Dear to Me

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  “I guess you’ll have to choose what’s more important to you—the animals you think need your help, or your family and friends who love you so much,” Mama replied without really answering Melinda’s question.

  Melinda blinked against the tears blurring her vision but made no comment.

  Mama leaned across the table and looked at Melinda long and hard. “I’m not saying these things to make you feel guilty. I just don’t want you to make the same mistake I did when I left home.” She slid her chair back and stood. “Please know that as much as I would hate to see you go, I won’t try to stop you. It’s your life, and you will have to decide.”

  Melinda felt as if she were in a stupor, and seeing the distressed look on her mother’s face only made her feel worse. I should have told Mama sooner—maybe even had Dr. Franklin talk to her and Papa Noah. I shouldn’t have let her find out by seeing my failed GED test. That could have been avoided if I’d burned the silly thing.

  “I…uh …need to check on my animals in the barn,” she mumbled, pushing away from the table.

  When Mama made no reply, Melinda rushed out the back door and headed straight for the barn.

  Faith let her head fall forward until it rested on the table. She’d held up well while Melinda told of her plans, but now that Faith was alone in the kitchen, she could allow herself to grieve. How could this have happened? It was like reliving the past, only this time it wasn’t Faith wanting to leave home; it was her own precious daughter.

  Stinging tears escaped Faith’s lashes and dribbled onto her cheeks. “Like mother, like daughter,” she murmured as a burning lump formed in her throat. “My selfish desires and wayward ways have come back to haunt me.”

  “Faith, what’s wrong? What are you mumbling about?”

  Faith’s head jerked up. Noah stood staring down at her with a look of concern. She had been so caught up in her sorrow over Melinda that she hadn’t heard him come in.

  She rushed into his arms. “Oh, Noah, I don’t know how to tell you this, but we’ve lost our daughter to the world!”

  Noah pushed Faith gently away from him so that he was looking directly at her. “What are you talking about? How is Melinda lost to the world?”

  Faith drew in a shaky breath and quickly related about Melinda taking the GED test, failing it, and wanting to leave the Amish faith and become a vet. When she finished, she gulped in a quick breath of air and collapsed into a chair at the table.

  Noah took the seat beside Faith and reached for her hand. “No wonder our daughter’s been acting so fremm lately. I’ll bet she’s been planning this for some time.”

  Faith nodded. “I thought Melinda’s strange behavior was because she was upset over her and Gabe breaking up. I should have realized with her unhealthy preoccupation over animals that something more was on the wind.” She sniffed deeply. “Oh, Noah, this is all my fault.”

  “How can it be your fault?”

  “If I hadn’t been so hard on Melinda, always scolding her for spending too much time with her animal friends, maybe she wouldn’t have become discontent. Maybe—”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Noah gently squeezed her fingers. “We’ve both gotten after Melinda, and neither of us figured she’d ever want to leave home to become a vet.”

  Faith blinked against another set of tears. “What are we going to do? How can we keep Melinda from going English?”

  Noah let go of her hand and slipped his arm across her shoulders. “The best thing we can do is try to be more understanding and not push Melinda to do what we want. We also need to pray that the Lord’s will is done.”

  She nodded slowly. “Would you at least speak to her about this? The two of you have always had a special bond, even before you and I were married. If anyone can get through to our daughter, it will be you.”

  “I’ll do what I can, but I won’t press Melinda on this or try to make her feel guilty.”

  “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

  Noah pushed back his chair and stood. “Whatever Melinda decides, she needs to know that we still love her.”

  “Of course.” Faith sniffed. “I’ll always love my little girl, even if she does leave home.”

  As Noah headed for the barn, he prayed that God would give him the right words to say to Melinda. He knew if he said the wrong thing, it could drive her further away and might make her want to leave out of rebellion, the way Faith had done when she was a teenager and thought her folks disapproved of her joke telling and yodeling. If Faith had only known back then that it wasn’t her jokes or yodeling they disapproved of. It was the fact that she’d fooled around and shirked her duties so often.

  When Noah stepped into the barn a few minutes later, he found Melinda inside one of the horse stalls brushing the mare’s mane.

  “Hi, Papa Noah,” she said, glancing over at him as he approached the stall. “Did you just get home from work?”

  He nodded. “I went into the house to say hello to your mamm first and found her sitting at the kitchen table quite upset.”

  Melinda dropped her gaze to the floor, and her hand shook as she set the brush on the edge of a nearby shelf. “She told you then?”

  “Jah.”

  “Papa Noah, I—”

  “Why, Melinda? Why did you keep your plans a secret from us? Wouldn’t it have been better if you’d told us right away?”

  “I—I didn’t want to upset you or Mama. And since I haven’t passed my GED test yet or made a definite decision, I saw no point in talking about what I might want to do.”

  Noah leaned on the stall door and groaned. “I know you have a special way with animals and would probably make a good vet, but have you thought about how your leaving would affect this family—your mamm most of all?”

  Melinda nodded slowly as tears slipped from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. “It’s affected my relationship with Gabe, too. That’s the main reason we’re no longer a courting couple.”

  “Did you ask Gabe to leave the Amish faith with you?”

  “Jah, but he doesn’t want to.” Her chin quivered. “I guess he doesn’t love me enough to want to be with me.”

  “Maybe Gabe feels the same way about you.”

  Melinda lifted her gaze to meet his. “Oh, Papa Noah, I feel like my heart’s being torn in two. I do love Gabe, and I love my family, but if God has blessed me with a special talent to care for sick and hurting animals, shouldn’t I be using that talent to its full extent?”

  Noah grimaced, unsure of how best to answer. Just as he enjoyed working with the fledgling trees at Hank’s tree farm, he knew Melinda enjoyed working with the animals that came into Dr. Franklin’s clinic. Even so, they were just animals, and he didn’t understand why she would choose a career that would take her away from her family just to help animals who couldn’t really love her in return. And to give up her Amish faith and become part of an English world she barely remembered made no sense to him at all.

  He stepped inside the stall and drew Melinda into his arms, knowing a lecture was not what she needed right now. “I want you to know that your mamm and I will be praying that God will reveal His will and show you what you’re supposed to do.”

  “I’m praying for that, too,” Melinda said in a shaky voice.

  Noah patted her back then stepped out of the stall. As he left the barn, he made a decision. He would not mention the subject of Melinda leaving home again. Not until she was ready to give them her choice.

  Chapter 27

  On the first day of deer hunting season as the Hertzlers sat around the breakfast table, Noah instructed Melinda and Isaiah to stay out of the woods.

  “But, Papa Noah, NO HUNTING signs are posted all over our property,” Melinda reminded him.

  “That’s true,” he said with a nod, “but there’s always someone who either doesn’t see the signs or refuses to take them seriously and hunts wherever he pleases.”

  “Your daed’s right,” Grandpa put in. “I remember when I
was a boy someone shot a deer right out in our front yard.”

  Melinda gasped. “I hope the deer on our property will be okay and stay where it’s safe.”

  Isaiah grunted. “Like you can keep all the deer safe, Melinda.”

  “I can sure try.”

  “No, you can’t. The deer have a mind of their own, and—”

  Noah nudged Isaiah with his elbow. “Why don’t you eat your breakfast and quit being such a baddere to your sister?”

  “I ain’t bein’ a bother.” Isaiah wrinkled his nose. “She’s just verhuddelt, that’s all.”

  “I’m not confused,” Melinda shot back. “You’re the one who’s verhuddelt.”

  Noah lifted his hands as he shook his head. “Enough of the squabbling. You two are worse than a couple of hens fighting for the same piece of corn.”

  Grandpa chuckled, but Isaiah and Melinda both sat frowning, staring at their bowls of oatmeal.

  “Do like your daed says and eat before your food gets cold,” Faith said sternly.

  Melinda pushed back her chair. “I’m not hungry. If nobody has any objections, I think I’ll go out to the barn and see how my animals are doing.”

  Noah’s patience was beginning to wane, but he figured if Melinda wasn’t hungry he couldn’t very well force her to eat. “Go ahead to the barn,” he said. “But be sure and come back in time to help your mamm do the breakfast dishes and clean up the kitchen.”

  “I will.” Melinda rushed out of the kitchen without another word.

  All morning as Melinda did her chores, she worried about the deer. By the time she had finished cleaning the kitchen, she was a ball of nerves.

  She glanced around the room. No sign of Mama or Grandpa, and she knew Isaiah had gone fishing over at Rabers’ pond. Papa Noah had left for work as soon as they were finished eating, and she figured her mother had gone next door to clean Grandpa’s house.

  As Melinda hung up her choring apron, she thought about how there had been no mention of her failed GED test or plans of becoming a vet since she first told her parents. She wasn’t sure if they had accepted the idea of her leaving home or if it was just too painful for them to talk about. Either way, Melinda was glad there had been no mention of it. Until she took another GED test and got her scores, there wasn’t much she could do about her future plans.

  “I’d better leave Mama a note,” Melinda murmured, “so she doesn’t worry if she returns to the house and finds me gone.” She grabbed a piece of paper from a nearby drawer, hurried over to the table, and scrawled a message saying that she was going for a short walk before it was time to leave for the clinic. Then she rushed out the back door and headed straight for the woods.

  A short while later, Melinda stepped into the thicket of trees, wishing she had remembered to bring along her drawing tablet. It’s probably for the best. If I took the time to draw, I’d likely get carried away and be here much longer than I should.

  The sound of gunfire in the distance caused Melinda to shudder. Some poor animal had probably met its fate. At least it hadn’t happened on their property. She walked deeper into the woods, savoring the distinct aroma of fall with its crisp, clean air and fresh-fallen leaves strewn all over the ground like a carpet of red and gold.

  The rustle of leaves halted Melinda’s footsteps. She tipped her head and listened. There it was again.

  She scanned the area but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Suddenly a fawn stepped out of the bushes and stood staring at Melinda as though it needed her help.

  Melinda took a step forward, then another and another, until she was right beside the little deer. That’s when she saw it—a doe lying dead among a clump of bushes. “Oh no!” Her breath caught in her throat.

  It didn’t take Melinda long to realize that the mother deer had been shot, and this little one must be her fawn. Had someone been hunting on their property despite the signs Papa Noah had posted? Or had the doe been shot elsewhere and stumbled onto their land while it bled to death?

  The fawn stood beside Melinda with its nose and ears twitching. Melinda bent down and picked it up, noting that the little deer was lightweight and couldn’t have been more than a few days old. It was probably born late in the year, she decided.

  She hurried from the woods and entered the barn a short time later, where she settled the fawn in an empty horse stall. “I’ll need to find one of my feeding bottles and get some nourishment into you right away,” she said, patting the deer on top of its head.

  She stepped out of the stall and closed the door, planning to feed the deer and then head for work.

  “Guess what, Dr. Franklin,” Melinda said breathlessly as she entered the veterinary clinic later that day.

  “I can’t even begin to guess,” the vet said with a crooked smile. “But if it has something to do with an animal, then I’ll bet that’s why you look so wide-eyed and excited.”

  She nodded enthusiastically. “I found a baby deer in the woods, and its mother had been killed.”

  “Sorry to hear that. The fawn probably won’t survive without its mother.”

  “I’m hoping it will. I brought it back to our place and put it in an empty stall inside the barn. I plan to bottle-feed it, and—”

  Dr. Franklin held up his hand. “And what, Melinda? Make a pet out of it?”

  She nodded again.

  He shook his head as deep wrinkles creased his forehead. “That’s not a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “A deer is a wild animal, and it belongs in the woods, not held captive in a barn.”

  “I won’t keep it in the barn forever. When it’s bigger, I’ll have Papa Noah build a pen.”

  The doctor leaned forward with his elbows resting on the desk. “Do you think that’s fair to the deer when it should be running free in the woods?”

  “It might get shot like its mother.”

  “That’s part of life, Melinda. You can’t protect every animal from harm, you know.”

  “But I don’t like the thought of animals being hunted for the sport of it.” Melinda frowned. “Some people hunt just so they can brag to their friends about the big set of antlers they got or how good their gun is because they can shoot a deer from a long distance.”

  “I can see where you’re coming from, Melinda. It’s your sensitive spirit and caring attitude that would help you become a good vet.”

  She dropped her gaze to the floor. “That may never happen now.”

  “How come?”

  “I failed my GED test.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. Are you planning to take it again?”

  Melinda shrugged. “I was, but my mother found my test scores, and I had to tell my folks about my plans to become a vet.” She groaned. “They weren’t happy about it and offered me no support, except to say they’ll be praying that God will show me what I should do.”

  Dr. Franklin nodded. “I may not be as religious as your folks, but I do believe in God. Therefore, I have to say that your folks are right—you do need to pray about this and trust God to show you the right road to take.”

  “That’s what I plan to do.” She smiled. “In the meantime, I came here to work, so I guess I should get busy. Do you have anything in particular that needs to be done?”

  He nodded toward the door behind him. “Why don’t you clean out those empty cages in the back room? After that, you can help me clip the toenails on Hank Osborn’s two beagles.”

  Melinda gave a quick nod and scurried out of the room.

  When Noah stepped into the barn after arriving home from work that evening, he was shocked by the sight that greeted him. A young fawn stood in one of the empty horse stalls, and Melinda was kneeling in the straw beside it, stroking the little deer’s head.

  “What’s that deer doing in one of the horse’s stalls?” he asked, pointing at the fawn.

  Melinda looked up at him with a worried expression. “I found the poor thing in the woods earlier today, standing beside its dead mother.�
� She groaned. “I’m sure someone must have shot it, Papa Noah.”

  “I thought I had made myself clear when I told you and Isaiah not to go there today.” Noah clenched his teeth. Didn’t Melinda ever listen? Sometimes she made it so difficult to be patient and understanding.

  “I’m sorry, but if I hadn’t gone, this little deer would have died.”

  “What if the person who shot the fawn’s mother had been nearby and took another shot that might have hit you?”

  “God protected me, as well as this one,” she said, motioning to the fawn.

  “Jah, well, don’t go to the woods again. At least not until hunting season’s over.”

  She nodded in reply.

  Noah glanced around. “Where’s your bruder? Was he with you when you found the deer?”

  “Isaiah wasn’t with me. He went fishing over at Rabers’ pond soon after breakfast.”

  “And he’s not back yet?”

  “I don’t think so. His pole isn’t where he keeps it.” She pointed to the spot on the wall where Isaiah usually hung his fishing gear.

  “It’ll be getting dark soon, and I don’t like the idea of him being at the pond so late. Some crazy hunters could be out road hunting before dusk. That’s when the deer start to move around again.”

  “Would you like me to go look for him?” Melinda offered. “I could take the horse and buggy.”

  Noah shook his head. “If he’s not here within the hour, I’ll go after the boy myself.”

  Melinda shrugged and patted the little deer’s head. “Whatever you think is best.”

  Gabe leaned his gun against a tree and lowered himself to a log. Soon the sun would be going down; then the deer would likely show themselves.