***
Monday morning comes too soon. I’m exhausted. Ash and I stayed out past my curfew. I’m usually really good about being home by curfew because it keeps Mom and Dad from asking too many questions, but it was a special night, and I figured I could handle a little backlash. I stare at the alarm like it’s my worst enemy, but my spirits lift the second I feel the necklace around my neck. My fingers graze the three stones, bringing a smile to my face as I remember last night. It was perfect. I get ready for school and go downstairs with a huge smile on my face. Ash’s present is already in my bag. I’m going to slip it into his locker before school starts.
“You look happy this morning,” Mom says, taking a sip of coffee.
“I am.” I pour myself a glass of orange juice and gulp it down. “It’s my five-month anniversary with Ash. See what he gave me last night.” I brush my hair away from the necklace so Mom can see it. She was too sleepy to notice it last night when I got in.
She steps forward and gently lifts the necklace into her hand. “Diamonds?”
“Yup. Real diamonds.” By the way her eyes widen I can tell she was expecting me to say they weren’t real.
“That boy must really love you.”
My smile spreads across my face. Yes, he does.
“Oh.” Mom lets go of the necklace and turns back to the breakfast nook. Whenever she avoids my eyes like this, I know the conversation is going to take a turn for the embarrassing. I brace myself for a mother-daughter talk. “About last night. You were home kind of late, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, I know. Sorry. We were celebrating and lost track of time. It won’t happen again. I promise.”
She eyes me over her coffee. Oh, crap. Does she know I’m sleeping with Ash? No. She can’t know for sure. I have to keep calm. Don’t give her any signs that I have something to hide.
“Well, school calls.” I grab an apple off the counter and kiss Mom on the cheek. “See you at dinner.” I’m out the door before she can say another word. I’m so not having the sex talk with Mom. If I hear her talk about condoms, I’ll die. Besides, I already know all that stuff.
I get to school early and head straight for Ash’s locker. I quickly do the combination and slip the wrapped package inside, positioning it so it’s the first thing he’ll see when he opens his locker. Shutting the door, I smile, picturing Ash’s face when he opens it. He’ll love it, and we can go to the game together, so it’s perfect. I look up, ready to head to my own locker, but I don’t make it more than two steps.
Derrick—my Derrick—the guy who cheated on me sophomore year, is standing in the hallway, opening a locker twenty feet in front of me.
I freeze. Forget how to breathe. How can he be here? Am I imagining him? Maybe I’m still sleeping. This sure feels like a nightmare. The only thing that saved me from a complete meltdown, from folding in on myself two years ago was when he left this school, transferred out to go live with his dad after his parents’ divorce. And now, here he is. Back in my life again. Bringing all those feelings crashing to the surface.
I should run before he sees me. Duck into the bathroom or a classroom. Turn and head for the stairs. But I can’t make myself move. I’m paralyzed by the memory of him. By the hurt I still feel. He shuts the locker and turns, meeting my eyes.
“Meg?” A small laugh escapes his lips as he stares at me. He actually seems mildly happy to see me.
“What are you doing here? Why are you back?” I’m not even sure how I’m able to form words right now, but they come spilling out. My body shakes, and I must look like a total freak.
He steps toward me, smiling like he has a secret. “My parents worked things out.” He holds his hands out to the sides. “So, here I am. It’s good to see you, Meg. You look good.”
I wish I could say the same. Yes, he looks good. He always did, but it’s definitely not good to see him. “Why would your parents get back together? Your dad cheated on your mom.” It’s not hard to guess why Derrick is the way he is. He’s a mini version of his father.
“People change.”
Is he saying he’s changed? I highly doubt that. “How’s Stacy?”
“Who?”
Nope. Same Derrick. Of course he doesn’t remember the name of the girl he cheated on me with. Why would he? She was just another freshman to him. A plaything. I almost feel sorry for her. “Nice to know the girl you left me for was so memorable to you.”
He looks me up and down, taking in every inch of my body. “You know, I can’t seem to remember why we broke up. But now that I’m back, we should hang out some time.”
I’ve never wanted to hit someone so badly. The only thing stopping me is my match on Thursday. I can’t risk hurting my hand on this loser’s face. “I don’t think so. I’m much too old for you.”
“Too old?” He completely doesn’t get the dig. Is he really this dense?
“I thought you had a thing for freshmen girls.” I’m tempted to mention Liz. Her slutty little freshman self deserves getting played by someone like Derrick. Oh, what the hell. “I could introduce you to one you’d really like, if you want.”
“Setting me up? Isn’t that a little weird, considering we dated?”
“Not really. It would be pretty much—no, exactly like when we were dating. You making out with some other girl. Just try not to do it in front of my locker this time, would you?” My emotions pour out of me. There’s so much I want to say to him. So much I want him to know. Like how he hurt me. How I couldn’t trust another guy until Ash came along. How much I hate him for humiliating me. On second thought, do I want him to know all that? It wouldn’t change anything. He’s not the type of guy to learn from his mistakes or even to say he’s sorry. The only thing I’d be doing is hurting myself by opening up all those feelings.
“Were you always this feisty?” He crosses his arms and stares at me like he’s impressed.
“I don’t have time for this.” I start for my locker, but he grabs my arm.
“What’s your deal?”
Really? “Derrick, I have no desire to bring up the past, to talk to you, or to see your face.”
“Why? Because we broke up?” He holds his arms out. “We’re in high school, Meg. People break up. What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is you humiliated me. You were making out with another girl in front of my locker. You didn’t have the balls to break up with me, so you decided to do it by shoving your tongue down Stacy’s throat.”
“Stacy.” He nods, finally remembering who she is. “She still go here?”
“Oh, my God! You’re such a dick!” I step forward and smack him clear across his face.
He grabs his cheek, which is bright red. “What the hell?”
“Meg!” Ash rushes up to me, stepping between Derrick and me. I notice the roses in Ash’s hand.
“Ash, it’s okay.” I reach for his arm and tug him back.
“Did you touch her?” Ash is only concerned with Derrick right now.
“She slapped me, man. I didn’t touch her.” Derrick looks around Ash, glaring at me. “I wouldn’t touch her. She’s got major issues.”
Thanks to you, you ass! I’m about to lose it again, but Ash blocks me, getting right in Derrick’s face. “Don’t talk to her. Get the hell out of here before I shove my fist down your throat.”
Derrick scoffs, but he walks away. Ash is a lot bigger than he is, and Derrick wouldn’t be able to pick up as many girls with a black eye or a broken nose. That, and I’m not worth getting beaten up over. I’m sure that’s how he sees it. I was never worth it to him. Never good enough to be faithful to. Never worth his time.
Ash turns to me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. He didn’t touch me.”
“Who is he?”
“No one. Just a guy who used to go to school here. He’s a jerk.”
“What did he do to make you hit him?”
What didn’t he do? “It’s too long a list. Besides, it’s our anniver
sary. I really don’t want to talk about Derrick.”
“Derrick? Why do I know that name?” Ash wrinkles his brow and my chest tightens. Maybe he has heard the story. “Is he…? You used to date him, didn’t you?”
I nod, not ready to say the words out loud to Ash.
He shakes his head. “First Noah and now this. Unbelievable. Everywhere I turn, there’s another guy I have to worry about. I’m so sick of this, Meg. How do you expect me to handle this?”
I don’t know what to say, and somehow I know “happy anniversary” isn’t going to help.
Chapter Seventeen
The morning bell rings and everyone pours into the hallway. There’s no time to work this out now. Our anniversary morning wasn’t supposed to start this way. I want to wrap my arms around Ash and kiss him, start this day all over. But he turns and opens his locker. He sighs as he takes the present out and looks at me.
“This is why you were here early?”
I nod, still finding it hard to talk.
Ash hands me the roses he’s been holding, but doesn’t say anything. Then he peels the wrapping paper off his present, tossing it into his open locker. He lifts the lid on the box and pulls out the tickets.
“They’re for the end of next month, right around our six-month anniversary,” I say, hoping the gift has made some of his anger fade.
He closes his eyes and wraps one arm around me, pulling me into him. He leans his head on mine, and I want to cry. He has no idea how awful seeing Derrick was for me. I want to tell him, but this isn’t the time. There are too many people around, and I can’t talk about it without crying. Without another word, Ash walks me to class. He kisses me goodbye, but it’s a small kiss. He’s still processing things. I hate this. This isn’t at all what our anniversary is supposed to be like.
I fumble through the morning in a daze. I definitely fail my Spanish test. I forgot to study thanks to being out late last night with Ash, and I don’t have the ability to concentrate on anything right now. The only positive thing about my morning is that Derrick isn’t in any of my classes. I sort of expected the universe to throw him in my face by giving him my exact schedule. But I guess even the universe is feeling sorry for me right now. I can’t handle seeing him again. I need to keep my distance from any guy who isn’t Ash. At least until things settle down again between us.
As I’m walking into my photography elective, Liz comes out of the class. She doesn’t even notice me because she’s too busy talking to a group of her friends. “He said she’s too much work to date. He’s sick of it. So,” she drags the word out, “he’s hanging out with me tonight.” Liz and the other girls shriek and clutch onto each other like only freshmen girls do. I roll my eyes, but I’m a little relieved because she must have found some other guy to throw herself at. I wonder who he is. Poor guy. Still, better him than Ash.
It’s my turn in the dark room, which is cool with me because I don’t feel like being around a bunch of people. Grayson’s my partner so I nudge her with my elbow as I carry my stuff. “Come on. I need to talk to you, away from anyone who can overhear us.” I desperately want to tell her about Derrick. And Noah. And Ash.
She doesn’t say a word, just follows me, so the moment I shut the dark room door behind us, I launch into my story. “So Ash and Noah are totally at odds with each other, and to make Ash happy, I told Noah I can’t see him anymore—you know, as friends. But he was really hurt. He likes me. Really likes me. I feel bad, but I don’t want to lose Ash. And then this morning guess who shows up?”
She shrugs, not all that interested in hearing my problems, which isn’t like her at all. I continue anyway. “Derrick.”
That gets her attention.
“Your Derrick? He’s back?”
“Yup, and Ash saw me talking to him and freaked. I mean, he did see me slap Derrick, so he knows there’s some history there. I just don’t know how to tell him what happened. It’s so humiliating. How do I tell my boyfriend about the guy who broke my heart two years ago? I don’t like talking about it, and I know I don’t even really talk to you about it either and you’re my best friend, but I’m not over what Derrick did. I don’t know how to move past that kind of hurt.”
“Is Ash worried you still have feelings for Derrick?” Her voice is strange, more accusing than sympathetic.
“I don’t know. That’s crazy though. I hate Derrick. I’d never go there again.”
“Not even if he apologized?”
“No!” God, how can she even think that?
“Still, he’s one more guy Ash has to think about.” She shakes her head. “My project isn’t even finished. I can’t do anything in here today. I’m going back into the classroom to work on it.”
“Gray.” Is she kidding? “I’m in full crisis mode and you don’t even care. It’s my anniversary, you know.”
“Yeah, and I’m sure seeing you with Derrick was just want Ash wanted.”
Ouch. “That’s harsh, Gray. Do you think I wanted to see Derrick?”
“I don’t know anymore, Meg. I thought you loved Ash but then Noah came along and you—no.” She puts her hands up. “You know what? I’m not getting involved. This is your problem. You created this mess. You can get yourself out of it.”
“I didn’t ask for any of this.”
“You could’ve ended it all. Put a stop to it before things got out of control. But you didn’t. And you know what really sucks?”
I know better than to try to answer.
“You haven’t even called me since before tryouts.”
Is that true? No, it can’t be. Can it?
“You’ve been a sucky friend, and you don’t even care. I went home sick on Friday. Last time you were sick, I brought you soup and crackers. You…didn’t even text me to see if I was feeling better or if I needed anything.”
She’s right. I’ve been so wrapped up in everything that I forgot about her. “Gray, I’m sorry. I’ve just been a little screwed up lately. I messed up.”
“Forget it. See you later.” She storms out, letting the door slam shut.
I know she’s pissed at me for blowing her off all weekend, but she has no idea what I’ve been going through. Ending things with Noah wasn’t easy, and then Ash and I were celebrating. Good thing too, considering how sucky our actual anniversary is turning out. I give Grayson space, knowing she needs it. She’ll get over this. She has to understand that I’m in a relationship and can’t be with her all the time. Yes, I should’ve called her. That was my fault. But I did spend my summer training her so she’d make the team, and it’s not like she’s never blown me off before. Last summer she ditched me for a week when her new neighbors moved in. She spent every waking minute with the hot college guy, who, as it turns out, is gay.
By lunch, I’m itching to see Ash. We really need to talk and I want to get this whole Derrick thing out of the way so we can enjoy the rest of the day together. I’m not letting Derrick ruin this for me. He’s ruined enough already. I grab my lunch and books for my next class as quickly as possible and head to Ash’s locker to surprise him. Hopefully he’s over the Derrick incident. I want to put it behind us.
Ash isn’t at his locker. Thinking he went to mine, I head back, but I take a different route, around the English wing since I didn’t run into Ash on the way here. He could’ve gone this way instead. The hallways are set up in a bunch of square patterns. I round the corner and see Liz leaning against a set of lockers, and my heart nearly stops when I notice Ash is with her. She’s smiling, and if she sticks her chest out any more, her boobs are going to tumble right out of her microscopic top. I want to rush over there and rip her hair out, but Ash is talking to her. They’re in the middle of a conversation. On our anniversary. I thought after she threw herself at him at the last football party and then attacked me at the game, Ash wouldn’t so much as look in her direction. What is he doing?
She playfully pushes against his chest, making my insides lurch. I can’t move. For the second time today,
I’m frozen. Ash is letting Liz touch him. It might not be in front of my locker, but seeing him standing there…with her…it’s too much. Too familiar. She touches his shoulder and gives him a flirtatious wave before walking away. My stomach sinks. I could melt into the ground right now, but I force my feet to move. I need answers. I won’t let this happen to me again.
“Ash.” My voice is small, and I clench my hands to stop them from shaking. Only it doesn’t work. I’m losing it.
He jumps slightly and shoves his hands in his jeans pockets. “Meg, I was just coming to meet you.”
“Yeah, well I guess you took too much time talking to Liz.”
Ash looks down the hall where Liz is disappearing around the corner. “It’s not what you think.”
The people around us give us long glances before walking away. I don’t need an audience for this humiliation. Not again.
“What is it then? I thought you weren’t talking to her anymore. That’s what you told me. I stopped hanging out with Noah because you asked me to, but you couldn’t stay away from her. Not even after she tried to humiliate me at the game.” Did I make a huge mistake? Push the wrong guy away?
“I’m not hanging out with Liz or even really talking to her. She put a note in my locker, and I came here to tell her to knock it off.”
He didn’t seem angry with her. He didn’t even stop her from touching him. I motion to his empty hands. “Where’s the note?” If he’s telling the truth, he’d have the evidence to prove it. Instead he looks down at his sneakers.
“I threw it away. I didn’t want to hold on to it.”
“What did it say?” My throat is burning, and I know the tears are only moments away.
“Meg.” He steps toward me, reaching for my hands. I let him take them at first, but the pain inside me is growing too strong. He’s going to break my heart. Just like Derrick did. I think about what Noah said. She thinks she has a shot with him. There has to be a reason why Liz thinks she has a chance with Ash. Why is this happening to me again? I did the right thing. I sent Noah away. For Ash. And now Ash is running around with Liz behind my back? How is this fair?
Perfect For You Page 11
