Pride of Walworth

by Mary Jane Staples

  ‘Now ’ow can I if she won’t let me?’

  ‘Well, make her let you.’ Nick put the sucked lemon slice into his mouth, ground it up and swallowed it. Its sharpness gave his brains a lift, which distracted him from Annabelle. ‘Get her in her parlour and do what you can to pull her jumper off.’

  ‘’Ere, turn it up,’ said Danny. ‘She won’t like that, and nor will ’er dad. ’E’ll boot me out.’

  ‘Wake up,’ said Nick. ‘Tell him first, and at the right moment make the kind of noise that’ll bring him running into the parlour.’

  ‘’Ere, ’old on, Nick, that ain’t first thing decent,’ said Danny, turning quite dusky. Cassie, Freddy and Annabelle were joined by Dumpling and Fanny, and the dialogue grew more animated, and Annabelle hadn’t taken even a single glance at Nick. Nick, of course, didn’t know whether to be relieved or miffed. ‘Now listen,’ said Danny, ‘I ain’t goin’ to get anywhere near Dumpling’s ’ighly personal female wear, let alone pull it off.’

  ‘Would you like me to have a private word with her dad on your behalf? I think—’

  The ref’s whistle interrupted Nick.

  ‘Come on, blokes, back on the field,’ called Dumpling, who had the makings of a captain able to chuck a lot of weight about.

  ‘Goodbye, Cassie,’ said Annabelle. ‘’Bye, Freddy, happy New Year to your team.’ She smiled, waved and left, and still without acknowledging Nick.

  ‘What was all that about?’ he asked Freddy, as they went back on to the field.

  ‘All what?’ said Freddy. ‘Oh, with Annabelle, d’you mean? Just a chat about Christmas and football.’

  ‘Fanny, come here,’ said Nick, and his saucy-eyed young sister skipped up to him, looking a slim tomboy in her football outfit. ‘Keep away from the Rangers’ goalmouth,’ said Nick, ‘I don’t want to have to tell Ma you got swallowed up and disappeared for ever. She’s fond of you. Stay out on the right wing, and if big Bonzo does get anywhere near you, fall over and yell for a foul.’

  ‘No, I want to score another goal,’ said Fanny.

  ‘Do as you’re told,’ growled Nick.

  ‘Some ’opes,’ said saucy Fanny.

  As it turned out, the second half was a genuinely friendly affair, even if the competitive instinct occasionally made itself felt. It was only Dumpling who put some fearsome heart and soul into all she did, so Bonzo plonked her on her bottom a couple of times and told her it was still Christmas. Dumpling took a bit of umbrage at that, and in the dying seconds, with the teams equal, she did her best to lay the Rangers’ goalie out by booting the ball straight at him from only six yards out. He punched it clear. Up it sailed and down it came. Up bounced Dumpling in an attempt to head it, and up leapt a group of Rangers with her, she in the middle of them. All heads missed the ball. Down came the mêlée of players, Dumpling still in the middle. She shrieked. The Rangers peeled away from her, and there she was, her football shorts down around her knees, and a pair of very fetching rose-pink drawers decorating her middle and giving some charming colour to the grey afternoon.

  ‘Oh, yer rotten ’ooligans, who done that, who pulled me shorts down?’ she yelled in outrage.

  Both teams had a good look and then fell about.

  ‘Oh, corblimey,’ gasped young Fanny, ‘I’ll ’ave an accident.’

  The ref blew for time. Dumpling pulled her shorts up.

  ‘Where’s me dad?’ she yelled.

  Her dad was fading into the distance, trying to reach the changing hut before he coughed himself to death on the field.

  ‘Cheer up, Dumpling,’ said Freddy, ‘you played a treat.’

  ‘Where’s Nick, where’s me captain?’ demanded Dumpling.

  ‘Right behind you,’ said Nick, and Dumpling swung round.

  ‘Did yer see what they done, Nick? Pulled me shorts down just to stop me scorin’ the winning goal.’

  ‘Honest accident,’ said beefy Bonzo.

  ‘I ’ope it was,’ said Danny, feeling for Dumpling’s embarrassment, but even more gone on her on account of the pretty colour of her personal and private whatsits.

  ‘I can tell you one thing, Dumpling,’ said Nick, ‘if it stopped you scoring the winning goal for us, it also stopped them scoring it for themselves. They all fell over.’

  ‘Honest?’ said Dumpling, and her beam arrived. ‘Oh, well, I don’t mind, then, I’d always do anything to stop me beloved Rovers gettin’ beaten.’

  ‘What a performance,’ grinned good-hearted Bonzo. ‘Christmas drawers on, eh?’

  ‘Course not,’ said Dumpling, ‘Christmas is nearly over.’

  Chapter Fifteen

  MA WENT POTTY the day after Boxing Day. The paper reported another jewel robbery. Nick handed her the smelling-salts and Alice fanned her. Ma said in a faint voice that she’d go early to her grave if common criminals didn’t stop being dishonest. Then there’s all the expense we’ve suffered from having to celebrate Christmas, she said. It’s lucky we’ve got them two fivers your Pa was good enough to give us.

  ‘But wouldn’t it be a bit dishonest to use them if they’re duds?’ said Alice.

  ‘Well, I wouldn’t except in an emergency,’ said Ma, ‘and I’d only spend about five shillings, say, just to show I’m in favour of honesty.’

  ‘You’d get four pounds, fifteen shillings change,’ said Nick.

  ‘My, so I would, and all good money,’ said Ma, and perked up a treat.

  A scorned woman struck.

  She arrived in company with Cassie and Freddy for the next committee meeting.

  Nick nearly fell down on opening the door to her and the others.

  ‘Is this the house, Cassie?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes, it’s where our captain and secretary lives,’ said Cassie. ‘That’s him, Nick Harrison.’

  ‘Good evening,’ said the scorned woman.

  ‘You met Freddy’s cousin Annabelle at that other match, Nick, didn’t you?’ said Cassie. ‘Well, she’s come to—’

  ‘Wait a minute,’ said Nick, ‘what’s going on? Take care how you answer that, Cassie, or you’ll be out before you’re in.’

  ‘Well, I don’t think that’s very nice,’ said Annabelle, done up to look like the answer to a starving bachelor’s prayer. ‘What a brute. He doesn’t bite as well, Cassie, does he?’

  ‘No, he’s just showin’ off a bit, like some fellers do,’ said Cassie. ‘Freddy’s the same. Nick, you’re not goin’ to keep us standin’ in the passage, are you?’

  ‘Freddy, would you like to say something?’ asked Nick, shot to pieces at actually having Annabelle in his house, where every wall secreted the echoes of family whispers. ‘What’s this all about?’

  ‘In short,’ said Freddy, ‘Annabelle’s taken a fancy to the Rovers and the supporters’ club.’

  ‘She’s what?’ said Nick.

  ‘She’s taken a fancy—’

  ‘I heard you,’ said Nick.

  ‘What a rude man,’ said Annabelle, ‘and so aggressive. Are you sure he’s captain and secretary and everything else, Cassie?’

  ‘Oh, it’s nothing serious,’ said Cassie, ‘he just likes to be in charge. My Uncle Patrick’s the same. He’s a police sergeant. Nick, can’t we go in your parlour?’

  ‘Let me get this straight,’ said Nick, who was trying to work out what had hit him. ‘Have you brought Annabelle along to the committee meeting for some reason or other? If so, what?’

  ‘To elect ’er to the supporters’ club,’ said Cassie.

  ‘What supporters’ club?’

  ‘Oh, Dumpling’s goin’ to propose it,’ said Cassie, ‘and me and Freddy’s goin’ to second it.’

  ‘Freddy, are you off your flaming rocker?’ asked Nick.

  ‘Genuine case of enthusiasm, Nick,’ said Freddy. The door knocker sounded, the latchcord was pulled, and in came Dumpling and Danny.

  ‘Oh, ’ello, Annabelle,’ said Dumpling, ‘glad you could come, but what’s everyone standin’ in the passage for?’

/>   ‘Your captain’s a bit fussed,’ said Annabelle.

  ‘What’s ’e fussed about?’ asked Dumpling.

  ‘I’m sure we don’t know,’ said Cassie.

  ‘I don’t think he’s in a very good temper,’ said Annabelle.

  ‘Who, Nick?’ said Dumpling.

  ‘Ain’t ’ad some aggravatin’ news, ’ave yer, Nick?’ said Danny.

  ‘Well, at the moment I’m aggravated up to my eyebrows,’ said Nick, ‘but all right, in you go. The parlour fire’s alight.’

  The parlour, in fact, was warm and welcoming, the fire radiating a glowing heat. Annabelle thought it a cheerful and tidy-looking room, an old piano in one corner. The Victorian terraced houses of Walworth weren’t unknown to her. She’d been to Freddy’s home more than once, and had heard so many family stories about the house in which Chinese Lady had brought up her sons and daughter that she could easily picture it in her mind. Annabelle was actually proud of how her grandma, her mum and her uncles had not only survived every kind of hardship, but had gone on to do wonders for themselves and their sons and daughters, including herself and Rosie.

  Nick put six chairs around the table in the middle of the room, and they all sat down. He glanced at Annabelle, who had placed herself between Cassie and Dumpling. She looked as cool as a cucumber. What was she up to?

  ‘I’ve done the minutes of the last meetin’, Nick,’ said Dumpling, ‘d’you want me to read them, as usual?’

  ‘Go ahead,’ said Nick, ‘then perhaps we can sort out who’s playing games.’

  ‘I thought all this was going to be pleasant and friendly,’ said Annabelle.

  ‘I don’t know very much about it myself,’ said Danny. ‘Dumpling only told me that—’

  ‘Shut up,’ said Nick. ‘Let Dumpling read the minutes before I go off bang.’

  Freddy grinned. Danny scratched his head. Cassie smiled, Annabelle kept her face very straight, and Dumpling read the minutes. When they were passed, Nick said perhaps someone would let him know what was going on.

  ‘Well, it’s like this, Nick,’ said Dumpling. The supporters, she said, were important to the Rovers, and they all thought they should form an official club, especially as Annabelle wanted to join.

  ‘Oh, she does, does she?’ said Nick, fighting on shifting ground.

  ‘Does he mind?’ asked Annabelle of Freddy.

  ‘No, of course he don’t,’ said Freddy, ‘the more the merrier.’

  ‘If I’m not wanted—’

  ‘Course you’re wanted,’ said Dumpling, ‘it’s compliment’ry to us.’

  ‘Your captain doesn’t look complimented,’ said Annabelle.

  You terror, thought Nick, you’re deliberately giving me a headache.

  ‘He’s not been ’imself lately,’ said Cassie. ‘Some of us think he’s in love, only ’e won’t say, will you, Nick?’

  ‘Just get on with it,’ growled Nick.

  Dumpling said she’d had a nice talk with Cassie and Annabelle at half-time on Boxing Day, after Cassie and Annabelle had already talked about the team and the supporters, and that it was Annabelle who’d said they ought to form an official supporters’ club, which she’d like to join herself, as she was keen on football and was very admiring of the Rovers.

  ‘Oh, she is, is she?’ said Nick.

  ‘Why does he keep saying things like that, Chrissie?’ asked Annabelle.

  Chrissie, is it? So she’s already bosom chums with Dumpling, thought Nick. What’s her game? If she knew she was in the house of a family whose old man was doing hard labour, she’d faint.

  ‘Oh, don’t take ’im serious, Annabelle,’ said Dumpling blithely, ‘Nick’s got nice ways when ’e ain’t lordin’ it a bit.’ Anyway, she said, she and Cassie thought what a smashing idea, an official supporters’ club, with all the supporters wearing knitted blue and white scarves, and having round metal clip-on brooches printed with the name of the Rovers.

  ‘Do what?’ said Danny.

  ‘Scarves and brooches?’ said Nick. ‘Who thought that lot up?’

  ‘Annabelle,’ said Cassie, who’d let Freddy’s brunette cousin know about the Boxing Day fixture and other things as well. ‘She’s got lots of ideas, and Dumpling’s goin’ to propose her as an official supporter and as a member of the committee.’

  ‘I’m going barmy,’ said Nick.

  ‘I ain’t far behind,’ said Danny.

  ‘I’m tryin’ to keep me nose in front,’ said Freddy. ‘If I don’t, I’ll be all behind like the cow’s tail for evermore. So I’d better ask, can we ’ave another member on the committee?’

  ‘No,’ said Nick, in a rare old panic at the thought of Annabelle entering his home week after week.

  ‘There, I thought I wasn’t wanted,’ said Annabelle to Cassie.

  ‘Oh, don’t mind Nick,’ said Cassie, ‘Chrissie’ll put him right, she knows about the rules.’

  Dumpling said yes, there was one rule that allowed the committee to elect another member if they needed one, which they did on account of Nick being the only member that had had a posh education and could use big words. The committee ought to have another member like him, one that could talk like he did and do some educated arguing with him, like Annabelle could.

  ‘Me meself, and Freddy and Danny, we get argued out of things by Nick,’ she said. ‘Well, ’e uses words sometimes that we’ve never ’eard of, and it sort of makes us speechless. I been speechless I don’t know ’ow many times.’

  ‘Pardon?’ said Freddy.

  ‘Dumpling, much as I admire yer,’ said Danny, ‘I can’t recollect you was ever short of sayin’ something. I said to yer dad once, I said one more admirin’ thing about you was ’ow you could speak up, even if you was gagged and bound like Pearl White used to be in them old film serials.’

  ‘I’m talking about not bein’ able to always understand Nick’s clerkin’ talk,’ said Dumpling.

  ‘You’re talking about getting another female on the committee,’ said Nick.

  ‘Well, did you hear that, Cassie?’ said Annabelle. ‘Did you hear him call me a female as if I was just anybody?’

  ‘It’s all right, he’s just a bit grumpy this evenin’,’ said Cassie.

  ‘He’s muttering too,’ said Annabelle.

  ‘I’m scratchin’ me head about all this,’ said Danny.

  Dumpling said everyone had got to remember there were four members of the committee, and only one was a girl, herself. It wasn’t asking much to have another girl, especially one that was educated as good as Nick. Anyway, she’d got some proposals to make. She proposed first that the supporters should form an official club.

  ‘I second that,’ said Cassie.

  ‘As usual, you’re out of order,’ said Nick.

  ‘All right, I’ll second it,’ said Danny. ‘Can’t do no ‘arm.’

  ‘I’m going to bed,’ said Nick, ‘to stuff my headache under the pillows.’

  ‘What about all in favour?’ asked Dumpling. Danny, Freddy, Cassie and herself raised their hands. ‘Yes, thanks ever so much, Cassie, but you ain’t actu’lly entitled to vote. Nick, you votin’ against?’

  ‘I’m incapable,’ said Nick.

  Dumpling said he’d soon be better, he wasn’t the most famous Walworth football captain for nothing. Anyway, she said, her proposal had been passed. She then proposed that Annabelle be elected to the supporters’ club, and Freddy seconded on the grounds that his brother-in-law, Sammy Adams, might have something to say to him if he shirked it, never mind what Cassie would do to him. Dumpling asked who was in favour, and she, Cassie, Freddy and Danny all showed their hands again.

  ‘What about you, Nick?’ asked Danny.

  ‘I’m paralysed,’ said Nick. ‘If I’m not, then I’m ruddy well dreaming. Supporters don’t have to get elected, you mugs. If they want to come and watch, they can, so stop carrying on like a lot of Alices in Wonderland.’

  ‘My, Mr Harrison does growl, doesn’t he?’ said Annabelle.


  ‘Annabelle, what’re you callin’ ’im Mr Harrison for?’ asked Dumpling.

  ‘Well, he sounds very important,’ said Annabelle.

  ‘Important?’ said Danny.

  ‘Yes, a bit like God,’ said Annabelle, and glanced at Nick for about the first time. One could have said thunder was writ large on his brow, and that she showed the glimmer of a demure smile.

  ‘I want a few words with you some time, young lady,’ he said.

  ‘The proposal’s passed, Nick,’ said Dumpling, ‘you don’t ’ave to ’ave any words with anyone.’

  ‘Now look here, Dumpling,’ said Nick, ‘if you don’t stop running this show, I’ll set Mr Johnson’s dog on you.’

  ‘’Ere, steady on, Nick, Johnson’s dog’ll make mincemeat of Dumpling,’ said Danny.

  ‘Well, corblimey good,’ said Nick, ‘we’ll all have shepherd’s pie for Sunday dinner.’

  ‘With dumplings?’ said Freddy.

  ‘Oh, I can’t believe me ears,’ said Dumpling, ‘I never ’eard Nick speak like that before.’

  ‘Like a cannibal?’ said Annabelle.

  ‘Is there any more rubbish to come?’ asked Nick.

  Dumpling said there was more to come, but it wasn’t rubbish, it was to propose the election of Annabelle to the committee. Danny seconded, and all hands went up again except Nick’s.

  ‘There,’ said Dumpling, ‘you’re in now, Annabelle, and we’re ever so pleased to ’ave yer as one of us.’

  ‘Yes, one of the blokes,’ said Cassie.

  ‘I’m thrilled,’ said Annabelle.

  ‘I’m under the doctor,’ said Nick.

  ‘There, he’s cheered up now,’ said Cassie, ‘he’s made a funny joke. D’you want to sort of speak a welcomin’ address, Nick?’

  ‘Not without having a fit,’ said Nick. He scowled at Danny and Freddy. ‘Talk about female cunning and dragoonery hitting you two chumps over your fat heads and rendering you as daft as backward parrots.’

  ‘Eh?’ said Danny.

  ‘What was that ’e said?’ asked Freddy.

  ‘Drag what?’ said Danny.

  ‘Dragoonery,’ said Annabelle. ‘It means being compelled by force.’

  ‘There y’ar,’ said Dumpling, ‘it’s one of Nick’s educated clerkin’ words. Ain’t it ’appy for us girls that Annabelle knows what it means and can argue the toss with ’im on our be’alf when he’s chuckin’ ’is weight about in committee? I’ll always fight to me dyin’ breath to stand up for Nick as the best football captain in Walworth, but I’ve got to admit he don’t ’alf lord it at committee meetings. Still, there’s never any ’ard feelings, ’e’s a sport most times, like I am meself.’