by Bree Dahlia
“Uh, Jills?”
“Come on,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Hello. Chase, right?”
Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
I gave Perry what I hoped was a pissed-off dirty look before turning around. “Hi.”
I wanted to die. Bury myself alive. With the sun shining brightly on his face, he appeared….
Goddammit.
“Oh, look.” Perry pointed at the bottle in his hand. “Spotted Cow. Isn’t that something?”
“Not really,” I said. I was going to kill her.
Chase tilted his head at her but didn’t comment. Then he zeroed back on me. His face was too damned smooth. “I had to come over and check if it was really you. Glad to see you’re not dead after all.” He grinned, convincing me that my first, and definitely last, one-night stand was with a lunatic.
I squinted at him. His eyes looked more gold than green in the sun. Were lunatics always so beautiful? I suppose that’d be an added advantage; they could lure more people in that way.
“Imagine my surprise,” he said, “when I called that number you gave me, and it turned out to be Andersen’s Funeral Home.”
My cheeks blazed. “Ah, sorry about that.” Good thing the mortification distracted me from remembering his hands all over my body. For the most part.
His lips curved, and I was really hoping to see some lines, but I was shit out of luck. “Don’t worry about it.” There was no trace of scorn in his voice, and that made me feel worse. Chase lifted his beer, nodded, and walked away.
Perry’s eyeballs were burrowing into the side of my head. I glanced at her. “What?”
“What? You know very well what. Funeral home? What the hell is that about, Jills?”
I headed back to the safety of the hatch with her tripping over my heels. “I didn’t do that on purpose. I panicked and threw out some number; I didn’t know whose it was.”
“Oh, and he’s the young one?”
I hopped up in the truck and downed half my beer. She was right, I knew. It was stupid and childish, but as I’d mentioned, I panicked.
I took a slow, deep breath. “He asked for my number, and I didn’t want to give him my real one, so I changed the last couple digits. I honestly didn’t think he’d remember it, anyway. I can’t believe he did.”
“Why even play those games? You should have just told him you didn’t want to give it up.”
I watched two little boys tossing around a baseball. Daniel had a shirt just like that once. “I know, but I’ve never done this before, Perry. I didn’t want him to think I was a total tramp. I meet him only an hour before having sex with him? At least it wouldn’t seem as bad if I agreed to see him again. I was a little dazed, not exactly thinking clearly.”
“Why would you care what he thought about you if you never wanted to see him again?”
“I told you—”
“Holy shit!” Perry bounced, shaking the whole back. Then she jumped in front of me. “It didn’t even register at first. He asked for your number after you had sex, not before?”
“Well, yeah. So?” She stared at me like I’d lost it. “I’m sure he was just being polite.”
“Polite? It doesn’t work that way. He’s not going to ask for your number to be polite. And he sure as fuck isn’t going to try calling it to be polite.”
“Okay, maybe not polite, but I already proved I was easy. He probably—”
“Oh. My. God.” She dug her fingernails into my arm. “What if you popped his cherry?”
“What is the matter with you two?” Stephen stepped up in our faces. “There’re kids around.” He zoomed in on Perry more since she was the loud, sweary one. “And who were you talking to?”
“It’s the funniest thing. Remember that guy your sister met last weekend?”
“Perry.” I dropped my head in my hands, still reeling from the virgin comment. “He’s not interested.”
“That’s the guy you hooked up with?” I peeked up. “What the fuck, Jillian, is he even legal?”
“Of course he is,” I snapped back. Oh God, oh God, oh God. “He’s drinking, isn’t he?”
Stephen rolled his eyes. “Oh, yeah. Because underage drinking doesn’t exist.”
“Now, now, darling,” Perry said, in a tone that reminded me of the sickly drinks she liked to suck down. “There are children around.”
“And you think what Jillian’s doing is perfectly fine?”
“Jills can do whatever the hell she wants. She’s a grown woman.”
Stephen threw up his arms. “That’s the fucking problem!”
I felt like a little kid whose parents were taking sides. “Enough, okay? It was a mistake, and it’s over. We shouldn’t even be talking about this right now.”
“Damn right about that. Daniel’s probably older than him.”
I almost passed out on the spot. I hadn’t thought about it in those terms before. I was going to be sick. Thank God I was sitting down because I was positive my legs would have crumbled beneath me.
“But what if it wasn’t a mistake?” Perry said. “Who cares if he’s younger?”
Stephen took off his hat and plowed his hand through his hair. “Perry,” he spoke calmly. “There’s young, and then there’s young. You didn’t grow up with us. You didn’t see what our mother went through. Jillian would never put Daniel through the same thing.”
My brother was just nailing it in harder and harder. Maybe I would end up in that funeral home after all. He wasn’t saying anything incorrect, but that didn’t help me feel any less shitty.
“God, Stephen. Lay off. She’s not marrying the guy. And your parents are not Jills and Chase.”
“There is no me and Chase.”
“He’s cute. He seems nice.” Perry ticked off her fingers. “He’s obviously into your sister. He’s polite, according to Jills.” She smiled at me sweetly. “He plays guitar. He was in a cool band for a night. It’d probably be more often if he weren’t still in school. He’s—”
“Wait, say that again,” I said. Stephen shook his head as he plunged his hand into the icy cooler.
“Which attribute do you want me to repeat?”
“What’s the school thing about? Perry, you promised me you wouldn’t go digging.”
“Probably high school,” my brother said, still shaking his head.
“That’s not even remotely funny, and you know it.”
“Do you see me fucking laughing?”
I crossed my arms. This was getting ridiculous. We were spending an enormous amount of time talking about something that didn’t need to be talked about. What was done was done; I couldn’t go back and change anything.
“I didn’t, Jills. I was drilling Stu when you went to, uh, drill Chase.”
Stephen stalked away. His head was going to spin right off if he didn’t stop moving it that way. “Dammit, Perry.” I uncrossed my arms and pushed my palms against my forehead.
“Sorry. But anyway, I asked Stu a gazillion questions that night. I haven’t talked to him since. I swear. I wanted to know more about the guy you were with. Understandable, right? I didn’t mention this at your mom’s because I didn’t want to freak you out anymore. You were kinda worked up that day.”
She paused, and I wondered what else she could possibly say. And did I even care to hear it at that point?
“So, I found out he’s a good guy; he did save their butts that night. Has something to do with this charity thing… I think. Stu didn’t know him as well as the guy who was having a baby or something.” She twisted her lips. “And hmm… Can’t remember exactly what was said about school, but he’s in one. I’m pretty sure about that. Kinda. I was drinking a little.”
“A little?”
“And when I saw Chase again today… Well, he does look sorta young.”
“Sorta?”
She sighed loudly. “The point is who cares? Stephen is completely exaggerating. I doubt he’s younger than Daniel. You were due a little
fun, so don’t beat yourself up about it. Age is just a number, right?”
“No, Perry, it’s not.” My stomach tightened. I couldn’t explain the turmoil going on down there, but this was hitting me hard.
She took one look at me and gave me a big hug. “Oh, Jills, what are you going to do?”
“I’m not going to do anything. It happened. It’s over. I may not be experienced in ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’ams,’ but I think I’m experienced enough to handle this.”
It was one time. Chase is legal. He is definitely not a virgin. And I am never making the same mistake twice.
It was one time.
One. Time.
Lunch?
I typed off a quick reply to Perry: Can’t. Swamped today. My stomach roared so loud I worried Mr. Swanson heard it on the other end. He was either going to sign or not, but he was taking his sweet time letting me know the answer. I was starting to think he just liked hearing my voice. Or making me squirm.
I can bring over Angelina’s?
Oh, my God, I loved her. I would be forever in your debt.
Be there in 20. XO
It felt like only a few minutes before I saw Perry tromping up the steps that led to my office door. She peeked in the window, and I waved her in.
“Thank you, Mr. Swanson. I’ll have all the required paperwork faxed over within the hour.”
Perry set the bag on my desk, the aroma wafting up and distracting me. I mouthed, “Thank you,” as I quickly finished the call. Leaning back in my chair, I scrubbed my hands over my face. “That was brutal but worth it. Unless he changes his mind in the next twenty-four hours, I’m golden.”
“That’s awesome!” She pulled up a chair, and I pulled out the sandwiches. “Now you can take more time off and start enjoying all that commission you’re bringing in.”
I scarfed down a huge portion of my sub before she even started hers. “Hey, I did take off a big chunk of my day for the game.” Actually, it was more like the entire day since I couldn’t center my mind long enough to get anything accomplished when I returned home. I ended up sitting on my back porch swing and watching the wild turkeys trek back and forth through my yard. Productive.
She nibbled on a piece of cheese. “How’s your sandwich?”
“So good. You are a godsend.” The only thing that had graced my stomach all day was several cups of strong, black coffee. “Do you want some iced tea?”
She nodded, and I went into the kitchen and pulled the pitcher from the fridge. I poured two glasses, grabbing the canister of sugar for her.
“Are you still taking off this weekend?” Perry asked when I came back.
“For the most part.” I handed her a glass, setting the sugar beside her. “Especially now that I have Mr. Swanson wrapped up. Why, what’s up? I thought you had to work.”
“I do, that’s the problem. I promised I’d pick up Emily from softball practice and bring her home during my break, but now they’ve called a mandatory meeting during that time. And I thought maybe since you’re forever in my debt and all….”
I laughed. “No problem. What time?”
I thought her smile would bust open her cheeks. I guess she was happy. “Be there at eleven. You can’t be late, okay? Hillside Park right off 94, next to that little charter school.”
“Yes, I know where it is. Anything else?” I collected all the documents I needed to fax over, and I had another call coming in. My short lunch break was over, but if it weren’t for Perry, I probably wouldn’t have eaten at all.
“Nope, that’s about it. I’ll let Sam know. Thanks so much; you won’t regret it.”
My eyebrows scrunched together as I switched on the headset. What an odd thing to say. Why would I regret it?
I swung into the lot ten minutes early, seeing the girls were still gathered on the field. I didn’t know if I should wait in my car until the end of practice, but it was too nice of a day to be cooped up. The predicted heat wave was pushed forward another day, giving me more time to work on the a/c. Every day I’d planned to fix it, another reason popped up for me not to.
I cut through the grass and over to the diamond, plunking myself down on the bleachers. I glanced around at all the empty spaces. Shouldn’t there be more parents here? It was close enough to pick-up. Come to think of it, there was only one other car in the lot.
Squinting against the sun, I cursed myself for forgetting my glasses. I shaded my eyes with my hand and tried to scope out Emily from the rest of the bunch that was lining up for the tee. Practice didn’t appear to be almost over. Maybe Perry got the time wrong.
I pulled out my phone to shoot her a text but decided against it, not wanting to bother her during the meeting. I set it aside as a young woman sat down next to me. “Hi,” she said. “I haven’t seen you around before. Which one’s yours?”
“Emily. Well, she’s not mine; she’s my friend’s niece. I’m picking her up today.”
She nodded. “The redhead.” With the sun piercing my eyeballs, they all seemed to have a red tint to their hair. She gave me a once-over. “Cute shirt.”
“Thanks.” I slapped my palms on my thighs. “What time is practice over? I was told eleven.”
“Oh, no. You probably still have at least a half hour yet.”
Hmm… now what? I could take a walk, swing on the swings. I used to love that. I wondered if I could even tolerate it anymore without feeling nauseous. Or I could just sit here in the warm sun and chat with the woman next to me. She seemed pleasant enough.
I turned my head, about to ask her name, when I noticed a goofy smile on her face. Her eyes were transfixed on the coach, and I think I detected a bit of drool. I recognized that look. “Your boyfriend?” I asked.
“Not yet.”
“Good luck.” I smiled. How cute—a little crush. The woman looked to be twenty. I wish I could say I remembered those days, but I couldn’t recall a time when I wasn’t with Mike. Being a married new adult with a ready-made family didn’t leave much time for gushing and googly eyes.
One of the girls connected her bat with the ball, sending it flying. She ran right over to her coach and gave him a huge hug. Sweet. I was trying to get a better look at the guy who had the one beside me so spellbound when my cell pinged.
How’s everything?
I thought you were in a meeting? I texted back.
Ended early. I swear.
I frowned at the screen. Man, she was acting strangely.
“Jillian?”
Huh? I raised my head and thought I’d lost my frickin’ mind. In what world was it sane to have him standing right in front of me? And what the hell…? He was Emily’s coach?
“You know her?” I noticed the once-pleasant feminine eyes narrowing.
“You could say that,” he said, and the entire vibe shifted further. “What are you doing here?”
“I… uh…” If my tongue didn’t untie itself soon, I’d bite it for acting like such an idiot. Both of them stared at me. Wasn’t there a practice to finish? “I’m picking up Emily today.”
“I thought you’d never been here before?” she said as if I’d just lied to her. As if I’d somehow orchestrated this entire bizarre scene so I could get her heartthrob to talk to me instead of her.
“I haven’t. Excuse me.”
I had Perry’s line ringing before I’d barely made it off the bleachers. I stormed over to the empty playground area, waiting for her to pick up. I disconnected as soon as it hit voice mail.
Why aren’t you answering? I texted.
Sorry. Meeting’s over but still at work.
Do you happen to know what I’m thinking right now?
It was a long shot, but I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Much stranger coincidences had occurred. Perry could have had no idea of the coach’s identity. I stole a peek to see Chase back on the field and whatshername back to ogling, I assumed. I just wanted to get Emily and leave.
Thank you? she replied.
Goddam
mit.
WTF Perry?
You’re welcome.
Argh. I thrust my cell into my pocket, knowing I’d deal with her later in person. I sat on the swing, pumping my legs, surprised my stomach wasn’t rolling. I waited out the rest of the practice, zoning into the creak of the chains and wondering how I’d ever gotten myself into such a mess.
In the greater scheme of life, it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. People hook up all the time. They have sex, they forget, and they move on.
But I wasn’t forgetting, and I wasn’t moving on. Because the damn fucker was right in front of me. Taunting his May to my December.
I’d made it this far being responsible, so why the screw-up now?
Finally. The girls rushed off the field and dive-bombed several coolers sitting off in the grass. I slowed the swing, digging my heels in the dirt, hopping off when I noticed Emily looking around. She spotted me and ran over with her water and little baggie of snacks.
“Auntie Jillian.”
“Hi, honey.” My heart got all warm and gooey. Technically, I’m not her aunt, of course, but I loved when she called me that. She slid her hand in mine, and I assumed we’d be heading to the car.
“I need to get my glove, Auntie Jillian.” I was about to tell her I’d wait when I spotted a black blob on the silver bench. Shit. Would it be wrong to ask Emily to pick that up too?
Yes, it would. Unless I didn’t care about being a wimp because I made a little girl retrieve the purse I’d left behind. “Okay, honey, let’s go, and then I need to get you home.”
I sucked it up, and we walked over, my pulse jacking higher the closer Chase came into sight. He wore a pair of athletic shorts, and it was the first chance I had to get a really good glimpse of the musculature of his calves, the hard curves leading up to thicker slabs. They’d been hidden in jeans, except for the time his thighs were bare and pressed against me….
“Ouch! You’re squeezing my hand.”
I lessened my grip. “Sorry, sweetie.”
