“I’m so sorry.” She choked the words out through tears, crumpling inwardly so that she almost doubled over.
“It’s ok.” I pressed myself up ignoring the pain and put my lips atop her forehead. “It’s not your fault.” I murmured into the warmth of her skin, her ebony hair was tied up into a bun but the scent of her shampoo still spread out around me.
“I left you! I just left!” She sniffed and rubbed at her nose. “Oh my God listen to me! You’re in a hospital bed and I’m whining.” We both smiled.
“What else could you do? It’s not the easiest thing to be faced with after only just….” I paused unsure what to call the last few weeks between us.
“Come on.” She straightened up and briskly wiped at her face. “Let’s get you out of here.”
“Yes please.” I nodded and pulled the sheets from around my legs.
“Oh, you’re still attached.” Lana reached for my arm stopping me just before I pulled out the drip.
“Shit. Hold on.” I carefully peeled away the cotton pad smiling as Lana winced and averted her eyes, I slid the drip from under my skin.
“I don’t know how you can do things like that.” She shook her head.
“You get used to it.” I told her. I dropped my feet to the floor and reached behind my neck to pull at the ribbon of the gown, it fell to the floor with a gentle whoosh.
“Jesus Rebecca.” Lana gasped.
“It’s not that bad.” I laughed lightly as she stepped around the bed to stand in front of me her eyes tear filled and scanning every inch of my body.
“How are you even alive?” Her lips quivered as she spoke.
“It’s honestly not as bad as it looks, it’s mostly bruising.” I reached out for her and pulled myself into a standing position pressing my body against hers. Lana hesitated then gently pressed her hands against my naked back, running one carefully up my spine into my hair to hold the base of my head.
“Nothing is going to hurt you again.” She whispered.
“That’s delightfully sweet, but impossible to guess at and frankly unrealistic even for you Lana.” A voice made me jump but Lana held me firmly against her stopping me from turning around.
“Get out.” She hissed. I turned my head to see Miranda standing just inside the curtain.
“I need to talk to Mrs Taylor.” She smiled tightly.
“It’s Ok.” I told Lana easing myself away and reaching for the hospital issue bag that held a plain white t shirt and green nurse’s pants, what I had come in with was in tatters. I pulled the clothes on and folded my arms across my chest conscious of the thin material and lack of underwear. Lana must have read my mind because she shrugged off her black woollen coat and held it out for me to put on.
“Go on then.” I said resting against the bed frame.
“I’m sorry but this is a matter of privacy, so I need to speak to you alone.” Miranda darted her eyes towards Lana who was nervously shuffling.
“My office if you would be so kind Mrs Taylor.” Miranda turned to leave. “You can wheel her up there can’t you Dr Hill? I believe you know where it is.”
“Have I mentioned that I despise that woman?” I huffed and watched through the slim gap in the curtains as she trotted away.
“If you turn right here.” I pointed my arm out of the wheelchair but Lana had already turned.
“She wasn’t lying when she said I know where it is.” Lana said coldly from behind me. We stopped outside a pine door set into the whitewashed wall.
“Do I want to know why you know it so well?” I turned my head as far as I could trying to gauge her reaction.
“No you don’t. I’ll wait here.” Lana sat down on one of the seats opposite as I stepped out of the wheelchair with a groan and pushed the handle of the door not waiting to be invited inside. Miranda looked up from behind her desk, she had taken off the grey suit jacket and I noticed how the shirt she was wearing gaped at the buttons as the material strained across her chest.
“Shut the door.” She smiled and crossed her hands atop the table. I smiled weakly at Lana and pushed it shut. “Sit down Mrs Taylor.” I took the seat opposite.
“I’m divorced so it’s not Mrs Taylor anymore.” I said firmly.
“So what shall I call you?” Miranda placed the small square glasses onto the bridge of her nose.
“Rebecca is fine.” I looked around the room, noting the framed certificates on the walls and the small chaise lounge that faced the solitary long window.
“It’s not much but it’s a small piece of serenity when you’ve been here as long as I have.” Miranda smiled. “Lana used to come here all the time to surprise me.” She gave a light laugh and turned her head to stare at the chair pointedly. “I can see her there now as though it was minutes ago, you never forget a sight like that though do you Rebecca?”
“What do you want?” I asked feeling my face redden with anger. “I will be back to work as soon as I’m allowed.”
“This isn’t about work.” Her face had become stony. “I’m guessing Lana hasn’t told you has she?” I frowned but remained silent. “I’ll take that as a no and since she hasn’t been to the police I’m also hazarding a guess that she has no intention of telling you either.”
“You’ve lost me.” I sighed wincing as my ribs crackled with the expansion.
“Lana knows the Hewitt family, quite intimately.” She stated bluntly. “In fact her brother is Ben, well he’s her half-brother, different mum.” The room seemed to lurch around me. “He admitted to her that he had attacked and raped you and I’m afraid in her anger she revealed to him that you were pregnant and as such were holding the only piece of evidence that would see him placed in jail for a very long time.”
“My baby.” I muttered.
“Yes and believe me when I say this, I am truly sorry for your loss.” Miranda leaned back in her seat and her eyes flickered to a photo frame on the desk facing her. “I have kids now but I wasn’t always so lucky, I know how it feels to lose a baby.” I stared at her blankly, if Lana knew what Ben had done why hadn’t she reported it? Why hadn’t she told me?
“How long ago did she find out?” I mumbled.
“I think she has known all along, in fact I even wondered if that’s why she ‘befriended’ you.” She made quotation marks in the air. “I thought perhaps she wanted to keep you close to make sure that you didn’t try to continue searching for some justice, I mean her father is into all kinds of illegal dealings who knows what you may have disturbed accidentally if you carried on looking.” Miranda shook her head. “I told her to tell you, especially after that text message you sent saying you loved her, I said then she needed to tell you so that you knew what you were dealing with.” My heart beat slowed and drummed against my chest.
“She told you about that?” I swallowed hard.
“She was at our apartment when it came through, I saw it by accident more than anything.” Miranda said apologetically. “Anyway I warned her what type of man her father is, I told her not to mention the fact that you were pregnant but it was too late.”
“Was it him? Was it him that hit me?” I could feel my breathing speeding up.
“Yes. I mean we can’t prove it, he’s very good at covering up and by now there will be nothing to link him to it. I don’t understand why Lana didn’t go to the police that night, they might have been able to find the car or something if they had got there quick enough. I guess blood is thicker than water.” She looked at me with an expression of forced sadness.
“But why would she ask me to go and stay there?” I was frowning again.
“Well I would guess that if you are with her then she can control what you say.” Miranda frowned herself as though deep in thought. “I warned you Rebecca, Lana is not what she seems. You really needed to stay away from her, she obviously doesn’t care about you otherwise she would of given evidence to get Ben arrested, his dad, well her dad, would have been found guilty of Christ knows how many cover ups and,
well, you would still have your baby.” Miranda finished and reached down to open a drawer in the desk, she pulled out an envelope that was thick with money and pushed it towards me.
“That’s just something I feel you deserve.” She smiled. “Take it and go away somewhere, somewhere hot, rest up.” I stared at her in disbelief, she stood straightening the hem of the undersized shirt and pushed the envelope into a fold of my bag. I rose to my feet.
“How do I know any of this is even true?” I stuttered as she ushered me towards the door.
“Ask her.” The handle clicked down and the door swung inwards. Lana’s smile fell from her face as she looked at me.
“Is it true?” My voice sounded as though it was about to break. “Is he your brother?”
“Rebecca I wanted to tell you.” She moved towards me.
“DON’T!” I screamed.
“Why the fuck have you done this?” Lana gripped Miranda by the front of her shirt pressing her against the wall.
“She had a right to know.” Miranda shouted back. I moved past them ignoring the pain that rocketed up my spine in my haste.
“Rebecca!” Lana was beside me tears spilling down her face.
“Why didn’t you go to the police?” I asked numbly.
“It all happened so fast I didn’t get the chance.” Lana was stuttering reaching for my hands.
“Bullshit!” I pressed the arrow on the lift and stepped inside as the doors barely opened. “Don’t follow me, seriously, I can’t even look at you.” I spat through the closing gap, the metal slid shut and the lift began to move.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The lights from the DJ booth span across the room, flickering pinks and blues over the sea of bodies. I sat on a tall stool, elbows propped against the sticky wood of the bar. I had been coming here every night for over two weeks, Lana had started to come by the apartment after work so it was easier to just not be there and not have to listen to her pleas.
“Can I get you another honey?” A woman stumbled against me, her hair cropped short on one side, long the other tossed over her ear she smiled sleepily.
“I’m ok thanks.” I smiled back and wrapped my hands around the glass of whiskey and coke.
“I haven’t seen you in here before.” She continued pressing closer into the gap to lean her back against the bar.
“No I haven’t been coming here long. I used to be married.” I added.
“Ah ok.” She stood up a little and looked at me. “To a guy I’m guessing?” I nodded. “You look like you need to kick back a bit.”
“Yeah, that obvious hey?” I laughed and downed my drink, she held out her hand, each finger adorned with different rings.
“Come with me.” She grinned, I smiled nervously.
“Where to?” I asked cocking an eyebrow.
“Only the bathroom, I promise it’s just over there.” She pointed across the room to where a neon sign was flashing. We looked at each other for a moment, her smile widening. “What have you got to lose?” She cooed.
“Ok.” I took her hand and hopped down onto the floor. She moved through people carefully guiding me, her hand tucked behind her back I stayed close as we wound through the crowd. A cool breeze was trickling in from an open door, people crowded just outside it blowing smoke up into the night.
“Here we go.” She pushed open a heavy door and stepped into a white tiled bathroom with five or six stalls, a girl was rearranging her make up in the mirror she smiled at us briefly before tucking away the lipstick and heading out. The music blared inwards as the door swung open, fading out as it shut, under the strip lights the woman whose hand I still held looked older, dark thick make up coated around her eyes clinging to the lines.
“Come on.” She tugged at my hand leading me into one of the stalls.
“I’m not sure.” I told her hesitating a little.
“It’s not what you think, I promise.” She grinned and motioned with her head pulling me under her arm and clicking the lock across the door behind us. “Here.” She pulled a small white bag out of the pocket of her jeans and held it up to the light.
“Is that cocaine?” I gawped at her.
“No it’s sugar.” She laughed pressing past me to push the toilet lid down to kneel on, she tapped the bottom of the bag depositing the contents onto the tiles behind the cistern.
“I can’t do drugs, I’m a nurse!” I whispered.
“Well it doesn’t look like you’re in uniform right now.” She grinned and rolled up a five pound note, lowering her head and sniffing in hard. “Is life so good that you can turn down free drugs?” She coughed a little and leant back against the partition wall wiping her nose. The words rolled around my brain, the events of the last few weeks flashing through my mind with one resounding picture lodged into the front of my brain, Lana.
“Yeah, why not.” My heart was drumming up into my ears.
“Have you done any before?” She asked pushing the powder into lines.
“No.” I moved closer watching as she halved the line she had been making and nodded her head.
“Ok well you’re not going to want more than this to start with.” She stepped back and handed me the note pressing her hands around my waist. “Just run it above and breathe in really deep as you do.” I did as instructed and felt the powder rush upwards, the strong taste of chemicals burning the back of my throat.
“Feels good.” She twisted me around, my eyes were watering I dabbed at them trying to avoid smudging what little make up I still had on. “I’m Gem by the way.” She held her hand out with a laugh for me to shake.
“Rebecca.” I smiled back.
“Well Rebecca, do you want to go and dance?” She kept hold of my hand swinging it lightly.
I watched her feeling my pulse quicken, her blue eyes narrowed and she bit her bottom lip, her grip tightened on my hand raising it upwards to rest against her shoulder, she turned her head and kissed my palm gently.
“I’m not sure I want to leave this room.” I told her.
“This isn’t a room, it’s a toilet cubicle.” Gem laughed. A wave of adrenaline surged through every vein of my body, I leant forward and kissed her hard, wrapping my hands around her head and tangling my fingers into her hair. Her breath hitched in her throat and a moan escaped from between her lips as she kissed me back. “I own a bar just down the road.” She murmured pulling back. “It’s much better than this, we can carry on our conversation more comfortably there.”
“Let’s go.” I smiled.
We followed red carpeted steps down to a set of blacked out doors, above them a sign glowed in white reading ‘The Diamond Lounge’. I skipped down the last few stairs and followed Gem inside down a narrow corridor where music was pumping through the walls, every few feet hung a huge glass fronted picture of a different girl, illuminated in white light posing seductively.
“Is this a strip club?” I asked as we moved further along.
“It’s a performance space.” Gem shouted over her shoulder as we passed through another set of doors, the music grew louder. I looked around the room we had entered, it was round with a low circular ceiling, the walls were painted red and black adorned with old fashioned nineteen twenties style lamps. Circular tables curved outwards in arching lines hugging the edges of two glossy black platforms that were lifted six feet into the air and joined by a clear plastic walkway, atop these platforms two women were dancing, sliding back and forth a small pair of diamond encrusted briefs their only item of clothing. “This way.” Gem signalled to a door set back into the wall, a gold sign across the wood read ‘private’. She unlocked it and held it open for me to step inside. “My office.” Gem flicked on the light to show a small room with two leather reclining chairs, a desk and a tall floor lamp.
“You own this place?” I asked as I took a seat.
“Yes.” She reached for two glasses and poured out a measure of whiskey into each. “You look like you’ve had a rough time.” Gem handed me the glass and
sipped from her own.
“I got hit by a car, but I got the all clear.” I told her, she nodded but stayed quiet. “I want to do something to feel alive.” I looked at the pictures on the walls, the women posed in different ways.
“They look so beautiful.” I pointed upwards.
“You are ten times prettier than any of them.” Gem scoffed as she got up and sat in the opposite chair.
“Yeah right!” I laughed.
“Seriously, I’d give you a job.” She said evenly.
“What if I took my clothes off and looked horrendous.” I teased.
“I don’t think that is a possibility somehow.” She smiled at me. “But I’m willing to take a look for you.”
“I bet you are.” I laughed tilting my head back.
“Give it a go.” She was actually serious.
“I look like a giant bruise right now.” I waved a hand up and down my body.
“Well stay a while, when you feel up to it give it a go.” Gem said. “I’ll provide the place to stay and everything you could need or want.” She pulled out the small half empty bag and waved it in the air. “You said you want to feel alive, out there, on that stage, you can be anything or anybody that you want to be.” I eyed her carefully before nodding. She place her hands around my face and leant in to kiss me hovering over my lips. “What do you think?” she grinned.
“Let’s see how tonight goes first!” I told her pushing myself forwards to meet her mouth, I closed my eyes tightly and tried to block out Lana’s smile that was flashing through my mind, Gem’s lips felt different, harder less full.
“Are you ok?” She pulled away.
“Yeah I’m fine.” I lied pulling her back in before she had a chance to see the tears welling in my eyes.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I pressed down the button on my phone, powering it on for the first time in weeks. The screen flashed to life.
Unexpected Page 11
