfriend. I finished the rest of my beer, but before I could get up and say good night, Dean beat me to the punch.

  “I’m heading to bed,” Dean said, leaning over and giving Cassie a peck on the cheek. “Going for a run in the morning. Billie told me about a good trail.”

  “Which one?” I looked down at Billie, who had taken a seat by the fire again.

  “I told him he should head along the creek up to Pines Ledge,” Billie said.

  I nodded in agreement, because it was a pretty view and a straightforward path.

  “I didn’t realize you were so active,” I said to Dean.

  “Bikes everywhere in the city, too,” Cassie said. “How would you know much of anything about Dean anyway? You only just met him a few hours ago.”

  I raised my eyebrow at my sister’s snarky retort. Touché. She stared back unabashedly and I saw how Dean tucked a smirk in the side of his cheek.

  “Running keeps me sane,” Dean said with a glint in his eyes. Then he turned on his heels before I could say anything more. “Good night.”

  6

  Dean

  This ranch featured six bedrooms, three on each side of the house, with one in-law suite off the great room, which was an addition for Grammy. I had been set up in a guest room next door to Billie and across the hall from Callum, whom at the moment, I was relieved to get away from. He had challenged my judgment, reason, and sense all day long and my muscles were so twitchy, they ached. A run would be refreshing in the morning.

  As I lay down on the firm mattress beneath the comfortable sheets, I continued thinking about Callum, who somehow made my entire body thrum with tension. I couldn’t exactly disagree with his philosophy about life. It was well thought out and sound. Screw him for making me question everything I had believed I stood for.

  And the way he looked at me, like he was unraveling me piece by piece? Damn. I couldn’t help wondering what other assumptions he’d made about me.

  The larger question was why did I even care? That was my final thought before I finally dozed off.

  When the alarm on my phone woke me out of my sleep, I had been dreaming of Callum saving me from being eaten by a crocodile. Seriously, the man was fucking with my brain.

  Was I really doing this? Running on this unfamiliar property in the early morning dawn? Being here had gotten my head so twisted up I couldn’t even trust my own instincts anymore.

  That thought propelled me out of bed. I was going for a jog, plain and simple. I threw on some running shorts and a loose T-shirt and headed through the dark and silent house.

  When I stepped on the porch as quietly as possible, the sun was just rising in the east and I’d admit, it took my breath away. It was cool this time of morning, which was a relief from the mugginess of the night before.

  I was bending over in a deep stretch of my calf muscles when the screen door swung open. My head jerked behind me as Callum stepped onto the porch. Guess he got up early as well.

  I was too tired to talk even though my pulse was now thudding, so I merely grunted in his direction. He sat on the steps below me to tie his sneakers. He didn’t look my way, only out at the horizon. The sky splattered with orange and pink paint strokes, as the world awoke from its slumber. It was truly picturesque and only motivated me further.

  Callum’s shoulders were taut with tension and I pondered why being in my presence caused him so much stress. It made me wonder if I had surrounded myself with so many similar-minded friends back in the city that it had almost become insular.

  When I first came out in high school in a New Jersey suburb, it was a lengthy battle to become who I was meant to be. By college, I had already made a life for myself by ignoring most of the negativity, so that I could focus on being happy. I probably hadn’t had anybody challenge me in a long period of time, outside of my professors at the university.

  It made me want to place my hands on Callum’s skin and work out those kinks, show him that I could soothe as much as ruffle.

  Callum stood up suddenly and began stretching as well. He bent at the waist to touch his toes and then went into a deep lunge, facing away from me. I saw how his calf muscles were rock hard and I had to wonder how much of that power was natural.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, finally breaking the silence between us.

  “Going with you for a run,” he grumbled, as he stretched his neck muscles. “Figure it was the least I could do since I wasn’t very welcoming yesterday.”

  “I don’t need a babysitter.” The words flew out before I could stop them.

  I should’ve been grateful but all I could hear was the underlying sting in his voice. As if I
was simply one of his daily chores.

  “Of course not,” he bit out. “But figured on your first day out you might want company in case you run into any problems.”

  A shiver raced through me. He was only trying to spook me. I was just about to tell him so when a whimper came from the direction of the screen door. Bullseye was nudging at the handle, asking to be let out. Callum turned the knob to set him free and he sniffed fleetingly at us before rushing down the stairs to do his business in the yard.

  I figured this was a good time to get moving, while Callum was distracted with the dog.

  “Do whatever you want,” I mumbled as I took off toward the trail that Billie had pointed out to me after lunch yesterday.

  Starting at a slow and steady pace, I attempted to get my feet acclimated to the terrain, which consisted of dirt, patches of grass, and small scattered stones. I was used to strictly concrete, so my calves might very well take a pounding out here.

  I actually wasn’t sure if Callum would follow, but then his feet stomping the dense ground gave him away. When he caught up to me, I kept my eyes on the path, as some brush scraped past my thighs. When I next heard panting behind me, I nearly jumped out of my skin until I realized that Bullseye had joined us.

  I couldn’t help staring at Callum’s powerful thighs out of the corner of my eye as he kept up his stride. He was a beautiful sight with his red brown curls pulled back in a knot at the nape of his neck. Though I nearly matched him in height, he resembled a beefy lumberjack. If I dared mention it, he would probably punch me in the nuts.

  Sweat was pouring down my back and had I been alone I would’ve yanked my shirt off by now. So why hadn’t I? Who the fuck cared? I was certain that Callum had seen plenty of bare chests in his lifetime.

  I wrenched the shirt from my shoulders and pushed it sloppily inside my shorts. I could feel his eyes on me, probably marveling at how puny I looked next to somebody like him. Still, I had nothing to prove.

  But when he ripped off his T-shirt as well, I clenched my jaw to hold in my gasp. All of that tanned muscle on display. When I finally turned my head toward him his eyes met mine and held. I slid my gaze away but not before noticing his bulging pecs and the line of lighter hair that circled his areolas and ran down the center of his chest.

  Fuck. He was trying to torture me. I stared straight ahead before I gave myself away.

  The only sound was our labored breathing and the wind rustling through the leaves. Had I been alone I would’ve been able to appreciate the charm and beauty of the landscape. But with him right beside me, my breaths were expelling at a faster rate, leaving me more winded than I had anticipated. When we dodged beneath a canopy of tall pine trees, the air surrounding us turned cooler, bringing me needed relief.

  It was almost unsettling back here with the light intermittently blotted out from the tall trunks and high branches all standing at attention like warriors. Billie had described that the path just beyond these trees became an incline. It apparently led up to an outcrop with a huge rock to sit and take a break if I needed to before heading back.

  When Bullseye tore ahead of us into the brush it forced my thoughts back to Billie.

  “The dog doesn’t need to stay by your brother’s side at all times?” I asked, breaking the silence. I hoped he didn’t think my question was insensitive. It was more out of curiosity and concern than anything.

  “Billie hasn’t seized in months,” Callum said, between heavy gusts of breaths and I felt guilty for making him talk. But I had intentionally kept a slower pace, unsure if he had run anytime recently. In my own way I was still catering to him, even though he hadn’t been gracious to me at all yesterday. I had half a mind to speed up, but I wanted to have this conversation, especially if it centered on Billie.

  “Bullseye has been able to warn Billie before a seizure happens, so that he can get to a safe location,” he continued. “That dog has saved his life. If Bullseye’s away from him, it’s only for an hour here or there when he’s awake. Billie’s the one who let him out in the hall. He knows Bullseye loves being in the woods.”

  I was in awe of the animal and of Billie. Epilepsy couldn’t be easy to live with and I felt terrible that Billie has had to struggle his whole life with a condition that was debilitating to so many. Cassie had only mentioned in passing that her mother had died in childbirth when she was about ten years old and that she had a younger brother that had an illness.

  But I naively thought it was a one-time thing, not a constant battle. Who knew that Billie was such a brilliant and interesting kid? If anything, I was glad to have met him on this trip.

  7

  Dean

  Ahead of us there was a clearing and as we ran up the incline, we decreased our speed, both of us gasping for air. Though Callum looked more spent, his face red and sweaty, and again I questioned when he’d last been for a run.

  I spotted the ledge with a wooden railing and the large rock Billie had told me about. I slowed my stride and pulled my water bottle from the pack on my hip. I jogged in place as I looked around.

  I had no idea if Callum would keep going or join me for a short break but regardless, I knew my way back to the house now. If anything, Bullseye was sure to lead me on the right path, unless he followed Callum home instead.

  Callum skidded to a halt beside me and hunched over at the waist to catch his breath. He straightened after another second, and looking out into the distance, pulled his own water bottle out.

  He took a long chug and then pointed into the vast brush. “See that enclosed area near the marsh?”

  I looked in the direction of his hand. I saw a thick fence that appeared to divide this property from the one next door. There was a change in scenery in well. Whereas this preserve was lush and green, the Lorrigan’s was more swampy and brown.

  “That’s where they bring the gators,” he said. “The guests can hunt them all they want, but if they tag out, their season is over.”

  I squinted, trying to imagine the alligators swimming in the murky water and I’d admit, the idea of it unnerved me.

  “The state has checks and balances in place for hunters,” he continued. “Both of our families donate a portion of our earnings to a wildlife fund and the remaining gators are free to roam in the wild.”

  I got the feeling that he was giving me a lecture of sorts, or attempting to convince me of something. “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

  “I wasn’t trying to,” he said, his eyes darting to mine and then to the pines again. “Just figured you might be curious about how it all operates. That one month feeds plenty of families in the profession, much like the crabbing business along the Eastern Seaboard. Though we catch an ample amount here as well.”

  “So what does your family have to do with the Lorrigan’s place besides helping with overflow on the land?” I asked, since we were actually having a civil conversation.

  “Dad and Mr. Lorrigan have talked about merging for years now,” he said, with a tightened jaw and I had to wonder why the subject seemed to irk him so much. “To expand the land and business.”

  “How does Cassie figure into any of that?” I said. “I mean, she told me about Jerry.”

  He looked at me with narrowed eyes and then his shoulders seemed to sag. “Guess lots of folks around here can be set in their ways. Still got their notions about how things should be, as far as combining respectable families in marriage.”

  I didn’t dare breathe a word, eating up everything he had to say, because his viewpoint was always interesting. “Though I suspect Mr. Lorrigan might just be holding out on us and his son marrying Cassie is an excuse to keep us at bay.”

  My head snapped back at that revelation. “What do you mean?”

  “Never mind,” he said quickly, shaking his head, and I got the impression he said more than he meant to.

  We drank our water in silence, simply breathing the cool air next to each other. When I spotted a large barren field, I asked, “W
hat’s that patch of land over there?”

  “It’s a dead zone. We can’t get anything to grow,” he said, cringing. “We’ve been trying to resurrect a sugar cane field, like my family had a few decades ago when Grammy was young.”

  I nodded, rapt with attention. “How many acres you got here?”

  “Almost a thousand,” he said. “And that patch of land is the one we struggle with most. After a time, we just gave up and figured out some other things.”

  Just then, Bullseye came bursting through the trees, hot on the trail of something he was chasing, and I remembered we were in the wild, and there could’ve been anything out there. Had I been here alone, I wasn’t sure I would’ve taken this long of a break.

  Still, I was enjoying the scenery and the breeze. And the company, if I was being honest with myself.

  “You don’t have to wait for me,” I said, finishing the last of my water. “You can head back anytime.”

  “I’m cool, just relax,” he huffed out. “If I wanted to leave, I would.”

  I rolled my eyes and could feel his gaze searing into me.

  “How often do you run in the city?” The southern twang to his voice was more pronounced when he was irritated.

  “Almost every morning,” I said. “Cassie knows that I—”

  What the fuck was I saying? I couldn’t let on that we were roommates. God, this was getting stupid and fast. Why couldn’t she just tell her brother we were pretending? Exactly why were they no longer close?

  I was going to ask her for more details as soon as I returned to the house.

  Callum was still staring, waiting for me to continue. “I was just going to say that Cassie knows how much I need to run. It relaxes me, keeps me in shape.”

  His eyes slid down my chest to my stomach. I wish I knew what the fuck he was thinking.

  “Of course I’m not as built as you are—you obviously do a whole bunch of weight training,” I said, motioning to his physique.