In It Together

by Jade Winters

  A voice from behind Erin startled her. ‘Hey, glad you all came.’ Cara drew up beside them, a warm, welcoming smile on her face. Erin noticed she was the only one Cara avoided eye contact with. She sighed softly, saddened that Cara was still upset with her.

  The four of them stood in an uncomfortable silence. Erin was the first to speak.

  ‘Looks like a good turnout,’ she said, glancing around.

  For the first time, Cara met her eyes evenly. ‘Yeah, Maddie put in a lot of effort to help spread the word.’

  And what else is she putting a lot of effort into? Trying to rekindle your relationship? ‘Oh, that’s nice of her.’

  ‘You’ve done yourself proud, Cara.’ Matt beamed.

  Claudia’s eyes were so sharp and penetrating it was almost intimidating. Erin wondered if Cara had noticed. If she did, she didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest.

  ‘Thanks, Matt. I’ve got you to thank for pointing me in the right direction with this place.’

  Matt’s smile widened. The sound of club music thumped and throbbed through the modern venue, drowning out any hope of further conversation.

  ‘I’ll catch you guys later,’ Cara said, raising her voice.

  Erin watched her disappear into the jostling party-goers. She was surprised that, in addition to the somewhat geriatric crowd, there was a strong presence of edgy and youthful guests who looked like they’d been bussed in from London for the opening. She had never seen such a mixture of people in all her life.

  The coffee shop had been transformed into a bar for the evening with the adjoining bookshop a makeshift dance floor with DJ. Incredible works of modern art from paintings to sculpture to collage and more adorned the coffee shop’s walls, giving the time-honoured décor an engagingly updated appeal. Erin was captivated by the beauty and expression of the pieces, working hard to keep her mouth from falling open in appreciation.

  ‘This is amazing!’ she exclaimed, getting right next to Matt’s ear so he could hear her above the music.

  ‘Yeah, fantastic,’ Claudia agreed, with less enthusiasm.

  ‘You’ve got no class.’ Matt laughed.

  Claudia looked at Matt with narrowed eyes. ‘Yeah, like you have a great understanding of the arts.’

  ‘I do actually. I got an A in art at school.’

  Claudia rolled her eyes and snared some canapés and flutes of champagne from a uniformed waiter who flirted shamelessly with Matt, leaving Erin giggling and Claudia fuming.

  When Erin caught sight of Cara standing alone at the entrance of the shop she excused herself and strolled over to her.

  Cara flushed slightly when she turned around and met Erin’s gaze.

  ‘It really is amazing what you’ve done with the place,’ Erin said, ‘I can’t believe this is the same old tired book shop we came to just weeks ago.

  ‘I know. So much has happened since then.’ Cara’s voice was neutral, her expression unreadable. ‘If Maddie didn’t have my back, I don’t think I would have been able to get it finished.’

  Erin felt a rush of humiliation. She had put her emotional baggage on Cara’s shoulders at a time when she should have been supporting her – loving her. Instead she had let it fall to Maddie, the woman who had betrayed Cara. Standing there with Cara now, she realised how stupid she had been to think Cara could have had anything to do with those letters. Not a day had gone by since Cara left that Erin hadn’t thought of her, missed her, wondered how she was, where she was. Now this, seeing her here, looking as beautiful as she always did, was shaking her to her very foundation.

  ‘It should have been me, Cara. I’m sorry I accused you of something so–’ Erin was interrupted by a frantic Matt before she could carry on.

  ‘Oh my God, Erin.’ Matt pulled her to him and spoke in an indignant tone that only Erin and Cara could hear. ‘Some guy just asked me to dance.’

  Erin turned to face him. Noting his flushed face, she said, ‘Well, you are gorgeous and all.’

  Cara laughed. ‘Matt, I wouldn’t take it too personally. This coffee shop is aimed at the gay community. I thought Cumbria could do with a bit of a shake-up.’

  Matt took a deep breath. So deep that both women could see the inhale and exhale in his broad chest. ‘Well, I wish someone had told me. For a minute I thought he knew something about me I didn’t.’ His gaze turned on the women in the room. ‘Are you saying that all of these women are…?’

  ‘No, not all. Some are, though. Have you got a problem with it?’ Cara asked innocently.

  Matt looked subdued for a moment. ‘No, no of course not. I just thought someone would have told me.’

  ‘Why? What difference does it make? Customers are coming in to drink coffee, not make out.’

  Matt stared at her for a second then said, hastily, ‘I’m going to get another drink. Anyone else?’ Both women shook their heads and watched as he wandered hesitantly into the jovial crowd.

  ‘Do you think that was a bit mean? Not telling him, I mean,’ Erin asked.

  Cara gave her a quick, impatient look. A look that said she no longer found Erin’s protective nature over her brother as touching or charming.

  ‘Erin, when are you going to stop trying to protect him? He’s a grown man. Things outside of his comfort zone exist in the world. If I’d had my way, I would have told him that I’m gay ages ago and he would just have to deal with it.’

  Erin dropped her gaze to her glass. She knew Cara was right, but Matt had led a sheltered life. Everything was given to him on a plate – it had been since childhood. He was the golden boy and had grown into the golden man that everyone sought after. He wasn’t used to being turned down. So she could only imagine how he would feel if he found out Cara didn’t want him because she was into women – and his sister, at that. Erin stole a glance in Matt’s direction and her jaw dropped when she saw him in deep conversation with Maddie.

  ‘Cara, please tell me you warned Maddie about talking to Matt about us.’

  Cara followed her gaze. ‘Of course I did. Look will you stop being so uptight and relax.’ She raised her brows. ‘You haven’t had any more letters, have you?’

  Erin shook her head quickly. ‘Not yet.’

  ‘Well there you go. It was most probably a prank, like I told you.’

  ‘Cara, I don’t think it’s over. The person is still out there.’ She reached out and touched her arm. ‘I’m more concerned about us at the moment. Can you ever forgive me for accusing you – ’

  Cara smiled. ‘I’ve already forgotten about it. I kept meaning to text you, but I didn’t know what to say. Nothing sounds right in text talk.’

  Erin resisted the urge to brush back a lock of hair that fell over Cara’s eye. Instead, she took a long sip of her wine then turned her attention toward a stunning, backlit display of multi-coloured glass jellyfish suspended in mid-air, looking as though they were actually floating.

  Erin nodded towards the display. ‘Its beauty pales beside yours,’ she said softly.

  Crimson patches appeared on Cara’s cheeks. She laughed as she said, ‘If you’re trying to butter me up it’s working big time.’

  ‘I’m surprised you haven’t legged it back to London by now.’

  ‘Why would I do that when everything I want is here?’

  Erin leant towards her. ‘I want to kiss you so badly.’

  ‘That can be quite easily arranged.’ Cara took the glass from Erin’s unsteady fingers and said, ‘Follow me.’

  Erin followed Cara as she weaved her way in and out of the party-goers and through a door at the back.

  ‘Where are we going?’ Erin asked, laughing as Cara pulled her along behind her.

  ‘In here.’ Cara pushed a door open and pulled Erin into her office. Immediately she swept her into an embrace that left Erin trembling with emotion.

  Erin drew back for a breath. ‘I’m scared that this is all going to end badly, Cara. That I’m going to lose you forever.’

  ‘Never,’ Cara breathe
d against her mouth. ‘We’re in it together Erin. For now and always. Nothing will ever come between us again.’

  Erin suddenly felt coldness rush through every vein in her body. Cara stepped back and rubbed the side of Erin’s arm with her hand.

  ‘What’s wrong? You’re shaking like a leaf…let’s get you some air.’ Cara wrapped her arm around Erin’s and guided her through a set of double glazed doors that led to an enclosed courtyard. Once outside Cara directed her to a bench situated under a willow tree.

  Erin rested her elbows on her knees and buried her face in her hands. It was time to come clean about Maddie. ‘I don’t want to keep secrets between us, Cara,’ she started slowly.

  Cara rubbed Erin’s back affectionately. ‘If it’s about Claudia’s pregnancy, don’t worry; I already know.’

  Erin snapped her head up and turned to look at Cara with widened eyes. ‘You do? But how?’

  ‘Matt dropped by to give me the news first-hand. He didn’t want me hearing it from anyone else.’

  ‘I’m so sorry, Cara. I so wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how it would make you feel. I didn’t want to–’ Erin wrung her hands in frustration. She couldn’t imagine how Cara must have felt. The father of her deceased baby telling her he was having another child. It was heart-breaking all round.

  Cara reached out and stroked her face. Her fingers were cool and smooth. ‘Shhh, it’s alright. It was just a shock that’s all. I realise that Matt’s going to have a family one day. I just wasn’t prepared when he told me.’ She smiled reassuringly at Erin. ‘It’s not a problem, I promise.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  There was something almost wistful in Cara’s expression. ‘Yes. I’ll always feel a sense of sadness over my loss on anniversaries, or when I see new-born babies, toddlers – they all serve as reminders of what I lost. But you know how I look at it. My baby was a part of me for eight months. We were together as one. She existed in my lifetime and I felt her moving inside of me, growing.’ Tears trembled on Cara’s lashes. ‘And nothing can take that away from me.’

  Erin sat in silence, watching Cara’s eyes flicker as she relived her tragic past.

  ‘Anyway, enough of my woes.’ Cara gave her a puzzled smile. ‘That wasn’t what you wanted to tell me, was it?’

  Erin braced herself. The one thing that worried her more than anything was that when she told Cara about Maddie, there was a chance that Cara would go and confront her straight away. Which was exactly what Erin didn’t want. Matt would bear witness to everything and all of their dirty laundry would be aired out in public.

  ‘No, but if I tell you you’ve got to promise me something first.’

  ‘Anything.’ Cara inched closer to her.

  ‘It’s about Maddie.’

  Cara tilted back her head as she laughed. ‘Please don’t say another word. Believe me when I tell you there is nothing to worry about wherever that woman is concerned. The sooner she goes back to London, the happier I’ll be.’

  Erin combed back her hair with both hands and let out a regretful sigh. ‘Cara, Maddie came to my flat,’ she began slowly.

  Cara flinched as if Erin had struck her. She leant back slightly, looking at her in disbelief. ‘To your flat? What on earth for?’

  ‘To tell me if I didn’t stay away from you she was going to tell Matt about our past.’

  Cara leapt to her feet. ‘Are you serious? That bitch said that to you?’

  Erin nodded her head.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me before?’

  Erin suddenly felt as if Cara was somehow blaming her for Maddie’s deceit. She could see the anger blazing in Cara’s eyes and immediately regretted telling her. She didn’t need a hot-headed Cara right now, she needed the level-headed one that was capable of shining a light on the solution.

  Erin turned away, suddenly feeling ashamed that she hadn’t been straight with Cara from the beginning. She clenched her fists together nervously. ‘I was scared.’

  ‘If that’s the case, why are you telling me now?’ Cara narrowed her eyes. ‘Has she done something else?’

  Erin looked up. ‘No, no. I’m telling you now because I’ve made a decision.’

  ‘Are you going to tell Matt?’

  ‘No. Believe me I thought about it, but…’ Erin tried to explain. ‘I just can’t bring myself to tell him about us, I just can’t. I know I’m a coward. But with the baby and everything… He’s going to need me. I’ll be no good to him if he hates me and cuts contact.’

  ‘So, what then?’ Cara asked, a note of impatience seeping into her tone.

  ‘I was thinking about us…leaving – like you said. Just pack up and go somewhere where nobody knows us. Where we can start afresh. Get away from the sicko that’s blackmailing me.’

  Cara regarded her with sombre curiosity. ‘But you just said Maddie was the one who was blackmailing you.’

  ‘No, I said she blackmailed me to my face. I don’t think she was the one who sent the letter.’

  Cara looked puzzled. ‘But how can you be sure?’

  Erin shrugged. ‘I know I don’t know her very well, but Maddie doesn’t strike me as the type to send cryptic notes. She had no shame telling me to my face what she would do if I didn’t comply with her wishes.’

  ‘So who the hell is doing it then?’

  Erin rose to her feet and took Cara’s hands in her own. ‘Don’t you see, if we leave it won’t matter. It won’t be a problem any more. We can come up with a cover story about me coming to work for you. What do you think? Are we gonna go?’

  ‘But will that solve anything? What’s to stop the blackmailer telling him once we’re gone? I’ll be able to deal with Maddie but at the end of the day we will still be living a lie.’

  ‘I just have a feeling that once we leave it won’t be a problem any more. Yes, we’ll still be lying to Matt but I prefer that to the alternative. It’s the only solution. Will you do it?’

  Cara put her arms around Erin’s waist and drew her close. ‘If that’s what you want.’ She stroked Erin’s cheek with the tip of her finger. ‘I love you and I will do anything if it means us being together.’ She kissed Erin’s forehead. ‘Was that the promise you wanted me to make, that I’d leave with you?’

  ‘No. Promise not to say anything to Maddie. I don’t want her to know I told you about her threats. Just in case she tells Matt.’ Erin held Cara’s face in her hands. ‘It’s my granddad I feel sorry for. When I leave Cumbria, it’s going to break his heart.’

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  ‘Where have you been?’ Maddie demanded when she found Cara leant over the bar drowning her sorrows in a glass of champagne. As much as she had wanted Erin by her side on her big night, she totally understood why she didn’t want to breathe the same air as Maddie and had left. Cara felt the same way herself. If it wasn’t for the fact that Erin had made her promise not to say anything, Maddie would have been flat on her arse outside. Cara couldn’t figure out how she had been so blind to the nasty, vindictive side of Maddie. Cheating on her in London was one thing, but to come to her home town and try to turn the lives of innocent people upside down was unforgivable.

  ‘I…umm…what?’ Cara clenched her fists by her side. It took all of her mental strength not to grab Maddie’s neck and choke the life out of her. ‘Oh! I uh, I needed some air, I was, uh…out in the courtyard.’

  Maddie’s face was flushed with wine and mischief, a look Cara knew too well. If she didn’t get Maddie out of her sight, Cara might very well explode. ‘Why don’t you go home? You look like you’ve had quite enough.’

  Maddie widened her eyes innocently. ‘Moi?! No, I’m just having a good time. These last few weeks have been like living in a morgue,’ she said loudly, drawing looks from the people standing behind them.

  ‘And you thought the Lake District would be what exactly?’ Cara’s voice was quiet, yet held an undertone of cold contempt.

  Maddie shrugged. ‘I dunno. Not this dead! I’m just h
appy to be amongst lively people for once. Like him for instance!’ She reached out and grabbed Matt’s arm as he walked by. She pulled her to him and said in a low whisper in Cara’s direction, ‘The love of your life,’ then spun Matt around to face her. ‘When Cara was in London she never stopped talking about you and I mean never!’ Her words slurred as she spoke. ‘Matt this, Matt that, on and on.’ Maddie looked up at him with a grin. ‘You have a sister, don’t you? A twin. What’s her name...Um…?’

  ‘Erin,’ he finished for her.

  ‘Aww, that’s right. Erin. It must be amazing to be so close with someone? Don’t twins have a special bond or something?’

  Matt half shrugged his shoulders. ‘So I’m told.’

  Cara stepped in between them and tugged Maddie’s hand off Matt’s arm. ‘Maddie, I suggest you go home now.’

  ‘No.’ She brushed Cara’s hands away. ‘I don’t want to go yet. I want to tell Matt something.’ She giggled, as she reached out to a chair to steady herself.

  Cara shook her head and rolled her eyes at Matt. ‘Could you do me a favour please and get her jacket from behind the bar. You can’t miss it – it’s silver.’

  Matt raised his brows but said nothing as he went in search of Maddie’s jacket.

  ‘You need to get the fuck out of here right now, I’m warning you, Maddie,’ Cara hissed, when Matt was out of earshot.

  Maddie gave her a lopsided grin. ‘What’s the matter, scared your little secret’s going to come out and spoil things with your precious Erin?’

  Cara’s face was within inches of Maddie’s. ‘You really are a piece of fucking shit, do you know that? First thing tomorrow, I’m going to call Jenny and tell her exactly where you are.’

  Maddie immediately sobered up. ‘You wouldn’t dare.’

  Cara gripped her arm and squeezed it. ‘Oh yeah, not only that, if you’re not on that train in the morning, all those clients I still have addresses for are going to receive an email from me telling them a few home truths about you. Especially how much you were over charging them. I still have the proof of your fiddle on my computer.’