I shake my head, not understanding Noah’s behavior at all. “I don’t get you. You say you want to be with me, but here you are helping me with Ash.” My eyes go to the field to make sure Ash is too involved in the game to notice Noah sitting next to me.
He shrugs. “What can I say? I don’t like to see you unhappy.”
No. Don’t be sweet. Don’t say things that are going to make me…“I slept with Ash.” Where the hell did that come from? It’s clear he already knows, so why did I feel the need to say it?
“I know.” His eyes lower for a second, but then he faces me again. “It doesn’t change how I feel about you. But if Ash is the one you want, I’ll respect that.” Noah really is a nice guy. “The only thing is, if you keep giving me ins, letting me get close to you…well, I’m human. I’m going to keep myself in the picture. Give you the opportunity to choose me.”
“Why would you do that? How can you watch the person you want be with someone else?” I couldn’t handle Derrick kissing Stacy. That was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. How can Noah watch me be with Ash and still want to be with me?
“We’re in high school, Meg. People date. People break up. It happens all the time.”
“So, you’re waiting for Ash and me to break up?”
He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t need to.
“What if we don’t break up? You’re just out of luck?”
“Looks like it.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “You don’t think that will be the case though, do you?”
“Meg, you and Ash both have other people fighting for your attention. You won’t tell me to go away. You’ve pushed me away at times, but you’ve always let me back in. And Ash, he may have pulled away from Liz and come to you, but he isn’t telling her to go away either. Look at her.” He motions to Liz, who’s openly drooling over Ash as he’s calling the cadence. “She thinks she has a shot with him, despite you being his girlfriend. Ask yourself why that is.”
“It’s different now.”
“Why, because you two had sex?” His voice is much louder than I’d like it to be. A few people around us stare in our direction.
“Could you lower your voice, please?” I ask, feeling my cheeks flush.
“Why? Are you ashamed of it? You’re almost eighteen, and you and Ash have been together for months. Believe me, people assume you’re sleeping together.”
He’s probably right.
“The real issue here is that you actually think sex changes things. It doesn’t. It won’t make him stick around if he’s interested in someone else.”
“He’s not interested in her. He loves me.”
“Maybe you’re right, but don’t you think you should be ready for the worst?”
This has to be a trick, part of Noah’s plan to get me away from Ash. Only Noah’s not that guy. I don’t think he’d hurt me like that.
“Meg, I’m not trying to be mean. I really am looking out for you.”
Could Noah be right? Could Ash like Liz’s attention? Every other guy falls all over her. Why wouldn’t he? I turn back toward the field. Ash is at the water cooler, staring right at me. At me and Noah. And he’s not happy.
Chapter Fifteen
I immediately stand up and leave the bleachers, walking over to the gate around the field. Ash looks back to make sure his coach isn’t watching before walking over to me.
“What’s he doing here?” he asks between clenched teeth.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It kind of does, Meg.” He narrows his eyes at me.
“Look, he wasn’t sitting by me until…”
“Until what?”
“Liz made a comment so everyone, me specifically, would hear. I got angry and was ready to pound on her, but Noah rushed over and stopped me.” It’s totally not the time to ask, but I can’t help myself. “Ash, Noah thinks you like the attention you’re getting from Liz. Is there any truth to that?”
“Are you kidding me? You’re going to listen to that asshole?” He slams his hand into the gate. “Of course he’s going to say that, because he wants to get in your pants.”
“Ash, people are staring.”
“I don’t care. Let them. Damn it, Meg. All I care about is you. I thought after we…after last night things would change.” Him and me both. “But he’s already at your side.”
“I told him we slept together. Doesn’t that prove I don’t want to be with him?”
“You told him?” The anger fades from his face.
“Yes. I don’t want to lose you, Ash. I made sure he knows I love you.”
He reaches over the gate, grabs the back of my head, and pulls me to him. I kiss him, not caring who’s watching. No, I do care. I hope Liz is watching.
“Davidson!” Coach Larsen bellows.
Yeah, Ash will be running laps again today.
Ash pulls away and smiles. “Again, totally worth it.” He runs onto the field, and I stay at the gate for the rest of the game. We lose, but at least it’s a close game. Not the blowout we’re used to.
Noah slips off at some point. I’m not sure when, and I don’t really care. Ash comes over to the gate and kisses me again before he follows his team off the field. I walk away, heading to the locker room to wait for Ash.
“Can you believe her? She’s the reason we lost. She took Ash’s head right out of the game.”
I whirl around on Liz. “Listen, you pathetic freshman bitch.”
She stops short and gawks at me.
“Oh, don’t look so surprised. You wanted me to hear you, so deal with the backlash.” I step toward her, getting right in her face. “Ash is in love with me. You don’t stand a chance. So go look somewhere else and quit sniffing around other people’s boyfriends.”
She looks me up and down. “You think he loves you so much?”
“That’s what he told me last night when he was in my bed.” Yeah, I went there.
“Believe me, honey, you’re not doing anything with him that I wouldn’t do.”
I scoff. “He’d never sleep with a slut like you.”
“Whoa!” Noah rushes over and steps between us. “The two of you need to chill.”
Liz eyes Noah and one side of her mouth curves up. Oh, she wouldn’t.
“Want to help me calm down?” She’s looking at him like she wants to…
Noah meets my gaze instead of looking at Liz. “No, thanks. You definitely have some growing up to do.”
He doesn’t like younger girls. I can’t keep from smiling. Liz storms off with her friends, leaving Noah and me staring at each other.
“I guess I owe you again. That’s twice today you’ve kept me from getting suspended.”
“Well, if I let you get suspended, I wouldn’t get to see you at school, so there is something in it for me.”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever understand you, Noah.”
“You will. One day.” He walks away, brushing his hand against mine so discreetly I bet no one else saw it. But I sure felt it and the intent behind it. He knows he can make me feel something for him.
I wait outside the locker room for Ash and am totally shocked when he comes out before any of the other players. His hair is wet and his shirt’s damp, which means he got dressed before he finished drying off after his shower.
“Are you okay? Some of the guys said they saw you and Liz going at it.”
I reach for his hands. “I’m fine. We argued. Nothing physical.” Guys and their fantasies. I’m sure Liz and I were rolling around on the grass and pulling each other’s hair in the version of the story Ash’s friends told him.
He cups the side of my face. “She didn’t hurt you?”
“What makes you think I couldn’t take her in a fight?”
“I do think you could take her. I just don’t want you fighting, especially over me.”
“Really, I’m fine.” I reach up and kiss him.
“I told the guys I’m done with the parties. If she’s there, I’m not. I’d r
ather be with you anyway.”
“Ash, you can’t skip the football parties. They’re tradition.”
“Fine. Then you’re coming with me.”
“But girlfriends aren’t allowed, unless they’re cheerleaders.”
“I don’t care. I’m captain. I’m making a new rule.”
I wrap my arm around his waist, and he drapes his arm over my shoulder as we walk to our cars. “What do you feel like doing for the rest of the day?”
He raises one eyebrow. Why am I not surprised?
“Tell you what.”
His face falls.
“Ash, come on.”
“Sorry. You got my hopes up.” He sighs. “Go on.”
“Tennis.”
“Tennis?”
“Yeah, I want to teach you.”
“We tried that once, remember? It didn’t go so well.”
True, but tennis is the common factor with Noah and me. Maybe if I teach Ash to play, it will bring us closer and lessen my attraction to Noah. “Please.” I stop walking and pull him into me, kissing him lightly on the mouth and then on his neck.
“That’s so not fair.”
I laugh, knowing I’ve won. “Come on. I have a few rackets in my trunk.”
Ash puts his football gear in my car instead of walking to his. Neither one of us is dressed to play tennis, but it doesn’t matter. We walk hand in hand to the courts.
“Okay, if I’m going to do this, we have to work out a reward system.”
“Reward system?” This ought to be good.
“Yup. Every time I get the ball back in the court, I get a kiss.”
“So, we have to stop playing so I can kiss you? We’ll be here all day.”
“I’ll keep track until the point is over. How’s that?”
“And what if you win the point? What are you going to expect then?”
He pulls me into him, kissing me hungrily. We wind up kissing more than playing, but I’m not complaining.
***
I’m up early on Sunday, which isn’t normal for me. Ash goes to church and then out to lunch with his family, so I’ve got a few hours before I see him. I grab my car keys and drive to the courts. Since I didn’t really get much practice in with Ash—well, not tennis practice anyway—I want to get in a few hours, work on my serve for this week’s match. I see Noah the second I pull up. There’s no way he could’ve known I’d be here. This isn’t my normal Sunday routine.
“Hey,” he says as I walk onto the court. “Following me?”
“Cute, but no.”
“You’re never here on Sunday morning. I know because it’s my set practice time.”
So this really is a coincidence, nothing more. “I woke up early and didn’t know what else to do.” I do a few stretches to warm up.
“Where’s Ash?” Noah walks over to me, standing much closer than necessary.
“Church.”
“Why didn’t you call Grayson to hit with you?”
Grayson! Crap! I’ve been totally ignoring her. With all the drama between Ash and Noah I forgot to even check up on her to see how she’s feeling after being sick Friday afternoon. I’m officially the worst best friend.
Noah waves his hand in front of my face. “Did I lose you?”
“Sorry, I was thinking about Gray.”
“Well, you want to play?”
Why not? We’re both here. “Sure, but I get to serve first.”
He bounces the ball to me. “That’s my girl.” His words stop us both. I’m not his girl. I’m Ash’s girl.
“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” I say.
“No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it the way it came out.”
His expression is telling a completely different story.
I have to let him go. He has to know that there can’t be a future for him and me. I can’t let him think we have a chance when I know we don’t. As much as I think he and I could be great together under different circumstances, we can’t work now, and I won’t hurt him or Ash any more. I have to stop being selfish and thinking I can have them both. “Noah.” I pause, not sure how to continue. “I don’t want to hurt you any more than I want to hurt Ash. This thing between us, it isn’t working. It’s not good for any of us.”
“You don’t think I know that?” He walks away from me, stopping at the gate.
“I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” It’s such a lame thing to say, but I can’t let this go on any longer. “I don’t want to give you false hope. I love Ash.”
He turns back to me and his face softens. “You like me, Meg. I know you do.”
This is the moment of truth. I have to be strong. “Yes, I do. And if I wasn’t with Ash, I’d be with you. I know that.” As much as I hate admitting the truth, I know it’s what we both need to hear.
“I kind of hate him right now.”
“I’m so sorry, Noah.”
“It’s stupid, but I thought the crush you had on me…I don’t know. I guess I thought I really had a chance.” He shrugs. “But I’m too late. Not much I can do about it now.” He laughs but it’s completely forced. “I did try, though.”
God, my heart is breaking. I’m begging my feet to stay planted where they are because the rest of me wants to throw my arms around Noah. How can I feel this strongly for two guys at the same time? Is this even possible?
“I should’ve kissed you.” His words shock me. “I had so many chances. You gave me so many openings. I should’ve done it.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” I take one step closer. “Noah, one of the reasons why I like you is because you’re confident but sweet. You push the boundaries with me, but you never cross the line. You’ve always left it up to me.”
“And you chose him.”
“If it helps, you didn’t make the choice easy.”
He nods, looking every bit as hurt as I feel. “Bye, Meg.”
I watch him walk away, knowing that it’s not only for today. This goodbye is so much more than that. And I can’t blame him. He really, truly cares about me. He wanted me to choose him, but I didn’t. I feel awful for hurting him. Especially since I always thought of Noah as the kind of guy who didn’t get hurt by girls. He’s Noah Turner, the guy every girl in school wants. And I turned him down.
“Bye, Noah.”
Chapter Sixteen
Ash and I spend the entire afternoon and evening together, and it’s exactly what I need. Part of me can’t help feeling bad about Noah. I did what I had to though. I know that. Still, it hurts. He’s a good guy, and in so many ways he could’ve been perfect for me.
Ash and I are at Horseshoe Lake having a picnic dinner I made for us. This was our favorite place to meet over the summer when we were supposed to be training for tennis and football. It’s in the woods behind the school, so we could drive to the school and then meet at the lake. It’s become our spot. I love it because the lake really is shaped like a horseshoe, so when we sit out on the grassy area in the middle, we’re surrounded by water on both sides. It’s beautiful, and it sort of feels like we are on our own little island away from the rest of the world.
“Thanks for dinner,” Ash says, after polishing off his second sandwich. The boy can eat. I’m not exactly a gourmet chef, but sandwiches I can handle.
“You’re welcome. I figure since our five-month anniversary is tomorrow and we both have school and practice, it would be nice to celebrate a little early.”
“I agree.” He shimmies forward on our blanket and kisses my neck. Yup, this is exactly what I need. He pulls away much too soon and I’m about to protest, but he takes a small wrapped box from his pocket and hands it to me.
“What’s this?”
“I can’t wait until tomorrow to give it to you. Right now seems better. Happy anniversary.”
“But I don’t have your gift with me.” I got him tickets to see the minor league baseball team he likes.
“That’s okay. I can wait.”
“You sure?”
Why didn’t I think to bring his gift? The picnic is part of our celebration, so I should have the gift with me.
He kisses my cheek. “Open it. I really want you to have it now.”
I smile and tear the wrapping paper. The little black box makes my heart skip. No way. It can’t be a ring. I’m being silly. Ash wouldn’t propose. We’re in high school. Sure, we applied to the same colleges, but we aren’t ready for this. I’m not even eighteen yet.
“Something wrong?” Ash sits up a little.
“No. Just savoring the moment.” And catching my breath. I slowly lift the lid. A dark red stone shines in the fading sunlight. A garnet. My birthstone. And it’s not a ring. It’s a necklace. On each side of the garnet is a small diamond. Relief washes over me, but it’s quickly replaced with guilt. This is a huge gift. Not engagement ring huge, but still. It’s too much. “Ash.”
“You don’t like it.” His face falls.
“No, I love it. It’s beautiful, but it must have cost a fortune.”
“You really like it?” He’s looking for reassurance that he did a good job picking it out.
“Yes.” I reach for his face and kiss his lips. “I just don’t want you spending all your money on me. These are diamonds.”
“I know.” He smiles. “Don’t worry about the cost. You’re worth it.” He moves behind me and brushes my hair to the side, kissing my neck. “Let me put it on you?”
“Only if you kiss my neck like that again.” I turn my head and smile at him.
He laughs and reaches for the necklace, carefully removing it from the box and securing the chain around my neck. Once it’s in place, he lowers his lips to my neck again. The necklace is cool against my skin, but I’m on fire from Ash’s kisses. I twist around and meet his lips with mine.
“So, I did well?” Ash asks in between kisses.
“Yeah.” I pull back so I can see his face. “I love you, Ash.” After everything that’s happened, I need to say the words.
“I love you, too, Meg.” He pulls me onto his lap, and I wrap my arms around him, getting lost in his lips again. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate our anniversary.
Perfect For You Page 10
