by Bree Dahlia
Chase unlocked his arms from me and reached for the paper bag. He peered inside. “Hmm, let’s see. We have red pepper flakes and Roma tomatoes”—he pulled them from the bag and placed them next to the beer—“and some fresh mozzarella. And”—Chase handed me a familiar-looking card—“I found this today underneath the seat.”
“Thanks.” I stuck it on the fridge with a magnet. I thought I’d collected everything from my dumped purse that night, but obviously not. I already knew when and where the party was, so I hadn’t even noticed the missing invitation.
I turned back around to see him looking at me strangely. Did I have something hanging from my nose? I brushed it with my finger. “Uh, something wrong?”
“Were you going to invite me?” he asked softly.
My mouth dropped a little. Out of all the things I imagined had caused his funny look, that was not one of them. Was he for real?
“Chase?” I went over and leaned against the counter with him. “No, I wasn’t. Does that bother you?”
“Yes, Jillian. Of course, it does.”
I shook my head, clearing out some cobwebs. I was trying to make sense of this. An engagement party? Why would he want to go to one of those? It’s almost like inviting him to an actual wedding.
The atmosphere had shifted an entirely new direction. I could feel it in the air, and it made my skin bristle. No, this was not happening. We’d had nothing but harmony since that night at Wengo’s, and the reason why? Because it’d been just the two of us.
“Chase, hasn’t our time together been wonderful these past couple weeks? I don’t want to ruin that. You know the problems start when we’re out around other people. What’s wrong with just keeping it the two of us?”
He sighed and pulled me into his arms, kissing the top of my head. “It’s been amazing, beautiful. I’m not arguing that. But how will we ever get better at going out unless we practice more?” I looked up to his warm smile, filling me with fuzzy feelings. “Let’s try, Jillian.”
“Okay.”
I bounced in my seat, drumming my fingertips on my knee, ready to be sick. What was I thinking? How could I have let him talk me into this? He’d lured me in with promises of grandeur. Made me think we were doing so well we were invincible to handle anything. I’d been delusionally optimistic. Or optimistically delusional. Whichever way you played it, the song remained the same.
This was a mistake.
“Relax, Jillian.” Chase placed his hand on my leg, flattening my nervous tic. “I’m going to be prying you off the roof soon.”
Never mind the fact that we were on our way to an engagement party of approximately fifty people. Never mind the fact that my mom and Frank were going to be there and this was their first time meeting him. Never mind the fact that Stephen would be giving us the eagle eye every thirty seconds. That was all child’s play compared to where we were stopping first.
My mouth reminded me of that powder teachers threw down on the floor to soak up puke. I was scared spitless.
Chase pulled into the short driveway, and I wished I had some of that powder handy right then. He would not be too happy at the mess I was about to leave on his floor mat.
“Ready?” he asked.
“No.”
He laughed. “It’ll be fine. Honest. They’re great people and won’t do anything to make you uncomfortable.”
“Too late.”
Chase got out of the car and came around to my side, trying to help me up. Like I didn’t know how to get out of a car. I’d been doing it longer than him. I just didn’t want to.
“Jillian, please. It’s not a big deal. Trust me.”
“Fine.” I stood and smoothed down my sleeveless cocktail dress. I’d ventured into the fancy side of my closet today. I forced myself to ease up. For a mature woman, I was sure acting like a bratty toddler. “Sorry, Chase. I’m just really, really nervous.”
“Good thing you hide it well.” I narrowed my eyes at him, and he laughed again. “Come on.” He wrapped an arm around my waist and walked beside me as I clicked my way to the front door. Why had I worn such high heels? Did I look too street-walkerish? “You look beautiful,” he said as if reading my mind, brushing his lips over mine.
His mother was forty-three. Forty-three. Why couldn’t she have had him later in life, say at forty? I would have been much better with sixty-six. Or even in the fifties range, like Chase’s father. I could have worked with that. But only five years older than me? Talk about a panic attack. I was well on my way to having one.
The door opened, and I found myself staring at two very attractive people. Of course, what else would I expect? My stomach started twisting into painful knots at the thought of going inside. I put on a happy smile, though. Go, me.
“Mom, Dad, this is Jillian. Jillian, my parents, Colleen and Ray.”
“Nice to meet you.”
After the social niceties were over, Chase went to help his dad move some furniture into the basement to prepare for their new delivery, which was the whole reason he’d asked to stop there in the first place. He’d already planned to help that weekend, and they lived near the hall where the party was being held. So we left a little early. Boom. Perfect.
Yes, perfect. I was sitting there with his mother on the living room couch, just the two of us, and I was at a complete loss. This woman could have been my best friend, but instead, she’d given birth to a guy I wanted naked all the time. That wasn’t a good conversation starter.
“So, Jillian. Chase tells me you’re headed to your brother’s engagement party. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” Chase had her eyes; that was obvious, although she had flecks of blue instead of gold. At any rate, they were kind. It didn’t look like she wanted to grab a pitchfork and chase me through the woods thinking I was her son’s predator. “We love the woman he’s marrying, so we’re all very happy about it.”
She talked about family and a little about business, never asking anything too personal and completely avoiding questions about Chase and me as a couple. I wondered if that was premeditated. Chase had probably briefed her on the safe topics. Whatever the reason, I was relieved and thankful. Especially since my age was never brought to light, and it wasn’t like we were sitting there in the dark wearing sunglasses. She knew very well that I was much older than her son, but she never treated me that way.
My stress level dropped to the negative digits. I no longer cared how long it was taking Chase. We still had plenty of time before the party started, and he was right. It was fine.
She must have noticed me eying a pretty photo album sitting on the coffee table because she said, “Would you like to take a look?”
“Oh, I don’t want to pry.” I was looking at the yellow and pink gardenias on the cover, not suggesting that she show me private photos. But then, if they were private, she probably wouldn’t have it sitting out to begin with.
“Not at all,” she said, handing me the album. “You can see how adorable Chase was when he was little.” I smiled. There was no doubt he was a beautiful child.
I flipped through, those warm fuzzies flooding me again. Chase with a baseball mitt, riding his bike, holding a lamb at the petting zoo. “His first guitar?” My heart squeezed. He was holding a Les Paul Junior.
She nodded. “He was about ten, I think. Our neighbor at the time had a barely used one, and Chase worked for months to buy that thing. Washed cars, did yard work, whatever he could.”
There were more and more shots taken at and around the hospital the further I paged through. “Chase told me you were a patient there sometimes, and he’d sit with you in the room. I hope you’re doing well now?”
Her smile was reassuring. “Oh, yes. I’m doing wonderfully now, but it was touch and go for a while. Did Chase explain why?” I nodded, hoping he hadn’t betrayed her privacy. “I was the sick one, but he’s the one who suffered. I was laid up in that hospital room more than sometimes, Jillian. If I added it up, Chase lost years of his childh
ood being there with me. It forced him to grow up way too fast, but he never complained. I don’t know what I did right to deserve a child like him, but….”
My heart started pounding again. Her eyes were misting up, and I thought she’d start crying any minute. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I gave her a hug. It must have been the right thing because she came back smiling.
“Don’t mind me,” she said, “I get a little emotional when I think back to those days.” Nice one, Jillian. If I hadn’t looked at that photo album… “Do you know I was advised against having him?” I shook my head. “My heart was too weak. I was told if I went through with the pregnancy and birth, I was basically signing my own death warrant. But I knew it’d work out. I had age on my side. Being a young mother had its advantages. I doubt my body would’ve been strong enough if I’d waited to have a child later in life. My only regret is relapsing so often as he grew.”
“From what I know of Chase, he turned out pretty well regardless. He’s one of the most honest and caring people I know.”
Her grin was wide. “I agree, but thank you kindly for saying so.”
“Ready?”
I whipped my head back to see Chase standing there. I hadn’t heard him come up. He held out his hand, and I took it.
“Ready,” I said.
Did I say I was ready? What a joke. I’d been so relaxed and comfortable at his parents’ house—to my complete surprise—that I’d been coaxed into a feeling of invincibleness again. But after we parked in the structure and stepped out of the car, my chest resumed its manic behavior.
Walking with him hand in hand pushed my limits to the extreme, but I tried my best to keep my anxiety under wraps. Chase deserved that. God, why couldn’t I take whatever he was on? He was much too calm, as if making an entrance with a woman fifteen years his senior was the most normal thing in the world.
We went through the glass doors and into the main lobby of the historic building. The hall was located in a hotel, and I couldn’t even muster up thoughts of sneaking off with him later. My lust was on the back burner; that’s how fired up my nerves were.
“You made it through the visit with my parents. This should be easy, right?” He pumped my hand a few times.
I exhaled long and loud. He was right. I’d been way more worried about that, and it’d turned out great. I could do this.
It wasn’t long before we spotted the Welcome to Perry and Stephen’s Engagement Party sign. “Well, this is it,” I said. Another hand squeeze from him, and we were pushing through the door.
Holy fuck. I felt like I was just drop-kicked by a kangaroo. She came at me full speed and rammed me backward. “Jills!” Perry screeched, squashing me in a giant hug. “You’re early!”
“By just a few minutes.” I glanced around; there weren’t many there yet, and that made Chase and me stand out more. She popped off me like a suction cup, letting me get a good look at her. “Doing a trial run? Wow… You look beyond amazing.” Perry wore a short white tulle dress, the contrast shocking against her inky hair. Instead of resembling a princess on her wedding day, she’d make that princess look like she was beaten with an ugly stick. Perry was going to be the bride who made all others envious. Hell, I was envious, and I didn’t even want to get married again.
“Thanks. It was too casual to wear as my wedding dress, but I thought it was perfect to wear for the party.”
“It definitely is.”
Perry set her sights on Chase next, earning me a smirk from her. “I’m giving you a get-out-of-jail-free card for this, Jills. I’m taking back that first strike I gave you. As long as you don’t screw up again, you’re all clear.”
“Um, thanks?” At least she didn’t say, ‘I’m so happy you finally wised up and took my advice to bring Chase out in public because now you two can fall deeply in love and live happily ever after, and by the way, did you do anal yet?’
“Chase,” Perry said, pulling him in for the same hug. “Thanks so much for coming. It means a lot.” She turned him slightly, so she was facing me and whispered, “He is hard.”
“God, Perry. He can hear you, you know. You’re right by his ear.” Chase chuckled, and she felt up his arms and shoulders a few times before letting go.
“Not that Stephen isn’t, of course.”
“Not that Stephen isn’t what?” My brother came up beside us, and I swore I detected a grimace when he noticed Chase, even though he was expecting him. At least I hoped Perry had warned him beforehand.
“Hard.”
“What?” Stephen said.
“You’re hard,” she said loudly.
“Really, Perry?” Her sister, Samantha, had just arrived. “You can’t show a little restraint during your engagement party?” She waved hello to Chase, then looked confused as to why he was there.
“It’d be easier if my smokin’-hot fiancé wasn’t so hard.” Perry grabbed him around the waist. “What do you say, baby? It’d be a shame to waste it. Should we go upstairs for a quickie before the others get here?”
Sam just shook her head and walked away.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” Stephen asked.
“Yep,” Perry said. “I love her and all, but sometimes she can be such a prude. It’s fun to mess with her.”
“As long as you had fun, dear.” My brother kissed her, and I melted on sight. They were like the sweetest candy together with none of the sickening.
“Isn’t he perfect?” she said. “Perfect and hard. What more could a woman ask for?” Perry winked at me.
The happy couple went off to greet the other guests who’d filed in. The place was starting to pack quickly. I strolled around with Chase, not sure what to do. We stopped by the champagne tower, checked that out awhile, got a couple vodka cranberries that had little ring-shaped ice cubes floating in them. We talked to a few people, and if anyone asked, Chase was a friend of mine. Easy-peasy.
Over the course of the next two hours, I grew pleasantly sublime. Chase had survived meeting Mom and Frank; in fact, it went better than imagined. I’d prepared my mom the other day, revealing his age, hoping to eliminate any surprises. However, I still thought she’d be leery of him, considering what she’d been through. That wasn’t the case at all. Both she and my stepdad were very welcoming, and I figured it had to do with all my prior assurances telling them it was nothing serious.
“How are you doing?” Chase asked. His breath in my ear made me shiver. He’d been keeping a close but respectable distance from me all night, and there were no outward displays of affection. I really appreciated him for that.
I could not wait to get him home and thank him properly.
“So far, so good.”
Chase and I found our spot for dinner and took a seat. We were at the table of honor, along with Perry, Stephen, and the parents. My biological father was not in attendance, and I doubted he was even invited.
We were the first ones to sit down, and it felt nice to have our little corner of the world for a while. There were pens and cards on the table, and I wondered what we were supposed to do with them.
“Hey!” Perry bounded over. “Try some.” She tried handing me her ice-blue glass, but I pushed it away. “You have to make me happy, remember? It’s one of your duties.”
“Fine.” I expected to shudder, and that’s exactly what happened when I took a sip. It tasted like mashed-up jellybeans.
She pointed at the cards. “You have to write down words of wisdom for us.” She smiled wide. “Advice for the married couple-to-be.” I had to stop from laughing. Like she’d take marital advice from anyone. Perry would run her relationship however she saw fit and probably be the most successful one at it too. I betted on her and Stephen being one of those rare couples who lasted forever.
“And these?” I picked up a different set.
“You can’t do that one. Guests have to guess how he proposed to win a prize. Obviously, you’re disqualified.”
“What about me?” Chase asked.
Pe
rry raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know?” He shook his head, and she narrowed her eyes like it was my fault for not telling him. “Then you have a shot. When you’re done, write your name on it and drop it in the pink box.” She pointed a finger at me as if making it clear that my window of spilling the answer was now closed tight.
“I’m not going to help him, Perry.”
“I’m sure he has ways of making you talk.” She blew me a kiss, then skipped off.
Chase scribbled some things down, and I was dying to see. I bet they’d be hilarious. He was a great guy, but I highly doubted he knew much about proposal ideas. When I tried grabbing the card, he snatched it away. “Uh-uh.” Then he darted over, letting it fall into the box before I could take a peek. I crossed my arms, and when he came back to the table, he yanked them apart, making me smile. “Now, what about the advice one?” he asked.
I picked up a pen and tapped it on the card. “I’m probably not the best one to be handing out words of wisdom. I’m divorced, remember?”
“So if you could do it all over again, what would you do differently?”
“Pick the right guy.”
Wait, what? Did I just say that out loud? Shit. I hope he didn’t think I was implying that he was the right guy. I didn’t mean it that way; it was only supposed to be a general statement. Was I reading too much into this?
I banged the card against my lip, then put it down before I got a paper cut. Thankfully, the server arrived shortly after, placing a couple baskets of bread in the center of our table. Thirty seconds later, the seats were filled, and Chase and I were no longer alone.
The dinner went smoothly. Chase was happy; he had a full plate of food in front of him. I was comfortable with the company around me. Stephen was reserved around Chase, but that was better than the alternative. Overall, everything was good.
The only awkward moment was when Perry asked me to sing at the wedding. Then she casually remarked that Chase should play alongside me. As soon as it left her mouth, I could see she realized her mistake. She gave me a “shit, I’m so sorry” look, quickly changing the subject. Fortunately, things went back to normal after that, and nothing came of it.
