The Axe Factor: A Jimm Juree Mystery (Jimm Juree Mysteries)

by Colin Cotterill

  It was five. I’d prepared dinner and taken the dogs on a blustery walk along what was left of the beach. Mair’s salted potato plantation was already under water. The sky was invigorating, charcoal gray with spits of lightning. Whatever was on its way would be a classic. Our gulf, geographically speaking, was a paddling pool with no extreme underground activity, so the worst we could expect was a lashing. No waves had ever exceeded four meters, and that had been way out at sea.

  I was in my room preparing my wardrobe for the night. I wanted something sheer and playful that could slip off one shoulder as we lay in bed laughing about Ed’s theory that Conrad had killed his wife. We’d reach a peak of mirth when I added Chom’s “perfect alibi” theory for my own demise. Conrad would be excited by all this talk of murder and roll onto me, rip off my chemise, and we’d make love through the night. The only obstacle I could see in this pleasurable night was the maid. I’d make sure the house was locked and bolted before we retired to the bedroom.

  It occurred to me that I didn’t have a silk chemise so I put my white cotton singlet in my overnight bag and opted for jeans and a T-shirt for the journey over there. He’d seen everything already, so there was no need to be mysterious. The rain had started to blow against my window, so I knew I’d be soaked before I made it to the end of the lane. I took my pink plastic poncho from the closet. I was way too early. I looked at myself in the mirror and decided a touch of lipstick wouldn’t come amiss. I didn’t have any, so I put on the cape, pulled up the hood, and went down to the shop. The moisture in the air took my breath away. Mair was counting the forty-seven baht she’d made for the day. The sign beside the till—a legacy from the previous owners—in Thai said NO CHANGE GIVEN. The English said NO CHANCE, which I supposed wasn’t so far wrong.

  “Mair,” I said, taking her hand.

  “Yes, Davinda.”

  “I forgive you.”

  “Oh? And what have I done now?”

  “I forgive you for turning my upbringing into a New Age experiment.”

  “That’s sweet of you, darling. If it ever bothers you again, you should consider what you’d be like today if I hadn’t taken charge of your upbringing.”

  I needed to sit outside under the canopy on the concrete bench at the concrete table to consider such a thing. The sky was heavy. There were lumps of salt in the wind. The sea, silent for so many months, was growling from the depths of its belly. Nature was in control again. If Mair hadn’t taken charge…? I gave it thought. I wouldn’t have been here for sure. Captain Kow wouldn’t have fathered me. I wouldn’t have been an outcast at school. Wouldn’t have found solace in the English language. Wouldn’t have gone to Australia and learned how to drink wine directly from a box. Wouldn’t have become a journalist. Probably wouldn’t have eaten so much at the urging of a mother who considered trimness a sin. Damn it. I would have become a Thai Airways flight attendant. I’d be groomed and polite and neat and married to a pilot.

  I was awakened from that nightmare by the beep-beep of a motorcycle horn. I looked up to see Nurse Da ride up the curb and under the canopy beside me. Her white uniform seemed preserved beneath a transparent cape, but her hair had been plastered flat by the rain. She switched off her engine.

  “Don’t you answer your cell phone anymore?” she asked.

  “My dog buried it. What’s up?”

  “Dr. Somluk, she’s back.”

  “Well, that’s … I suppose it’s good news as long as she recognizes how much trouble she’s put everyone through. I’m relieved. Is she okay?”

  “Seems to be.”

  “Seems? You haven’t seen her?”

  “I just got back from a couple of naughty days with Gogo. She texted. She wants to see both of us.”

  “She wants to see me? Why?”

  “I’ve been texting her about you and your help from the beginning. Keeping her up on the news. I suppose she wants to—you know—thank you or something. Give you an exclusive story? I don’t know.”

  “When?”

  “Now. Have you got a few minutes?”

  I looked at my wrist, where I used to wear a watch before I became unemployed.

  “What time is it?” I asked.

  “Five-thirty.”

  I wasn’t meeting Conrad till seven-thirty. I had time.

  “Where is she?” I asked.

  “She said she’d meet you at the health center.”

  That was a few minutes down the road.

  “I can see her,” I said.

  “Great. Give her my love.”

  “You aren’t coming?”

  “Nah. I said I’d see her tomorrow. All I’m fit for at the moment is bed. That man of mine is an animal, Jimm. I’ve had barely an hour’s sleep in the last twenty-four.”

  She blushed.

  “Wait!” I said. “You haven’t been working for twenty-four hours?”

  “That’s right. I took compassionate leave. With no doctor in residence, I had to shut the clinic.”

  “Then … why…?”

  “The uniform?”

  “Yes.”

  “He’s a devil, isn’t he?”

  I got it. I had to confess a fat man with a nurse uniform fetish wasn’t what I’d call the optimum life partner, but who was I to complain?

  The health center was only five minutes from the resort, but the rain was coming down in carafes. I didn’t want to make the trip twice, so I went back to my cabin to put on my lipstick. Mair had already shut the shop when I got back to the car park, and I didn’t see anyone else. I shrouded myself in my poncho and cycled down to the intersection. There was already a three-centimeter top layer of water on the road flowing toward the sea. I hoped the lipstick was waterproof. I was the only one silly enough to be on the road. I’d never been that fond of cycling in the rain in Chiang Mai, but it was one of the few thrills down on the Gulf, so I’d learned to see it as a hobby. That and hanging up damp laundry.

  The gate to the health center was open as usual, but the clinic appeared to be locked up and dark, as were the rooms at the back. The only light pushed through the rain from the road out front. I parked the bicycle around the side and walked up the concrete steps. The center was blocked at street level by a line of bushes. I sat on the top step and watched the rain gush in parallel lines from the corrugated roof. And I wondered whether Dr. Somluk might be hiding somewhere in the shadows, still afraid of the boogie men. But after five minutes she still hadn’t emerged, and I was wondering whether to go home.

  Then a truck, an old beaten-up Datsun with a clunky exhaust pipe, drove into the compound at speed, did a noisy U-turn on the wet gravel and stopped just below my perch. The driver’s window squeaked slowly down. I was as surprised to see the woman sitting there as I was to see the smile on her face.

  “Dr. June?”

  “Hello, Jimm,” she shouted above the storm. “Hop in.”

  “I’m here to meet—”

  “I know. She’s with me. We’ve got a lot to tell you.”

  The passenger door swung open. All I could think about was not being late to meet Conrad.

  “Come on,” she said. “The rain’s getting in.”

  “I have a date,” I shouted as I walked down the steps.

  “What time?” she asked.

  “Seven-thirty.”

  She looked at her watch.

  “Oh, no problem,” she said. “Somluk and I just need to clear a few things up, and I’ll have you back with your lover long before then.”

  I stepped out into the rain and ran for the open door. The seat was already soaked, so I didn’t bother to take off my cape. I had to slam the door three times before it would close properly. Dr. June smiled at me again, then gunned the engine.

  “Where is she?” I asked.

  “In a safe place. At the hospital.”

  She pulled out into the road without stopping at the entrance. We kicked up a wall of water.

  “I have to apologize to you,” she said.


  “You do?”

  “Yes. I was extremely rude to you when you came to the hospital.”

  “I hadn’t noticed.”

  “Yes you had. But there was a reason, you see? Somluk and I didn’t know who to trust. Back then I didn’t realize you’d been helping us. I was afraid you might have been one of them. Somluk will explain it all. We really need your help.”

  She rested her gear hand on my thigh, and I felt a jolt of unease. She was driving faster than the conditions warranted.

  “Nice truck,” I said, looking for a seat belt that didn’t appear to be there.

  “Hospital maintenance.” She laughed. “It was the first piece of shit I could find the key for. I’m sure this thing causes half the accidents we treat in Emergency.”

  She was chatty and friendly all the way to the hospital. A different person. But still she wouldn’t answer any of my questions about Dr. Somluk.

  “I think she’d like to tell you all this herself” was all I got.

  We entered the hospital through the rear gate and parked away from the car park under a sprawling duck-foot tree. The sun had yet to go down behind the mountains of Phato, but it might as well have been midnight. The clouds were black. We ran together to the door of the administration building, which was unlit. Not even a light on the porch. Inside, all the office doors were closed apart from that of Dr. June.

  “Dr. Somluk,” she called out. “Jimm’s here.”

  There was no reply. She waited till we were inside her office before she turned on the light. There was nobody in the room, although on the coffee table in front of the small couch were two used coffee cups, two glasses, and half a bottle of wine.

  “She must be in the bathroom,” she said. “She never could hold her wine. I do hope you won’t tell anyone.”

  “Tell them what?”

  “A registered doctor driving under the influence of alcohol.”

  “It doesn’t look like you drank that much,” I said.

  “After everything we’ve been through, we both needed it,” she said. “Once you hear what’s happened, you’ll probably need one too. In fact…”

  She went to the wall cabinet and took out a clean glass.

  “Oh, I don’t think…” I began, but on a night like this a glass of red was exactly what I needed.

  “Don’t make me drink alone,” she said, poured a few fingers of wine into the glass, then the same amount into her own. She didn’t wait to salute me, just threw hers back and poured another.

  “Don’t you go thinking I’m a drunkard,” she said. “These are extreme times. I have to confess I am terribly nervous.”

  She looked at her watch and the door at the same time, which seemed impossible. She was making me nervous too.

  “What is keeping her?” she said.

  If the wine was to calm her nerves, it wasn’t working. I wondered why Dr. Somluk would turn out the light in the office and go to the bathroom in the dark. Or perhaps it was lighter when she … I took a couple of mouthfuls of my wine. It was a little bitter for a Shiraz, but I felt the bite of the alcohol at the back of my throat. Another half-dozen of these, I thought, and I’d be ready for anything.

  Or …

  Perhaps I wouldn’t.

  Dr. June put down her glass and smiled at me. It was a smile I would never forget.

  15.

  Have a Good Fright

  (nok air)

  “Where in heck is she?” asked Grandad Jah, not for the first time.

  The surveillance was all primed. Captain Kow had phoned Lieutenant Chompu from the rocks below Coralbank’s garden. He was being battered by the rain and buffeted by the wind, but he was a man of the sea, so what did he care? He said the main lights in the house were on, but as yet he’d seen no movement inside. Chompu’s SUV was parked at a spot near Mair’s shop that had a view of the 21-kilometer marker on the main road, interrupted only by sheets of rain. Chompu’s car was unlit and invisible in the dark. His nose pointed toward the road, ready to fall in pursuit when the farang picked up his prey. But the bait had vanished. They’d looked for Jimm in her room, the shop, and the kitchen, but she was nowhere to be seen.

  “I don’t like this,” said brother Arny, who had been recruited out of desperation. “What time is it?”

  All cell phones were on conference. Grandad Jah was above the house not far from the gate, waiting for the arrival of Coralbank’s car.

  “Seven fifteen,” said Chompu. “And no sign of anyone.”

  “The bicycle’s gone,” said Arny. “In this weather she couldn’t have ridden far.”

  “But why didn’t she tell anyone where she was going?” asked Chompu.

  “What if…?” said Grandad Jah. “What if he came early? What if she was down at the shop and he drove past, said he just happened to be passing and she might as well come before the allotted time? Left her bike at the store.”

  “You’ve been there half an hour,” said Chompu. “And you didn’t see anyone come.”

  “Who said he’d have to bring her to the house?” snapped Grandad. “He could have taken her anywhere.”

  Chompu clicked on his service radio and called the Pak Nam station. He told the desk sergeant to put out an APB and gave the registration number of Coralbank’s car. It sounded very impressive, but there was just the one police truck out after dark and it spent most of its time parked in front of the 7-Eleven. The duty officer was very fond of microwave tuna pie. There would only be a make on Coralbank’s car if the writer decided to stop by there and pick up the daily newspaper.

  “Arny?” said Chompu.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “See if you can find the bicycle.”

  “Yes, sir,” said Arny, and everyone visualized him saluting down the phone line.

  Arny took his duty seriously. Once he was sure the bike wasn’t leaning against a wall anywhere at the resort, he jumped in the Mighty X and began a slow search of the few places his sister might have ridden to in the pouring rain in the dark. Once you were away from the seven street-lights, darkness was all-consuming in Maprao and the bike didn’t have a lamp.

  Grandad Jah and Ed were contemplating their next move—although there wasn’t one—when Chompu, in a whisper, reported a sighting.

  “Men,” he said. “A scruffy, country-singer type on a motorcycle has just stopped in front of the road sign. I think I recognize him. He’s one of the Pak Nam motorcycle taxi drivers.”

  “What’s he doing?” asked Grandad.

  “He’s just sitting there.”

  “In the rain?”

  “Wait. He’s started up the motorcycle,” said the policeman, “and he’s coming this way. I mean, precisely this way.”

  The motorcyclist made a beeline for the lieutenant’s parked car and tapped on the window.

  “Hello, General,” said the taxi man, and saluted.

  Chompu wound down his window and was immediately splattered by the swirling rain.

  “What are you doing here, Anot?”

  “Here to pick up a Miss Jimm,” he said. “I was waiting at the 21-kilometer marker as instructed, but she’s not there. So my next instruction was to come to the resort and look for her here. Naturally, I’m not expecting any extra fee for this diversion, which is eating up even more gasoline than the original agreement covered.”

  “It’s two hundred meters.”

  “It all adds up. So, where is she?”

  “Who hired you?”

  “I’m sworn by motorcycle taxi driver confidentiality not to pass on that information.”

  “Fair enough. Let’s see your license.”

  Anot spat out an imaginary wad of tobacco.

  “A Burmese. Female. Speaks Thai. I didn’t ask her name. Told me to pick up this Miss Jimm at seven-thirty.”

  “And take her where?”

  “The big house on the headland.”

  “All right. Sorry. Your job’s canceled.”

  “Oh, no, General. It was COD. I can’
t lose this gig. I have a family of eight to feed. Little Noo is on his last legs with diphtheria as it is.”

  “You live alone, Anot. Nobody in their right mind would let you father children with them.”

  “Be that as it may, I was promised. Look at this night.”

  Chompu reached into his pocket.

  “How much did she agree?”

  “A thousand dollars, U.S. Large bills.”

  The policeman gave him a hundred baht. Anot held it up to the light above Mair’s shop to see if it was real.

  “Better than nothing,” he said, and rode off.

  Everyone had heard the exchange.

  “What do you fellows see up there?” Chompu asked.

  “Still no movement,” said Captain Kow. “All the lights on downstairs. No lights upstairs.”

  “I bet she rode up here on her bike,” said Kow.

  “She’d do that just to be difficult,” said Grandad. “I say we storm the place. I’ve got my pistol.”

  “Wait,” said Chompu. “There’s no way Jimm could make it up there on a bicycle. He’s expecting her to arrive on a motorcycle. So this is what we’ll do. I’ll drive over to the temple and meet you at the main road. We’ll take your Honda Dream to the gate. They might open up when they hear the motor. If they let us in, that’s an invitation. No need for a warrant.”

  “What about Jimm?” said Kow.

  “She’s best out of it. She probably got a flat tire somewhere. Or she’s waiting out the storm. Either way, Arny will find her.”

  * * *

  Arny had been to the two shops that didn’t belong to Mair and therefore had goods for sale. The girls in the shops fell into little pieces at the sight of him, and he had to wade through a lot of flirtatious banter before they’d tell him they hadn’t seen his sister. The bicycle was nowhere to be found. He was on his way to ask at Headman Beung’s place when his cell phone rang out the theme from Rocky.

  “Arny?”

  “Sissi?”

  “Has Jimm lost her phone again?”

  “I hear the dog buried it.”

  “Is she around?”

  “No, Sissi. I’m worried to death. We can’t find her.”

  “Is there anyone else there I can talk to?”