by Cora Seton
As she moved faster, harder, Jake gripped her with his hands, encouraged her, loved what she was doing. Her movements bounced her breasts against him, increasing his pleasure, his desire. No longer in control, he thrust into her, going deeper, using his hands to press her down on top of him.
They reached their peak together, both calling out. Hannah arched back, her silky hair feathering over his hands, which still gripped her ass. Jake bucked against her so hard he thought he’d hurt her, but her cries of pleasure didn’t change to pain. He couldn’t help himself anyway; his need for release was so great—so overpowering.
When they collapsed together they were both winded. Hannah giggled against his shoulder. “Do you think we’ll ever get tired of doing this?”
He shifted to lay her down on the couch and cover her with his body. “Why don’t we find out?”
Hannah sighed as Jake began to nibble her earlobe and trace lazy kisses down her neck. She felt as languorous as a kitten in the warm cabin. Jake had laid a fire in the fireplace before she came home and it added to the ambience. She could stay here forever with Jake, making love and just being together.
As his hand slid up to circle her breast she wondered for a moment whether she could keep up the pace. Surely he couldn’t be ready for another round so fast, but… yes, she thought maybe he was. Her own body responded to that idea with more desire than she expected. Normally she needed some recovery time, too, but now a pulse of want beat between her legs and she was warm and wet…
Hannah’s eyes flew open. She sat straight up, pushing Jake aside. “Damn it!”
“What?”
“You didn’t use protection! You…” A wash of cold swept over her, perking her nipples, but she didn’t care about that. “Damn it, Jake! I trusted you!”
He froze in his position on the couch, only his gaze shifting from side to side as if he was replaying the last fifteen minutes in his mind. “Shit.”
“Yeah—shit!”
“I forgot. You didn’t say anything!” From his expression he was just as shocked as she was. What was it about Jake that made her lose her mind? What made her trust him so much when he obviously wasn’t trustworthy?
She crawled off the couch, nearly losing her balance before she untangled herself from him. Standing up, she put her hands on her hips. “We’ve used it every single time. You thought something changed?”
“I didn’t… think.” Jake stood, too. “You didn’t either, I guess.” He tried to draw her into an embrace. “What does it matter? You already thought you could be pregnant. We’re engaged now. Whatever happens, we’ll be together.”
She pushed him away. “No, we won’t. I can’t even trust you to keep me from getting pregnant when you know I don’t want to be. You only care about yourself—what you want! You’d be happy if I couldn’t go to school. You probably planned this!” She raked her hair back from her face with both hands. “You did, didn’t you?”
“Of course not!” Jake said but she had already spun away. She headed for the stairs at a furious clip. “Where are you going?” he called after her.
“To sleep.” She spun around halfway up the steps. “And I don’t want company!”
‡
Chapter Sixteen
When Jake woke the following morning Hannah had already gone. He’d spent the night in his own room, his bed strange and uncomfortable after all the nights he’d spent in Hannah’s. He’d wracked his brain for something to say or do to fix the situation. He must have finally fallen asleep close to dawn. Now his head hurt, his mouth was dry and his eyes felt like they were on fire.
He stumbled through a hot shower, dressed and descended to the kitchen to find a pile of paperwork on the table pertaining to Hannah’s college admittance. She must have woken up early, eager to plan for a future that didn’t include him. She’d made notes on a piece of paper of all the courses she wished to take. According to the documents, she could go online to sign up for them.
Jake sat down heavily and read through all of the information, paging through the glossy pages that touted all that Montana State had to offer. He recalled doing the same thing back in high school in his guidance counselor’s office. He knew he’d never go to school—Holt would never have countenanced it—but the brochures had fascinated him.
Mr. Helmsly, the counselor, couldn’t understand why he didn’t apply. He was a city transplant and didn’t understand rural thinking yet. Jake had known what his occupation would be from the moment he was born. A rancher, just like his daddy. You learned ranching on a ranch, not behind a desk.
He understood perfectly why Hannah would want to go, however. He sure had wanted to.
Jake picked up a thicker booklet that listed all the college’s majors. He traced a finger down the list, and stopped at one that caught his eye. Natural Resources and Rangeland Ecology. He read through the course offerings. Natural Resources Conservation. Montana Range Plants lab. Livestock in Sustainable Systems.
What would it be like to meet with other ranchers interested in taking the business to a whole new level? What would it be like to have the latest information at his fingertips—to know what sustainability meant, not just guess at it? No one else on the Double-Bar-K even seemed to be interested. Evan Mortimer was, but in a theoretical way, not as someone who’d grown up on a ranch.
Jake flipped through the rest of the information, found a website URL and brought his laptop down to the table. An hour later when Ned poked his head in to see why the hell he wasn’t attending to his chores, Jake was almost done with his application. With their rolling admissions, he’d find out in a day or two if he’d get in. Bursting with the secret, he joined his brothers outside preparing to ride out to check the herd.
“What’s gotten into you today?” Ned asked suspiciously.
“Nothing.” The truth was Jake had no idea what had gotten into him. He couldn’t leave the ranch and attend college.
So why had he just sent in an online application to Montana State?
“Hasn’t anyone ever told you about birth control?” Claire said. Hannah, Claire, Autumn, Morgan, Rose and Bella had all gathered for a late afternoon emergency meeting at the pet clinic. Bella had already ushered the last client of the day out the front door and now the women sat on the plastic waiting room seats and discussed Hannah’s predicament. Hannah had decided that her need for support outweighed the humiliation of admitting she screwed up her protection not once, but twice in a two-week span.
“Of course. I told you; the condom broke the first time. That’s not anyone’s fault. And last night—we just got carried away.”
“You don’t think Jake did it on purpose, do you?” Rose asked.
“I don’t think so,” Hannah said slowly. She had at first, but now that she’d cooled down, she doubted that was true. She was the one who’d straddled him. She was the one who set the pace. She’d forgotten all about the condom, too. The problem was that she was used to being on the Pill. This condom stuff was new to her. That was no excuse for her negligence though, or for Jake’s.
“For someone who really wants to go to college you sure seem determined to get stuck right here,” Claire said.
“Claire!” Morgan said. “That’s not helpful.”
Tears spilled from Hannah’s eyes. “But she’s right. What am I doing moving in with Jake, sleeping with him, becoming engaged to him, having sex with him—unprotected sex—if I really mean to leave?”
“Are you having second thoughts about becoming a vet?” Bella asked gently.
“No! Not at all!”
“Are you… scared?” Rose ventured.
Hannah’s tears fell more thickly and she swiped at them brusquely with her sleeve. She was scared, but why? She knew she could handle the academics—she’d always been terrific at school. She knew she could handle the messier side of animal care, too. She helped out all the time in the clinic and shelter. Blood didn’t faze her. She wasn’t afraid of diseases or death. She had a steady hand a
nd a steady personality.
Except when it came to Jake.
“I think we have our answer,” Claire said caustically. “What on earth are you afraid of?”
“Losing Jake,” Autumn said. It wasn’t a question, but Hannah nodded. She mopped her eyes with the handkerchief Autumn passed her and raised her head.
“He doesn’t want to wait to get married or start a family. He’s already thirty-three.”
“Can’t you do both?” Morgan asked.
“The problem is that she’ll need to go somewhere like Colorado for vet school,” Bella told her. “There aren’t any local programs for that.”
Hannah looked from one of them to the next. “So what do I do? If I forget about school I’ll resent Jake, but if I go I might lose him.”
“Are those really the only two options?” Claire asked.
“I don’t know.”
“You should copy us. We’re making all of our plans work by helping each other,” Morgan said, indicating Claire, Autumn and Rose. “By living so closely together and making the ranch a joint venture, we can pitch in when it’s needed. Since Rob is still injured, Cab’s been filling in for him. When we start having our babies, all the men will have to pick up the slack, but since we’re due at different times, we’ll be able to help each other, too. You don’t have to go it alone if you don’t want to. Jake’s parents and brothers all live right there. Why can’t you talk to them and see if you can work something out?”
“But how do you work out me being away from home for four years?” Hannah said. She didn’t bring up the fact that she wasn’t comfortable asking Jake’s family for help—not after the way they’d treated her so far. And she couldn’t ask her parents, either. They were barely keeping themselves afloat.
That seemed to stump everyone. “I’m not saying it will be easy,” Morgan said. “But it is possible. Why not start from there?”
Jake was curry-combing Chester when Rob found him in the stables. The smooth motion of running the comb through the gelding’s hair soothed him, as did the presence of the patient beast. He’d had Chester for years now and while he knew it was sentimental, he always felt the horse knew when he was particularly troubled and did his best to be extra patient and helpful that day.
“Hannah seems to be in a state today,” Rob said.
“You’ve seen her?” Jake looked over his shoulder.
“No—but Morgan and the rest of the women have all gone to Bella’s clinic for a powwow.”
“Huh.” He didn’t like the sound of that one bit. He went back to stroking Chester with the brush but now his movements felt choppy, out of whack. “You came here to tell me that?”
“I don’t want to see you screw up a good thing.”
“How do you figure I’m doing that?”
“You just started seeing Hannah. Now the two of you are engaged? Don’t you think you’re moving a little fast?”
“Ain’t that the pot calling the kettle black?” Jake said.
Rob had the grace to look away. He and Morgan had a whirlwind courtship. “Yeah, well. I had something to offer Morgan. The land she needed for her winery. And even if I did propose before we dated much, I poured on the romance after that, believe me. From what I hear you’ve got Hannah cooking your meals and cleaning your house like she’s some kind of maid.”
“It isn’t quite like that.” Should he tell Rob what their father had done?
“Really? Have you done anything romantic for her?”
Jake thought hard. “I bought her dinner last night. I bought her a ring, too.”
“You think that’s enough?”
Jake’s temper flared. “I reckon I can court a woman without your help.”
“Oh, yeah? Then why does your fiancée have her friends rallied round her like Custer’s last stand?”
Jake couldn’t quite find an answer to that. “Fine. Romance. More of it.”
“You know she wants to go veterinary school?” Rob asked.
“Of course. I told her she could.” Jake kept on working. Rob caught hold of his arm.
“Take that tone about it and you’ll lose her. The most romantic thing you could do is support her.”
“I’m not taking a tone.” Jake tried to pull free. “I am trying to support her. In fact…”
“Look, cut the crap. Morgan texted me what the real problem is. You keep trying to get Hannah pregnant. You think that’s going to solve your problems? Is that your grand plan?” Suddenly Rob was in his face, furious. “If you really want to marry that girl, if you’re really in love with her, how about you stop thinking about what she can do for you and start thinking about what you can do for her.”
“I’m not trying to get her pregnant.” Jake shoved him away. He wasn’t. Really. After all, he’d just sent an application in to Montana State. He had no idea why—it wasn’t like he’d be able to go, but at least he’d sent it in. That ought to count for something.
“But you screw up twice in two weeks? That sounds a whole lot like trying to me. Get behind your woman’s dreams and help make them come true; that’s what a real man would do.”
Jake dropped his arms, suddenly tired of the whole conversation. “Make her dreams come true? When they’re going to take her away from me? Away from this place?”
“Are you really that short-sighted? Jake, she’s going to be a vet. You’re a rancher. You ranch animals.” Rob emphasized the last word. “She’ll doctor up animals when she’s done with school. What’s the problem?”
“I’ll tell you what the problem is.” Jake advanced on him. “Four years of school in Colorado, that’s the problem. By the time she’s done I’ll be an old man. What if she doesn’t want me anymore? What if she meets someone else while she’s out there? Four years is a hell of a long time to be apart.”
“So don’t be apart. Go with her.”
“And leave the ranch? Lose my place? Because once Ned gets a hold of it, he won’t let go.”
“You know how this is going to turn out? I think I do. You’ll alienate Hannah, drive her into another man’s arms, split up and end up stuck here for the rest of your life hating this ranch that you think you love so much. All because you’re too stubborn to see what’s in front of your face.”
“What? What’s in front of my face?” The horses in the stalls around them moved nervously. Jake knew they should take this outside but they were too far gone in the argument to move.
“Opportunities. You’ve got one chance here to get the woman you love and the life you want.”
Jake shook his head. “No—I’ve got one chance to choose between the woman I love and the life I want.”
“God, you are blind. There’s always another way, Jake. Always.” Rob stomped out of the barn. Jake threw the curry comb down and kicked it across the floor.
Damn Rob and damn everyone else, too, with their possibilities. He could have the ranch or he could have Hannah. That was the choice before him. It was black and white, crisp and clear, as simple as…
Another possibility struck him, so bold it nearly blinded him. He stood stock-still, afraid if he moved the idea would vanish.
Could it work? Should he even try?
He pulled out his cell phone.
‡
Chapter Seventeen
When Hannah walked into the cabin an hour later, Jake was waiting for her in the kitchen. He was bent over the toaster lifting two frozen waffles out. Breakfast sausages sizzled on the stove. A jar of applesauce sat in the middle of the table which he’d set for two. It wasn’t as elegant as the take out dinner he’d arranged for them the night before, but the fact he’d done the cooking himself brought tears to her eyes.
She hated not trusting Jake. Hated that she could think for a minute he might botch their birth control in order to make her pregnant and keep her here. She knew he loved her. Knew, too, that he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, but without solid trust, how could they make anything work?
“Dinner
’s ready,” Jake said jauntily, but he wouldn’t meet her gaze.
She took off her coat and dropped her purse on the couch. “I think we really need to talk.”
“I think so, too.” Jake pointed to a stack of papers by each plate. “I printed us out some lists.”
“Lists?”
“Wash up first. Then I’ll tell you what it’s all about.”
Hannah made her way to the bathroom wondering if Jake had found yet another way to distract her from her purpose. When she came back, the plates were loaded with food. Her stomach grumbled but she pursed her lips, ready to stick to her guns.
“Sounds like someone’s hungry.”
“I skipped lunch.” She took her seat. He touched her hand on his way around the table and she bit her lip. She wouldn’t let him sweet talk her again, but if she was honest with herself, she craved his closeness. All the talk this afternoon about heading out to Colorado and leaving Jake behind had made her sad. What she had with him was special; she didn’t want to lose it.
“What’s the paperwork about?”
“Chores,” Jake said. “I listed every one I could think of around here. We both work full time, so it makes sense that we should divide them between us.”
“Really?” Hannah blinked, surprised. “I didn’t think you felt that way.”
“It’s not the way my folks do it. But it’s been pointed out to me that there’s more than one way to get things done. Why don’t we start by marking the ones we don’t mind doing. Then we’ll compare lists and divide up what’s left. We can shift things around until it’s fair.”
Hannah wasn’t sure why tears pricked her eyes again. She’d cried plenty at the clinic and she hadn’t thought she had any tears left. Blinking them back determinedly, she ran down the list and checked the chores that bothered her least. Vacuuming. Changing the sheets. Cooking. She loathed grocery shopping so she left that one blank. The same with scrubbing the toilets. But there were many things on the list that she really didn’t mind doing—not if Jake was pitching in, too.
