Side Effects

by VK Powell

  “Are we done here?” Jordan asked.

  “I think so. Thanks for your help, Neela.” Bex started back to the car but stopped when Jordan didn’t follow. “Jordan, let’s go.”

  “I need to talk to her.” She nodded toward Neela.

  “Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to you.” Bex looked at Neela, and she indicated that it was okay. “Fine. I’ll just wait over there.” She pointed to a picnic table a short distance away.

  “I don’t need a babysitter,” Jordan said.

  “No, you need a rabies shot.” Bex laughed and took a seat with her back to them.

  Neela wanted an apology for her abrupt dismissal yesterday, or at least an acknowledgment that it had been hurtful, but she didn’t expect it. Jordan kicked at a clump of grass with the toe of her boot before finally speaking.

  “Neela, look at me.”

  She took a deep breath to brace herself for Jordan’s anger and verbal onslaught. When she looked up, she swallowed a gasp. Jordan’s eyes were glistening and her face was a mask of anguish.

  “Why did you sleep with her?” The rich timbre of her voice had become a raspy whisper.

  All the professionalism Neela had vowed to maintain and the strong line she’d drawn in the sand vanished, and she spoke from her heart. “I needed comfort. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. And as you’ve pointed out, we’re not in a relationship.”

  “Are you in love with her?”

  “Liz is a wonderful person. We’re the same.”

  “The same as what?” Jordan stepped closer and Neela searched for the fire that fueled her, but the angry energy had shifted into the misery of defeat.

  “Ordinary women who want a life with a woman we love.”

  “Neela, you’ll never be ordinary.” Jordan’s gaze slid to her neck and her nostrils flared. “She damaged you, but I guess I did too. I’m sorry about last night, about everything. You’re probably getting tired of my lame apologies, especially when I just turn around and do more stupid stuff. I won’t bother you again.” She walked toward the patrol car.

  “Jordan—”

  “Neela.” Rose was running across the lawn frantically waving her arms. “Neela.”

  “Not now, Rose.”

  “But—”

  “Rose, please. Jordan, wait.” Rose was never upset, which meant something was seriously wrong. But this could be the most important conversation of her life, and if she let Jordan walk away, they might never have it. She had to figure this woman out, solar one minute and polar the next. “Jordan.”

  “Neela.” Rose was insistent. “I’m sorry, but the governor will be here in five minutes.”

  “What?” Neela watched Jordan get in her car, helpless to stop her. She walked back toward the building with Rose, leaving a piece of her heart behind. “How many ways can this man mess up my life?”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. His assistant said the governor had to speak to you personally. It must be bad if he’s coming to see you. He’s never been here before. Wonder what it’s about? Have you heard anything? You don’t think he’ll fire us, do you?”

  “Take a breath, Rose. We’ll deal with it when it happens.” Like she should’ve done with Jordan two days ago. She’d glimpsed Jordan’s vulnerability and should’ve cherished and nurtured it, not walked away from it. But she hadn’t just walked away. She’d run into another woman’s arms. No wonder Jordan had written her off.

  “What do you want me to do, boss?” Rose was practically hyperventilating beside her.

  “Check my cell phone and make sure I have a lot of battery time. If not, give me yours. I want everything this man says recorded.”

  “You’ve got it.”

  They’d barely gotten back to the office and set up the phone when Governor Lloyd walked in. He stood about six feet tall with straight brown hair that stuck out at odd angles. A man in his position ought to be able to afford a decent barber.

  “Neela, how nice to see you again. I hope my visit hasn’t interrupted your day too much.”

  Like you really care. “No imposition at all. I’m always glad to see you, sir, but I’m sure this isn’t a social call. You’re much too busy.”

  “That’s one thing I’ve always admired about you, Neela. You’re a smart girl, and you’re exactly right.” He pulled her desk chair into the middle of the room and sat down. The arrogant ass always had to be the center of attention. “As you know, these Guilford Citizens for Equality protestors are smoking my ass every week about one damn thing or another. You and I haven’t always been on the same page, but you’ve done a good job for me since I took office. I need to ask a big favor.”

  He had a lot of nerve asking anything of her after calling her a girl. Her immigrant parents had clawed their way up the socio-economic ladder to provide for her. She had fought every prejudice of her upbringing to become an esteemed scholar in her field, even securing public office and helping set policy that affected people’s lives. Having Matt Lloyd call her a girl was disrespectful to her parents’ struggles and her accomplishments. She bit back a sarcastic retort and waited for him to drop the bomb. “How can I help?”

  “That’s the spirit. I want you to attend a meeting for me day after tomorrow.”

  Neela felt a sick roiling in her stomach as she asked, “What kind of meeting?”

  Lloyd grinned like he was presenting her with a gift. “These protestors want to ask a few questions about the abortion-related portion of the Family, Faith, and Freedom Protection Act bill. I figured you know more about it than anybody, since you used to advocate for that sort of thing and now you work for me.”

  She tried to swallow the foul taste in her throat. He wanted her to represent him and his degrading legislation to a group of people who opposed it—a group she actually supported. If she refused, he would probably fire her on the spot and her staff as well. If she agreed, she’d be going against everything she believed in and betraying a lot of people she’d worked with and respected in their fight against men like Matt Lloyd. And she had to consider Bina. What would happen to her health coverage and her expensive medicines if Neela lost her job? When all else fails, go with the truth.

  “Governor, as you’ve already pointed out, we have some basic philosophical differences. Do you really think I’m the best person for this particular assignment?”

  “Damn, girl, you’re the only person for the job. If they see you’re on board, it’ll take some of the wind out of their sails.”

  He wanted an answer, and she needed to stall. “Could I have some time to review the bill before I commit? I obviously wasn’t one of the authors.” She knew the damn thing by heart, but it was all she could come up with on the fly.

  “You’ve got two days to review the bill and get your presentation ready. I expect you to be there to support our administration. My assistant will email you the location details.” He stood and shoved her chair back toward her desk with his foot. “Have a nice day, Neela.”

  When the governor’s car pulled out of the lot, Rosemary was back in her office. “Jesus, we’re in deep shit now, boss.”

  “Well, one of us certainly is.”

  “How can I help?”

  “I can’t ask you to get involved in this, Rose. If there’s any way to save your job, we have to take it. I’ll handle this myself.”

  Rosemary put her hands on her hips and stared at her over the rim of her reading glasses. “First, you’re not asking me to get involved. I volunteered. And second, I wouldn’t work here for one second without you. Now, what do we need to do?”

  She hugged Rose and guided her toward the small corner table. “You really are my rock. Remember the Excel spreadsheet you gave me with Ed Branson’s Guilford Citizens for Equality contacts on it?” Rose nodded. “We need to call every person on the list and have them spread the word. Round up a few volunteers to help us make the calls. We can meet at my house tonight. Then find a quiet community center, a place our redneck governor wouldn�
�t be caught dead.”

  “And then what?”

  “We’ll hold one hell of a pep rally tomorrow.”

  *

  “What the hell are you thinking?” Bex followed Jordan to the car, asking questions with every step. “What have you done? Did you just walk away from that? Are you crazy?”

  Jordan got in the car and slammed the door. “She made her decision.”

  “Did she? Or did you make it for her?”

  “She slept with that woman, that Liz. She’s made her choice, and I can’t blame her. I don’t have anything to offer.”

  “You mean besides your pleasing personality and charm? Who can blame her for running in the opposite direction, but that’s what you wanted all along, isn’t it?”

  “What are you talking about, Bex?”

  “You treated her like just another fuck so she wouldn’t care about you. That’s one of your defenses. If she’s not scared off by your recklessness, she certainly won’t stick around when you treat her like crap. You keep everyone at arm’s length, and if they try to get close, you push them away first. Keeps you from being left again, doesn’t it?”

  “Shut up.”

  “That won’t work this time, partner. Neela is a once-in-a-lifetime woman. She cares about you in spite of yourself. Can’t you see that?”

  “Then why did she screw another woman?”

  “She went through an ordeal the other night. You know what it’s like to be scared out of your mind and have the adrenaline driving you crazy. It’s got to go somewhere. Did she ask you to help her? She doesn’t pull punches.”

  Jordan couldn’t face Bex. She’d been too absorbed in her failings and her ego to consider Neela. Even after Neela had asked for help, Jordan had been unable to let go of her fear. She didn’t deserve Neela. “Yeah, I freaked because I couldn’t give her what she needed—the comfort, the intimacy. She deserves better than me.”

  “So you’ll slink off and have your little pity party and let that redheaded vixen steal the girl? Really?”

  Jordan’s anger rose and she turned toward Bex, ready for a fight. “What the hell else can I do? Didn’t you hear what I just said? I’m not good at intimacy. It wasn’t exactly a priority in the orphanage.”

  “Nobody’s naturally good at it. It’s not in your genes at birth or something you get a diploma for in college. We all have to learn in our own time, in our own way. You’re just a little slower than most.” She nudged Jordan’s shoulder. “It’s not a death sentence that you’re not a genius at it. You just need somebody like Neela to help you along. She’s perfect.”

  “How do you know?”

  “It’s been obvious since the first day in her office. Her employees love her. I bet any one of them would fall on a sword for her. She’s great with her mother and would do anything to protect her. She talks to people and really listens. She shows she cares because she’s not afraid to put herself out there. I bet she’s totally uninhibited in bed—”

  “Hey.”

  Bex held up her hands in defense. “I’m just saying. She’s a really caring person.”

  “That’s why she needs someone who deserves her.”

  “That’s why you need to give her a chance. Did you ever think maybe she needs someone exactly like you?”

  “What, a total screwup?”

  “Maybe you offer her something she’s never had, something she’s missing.”

  “Bex, you’re starting to worry me. You sound like Oprah or my therapist.”

  “Okay, okay, enough of the therapy session.” She turned her attention to the monitor and waited until the governor left. “I’ll check with Rosemary and see if she has that list of initiatives printed out for us. I’ve got a feeling we’re on to something with this Branson connection.”

  “Make sure Neela’s okay. She doesn’t look too happy with the governor.”

  “Why don’t you come ask her yourself?”

  “I’ll wait here.”

  “Chicken.”

  “Just hurry so we can go home. I’ve had enough of this day.”

  When she got home, she took Blue for a run around the park. She’d stopped by and collected Mrs. Cherry’s terrier as well. She finally figured out why Blue waited so patiently by the door every night. He loved to run and herd other dogs and just be outdoors. And she found mumbling to him under her breath about her day as she ran quite cathartic. The way he nuzzled her hand and leaned against her when they stopped seemed almost affectionate. He was a perfect companion—never talked back, asked her questions she couldn’t answer, or demanded things she couldn’t give. Maybe this dog-owning business wasn’t so bad.

  Chapter Twelve

  When Jordan and Bex pulled alongside Harry and Phil the next morning to debrief, Neela’s street and driveway looked like a used-car lot. “What the hell is going on?” Jordan asked as she handed over two fresh cups of coffee and hot doughnuts.

  “Thanks, Bishop. We got no idea what’s happening in there, but it’s pretty calm,” Phil said. “People have been coming and going all night like it’s Grand Central Station.”

  Jordan felt a flash of anxiety. “Have you seen an ambulance? Maybe something happened to Bina. Did you check?”

  “No ambulance or emergency personnel, just a few real lookers and a mini League of Nations. Everybody seemed seriously focused.” They air-toasted their coffees and drove away.

  “We need to find out what’s up,” Jordan said and walked toward the house with Bex close behind. She knocked, and a few seconds later, Liz Blackmon opened the door.

  “Well, good morning, detectives.” She lounged against the doorframe in a pair of silk pajamas. Jordan clenched her fists and tried to keep down her coffee. She nodded for Bex to handle the situation and stepped away but stayed within earshot.

  “We were concerned, with all the cars, that maybe something had happened with Bina or Neela. Is everything all right, Ms. Blackmon?” Bex’s tone was ingratiating, almost flirty. Jordan watched her rake her fingers through her hair and square her shoulders, both clear indications of attraction. Liz was exactly Bex’s type—feminine, busty, and redheaded.

  “Get on with it,” Jordan mumbled. She wanted to be anywhere but standing outside Neela’s house with Liz Blackmon inside.

  “Come in, detectives. I’d love to, what do you call it, brief you.” She stood aside, and Bex passed closer than necessary on her way in. “Detective Bishop?”

  “I’ll be in the car.”

  “Suit yourself, but Neela has whipped up a full breakfast spread—waffles, bacon, eggs, and fruit on the side. She’s really quite the cook. Sure you won’t join us?”

  Jordan walked toward her vehicle without answering. Us indeed. Now her best friend had been lured into the vixen’s web. She’d probably come out grinning, freshly fucked just like Neela. Stop it. Torturing herself with images of what was happening and what never could would only shred her and fuel her frustration and sadness.

  She focused on the ducks paddling effortlessly on the lake across the street and on a couple of runners looping the water. When the car door opened and the seat beside her shifted, she assumed Bex was finally back. “Did you get what you wanted?”

  “Not yet, but hope springs eternal.”

  Neela’s sultry tone curled around her heart and squeezed until Jordan couldn’t breathe. She was almost afraid to look, fearing she might be a mirage. When she turned, Neela was next to her wearing the same jogging tights and form-hugging top as the first time Jordan had stood on her doorstep. Neela offered her a foil-covered plate and utensils wrapped in a paper napkin.

  “Bina insisted you taste my world-famous breakfast.”

  Jordan’s throat was so tight she had difficulty speaking. “W—world famous, huh?”

  “Well, at least in Mumbai and Greensboro. Bina thinks that is the world.”

  “How is she?” Jordan balanced the plate on the dash.

  “I think you’ve bewitched her. She talks about you all the time now, w
hich is a bit disconcerting considering how we left things.”

  “I need to get out of the way so you can move on with…” She nodded toward the house.

  “Jordan, Liz and I are—”

  “You don’t have to explain. I’d prefer not to hear the details.”

  “There are no details. Liz and I are friends who occasionally—”

  “Please, Neela.” Jordan’s blood churned as the picture of Liz making love to Neela, the way she hadn’t been able to, surged through her like poison.

  “What I’m trying to tell you is I’m not interested in Liz like that, and she’s not the reason we’re not together right now.” Neela touched Jordan’s arm and she flinched. “That is.”

  “I can’t change…things that have happened to me.”

  “But you can change how you deal with them. Jordan, look at me.”

  How could she look at Neela when all she wanted was to take her again, mark her in some way that told the world she was off limits? But Neela didn’t want to be taken. She wanted to be loved. “I’m not sure I can change. Just when I think I’ve got a handle on things…maybe I don’t have it in me.”

  “It’s in you, Jordan. I see it. Bina sees it. Won’t you please—”

  “Neela.” Liz called from the front yard.

  Neela closed her eyes and shook her head. “Really? When is it my turn?” She buried her face in her hands, and her heavy sigh ended in a choking sob. “Why is everything else suddenly so important? And why won’t you at least try to meet me halfway?”

  Jordan couldn’t bear seeing her so distressed. She reached across the seat and pulled Neela to her. Her hair was still damp and she smelled of soap. The outfit she wore was so tight that Jordan felt her nipples harden against her chest. She struggled to focus on Neela’s emotional needs and not her physical ones. “It’ll be okay.”

  “Will it, really?” Neela relaxed against her and nuzzled the side of her neck. “Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed. I feel like everybody wants a piece of me—to solve their problem, to look after them, or…I’m sorry. I sound incredibly selfish. I owe many people for the life I have.”