Meant To Be

by Karen Stivali

  Chapter Fifty-Three

  Marienne slept more soundly that night than she could recall sleeping in years, possibly ever. Sunlight filtered through her still-closed eyelids. She realized with a thrill that Daniel was beside her, his arm curled around her waist. As she opened her eyes, she was surprised to find him awake and staring quite intently at her. A smile played at his lips. His eyes sparkled. She opened her mouth to ask how long he’d been up, but he interrupted before she could say a word.

  “I love you,” he said, his eyes burning into her sleepy gaze.

  She felt as though her heart had stopped.

  ****

  Daniel had only been awake for fifteen minutes, but the words “I love you” had been swirling through his mind from the moment he’d laid eyes on her sleeping face. Longer than that. Those words had been in his mind for months, years, nearly every time he’d looked at her. Even thought of her. They were the truest words he’d ever spoken, and now that he’d said them aloud, he felt an incredible sense of relief, along with a small amount of fear.

  He knew he meant the words more than he could ever imagine meaning them. He also knew that she cared deeply for him. He’d known that for ages. The only question was whether or not her feelings mirrored his. Is she in love with me?

  He hoped so. He’d never wanted anything more. “I love you,” he said a second time.

  She answered with a kiss that took his mind off the fact that he was waiting to hear the words.

  As her mouth distracted him her body dragged him toward her, her arms circling around him, her legs pulling him closer, her hands weaving their way into his hair. He immersed himself inside her, moving with her as they made love yet again. It was beyond amazing to be able to touch her, to feel her all around him, to have her respond to his every caress, his every move both in and outside of her. “I love you,” he whispered into her hair as they lay breathing heavily.

  She answered by holding him even tighter. While he knew what she was saying with her body a nagging sensation tugged at his heart. He ached to hear the actual words. He’d waited this long to speak them aloud, so he could wait a while longer for her to say them back. He was willing to wait as long as it could possibly take. He just hoped it wouldn’t be too long.

  He breathed in the delicious scent of her, letting her warmth embrace him, thankful for what he already had, but knowing he wanted more. He wanted her, like this, forever, a thought that thrilled and terrified him all at once. So much to hope for, so much potential joy, and so much to possibly lose. He closed his eyes to the negative thoughts, kissing her again, and for the moment he had everything he needed.

  ****

  All too quickly the weekend came to an end. It was Sunday evening and as Marienne dried the last plate and Daniel placed it in the cupboard, he heard Ruth’s car pull into the driveway.

  “She’s home,” Marienne said, relief and excitement evident in her voice. She tossed the dishtowel on the counter and ran toward the front door.

  “Mommy!” Ella said.

  He looked down the hallway just in time to see her leap into Marienne’s waiting arms.

  “Oh, I missed you so much.” Marienne held her close.

  “I missed you too, Mommy. Grandma bought me a kitty!” She waved an orange beanbag kitten in the air.

  “How cute,” Marienne said, touching the stuffed animal. She turned toward Ruth. “How was she?”

  “She’s a doll,” Ruth said. “She can stay at my house any time. I loved every minute.”

  “I’m sure she did too. Thanks for having her.”

  Daniel made his way toward them.

  “Don’t thank me. It was my pleasure. Hi, Daniel. I didn’t see you there. How are you?”

  “I’m well,” he said. “Glad to hear you had a lovely weekend.”

  “How could you not? Ella’s a sweetheart.” Ruth beamed.

  “She certainly is.”

  “Daniel, see my new kitty?” Ella held it up.

  “I see.” Daniel crouched down. “Does it have a name?”

  “No. It hasn’t told me yet. Mommy can I play Playdoh?”

  Marienne stroked Ella’s hair. “Of course sweetie, let’s wait until Grandma leaves. Ruth, do you want coffee before you drive back?”

  “No, I’ll be fine. I don’t like to be on the road too late. You go ahead and get Ella her Playdoh. I’ll see you soon.” Ruth kissed Marienne on the cheek. “Good to see you, Daniel.”

  “Likewise,” he said.

  Ruth bent down and Ella wrapped her arms around her grandmother’s neck.

  “Bye, Ella,” Ruth said. “Good night.”

  “Drive safe,” Marienne called, waving as she watched Ruth pull out of the driveway.

  Marienne closed the front door and Daniel followed her into the kitchen where Ella was busy dragging out her Playdoh supplies.

  “I should get going, too,” Daniel said. “I’m sure you want some time alone with Ella before she goes to bed.”

  ****

  Marienne detected a hint of sadness in Daniel’s tone. She didn’t want him to leave yet. She didn’t want him to leave ever. And she still hadn’t told him that she loved him. When he had first said it she’d been too overwhelmed to say it back, then she’d been waiting for the perfect moment, and now he was heading home and she still hadn’t said it. Her heart pounded faster.

  “Good night, Ella,” Daniel kissed the top of her head.

  “Night, Daniel.” Ella put her arms up for a hug.

  Daniel smiled and picked her up. Ella wrapped herself around him like a little monkey. Daniel closed his eyes as he held her. Tears prickled the backs of Marienne’s eyes as she watched them. He set her down gently, and she went right back to her Playdoh.

  “Good night,” Daniel said to Marienne, his eyes focused on hers then he kissed her on the cheek.

  She wanted to fling herself around him like Ella had, but she couldn’t move. He let himself out the back door, and she watched as he started across their yards, hands shoved in his pockets, head down. She realized she couldn’t wait another minute.

  “Mommy will be right back,” she said, bending to kiss Ella’s head just as Daniel had, then she flung open the door and rushed outside.

  ****

  Daniel heard the screen door creak and turned to see Marienne running toward him.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, as she stopped in front of him. He strained to see her features in the dusky light.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” she said, breathless. “I love you.”

  It took a second for the words to register, and in that moment she said it again. “I love you, Daniel, I love you so much.” Then she was in his arms.

  Emotion welled in his throat to the point that he couldn’t speak. He held her, allowing her words and their meaning to sink in. She loves me. He squeezed his eyes shut as he hugged her closer. His breath returned and he inhaled her scent. Relief washed through him. She loves me. His voice reappeared and he whispered. “I love you.”

  She turned her head so their foreheads were touching, and they leaned into one another.

  “I have to get back to Ella,” she said, pressing against him.

  “I know.” He held her tighter and kissed her. A tender kiss he’d have gladly stayed locked in all night.

  “I’ll call you later.”

  His fingertips trailed down her arm, to her hand, keeping contact with her until he had to let go. “I’ll be waiting.” He smiled, and watched until she was safely inside her home, then turned to make his way across the yard to his own house.

  In spite of the chill in the night air, he felt warm and relaxed, and far happier than he could ever recall.

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  The following weeks passed in a blur of contentment. The three of them were a family. Daniel couldn’t remember ever being happier. He had a conference to attend in Maryland and was dreading being away for five days. He spent the night before his trip at home with Marienne and Ella.


  Marienne was extraordinarily quiet all through dinner and remained so even after Ella went to bed.

  Daniel put away the leftover food as Marienne stood at the sink washing dishes. He placed the last bowl into the fridge then turned toward her. Soap bubbles covered her fingers as she scrubbed away at a large pot. He wondered what was making her pensive.

  He hoped it wasn’t the fact that he was going out of town. He never wanted to be the source of her stress.

  “I still have to pack.” He sighed and wrapped his arms around her waist, breathing in the scent of her hair as he kissed the back of her head. “I should go soon.”

  ****

  “Okay,” she said, trying to ignore the sensations he was creating in her body. His hand brushed her hair from her neck as he nuzzled below her ear. She wanted nothing more than to drop the sponge and fling her arms around him, begging him not to leave, to stay with her forever, but instead she gripped it tightly, scrubbing harder.

  “Look,” she said, trying to concentrate on a particularly stubborn stain. “I want you to know, if you meet someone, at the conference, and you decide to…be with that person, I’ll understand.” She was thankful that he was behind her and couldn’t see her face. She held her breath.

  Daniel stopped nuzzling her neck. “Meet someone?” He tried to turn her toward him. “What are you talking about?”

  She held her body taut and kept scrubbing. “Meet someone. As in a woman. You were stuck in a marriage, for years, with someone who never appreciated you, and you moved straight from that to me, a woman with so much baggage we actually need two separate houses to contain it all. I just want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you. I don’t want you to sacrifice your happiness for me or feel obligated or….”

  “I want you to expect things from me.” He tried to turn her again, but she refused, so he positioned himself as much in front of her as he could. He cupped her face with his hand. “I want you to expect things from me. And I do not want to meet anyone because I already have everything I want right here with you. I love you.”

  Her eyes clouded with tears and she forced herself to look away.

  “I know you love me.” She chose her words carefully. “And you may not want to meet someone else, you may not plan to meet someone else, but if you do I want you to know I’ll understand.”

  ****

  Daniel closed his eyes, trying to contain his frustration. It bothered him to hear her undervaluing herself and bothered him that much more to hear her doubting him.

  “I love you,” he said again. “And I’m not Frank.”

  She cringed visibly.

  He wondered if he shouldn’t have said it. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t do that to anyone. You of all people should know that. I never once cheated on Justine, and you know it, not even when things got intolerable between us. And it’s not as though there wasn’t someone else I was attracted to. I have wanted you for years.” He meant the statement to prove he was loyal and to prove he was certain about his feelings, but it had come out all wrong.

  “See?” She finally looked at him. “You felt obligated to her all those years, and you stayed in spite of the fact that you wanted something else. I don’t want you to ignore something you want because of me.”

  He put his head back, praying for patience, overwrought by the fact that she felt this way. He knew her past. He knew how she’d been treated by so many people who had come before him. This was a serious concern.

  She really thought he could somehow do better than her, that someone out there might actually be more suited to him or make him happier. And for that he blamed himself. He obviously wasn’t doing enough to convince her otherwise.

  His mind raced as he tried to figure out a way to make her see that he wasn’t like all the others, that for him she was everything he’d ever wanted, more than he’d ever thought or hoped he would have.

  He turned the water off and physically removed the pot and sponge from her hands. He stepped between her and the sink, lacing her fingers in his own, and looked directly into her scared, defiant eyes. “I’m not ignoring anything. I can’t even think about anything but you.” He kissed her, grateful to feel that the tension in her body eased as she kissed him back. He released her hands so he could wrap his arms around her. “I love you,” he said, as he pulled back to look at her. “And I’m not going to stop just because you’ve given me permission to.”

  “I love you, too.” Her voice was quiet and still tinged with fear, a sound that broke his heart.

  They held each other for a while longer, but then he needed to go home to pack. He hated leaving her, all the more so because she was upset. They both were. He kissed her goodbye and made the walk back to his house.

  He couldn’t stop thinking about her words. How could she still have those thoughts? Those doubts? He realized it didn’t matter. All that mattered was how he could convince her that she had nothing to worry about, and he had an idea.

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  Daniel could barely concentrate on driving as he made his way home from the airport. He’d talked to Marienne several times every day he was away, but he needed to see her, to hold her. And he had something important to give her.

  He rushed upstairs as soon as he got into his house. He showered and put on fresh clothes. Excitement coursed through him.

  He moved aside box after box on the top shelf of the walk-in closet until he found the one he wanted. The layer of dust atop it was impressive. It hadn’t been touched in years. Digging through stacks of old letters and memorabilia he finally found what he was looking for. The tiny velvet box gave a creaky sigh as it opened. Inside lay his grandmother’s ring.

  He smiled, remembering the moment his mother had given it to him. He could still see her, sitting on her bed, on the blue patchwork quilt, the box in her outstretched hand. “It’s no fun to be alone,” she’d said. “And I have you to thank for the fact that I never was. Promise me you’ll find someone to share your life with. Having the right person by your side will make all the difference in the world. Find someone to love, who will love you back, forever.”

  Her words had haunted him after she died. He’d felt so lonely and had tried to do what she said. He thought he was fulfilling her request when he married Justine. Commitment was never an issue for him, he just didn’t know there was more.

  It hadn’t even occurred to him to give Justine his grandmother’s ring. It was too old-fashioned, and she wasn’t one for sentiment. He realized now that should have been a clue that he was picking the wrong person.

  He hadn’t realized that until he met Marienne. He didn’t know it was possible to feel the way he felt about her, to love someone so completely and to feel so accepted in return. Now that he had a chance to be with Marienne, to stay with her for a lifetime, he wanted to make sure he didn’t screw it up. This was what his mother had wished for him. There was no doubt in his mind. Marienne was his forever.

  The ring sparkled in his hand and he placed it in his pocket. Please, let her say yes.

  ****

  Marienne refreshed her computer screen, checking the flight arrivals every two minutes until Daniel’s plane was safely on the ground. She was counting the seconds until he got home. The five days he’d been gone had seemed like a lifetime.

  She hated that she’d been so cranky when he left. Fear had gotten the better of her, and she was trying to protect herself. The moment he’d walked out her door she’d wanted to take it all back, to tell him she never wanted him to leave her.

  She knew he wasn’t like all the other men in her life, yet she’d treated him as though he was. Stupid. Stupid. She hoped he could forgive her.

  All she wanted was to be in his arms. Always. A future without him was unthinkable. He was everything she’d ever hoped for, not only for herself, but for Ella. She wanted to have babies with him, to grow old with him. I hope he still wants me….

  Daniel called to tell her he was home, and he
’d be over in a little while. She sat at the kitchen table, heart racing. When she finally saw him crossing the yard she could barely contain herself.

  She stood by the open door, feeling like she might burst.

  “I’m sorry,” she said the second he stepped into the house.

  He silenced her with a kiss. “I have something for you.” He took her hand, led her into the living room and sat her down on the couch. “Here,” he said, placing a large square box on her lap. He held onto it as he continued. “A long time ago, in your garage, we found your old Wall of Men photos, and you told me a story about how you’d captioned a photo of me back in college. I reserved the right to caption any photos of you that I saw fit, at any point in the future, so now I have.” He took his hand off the box as she stared at him. “Go ahead. Have a look.”

  She removed the top of the box, uncovering a square, black leather photo album, with a picture window on the front. Inside the window, in a large plain font, was the single word “Us.”

  “Daniel,” she said.

  “Open it.”

  She lifted the cover. There was one photo per page, a caption beneath each.

  Best, it said beneath a photo of Marienne in her kitchen surrounded by racks of cookies. Friends, it said beneath a photo of the two of them laughing at a party, years ago.

  She turned to the next page and laughed.

  Partners, it said beneath a photo of them working on their first stage project together, both covered in paint and laughing. In Crime, it said beneath a photo of them posing together, dressed as gangsters for a Halloween party.

  She flipped to the following page. Tears began to fill her eyes.

  Sharing, it said, beneath a crookedly framed photo Ella had taken of them eating ice cream in the park. Everything, it said, beneath a photo of the two of them with Ella between them. She looked at him, eyes brimming.