Coming To Reason (A Long Road to Love)

by O'Connor, Liza

To discover his sexy bedroom eyes didn’t shine solely for her, but took in everyone, felt like a stab to her heart. All his sultry gazes didn’t mean a damn thing. Which meant what?

  She’d never doubted his love until now. No…she had doubted him, several times, but he always convinced her, with eyes full of love, that he adored her as much as she did him. But seeing the same adoration bestowed on Jon’s wife and all those horrible salesgirls, she had to face the reality. He might not love her at all.

  Unable to bear looking at Trent seducing all these women, she turned the page, hoping for something to lessen the horror. Perhaps a picture of him yawning as a salesgirl humped his leg.

  Instead, she stared at a full-page spread of Trent and Coco posing happily for the camera. This had to be old stock, but still, he stared at the bitch with loving eyes. He’d told her he’d hated Coco. This picture said otherwise.

  Then she read the caption beneath the photo and her world collapsed like a deck of cards.

  Trent Lancaster and Coco Tyson enjoyed their belated engagement party on Saturday to celebrate promises made three months ago.

  Coco… He intended to marry Coco? And, by his smile, he looked forward to the event.

  She would have refused to believe it if Dan had not assured her he’d verified all the claims made in the article.

  She closed her eyes, trying to make sense of this. Trent proposed to me three months ago! While she said yes, she’d asked for a long engagement, because his Jekyll and Hyde personality continued to worry her.

  And for good reason! Mr. Hyde had been seducing everyone he knew and promised himself to Coco the same month Dr. Jekyll gave her a ring.

  Coco, a woman he claimed to detest.

  Dear God, when did he have time to romance, much less become engaged again to a woman he hated? Did he play some sick game called How Many Lives Can I Devastate in a Single Month?

  It made no sense at all.

  She returned to the other pictures. All proved Trent had regressed to some horrible Don Juan of the worst kind. She counted thirty pictures of him seducing infatuated, beautiful woman, and not one shot of Trent and her.

  Unable to endure anymore pictures, she turned the page and began to read. Some paragraphs she had to read several times before she could even make sense of the words.

  He had broken up Jon and Patty’s marriage. Patty now lived in New Jersey, one town over from Carrie, in a house Trent bought her. She stared at a picture of the house, a mansion in Mountain Lakes.

  What about Jon’s children? All those sweet little boys would grow up without their father because of Trent. And after this article, they would be tormented at school. Their lives would be damaged forever.

  And poor Jon. He tried to help Trent become a normal person, and, as his reward, he got his life ripped to pieces.

  She made a note to locate Jon. She needed to make sure he survived the travesty.

  According to the article, Carrie had left Lancaster Chairs when she learned of Trent and Coco’s engagement.

  The more she read, the less she hurt. Her entire body numbed. She relived her childhood. Her parents would pretend to love her, but their actions always said different. They only wanted people to think well of them.

  Her college boyfriend had often told her he loved her, but his letter, left on her bed, assured her otherwise. She’d been a convenience, nothing more.

  She continued to read the article, her heart deadened, safe from further blows.

  Angela claimed the Lancaster Chairs female sales staff was little more than prostitutes on salary.

  She stopped reading and wrote another note to check on her friend Jenny, whom Trent had hired as a salesgirl. She could believe the other women would exchange sex for a contract—which is no doubt why the clients called them Trent’s harem. But not her friend.

  Jenny didn’t show up in any of Trent’s romantic shots. Carrie would call her tomorrow and see if she wanted to leave Lancaster Chairs. And if Trent didn’t like Carrie poaching his staff, he could complain to his new fiancée. Maybe she’d give a damn, because Carrie sure as hell didn’t.

  By the time she’d finished the four-page story, her brain had become anesthetized. The world could have blown up around her and she wouldn’t have even flinched. She felt like Spock, without those debilitating encumbrances called feelings.

  She stared at the iPad. What else did she need to do?

  Heaviness weighted her left hand.

  Ah…return Trent’s engagement ring.

  Someone knocked on her door, but she ignored them.

  What else? Surely, when her entire world fell apart, she should have more than three things to do.

  She could write a letter to the editor complaining Angela got the facts wrong. After all, Carrie had not left Trent after discovering his engagement to Coco. No, she had remained stupid and gullible, even up to this morning, thinking her and Trent a happy couple.

  And by writing such a complaint, she’d be like those people singing off key on American Idol.

  The article had dismissed her as insignificant, as if she had meant nothing to Trent.

  A shard of pain broke through the numbness.

  Was it true? Had the great love of her life been nothing but a delusion, a minor moment in Trent’s egocentric world?

  The possibility almost brought her to tears.

  Spock. Channel Spock!

  She sucked in a deep breath and re-numbified herself.

  Who could answer her question? Mars might know, but his job would prevent him from telling her.

  Sam might be able to, but he wanted nothing more to do with her.

  She steadied herself and called Trent.

  “What?” he yelled.

  “Did I ever mean anything to you?”

  Silence answered her question. She hovered her thumb over the end-call button, tempted to preserve her last ounce of dignity. Just do it. End this debacle. Then he spoke.

  “I’ll call you with the answer in a half-hour.”

  The line went dead.

  Her attempt to get answers only made her feel worse.

  Now what?

  She glanced at her short list and called Mars’ private number.

  “Mars, here.”

  “Hi, it’s Carrie.”

  “How are you?” The sympathy in his voice almost broke through her numbness.

  “A bit bewildered at the moment. Trying to make sense of my world. Would you by chance have Jon Javit’s phone number or address?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  As she waited, she realized why so many off-key people humiliated themselves. Their friends no doubt tried to tell them they couldn’t sing, but they wouldn’t listen.

  How many times had she corrected people ‘in the know’ who thought she and Trent had broken up? She never once considered the possibility they might be speaking from Reality, while she stood in Delusionland.

  When her last boyfriend ended their relationship, at least he had the decency to leave her a letter on the bed. Trent couldn’t be bothered. He allowed her to keep singing her song of love, even when everyone knew it a lie. Everyone, but her.

  Mars returned with both an address and number.

  “Thanks.” She wrote the address in her tablet. “Sorry I kept scolding you for thinking Trent and I had broken up. You must have thought me the stupidest person on earth.” Again, pain pressed against her chest.

  “I’ve never thought you anything but the finest woman of my acquaintance. If you misunderstood the situation, then Master Trent purposely misled you. And there is no excuse for such behavior.”

  “Do you have any suggestions on how I should send the ring back to Trent?”

  “If it were genuine, I would suggest you hock it.”

  “It is real. It’s a family heirloom.”

  “I am aware of the ring’s heritage. However, I am also aware the authentic version resides in Miss Coco’s possession.”

  She turned to the photo of Trent and th
e she-bitch. Sure enough, the rock on her finger looked exactly like Carrie’s.

  He’d given her a fake token of their love. “Why would he do this?”

  “I cannot fathom what possesses Master Trent to do anything these days.”

  God! Everything about our relationship was a lie.

  Spock! She breathed in and pushed the pain away, so she could at least end this conversation with dignity.

  “This may be the last time we speak. Let me assure you, I will always think of you as my friend, and I’m so sorry I fed you a narcotic turtle.” And the tears flowed. She could numb herself to Trent’s inconceivable deceits, but not to losing a friend.

  “You may call me as often as you like, Carrie. I would take great pleasure in hearing from you. To be honest, I need to know you will get beyond this debacle and thrive in life. So do not lose your old friend’s number.”

  His kind words stopped her waterworks. “You’re not old, Mars.”

  “All butlers are ancient. It comes with the job.”

  “Maybe other butlers are, but not you. I’ll have to call and make sure you remember your real age on a frequent basis.”

  “I would greatly appreciate it.”

  “Thank you for saving me from a heartbreaking good-bye. Instead, I’ll talk to you soon.”

  Once she hung up, a faint happiness stirred in all her numbness. Mars still wanted to be her friend. She remembered how Sam had dumped her as a friend the moment Trent did. Only she’d been too stupid to know she’d been dumped by Trent.

  Her cell phone rang. Trent.

  She re-numbed herself and answered the phone.

  His angry voice barked in her ear. “I’m downstairs, in my limo. We can talk in the car.”

  Before she could reply, he’d hung up.

  His offer to meet her face to face surprised her, but then she didn’t have Tiny’s knockout skills. Good thing because right now, she might kill Trent.

  She locked her office and took a side hall to the lobby, escaping without either Dan or Destiny seeing her. They would insist she not go, and they would have logic on their side, but she had to do this. She had to look Trent in his eyes and understand how she could have been so wrong about him.

  ***

  Sam didn’t bother to open the door for her, and Trent wouldn’t think of doing such a thing, so she opened the car door herself and took the backward seat facing him. The moment she got in, the car moved.

  “Hold on. I didn’t agree to go anywhere with you.”

  Trent rubbed his eyes with his palms. “I gather you’ve read the article.”

  Anger fueled her response. “If I hadn’t, did you plan to continue our farce of an engagement? Does my stupidity amuse you?”

  His head popped up and his anguished gaze met hers. “No! I’ve been in hell for three months. You are the only good thing in my fucking, miserable life. I deceived you because I couldn’t let you go.”

  Damn it all. His misery still pulled at her heart. Even now, when by all rights she should hate him, a part of her wanted to ease his pain. She shouldn’t have met him. She needed time for her delusional love to die.

  She remained quiet as she fought her softening feelings. It’s habit! You’ve been doing everything for this jerk for years. He never loved you. The images of his loving gaze on all those women, even Coco, flooded her mind and gave her strength.

  “If you wanted to keep me, Trent, you shouldn’t have become engaged to Coco. You know how much I hate her. Now…one or two of your other twenty-three women I might have been able to overlook, but not Coco, not Patty, and not the whole damn sales force!”

  “I did it to get rid of the bitch,” he growled. “But she is determined to marry me this time.”

  “So you used all those other women to exorcise Coco?”

  “Yes.” He leaned back, as if relieved she understood his actions now.

  She did, and it sickened her. “And you led me to believe we remained engaged because you wanted me on the hook in case Coco broke off her engagement?”

  “Yes!” His eyes showed a hint of hope now.

  “And we would live happily ever after: Prince Charming and his clueless, stupid wife.”

  The hope died and he covered his face, unable to meet her gaze. “You’re far from stupid, Carrie. You loved and trusted me with your whole heart. It’s why I could deceive you.”

  For him to say it aloud only made it more horrible. She couldn’t even pretend he didn’t know what he had done. He had purposely betrayed her. He didn’t give a damn about anyone but himself. God! He ranked lower than her parents.

  She leaned forward. “So, you used my love to perpetrate a deception you knew would damn near kill me when I discovered the truth.” A surge of anger hit her hard. Needing a physical action, she yanked the fake ring from her finger and flung it at him, hitting him in the chest.

  His eyes flared with outrage. “I did this for you. For us.”

  She regretted she hadn’t aimed at his face. “You didn’t do anything for me! You did it because you’re a cowardly child. You didn’t have the decency to put down one toy before you picked up another.”

  Placing the ring in his vest pocket, he rubbed his chest as a sulky pout formed on his face. “All I’ve ever wanted was you.”

  “You had me!” Tears of anger and outrage flowed down her cheeks. “You had me, heart and soul, and still you picked up Coco!”

  “I had no choice,” he yelled in return. “She’s pregnant and refuses to abort the child. And if you think Coco’s formidable, you should meet her father. He assured me he would lay waste to everything I loved if I let his grandson be born out of wedlock.”

  Trent leaned forward and gripped Carrie’s fisted hands. “He would have come after you. He would have destroyed everything good in your life. There would have been no place on this planet we could have escaped his wrath. I had no choice, no other way to save you from harm.”

  His words baffled, angered, and hurt her. Was this another of his outrageous lies? She studied his anguished face. God help her, she believed him.

  She moved to his seat and he pulled her into his arms, holding her tight.

  “Forgive me,” he whispered. “I should have told you, but I didn’t think even you could be so generous.”

  He covered her face with kisses as numbness returned to her body and her brain desperately tried to take control.

  When her brain kicked in, she pushed him back. “Wait. Why didn’t you have a DNA test done to prove the child isn’t yours?”

  The guilt in his eyes moved her back to the other seat. The son of a bitch! “It is your child. Which means, even as you claimed you hated Coco, you had sex with her.” Proving, once again, their whole relationship had been a giant lie on his part.

  “You were on the West Coast,” he muttered, as if her absence made this her fault.

  “You sent me there.”

  “You could have refused.”

  His inability to take blame infuriated her. “And you could have left me in my job as your EA and then I would not have needed to be trained for my new job.”

  He leaned back and stared at the limo’s skylight. “Who cares whose fault it is? It’s water under a fucking bridge, long gone.” He sat up, his fingers caressing her knee. “We can still make a future together.”

  A future? Did he think she’d ever trust him again? Not even she would fall to this new level of gullibility. “Your life seems clear cut. You’re marrying Coco and will soon have a child with some of the worst genes imaginable, God help the poor thing.”

  He shifted to her seat. “Her father is not totally unreasonable. I’m allowed a mistress, which is why I bought Patty a house five minutes away from Denver. When I go visit her, I can slip over to see you.”

  “That’s the future you see for us? I’m to be your secondary mistress?” Dear God, did he think her so pathetic and desperate she would settle for so little?

  “You’ll always be first in my heart.” He
leaned in to kiss her, but she dodged his lips and pushed him away.

  “Sorry, but I deserve better.” She finally got it. Trent really did see her as his toy, one which he could leave out in the rain, drag through the mud, and throw to the side while he played with other toys, but would always be there when he got bored and wanted to drag it through the mud again.

  He gripped her hand. “You do deserve better, but it’s all I can offer. Over time, I think we can carve out a happy life.”

  A happy life as one of his many mistresses? Why had she ever fallen for this horrible, self-centered tyrant? It’s not like he was the only man out there.

  The image of a very good, rational, and loving man came to mind. Dan, always there to help her, to make her life better, to ensure she ate. Why hadn’t she left Trent before now? Why had she put his happiness before her own, over and over again? She opened her mouth to tell him they were through, but he spoke first.

  “Maybe you can take Patty’s newest boy, and we can raise him as our own.”

  His suggestion offended her in so many ways she struggled to reply. “Trent, you’ve lost your mind.”

  “Over you.” He gripped the back of her head so she couldn’t dodge his kiss.

  She felt nothing but disgust as his mouth pressed to hers. When he pulled at her slacks, ripping at the zipper, her disgust turned to panic and she fought with all her might. She was not his damn toy anymore. She was not his anything!

  “Get off me,” she shoved against his chest. Even now, he focused only on what he wanted. Her feelings meant nothing. She pounded against him, but with little effect. His mouth covering hers muffled her protests.

  Dear God! Her nightmare of a relationship would end in a rape.

  She doubled her efforts and for a moment screamed full force. The car jerked to the left, causing Trent to fall to the floorboard.

  Before he recovered enough to attack her again, the back door opened. Sam grabbed him by his jacket and yanked him from the car then slammed the door shut. A few seconds later, Sam entered the driver’s side and pulled away, leaving Trent the rapist behind.

  Traumatized and numb, Carrie studied her pants. The button hung looser than it had before the assault and the zipper had a missing tooth near the top but, with a little effort, she put herself to rights.