Coming To Reason (A Long Road to Love)

by O'Connor, Liza

  She couldn’t believe it. The stage resembled her office the night Tall and Tiny helped her get the Europa turtles from her systems manager.

  In fact, the furniture looked suspiciously the same. Trent had found a junk dealer who agreed to carry all their old furniture away for a fee of a hundred dollars. Had the obliging ‘junk dealer’ worked for Tall and Tiny?

  She located Destiny and Dan amongst the ten workers. They must have been given parts to play, because all of the abducted workers were doing something, none of which could be classified as work.

  Destiny built a tower of paper clips and Dan polished his shoes. A young man studied a giant text book, titled Giant Text Book. Several employees slept and a romantic couple’s legs wiggled beneath a desk.

  A large woman sat at the desk loaded with supply boxes labeled Dante’s supplies, steal and die. However, the moment she rose and turned to the audience, Carrie recognized Tiny’s face beneath makeup and a wig. Given the fat woman he portrayed appeared normal size, somewhere beneath the long muumuu had to be stilts.

  Tiny walked about the room selling supplies. The couple beneath the desk bought condoms. The schoolboy bought Cheaters’ Guide to Tests. Dan bought shoe polish and Destiny bought fifty more boxes of paper clips. Tiny placed pillows under the sleepers’ heads and pulled the money from their fisted hands.

  A frightening masked creature in black appeared in the center of the office, speaking in a deep voice. “Get back to work, you slovenly beasts, or I will use your skins for my new line of leather chairs.”

  He slapped a long whip at the woman hoarding supplies. The uncurling tip missed her by a foot, but a burst of fire flew from its end and sent her soaring over a desk, exposing short hairy legs and the tallest high-heeled shoes in the world.

  “You dare steal from me? Me! The greatest being in the world, the most handsome, smartest, and kindest of all creatures. I’ll rip you apart, bone by bone, muscle by muscle, tooth by tooth.”

  Tall hissed, sending a fiery flame onto Tiny. With a puff of smoke, Tiny disappeared as if seared into oblivion. Only a pile of ash remained.

  The demon boss turned back to the other workers. “Now get to work!” None of them paid him the least bit of attention.

  Eyeing the wiggling legs of the lovers he tossed back the desk as he seared the area with his flame-thrower breath. When the smoke settled, a pile of ashes and an unraveled condom remained.

  The remaining non-sleeping workers shuffled as if a bit nervous. They knew the missing lovers had been audience participants, like them. Dan took it upon himself to move to Destiny and polish her shoes, which made everyone laugh, because Destiny wore white tennis shoes.

  Tears rolled down Carrie’s cheeks.

  Tall stormed over to Dan. “Get back to your desk!”

  “We’re team-working,” Dan declared.

  “Team-working?” Tall bellowed. “There’s no team-working down here! It’s every sewer rat for itself.” He shoved Dan closer to Destiny then reached down and somehow made all fifty boxes of clips turn into a giant mound. With a few waves of his hands, he created a cage around the two.

  “That’s what I think of team working.”

  He approached the boy reading the giant textbook. The guy’s eyes rounded with genuine fear. A huge clock on the desk rang. The face of it said, “Time for School.”

  Tall knelt so his face hovered just a bit higher than the young man’s.

  “Is it time for school?”

  The kid stared at him.

  His giant hand gripped the fellow’s scalp and turned his face to the clock on the desk. “Do you have a test to take?”

  The boy tentatively nodded.

  “An important test?”

  The boy nodded again.

  “Will you fail school if you don’t go now?”

  Now more confident to his part in this skit, he nodded and smiled.

  Tall moved behind him and spoke in his ear. “Would you rather die than miss it?”

  The boy hesitated in answering, so Tall moved the kid’s head up and down.

  Maliciously pleased with the boy’s answer, he stood and breathed in, ready to burn the boy to a crisp. Before the boy became toast, a tiny, white-feathered angel, holding a cell phone in one hand and an iPad in the other, appeared center stage, floating ten feet in the air.

  The iPad blinked the word STOP!

  Tiny, looking more like a fluffy chicken than an actual angel, fluttered and flapped his stubby wings, landing hard on his butt.

  For the next five minutes, Tiny amused the audience with his acrobatic skills as he attempted the simple task of getting up.

  Carrie groaned when Tiny began dancing seductively around Tall. She hoped Dan and Destiny never realized she and Trent had inspired this nonsense. Now mesmerized, the demon turned to the little chicken’s command and, with each turn, his face grew less hideous, until he looked like a current movie star, a really cute guy, whom she couldn’t put a name to. Eye candy, all the same.

  The improved boss strutted about, declaring himself handsome, then materialized a mirror and frowned. “Do you think my head is too small?”

  Everyone laughed, because, in fact, a normal-size head looked wrong on Tall’s seven-foot body.

  Tiny took flight and kissed him. Tall’s head expanded. Additional kisses caused it to grow further.

  Finally, Tiny noticed the surviving workers. He moved from desk to desk, resurrecting the other people by throwing sparkles on the ashes. A second later, a surprised employee smiled at Tiny. The fat chicken angel arrived at the ashes of the supply hoarder. Carrie knew the thieving employee who had tried to throw a file cabinet onto her head inspired the character.

  Instead of throwing fairy dust, Tiny stomped all over the ashes of Miss Schnell and then gave the demon-turned-actor two thumbs up. Carrie doubted anyone else got the joke, but Carrie laughed herself into hysterics. She loved having these two on her side.

  Once Tiny had resurrected all the employees except Miss Schnell, he approached Dan and Destiny in their paper clip cage. Tall interceded and tried to distract the angel by plucking her tail feathers. However, Tiny continued his efforts to get Dan and Destiny out. He climbed all over the cage, pulling at what looked to be fragile paperclips with the strength of steel.

  Frustrated, he leapt onto Tall’s back and pounded the boss of Hell’s head. The demon struggled to get the chicken off and, in the process, proved his acrobatic skills as well. During a great deal of this scene, Tall and Tiny flew through the air with no apparent wires, but logic insisted they existed. Or perhaps Tall and Tiny could fly—a possibility Carrie wouldn’t rule out.

  She wondered if the mechanizations that enabled them to fly were visible from Dan’s seat on the stage, but by his bewildered stare, she didn’t think so.

  Eventually, the chicken won the battle, but at the cost of most her feathers and significant weight loss. She now had an hourglass figure in a sparkling evening gown. She-Tiny ambled to the cage, reached through, and held out her hands. When Dan and Destiny took the offered silk-gloved hands, the paper clip cage fell apart with the tiny slivers of aluminum showering the floor.

  Tiny then gathered all the employees into a tight group, tugging and pushing them when they didn’t wish to move closer to one another. Then she grabbed her iPad and held it up for the defeated boss to read.

  His eyes rounded and then he bellowed, “Teamwork? Never!” He crumpled as if in pain.

  The angel moved towards him, but he rose, once again the disfigured demon, and sent a blast of fire from his mouth twenty feet across the stage, obliterating all the employees in a cloud of smoke.

  The angel ran to the dust pile, displaying her pain in fabulous mime. The slow change of mood from grief to fury had the whole audience laughing. It ended with a mimed plead to God and a huge bolt of lightning exploding down upon Tall, scaring the crap out of the entire audience.

  Carrie must have jumped a foot out of her chair. Once she recovered, total
darkness blanketed the audience. Nervous titters sounded through the auditorium.

  She almost screamed when a hand touched her arm, but a sense of peace and safety flowed from the familiar hand. Dan and Destiny had returned to their seats. She placed her hand over Dan’s, glad to have him beside her. A moment later, the auditorium lights came up, indicating intermission.

  Destiny escaped her chair and hugged Carrie. “I thought it far more frightening, yet wonderful, than any ride I’ve ever been on! I can’t wait to see the show on video.”

  Dan kissed his daughter’s head and nodded in agreement.

  “Video?” Carrie asked.

  “They promised us a DVD of today’s performance so we could see what it looked like from the audience,” Destiny said.

  Dan chuckled. “I think they made the offer so the people would play their part rather than gawk at all the stuff going on.” He lowered his voice. “You can add engineering geniuses to their many skills.”

  ***

  During the second act, Tiny offered Carrie a giant engagement ring and suffered a broken heart when she refused. He blamed Dan for his disappointment and threw what appeared to be water on him, only it had somehow transformed into soft blue sponge balls. Destiny pocketed one to keep as a souvenir.

  Discovering a ball missing, Tiny insisted upon frisking all three of them. Somehow, he found a rubber duck, a bowling ball, and a bat on Carrie. While achieving this amazing feat, he placed a slip of paper in her hand.

  From Dan, he pulled a naked Barbie doll, which caused him to shake his head in disgust, a lady’s shoe, and a machete. From Destiny, he pulled seven bouquets of flowers and, finally, the blue sponge ball.

  Her pout at losing her souvenir broke his heart and, in mime, he offered her any one of the eight items he’d taken.

  She chose the ball.

  He kept trying to get her to take a bouquet, but she insisted on her first choice. Then he offered her his giant engagement ring, taking a moment first to mime-apologize to Carrie, reminding her he’d asked her first, but she’d refused. Life must go on, and he had a heart and needed love, too.

  All of this conveyed in perfect mime.

  When he turned to Destiny for her answer, she handed him the sponge ball and took the engagement ring.

  He twirled in happiness and placed it on her head, then threw the bouquets to various ladies in the audience. Holding the ball, he offered it to Carrie.

  She placed a kiss on it.

  The audience applauded with their own love for Tiny.

  They ended the show with the fishing tale in which a giant whale swimming above the audience ate Tiny. Tall mourned his loss until the little guy returned through an impossibly small bucket on stage.

  Once they were reunited, Tall faced the audience. “Never take friends for granted. They are a gift from God.”

  Two beams of light closed in on their faces as the stage dimmed. Then in unison, they disappeared.

  The crowd demanded fifteen curtain calls. Tiny got them to stop by making all the abducted employees come up and take a bow while Tall and Tiny sat in Dan and Destiny’s seats.

  Tall leaned over to Carrie. “Did you read Tiny’s message?”

  “Definite yes for me, but I haven’t asked Dan and Destiny.”

  “She’s his daughter, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “You two are a much better match. Glad you escaped the demon unharmed. But, he wasn’t a total waste. He inspired Tiny to write our best show yet.”

  His words shocked her. “Trent and I are still dating.”

  Tall’s eyes rounded in either shock or horror.

  “Seriously?”

  What had him so upset? Then she realized. Trent would not be amused in the least at being personified as a demon. “Don’t worry, I will never mention your new skit. To be honest, he’s been rather demonic lately.”

  “Stay here and someone will lead you backstage,” he said before he bounded onto the stage where Tiny performed very nice pirouettes.

  Tall snared him by his belt and carried him off like a briefcase, both men waving goodbye.

  Dan and Destiny returned and Carrie told them about their invitation to dinner. Both smiled at the news.

  “I’ll need to call Giuseppe’s and cancel,” Dan said. “Unless you think they might like to go there.”

  “I think they’d love it, but will Giuseppe mind Tiny? He behaves like you saw him on stage 24/7.”

  “My friend loves to laugh.”

  A clearing of a throat brought their attention to the black-suited manager. “If you will follow me, I’ll take you backstage.”

  When they entered the dressing room, Tiny tugged at his wet hair as if it fought for possession of the brush. Destiny went to his rescue. “Here, let your fiancée help.”

  He handed her the brush, but, the first time she attempted to use it, he flew backwards and rolled across the floor.

  Horrified, she ran to him.

  Tall came out of the bathroom dressed in slacks and a tweed jacket. “Andy, the floor isn’t clean.” He walked to Dan. I’m Hamon, the rug is Andy. I gather you two have signed on for dinner with us?”

  Dan shook his hand. “We’re honored.”

  “This is his typical behavior, so can you suggest a restaurant we won’t be tossed from?”

  “Let me make a call.” Dan pulled out his cell phone and hit a speed dial number. “Giuseppe, there’s going to be five of us. Can we have the balcony?” He looked up at Tall. “How soon will you be ready to leave?”

  Tiny popped up. “Now.”

  “We’ll be there in five… Better make it three, my guests look hungry.”

  Chapter 14

  Everyone in Giuseppe’s stared in shock as Tall and Tiny entered the restaurant.

  Giuseppe’s son led them through the kitchen to the balcony. In an attempt to prevent Tiny from causing too much trouble, Carrie held onto his right hand and, with expressive eye movements, got Destiny to snare his left.

  Instead of being outraged, Tiny preened as he pranced through the restaurant with his female escorts. Carrie mentally high-fived herself for her clever containment. Tall followed in their wake.

  When they arrived at the long table set up on the balcony, she released Tiny’s hand. A second later, the mischievous prankster set a plate of her favorite appetizers on the table.

  Giuseppe’s wife’s eyes rounded. “How?” She turned around, looking for some rational explanation.

  Tall sat down. “I apologize, but Tiny picked them up as we walked through the kitchen. He thought you had prepared them for us.”

  The woman laughed. “We had, but—”

  “Carrie and I held his hands!” Destiny objected.

  Tall opened his mouth, paused, then replied. “Yet, he managed.”

  Tiny began a self-examination. His arms moved in and out of his jacket, giving the impression he had at least a dozen hands hiding within.

  “Oh, you are delightful,” Giuseppe’s wife declared, pulling Tiny into her big-bosomed chest. He stopped wiggling the moment his head rested on her soft pillows. His eyes closed, and he quieted.

  Carrie recalled him telling her about the day the doctors told his parents he’d never be taller than four feet. They put him on a train by himself, promising to follow, but they never did. Instead, an eight-year-old Tiny had to fend for himself on the harsh streets of London. The sensation of motherly love must have mesmerized him.

  Dan cleared his throat as a warning, but of what? The next moment, Giuseppe arrived at the table bearing additional appetizers. “I made three, but one is—”

  He stopped, stared at the plate, already half-empty, and then glared at his wife cuddling Tiny. He spoke in rapid Italian, so Carrie hadn’t a clue what he said, but from the annoyance in his tone, she suspected he filed a complaint something like ‘stop mauling our patrons and the next time you take a platter, let someone know’.

  His wife released Tiny and stood, responding in angry foreig
n words before she stormed up the balcony stairs. With dramatic posturing, Giuseppe stared up at the sky and had another conversation, which sounded like he held God responsible for the whole mess.

  Their outburst shocked Carrie, but unlike during Trent’s meltdowns, she didn’t sense any true anger from either of them, just a great deal of exuberant emotion.

  Tall turned his head so his smile wouldn’t be noticed. She suspected he understood Italian. Once Giuseppe left, Carrie decided to confirm her theory. “When you perform in other countries, do you speak English or the local language?”

  “The local language if I speak it well enough. In the Netherlands, the audience seems happier if I speak English.”

  “How many languages do you know?”

  Most of the European block, Russian, Japanese, and two African languages. We spent several months in South Africa two years ago.”

  “Until they kicked us out,” Tiny complained.

  Tall grimaced. “Tiny assaulted a guy who claimed he’d never seen a white pigmy before. The jerk happened to be the president’s son. Authorities arrested Tiny and closed down our show for cultural indecency. I feared someone would kill my partner before the English ambassador could get him released.”

  Tiny jutted his chest out in pride. “I took the racist out in less than five seconds. He didn’t realize I had begun the attack when I did a hand stand on the bar. Then I landed a hard kick to his head. The pig hit the ground a second later.”

  “Wouldn’t the son of the president be black?” Destiny challenged.

  Tiny snorted. “Yes, but he held all pygmies, whites, and little people in contempt. So he deserves the title of racist.”

  Destiny chuckled. “I’ll bet he’ll stand back when he insults little people in the future.” She gripped Tiny’s arm. “You have the most muscular arms, if this is your arm. I’m no longer sure what’s real or not when dealing with you. I could have sworn I held your hand.”

  A mischievous smile lit his face. “No. Carrie had hold of me, but I gave you a fake hand to hold.