Broken by Love

by C. A. Harms

  Riley stepped back, and Carson took me in his arms. Rayann and Riley went back inside, leaving us alone.

  “Did you see your dad?” I nodded in the crook of his neck. “Does he know?” Once again I nodded as the tears fell, remembering my dad’s evident heartbreak.

  “He went to the hospital with Kara to give blood. They’ll call within a week.” He knelt down and lifted me into his arms. He carried me into the house and placed me on the couch, taking a seat next to me. Kelly walked toward me carrying Carley and placed her in my arms. The moment her sweet little eyes looked up at me, I lost it once more and held her close, crying into her. Carson’s arms wrapped around us both and held us securely.

  I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but when I looked up I realized everyone else had left the room.

  Chapter Thirty Two

  Carson

  One of the hardest things I had ever had to do was watch Kate go through this. It had only been three days since she went to the hospital, and I watched her each day fall just a little more. She was sad and withdrawn. She was angry and broken. I couldn’t fix this. There was absolutely nothing I could do to take away her pain.

  Every night she sat with the phone, crying with her father and then Kara. No one had talked to her mother. Apparently the bitch skipped town. She knew she fucked up and was trying to dodge the bullet. She left her girls to deal with her mistakes, and that shit did not sit well with me. She better stay clear, because I had no intentions of biting my tongue when I finally was face to face with her.

  I went back on shift today, and leaving Kate alone was the last thing I wanted. I grabbed my badge and gun from the dresser and hooked them both on my holster. I walked toward the living room and found Kate on the couch. Her eyes were swollen and her expression blank, saddened. Carley was sleeping in her swing.

  I took a seat next to Kate and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Hey, baby, I gotta go. Do you want me to call Ry, or maybe Lily? They can come over for a while to give you some company.”

  “I don’t need a damn babysitter, Carson. I’m fine by myself.” She didn’t even look at me. She continued to stare ahead at the television.

  “I know you don’t need a sitter, I just thought…”

  “I said I’m fine,” she snapped.

  The tone was frigid. This wasn’t my Kate. I tried not to take it personally, but it was fucking hard. I wanted to take away the pain and fix this. It hurt so damn much not being able to.

  “I’m gonna go. If you need me, please call.” I leaned over and kissed her forehead. She said nothing as I stood and walked toward the swing. I kissed Carley and left without looking back.

  My throat was tight and my chest ached as I dialed my mom’s number. She answered on the second ring. I spent the next ten minutes filling her in on Kate and her current mood. I hung up feeling slightly better because she agreed to make a surprise visit. She had things to drop off that she had picked up for Carley, so it was the perfect excuse.

  I spent my entire shift full of worry. Once it was over, I got home as quickly as possible. The house was dark as I slid my key into the lock. I was startled when I found Kate sitting on the couch in the dim room.

  “I didn’t see you there.” I took a seat next to her, placing my arm over the back of the couch. “Do you want to talk?”

  I heard her deep, shuddering breath. “I’m so sorry. I can’t believe how I treated you earlier.” I started to interrupt her, but she stopped me. “I’m falling apart, and I can’t control these emotions. I just feel like everything is different now.”

  Placing my hand on her cheek, I forced her eyes to meet mine. “I know things have changed, and you feel lost, but we don’t even know the results yet.” I rested my forehead against hers as the tears fell from her eyes. “I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling. I only know this is killing me, and my heart is breaking. I don’t want to see you like this.” I wiped the tears away with my thumbs. “When you hurt, babe, I fucking hurt.”

  She crawled onto my lap, placing one leg on each side of me. I pulled her close as she broke down. “I just want to know. I hate this waiting game.”

  “I know, baby.”

  I held her while her tears slowed. Before long I felt her body relax until her breaths became slow and settled.

  I waited until I knew she was completely asleep before I picked her up and carried her to bed.

  After I showered and checked in on Carley, I crawled in bed and pulled Kate close. I drifted off hoping tomorrow was a better day.

  Chapter Thirty Three

  Kate

  I woke up to someone jumping on top of me. I groaned as the bed continued to bounce.

  “Holy hell, what is wrong with you?” I pulled the covers back. “You are such a freak, Riley. Are you drunk?” She continued to bounce around like a two year old, laughing.

  “Wake up, hooker, come on.”

  “Why?”

  She straddled me over the blanket and pinned my flailing arms next to my head. She smiled, and dammit, I couldn’t help it, I smiled back. “I’m kidnapping you.” She giggled and grabbed my face. “Wedding dress. You, me, and a store full of options. There is no one I would rather have help me choose than you.”

  My eyes filled with tears and my lip trembled. I could only nod.

  “I love you¸ Katelynn. You are my best friend, my sister, and I need you. I need you to smile, beautiful girl. I can’t allow you to cry and hide away.” A single tear fell from her eyes. “No matter what those test results show, you are still the most beautiful, caring person I know. If they show your dad is not your dad, that won’t change you. It won’t change who you are. You can’t let your mom win.”

  I took a deep, ragged breath. “Can you let me up now, bitch? I really need to pee.” We smiled at one another before she slid off and allowed me to get up. She swatted my ass before running from the room. She called back over her shoulder, “Don’t forget to brush your teeth. You smell like ass.”

  This was us. Riley and I had our own way of dealing with heavy topics. It was our job as best friends to say the things to each other we may not want to hear, but needed to. Sarcasm and teasing, bitchy comments got us through some of our darkest times.

  ***

  We had been through racks and racks of dresses. We had laughed and cried. For the last two hours, I had let go. I never thought about pending test results or my mother. I didn’t allow myself to worry over how my life might change. Instead I watched Riley, and each time she entered the room wearing a new dress my heart swelled.

  “I look like a human cotton ball.” She was bobbing up and down and side to side. The dress was extremely fluffy, and I could not hold back the laughter. “Do you see it?” She spun around and shook her hips, making the dress bounce. “Human cotton ball.” I was laughing so hard the tears were flowing down my cheeks.

  “Oh my god, you’re right. I need a picture of this.” I rummaged through my bag looking for my phone as we continued to laugh. I noticed the light on my phone blinking, and I swiped my finger to wake it. The notification on the top showed I had a new email. My heart sank. I had requested I be sent the results of the test, and now I was regretting that. I wasn’t sure I could open the email.

  Riley must have noticed my change in mood. She rushed over and knelt in front of me. “Kate?” I stared at her in silence while squeezing my phone.

  “I can’t open it.” I handed her my phone. “You do it. Please.”

  After a moment of hesitation, she took my phone. I closed my eyes tightly and waited. It felt like a lifetime had passed before I felt Riley place her hand on my knee.

  Her eyes were full of unshed tears. She took a deep breath before speaking.

  “It’s gonna be okay. Everything is gonna be okay.” She turned the phone around so I could see the email, and my heart raced. My hand went to my mouth as I sobbed uncontrollably with relief.

  99.9%. I looked back to Riley and cried. My ugly sobs made it diff
icult to form words. “He’s my dad.” I shook as I continued to cry with such relief. Then all at once it hit me. I grabbed for my phone and dialed Kara’s number. If I got my results, that meant she did too.

  After four rings it went to her voicemail. I hung up and tried again. When her voicemail picked up, I felt a sense of panic. “Kara, please call me. I got the result, and I need to see you. Please call me.”

  Just as I hung up, my phone rang. Watching my screen light up with the word ‘Dad’ made my heart swell. “Hello.” My eyes burned once again with tears. His softs cries shattered me.

  “We need you, Katelyn. Kara’s news isn’t as good as yours.” My heart ached as I heard my sister’s sobs in the background. No. This wasn’t fair. My sister and I have not always seen eye to eye, but she was my sister and I loved her. What my mother had done to us was so wrong. We spent all these years living a lie.

  “I’ll be right there.”

  I didn’t have to fill Riley in; she just knew.

  “I’ll drop you off.”

  “Thank you.”

  Chapter Thirty Four

  Carson

  To say the last few weeks had been rough would be an understatement. Kate had been spending a lot of time at her dad’s with Kara. The news that Kurt wasn’t her father was devastating, and she was a mess. Last weekend Kate found her in the bathroom holding a bottle of sleeping pills. At that moment they knew she needed help. Kara was no longer the same conniving girl she once was. She was broken and lost.

  The man who was in fact her father was keeping his distance. He had chosen to work for another firm, which was probably for the best. He does want to know Kara, though, considering he never knew he fathered a child. He hadn’t seen Kate’s mother in years. Apparently they had met before Kate was born, and had a few nights together, only to lose contact for a couple years. Once again they met up at a conference she had attended and had an on-again, off-again affair. After that, he lost touch with her. I honestly think she knew all along he may have fathered Kara. I think that was why she had always pushed so hard for Kara to be number one.

  Christmas was less than a week away. Life was in no way normal. So many nights I slept without Kate next to me. There were times Carley was with Kate, and other times she would leave her with me, depending on my schedule. I knew things were stressful, but not having her there was hard.

  Christmas Eve, I woke up with a feeling of someone watching me. Turning to my side, I came face to face with Kate. She looked tired and stressed. She sat with her legs crossed as she twisted her hands together in her lap. I reached out and took her hand.

  Her eyes met mine, and she forced a smile.

  “Talk to me, beautiful. Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.” I waited as she played it all out in her mind. She had a habit of running rehearsals before she gave in and talked about what she needed to.

  Just above a whisper, she spoke. “Did you change your mind?” She wouldn’t look at me. “I mean, if you did, I can understand why. My family is crazy, and I’m sure by now you’re wondering what they hell you got yourself into.”

  I sat up and wrapped my legs around her, placing my hands on her knees. “Change my mind about what?” There was a long stretch of silence, too long. “Kate?”

  “Marrying me. I found the box.” Her eyes were glossy, and I could tell she was fighting against the urge to cry. “The night of the cookout. It was an accident. I never opened the box, but I found it.” I waited for her to continue. I knew she had more to say. We had barely spoken over the last few weeks. I needed to hear what she was feeling, all of it. “I just figured you changed your mind. Everything has been so screwed up, and I haven’t been who you’ve needed me to be. I’m just wondering if maybe you realized I’m not the person you want after all.”

  Fuck, my heart ached. I nudged her backward and brought myself to hover over her. I reached over her head and into the small drawer on the headboard of our bed. I reached to the back corner and moved the magazine aside, pulling out the ring box.

  Letting my body rest gently over hers, I held up the box. “When I saw this ring, I knew it belonged on your finger. I have never been surer about anything in my life, Katelynn. I am so tangled up in you, baby. You are the only person I want to spend the rest of my days with. Things have been crazy, but that has not made me even consider changing my mind. You are so damn strong, and if anything, this whole experience has only made me love you more. I have been waiting for the right moment, but we never seem to have one. There has always been something that has interrupted our time.”

  I leaned forward, kissing her softly. “There are no words to describe what you do to me. You consume me fully. I live and breathe you.” I kissed her once more. “Nothing could ever make me change my mind, Kate. I adore you, I love you, and the only thing I want is for you to become my wife. I want to have more babies and grow old together. Never question the way I feel for you, please. I was waiting for the right time, and I’m sorry.”

  I stood from the bed and pulled her up to meet me, kissing her again before I knelt and took her hand. She smiled down at me, and I could only smile back. This was our life. Never a dull moment with us. Kate and I had always been the couple who fought more than we didn’t. We tormented the hell out of one another and drove each other insane. At the end of the day, though, when it was just us, we knew who we were. We knew we belonged, despite what others may have thought. She was my forever, and I had no doubt we would spend the rest of our lives torturing one another and having amazing make-up sex. But bickering with Kate was something I wouldn’t change. She was feisty and determined. She was my better half, and now it was time to make it official.

  “Katelynn, will you marry me? Will you spend your life sharing your smile with me? Spend your days laughing by my side and your nights wrapped securely in my arms? I want nothing more than to share the rest of my life with you. Please say yes.”

  “There was never a chance I would say no.” She bent down and brought her lips to mine. “Yes… I’ll marry you.”

  I spun her around and led her to the bed. “We have about thirty minutes before our daughter needs us. I need to make love to my fiancée. Is that okay?”

  “That is so much more than okay,” she whispered.

  Chapter Thirty Five

  Kate

  We spent Christmas split between Carson’s family and my dad’s. Kara was slowly beginning to accept the news. My father continued to assure her that no matter what the papers showed, he is and always would be her father. He had no intentions of writing her off. Over time, I thought she may want to meet her real father, but right now she just needed to stay close to us. She was worried we would no longer accept her as part of us, and that was never going to happen. Over the last month Kara and I had grown closer. Things had shifted. Our lives had changed forever, and we found comfort in one another through it. The sister relationship we had always been robbed of had now developed, and I had every intention of holding onto it.

  Riley and Zander had finally announced they settled on a date. Riley gave in and let Zander have Valentine’s Day. I laughed when she rolled her eyes as he told everyone. She was standing strong on the color theme though. I still remembered her speech.

  “There will be no cherubs or hearts. No pink or red, and nothing representing Valentine’s Day. I gave in to the idea of the romantic notion of the holiday, but I refuse to blend it with the theme. Our colors are silver and blue. Our flowers will be lilies, and for no reason at all should there be a rose present.” I stifled the giggles that bubbled through me. She was rebelling, and I loved the pure love and admiration that poured from Zander as he listened to her requests. Once she was done, everyone broke out in laughter. She did everything possible to contain her laughter, but it was useless.

  Max had been quiet, which was unlike him. Everyone still continued to watch him closely, waiting for him to erupt. He had become withdrawn and chose to spend most of his time alone. Tanner rarely saw him,
and they shared the same apartment.

  The shocker of Christmas was when Kelly and Mason handed out their gifts to everyone. They attached a card to each package with our names written on top. Because I was like a tiny kid trapped in a woman’s body, I was one of the first to have the gift in hand. Most everyone else went for the package, and I chose to contain my excitement the best I could. I opened the card. At first I looked right past the obvious announcement and flipped it open, reading the phrase on the inside. When I closed the card to once again look at the family photo, it jumped out at me. “Oh… really?” My eyes met Kelly’s, and she giggled. Everyone else looked at me like I was insane. Mason hugged Kelly to his side and chuckled. I look back down at the front of the card, tracing my finger over Mariah’s shirt in the photo. The words ‘Big Sister’ were displayed in bold red. Gasps and cries came from around me as everyone else in the room began to understand what I had already discovered.

  Another Parks baby was on the way.

  ***

  New Year’s came quickly. Carson had to work, so I invited Lily to spend the night. It had been a little too long since she and I had some time together. I missed her. We planned to make a night of it.

  Kara also accepted my invitation when I kept pushing and resorted to a little bit of begging. I was not too proud to admit I wanted to spend more time with the sister I had missed out on.

  So there we sat with our mixed drinks and stack of movies. Carley was in bed, and I knew I couldn’t get smashed. One little drink wouldn’t hurt though. Lily and Kara were a different story, and the things spilling from their mouths were entertaining.

  “No, no, wait. Did it hurt? You know, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because, baby, you are an angel.” Kara broke out it a drunken fit of laughter followed by a loud snort. That only brought more laughter as Lily held her stomach, hunching over. “Wait, I got another one.” Kara cleared her throat and put on her best guy voice impression. “You look really hot tonight. I know something that would look even better on you than that dress… me.”