Broken by Love

by C. A. Harms

  Taking the last few steps to the living room, I saw the people who at that moment I wanted to fucking strangle. I knew then that our current happiness had shifted. Gritting my teeth together, I slid my hand with the ring into my pocket, working it off before continuing the last few feet into the room.

  “Hello, Carson.” I tried to refrain from looking so displeased.

  I nodded. “Mr. and Mrs. Moore. What brings you to our part of town?” The fact of the matter was they had never stepped foot in our house. They never visited and never called, either. Seeing them standing in our doorway like it was natural for them to stop by infuriated me. They took a moment that was just seconds away from being one of the most amazing ones and turned it straight to shit.

  “We thought we would stop and see our granddaughter before she took her first steps.” Of course the venom in her mother’s comment did not go unnoticed by anyone in the room.

  Her father scolded her with a look that I had to say shocked me. He looked irritated and annoyed.

  My eyes met Kate’s, and I saw she was uncomfortable. Looking back at her mother, I smiled as kindly as I could. “Well, Kathy, you and Jim are welcome to visit Carley whenever you can find the time.” Her mother did not smile, but her father chuckled, and once again I was caught off guard with his relaxed state. I could tell Kate was a little floored by the way she was watching her dad.

  Jim took a step toward Kate and kissed the top of her head before he held his hands out. “Would you mind if I snatched up this little princess for a little while?” Kate’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, her mouth opening and then shutting quickly. She actually resembled a fish out of water, and I cleared my throat to keep from laughing at her expression.

  Her gaze met mine and then flipped back to her father. “Um, sure… yeah. You can hold her if you want.”

  Jim smiled brightly, taking her from Kate as gently as possible so not to disturb her sleeping state. He curled her close to his chest and brushed his fingers along her hair just over her forehead. His eyes suddenly appeared glossy, and once again I was confused with his demeanor. Her father was a man of few words. He was always so serious and unapproachable.

  When he spoke, I knew Kate was just as moved as I was. “You two did well with this little angel. She is beautiful, just like her mommy.” His eyes met Kate’s, and I saw her lip tremble. “I’m proud of you, Katelynn. She is absolutely perfect, sweetheart.” A silent moment passed before Kate made her way to her father, and he wrapped his free arm over her shoulder and pulled her into his side. They stood this way in silence looking down at Carley before he glanced up at me. I nodded to let him know how moved I was by the moment.

  I looked over at her mother, and the look on her face was hard to read, but if I had to guess, she was pissed. This lady was unbelievable and a straight up snotty bitch.

  Something was definitely going on here. I had a feeling the surprises were far from over.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Kate

  I was in shock. Yeah, I was pretty sure it was shock I felt. My father and I shared a moment earlier, and my heart still ached from it. I remembered very few times in my life when my father told me he was proud of me. The moment he said it tonight, it took everything I had not to bawl like a baby.

  I had spent so many years longing for my dad to show me I was loved, and it never came. He was always so busy working or being dragged off to social events my mother forced him to attend. We never had a father-daughter relationship, and I was starved for his approval.

  My mother, on the other hand, spent every day trying to change me. She needed me to be perfect and pushed me into all the things I now despised. I think the only thing I picked up from my mother was my shopping addiction.

  She always forced me to be in beauty pageants and dance shows with all the frilly costumes. She hauled Kara and me off weekend after weekend to compete. I probably would have learned to love them if she hadn’t made me feel like first place was the only acceptable outcome. If you didn’t win, it was simply a waste of her valuable time. Oh my god, and the flirting. My mother was a pathological flirt. She flaunted herself and said it was all about appearances. “Make everyone follow, Kate. Make them long to be near you.” Those were her words, not mine. Gag, I know. I always felt sorry for my dad because he was a good man, just trapped by a bitchy wife.

  I would never treat Carley the way my mother treated me. I would never force her to do anything in her life. I would never make her feel like she failed. I didn’t care if she came in last place at everything she did. She would always be the winner in my eyes.

  So there I sat on my couch with Carson at my side staring in to my father’s eyes, and I knew what I felt was pure shock. Every time I opened my mouth to speak, nothing came out. I ran tonight’s events over and over in my mind.

  My mom glared at my father as I blinked in confusion. He looked… happy. For the first time in my life he appeared younger and so relaxed. He was completely at ease, like the weight of the life he had led all these years had now been lifted.

  Carson squeezed my hand gently. “You okay?” He tilted his head to the side, watching me closely. I nodded in an attempt to reassure him.

  Looking back over at my parents, I finally spoke. “A divorce?” I swallowed, and I swore I heard it echo through my living room. My parents were getting a divorce.

  “Yes, a divorce, Katelynn. It was his doing, and I refuse to fight for a man who doesn’t want to fight for me.” I shook my head, seeing the ugliness in her as she continued to act like she couldn’t care less.

  My father ignored her attitude as he stood from the couch. “Our problems are not yours, Kate. Fighting for someone who gave up on our marriage so many years ago seems useless. Some things cannot be reversed. This happens to be one of them.”

  He walked over and took my hand, pulling me to my feet. He pulled me in for a hug and spoke against my ear. “I love you, Katelynn. You have spent a majority of your life questioning that, and I take full responsibility.” He pushed back and slouched in front of me, looking directly in my eyes. “Things are going to change, and from this day forward you won’t have the opportunity to question my love for you ever again.” He continued to stare at me intensely as if willing me to accept his words. I couldn’t speak; I could only nod.

  Of coursed my mother “Hmphed” in disapproval of my father’s words. She stood quickly and exited through my front door without as much as a goodbye.

  My father reached out and shook Carson’s hand. “Take care of my daughter and my granddaughter. You will be seeing a lot more of me.”

  Carson smiled back at my father. “You have my word, sir.”

  “Katelynn, you and I will talk more later. There are reasons that fully justify my decision. There will be things I need you to help me with. Things you will have to accept. Some of those things may be very difficult. I just need you to remember one thing. Promise me you will.” He waited for me to agree. I nodded and he continued. “No matter how this ends, whatever comes out throughout this mess, I will always be here for you.”

  I stood in my living room unsure of how I honestly felt about the recent news. Carson followed my father to the door saying a quick goodbye before making his way back to me. I felt his arms wrapped around me from behind. “Hey, baby, are you okay?” He twisted me around to face him. “Talk to me, beautiful. Tell me what you’re feeling.”

  At that moment I had nothing to say. I wasn’t sure how I felt about everything. I just knew I needed to feel Carson’s love. I wanted his arms around me. I needed him to reassure me that we would not be like my parents. I was second guessing love and marriage… everything.

  “Just hold me, please. I need to feel you next to me. Take me to bed and hold me,” I whispered against his neck.

  He carried me to our room. After we changed, we both climbed under the covers and snuggled close. Carson wrapped me into his strong arms and kissed me softly.

  “I love you, Kate.”


  “I love you too.”

  We drifted off to sleep as my mind continued to run through the years of my parents’ marriage, remembering all the times my father would lock himself in his office for hours just to get away from my mother’s nagging.

  Were they ever in love? How did it all change? What changed? And most importantly, what could my father have meant when he said ‘whatever comes out?’

  Chapter Twenty Six

  Carson

  “How’s she doing?”

  “She’s been quiet, Ry. I try talking to her, but she just keeps saying she’s okay.” I pulled into the precinct lot and turned off my truck. “I’m going on duty in about ten minutes. I’m worried about her. Do you think maybe you can go over and spend the day with her? Maybe plan something. I’ll be gone until ten tonight. I don’t really want her home doing nothing all day, alone.”

  “Yeah, sure. Maybe I can get the girls together and we can surprise her with a girls’ day.” I knew I could count on Riley.

  “Thank, sis. I’ll check in later.”

  ***

  The day started out slow, but once the afternoon hit, everything went nuts. Between all the disturbance calls and bar fights, I couldn’t wait for the night to end.

  When I got home a little after ten and found my living room overloaded with women, I couldn’t help but laugh. Riley wasn’t joking when she said she was going to rally up the girls. The place was full, and Kate’s laugh as I entered made the crazy sight before me completely worth it. They had blankets and pillows everywhere. A movie was playing and junky food was piled on the coffee table.

  Kate’s gaze connected with mine, and I winked. She smiled, standing from the couch and making her way over to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down to place her lips against mine. I allowed myself to get a little lost in the kiss until a few whistles broke the trance.

  “Carson, you make that uniform look hot. Damn!” Kelly hollered out, and a few more whistles echoed through the room. “Got any friends on the force who look as good as you do? I could use myself a real man.” Bree laughed while Lily nodded in agreement.

  “Okay, ladies, enough. I need a few minutes alone with my hot man. I’ll be right back.” Kate took my hand and pulled me down the hall toward our bedroom.

  Once we entered our room she shut the door and wrapped her arms around me. “I know you were behind tonight.” She kissed me gently. “It was a sweet thought, and I really appreciate it.” She ran her fingers over my cheek, and I leaned into her touch, allowing my eyes to close. “I love you so much, Carson… and I am fine.” I opened my eyes, watching her closely. “I promise you I am. It was a shock, yes. But honestly, I’m not that surprised about it all.”

  I brought my forehead to rest against hers. “I love you too, baby. I just worry about you.”

  “I know you do. You are a good man.”

  “I’m trying, beautiful. I promised you I would take care of you. I will do whatever I have to do to make you happy.” I kissed her, pulling back to hover, before whispering, “When you’re hurting, I’m hurting.”

  “As long as I have you and Carley, my world is complete, I promise.” I pulled her against me, holding her tightly. She rested her head against my chest, and we stood in this position without speaking, taking in the silence and the comfort of one another.

  After a few minutes, she pulled back. “I better get back out there. Your brothers and Zander are hanging at Ry’s apartment. They said if you feel like stopping over, they’re playing cards or something.”

  “’I need to jump in the shower. I had a long day. I think I’m just gonna go to bed.” I kissed her once more before letting her go back out to her slumber party.

  ***

  I woke up when I felt a hand slide across my bare chest. The covers pulled down just before Kate slipped over my body to straddle my hips. I brought my hands up, placing them on her thighs.

  She leaned forward, tracing my chest with her tongue. This was one hell of a way to be brought out of a deep sleep. She rocked her hips against me as she continued to run her tongue along the side of my neck. She rained soft kisses along my jaw until she finally brought her lips to mine. “I want you… so bad,” she whispered.

  “You have me, baby. Whenever you need me, you have me.” Sliding my hands up her thighs further, I found she was naked, which was a welcome surprise. Reaching between us, I discovered she was wet, and fuck if that wasn’t hot as hell.

  I slipped a finger into her, and she moaned against my lips. “Oh my god, Carson, I need you now. Please make love to me.”

  I gripped her waist and rolled us over. I looked down into her eyes as I lowered my boxers. Taking myself into my fisted hand, I ran the head of my cock through her wetness. I groaned as I nudged myself forward, causing her to moan. I watched her eyes as I slowly entered her inch by inch.

  I took a few seconds to enjoy the sight of her beneath me, our bodies joined as one. I had no idea that love could be this fucking good. I was completely lost in Kate, and that thought used to scare me beyond belief. Now it consumed me and ached in the best fucking way.

  I began moving above her, rocking my hips in a slow motion, and pulling completely out before entering her again. She bit her lower lip, moaning with each entrance. I loved watching her face; she was absolutely fucking beautiful. An aroused Kate was mind blowing. I felt her slick walls tightening around me as I continued to thrust into her with ease.

  “I’m so close… don’t stop. Feels so good,” she whispered between pants, her hips rocking against mine.

  I was getting close myself, and I knew it was just a matter of time for both of us. “Come with me, Kate. I’m so close, baby, but I need to feel you come.” I rotated my hips and began thrusting a little faster, hitting her sweet spot over and over. She got tighter and tighter before she threw her head back screaming my name. Slamming in to her once more, I smashed my lips to hers to control our screams as I joined her, releasing myself deep inside her sweetness.

  We both lay there until our breathing slowed and we were able to speak.

  “Do you think we woke anyone up?” she whispered.

  The thought made me smile. “I’m sure you may have. Now I’ll be the sexy cop who makes my girl come hard.” She smacked my shoulder. “What?”

  “You are awful.”

  I brushed her hair from her face and looked her in the eyes. “I’m pretty sure I was just anything but awful.” She shook her head and rolled over, laughing into her pillow. “What’s so funny?”

  She lifted her face. “I can’t believe we just had loud sex with a room full of women right down the hall.”

  “Loud sex?”

  “Yes, we were both moaning so loud, and I screamed your name at least three times. There is no way they didn’t hear that.”

  I kissed her before pulling her to my chest and snuggled in behind her. “Go to sleep, you horny little vixen.” Kate laughed, and it was a sweet sound – a sound I could never get tired of.

  Chapter Twenty Seven

  Kate

  “It’s been over a month, Riley. It’s almost holiday break, and he still hasn’t asked me. He moved it too. It isn’t under the dresser anymore. I looked, and it’s gone.” I flopped down into the chair next to hers. We decided to meet at the café for a coffee before class.

  “There have been so many chances for him to ask, but he still hasn’t. What if he changed his mind? What the hell is he waiting for?”

  Riley smiled. Yes, she smiled at me like my breakdown was nothing. “How do you know he isn’t just waiting for a special time? Something memorable that will be romantic and sweet.” She reached across the table and took my hand. “Kate, this will be your first Thanksgiving and Christmas together as a family with Carley. How do you know he doesn’t plan on asking on Christmas? Don’t freak out. It will happen, so be patient.”

  “That’s easy for you to say Miss I’m Engaged Already.” I was bitter, dammit. I was tired of waiting for Cars
on to propose. He had the damn ring. What was the holdup? “Fine, but if the man doesn’t ask me by Christmas I am going to beat him.”

  “He may like that.” Riley wiggled her eyebrows.

  “Oh hell, you’re as bad as your brothers. Perverted freak.” I rolled my eyes at her before we both broke out in laughter.

  The holidays were approaching fast, and I knew my parents no longer being together would change things drastically. Going to their house was never my favorite thing to do, but it still seemed weird that we would not be sharing that normal tradition. Instead, Carson and I decided to invite my dad to our house for Christmas morning, and I would suffer through an afternoon at my mother’s with Kara.

  Thanksgiving, of course, would be at the Parks’ house, and I couldn’t wait. The times with Carson’s family were always the greatest. Being surrounded by them gave me a sense of what a real family was like. Yes, they were loud and obnoxious. But they loved one another, and no matter what the situation may be they had one another’s back. Even when they disagreed with how they handled something, they still stood by each other. They were my family too, and every moment with them always seemed to warm my heart.

  Carson had been working a lot of nights, and I hated not having him home with us. I went to school during the day while he was home with Carley. By the time my classes were out, I had to pick her up at the sitter’s because Carson was on shift. When he got home in the evening, I’d already be in bed sleeping, and he would curl in behind me, falling to sleep fast, so we could wake up to start all over again.

  We seemed to have fallen into a pattern. I was slightly uneasy about the way things felt, and I tried not to let my mind go into overdrive. I found myself wondering if he was bored with me. Had we reached the point where things were no longer exciting and new?