Only Love Can Heal

by Rosie Harris

  After Arnhem there were intermittent fighting and stiff counter attacks throughout October. Christmas came and went without any real celebration. The weather was bitterly cold. During January and February, the Rhine rose and flooded the ‘island’ between Nijmegen and Arnhem, floods made worse by the Germans deliberately breaching the dykes so that in places the land was up to six feet under water. When this froze over, and snow added to their hazards, movements became treacherous. Spirits eventually lifted when the thaw came in February, followed by crisp clear March weather that dried out the flooded land in no time at all.

  There were fresh problems and tough resistance when they attempted to cross the Rhine in late March. Their job as an Armoured Division was to advance and support the 43rd Wessex Infantry Division, even though the Germans still held most of Holland. Several assault crossings were attempted, both in daylight and during the night.

  Robert, because he was used to working out of doors all year round, found he could stand the hardships of winter better than most of the other officers. It was the continual noise he found unbearable, the thunder of gunfire that extended for almost fifty miles from Nijmegen to the Ruhr. And, added to the sound of gunfire, was the noise of bombers and of German reconnaissance aircraft dropping flares over Nijmegen, and of tank convoys roaring along the roads to the Rhineland.

  Eighteen days and 150 miles later, they took Kloppenburg. The Germans reacted strongly but with superhuman effort, Robert and his fellow officers rallied their men on to meet this fresh attack. Liberating villages was phrenetic stuff, he thought grimly. After fierce fighting the Germans either pulled back or waved a white flag of surrender, leaving many dead and countless prisoners in their wake.

  The fighting was still not over. Bremen was finally captured, the first big German port on the North Sea to fall into Allied hands. As the Guards took over the peninsula between the Elbe and Weser, Robert found they had to deal with over 6,000 prisoners.

  Rumours that Hitler and Eva Braun, whom Hitler had married only a few days previously, had taken refuge in their special Bunker in the Chancellery, brought fresh hope that the war would soon be over. Civil order was collapsing. German civilians had started looting abandoned trains, shops and stores, shouting ‘Germany kaput!’ as they did so.

  The first few days of May were edgy ones. Everyone was waiting for the rumours that the Germans had surrendered to Field-Marshal Montgomery to be confirmed. When the announcement ‘all hostilities will cease at 0800 hours tomorrow morning, 5th May’, eventually came they celebrated with a firing of flares. Victory was assured. As Corps Commander Sir Brian Horrocks took the salute at a parade of gleaming tanks, guns and vehicles, Robert found it hard to believe that only a week before men and machines alike had been covered with the grime of battle.

  Exultantly, Robert wrote to Kate. The long wait was over, she could begin making arrangements for their wedding.

  Chapter 6

  London was a scene of wild rejoicing. The Germans had finally capitulated, after almost six years of fighting, and victory in Europe had now been declared. 8th May was designated VE Day. And, ever since they had heard the news, people seemed to have gone crazy even though the announcement had been expected for almost a week. The previous Wednesday, newspapers had carried the headline ‘Hitler is Dead’ and, on the following day, ‘Army of 10,000 surrendered’. On Saturday, placards everywhere declared ‘Germans surrender inside Monty’s tent’.

  From her office, Kate Russell could see the crowds gathering in the streets below, streaming towards Whitehall, like an army of ants, and she felt an overpowering urge to join them.

  Concentrating on the masses of paperwork piled up on her desk was almost impossible. A handsome, square-jawed face with burnished red hair and tantalising green eyes blurred her vision. If the war in Europe was over then Robert could be home any day. In between signing letters and forms she day-dreamed about the future.

  Just before lunchtime, her father phoned to ask if she could join him for a celebratory drink and from then on her day became a shambles.

  Sir Henry was in a jubilant mood. He had been under pressure ever since the invasion had begun and it showed in his greying hair and bowed shoulders. With a pang, Kate realised that he was growing old and ready for retirement.

  She stayed with him at the War Office to listen to Churchill’s speech from Downing Street at three o’clock. After that, returning to work was out of the question. The sun was shining and it was as if everyone had suddenly gone crazy. Parliament Square was jammed with people, laughing and cheering, kissing and hugging.

  It was early evening when she finally got away from her father and his friends. She had declined his offer of a car to take her back to Barracks. She wanted to be mingling with the ecstatic throng, enter into the spirit of freedom. On impulse she made her way towards Buckingham Palace, the point where the crowds were at their most congested. Groups were singing and dancing, everyone was rejoicing and happy. Complete strangers wanted to shake her hand simply because she was in uniform.

  Suddenly there was a movement and Kate found herself being swept forward as the crowd gazed expectantly towards the front of the palace. Earlier in the day, the King and Queen, and the two Princesses – Princess Elizabeth wearing her ATS uniform – had appeared on the balcony and stood there on either side of Winston Churchill, the Prime Minister, waving to the crowd.

  Now, as Kate stood there, hemmed in on every side by the milling crowd, she felt a thrill of excitement as a deafening cheer went up to greet the King and Queen as they again emerged. It was followed seconds later by a full-bodied cry for the two Princesses. When this went unanswered it brought murmurs of disappointment followed by a roaring chant of ‘we want the Princesses’.

  ‘I wonder what they would say if they knew we were down here with them,’ a voice whispered just behind Kate only to be quickly hushed into silence.

  Startled, Kate looked round, then caught her breath in astonishment. There, standing shoulder to shoulder with the crowd, were both the princesses! Concerned for their safety, she wondered whether she ought to report the matter so that they could be given professional protection.

  A feeling of panic swept through her as she realised that, like her, they were jammed in so tightly by people that it would be impossible for the police, who stood at the outside edge of the crowd, to reach them.

  Then, as she heard Princess Margaret giggling happily, she reasoned that since those around them were in such a joyous, happy mood there was unlikely to be any trouble. Anyway, she reminded herself, Princess Elizabeth had trained as an ATS officer and should be well able to take care of both herself and her sister.

  The celebrations went on for days. London seemed to be one massive street party. Kate wished Robert could be there to share the incredible atmosphere with her.

  No one seemed to know when the troops would be coming back from Germany. She asked her father for news but he was evasive, merely reminding her that though hostilities had ended in Europe, there was still fighting in the Far East.

  ‘Don’t forget there will be an army of occupation in Germany and it is quite likely that the Guards will form part of that,’ he warned.

  The war in Malaya and Korea entered a new traumatic phase a couple of months later, when atomic bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, so it was almost with relief Kate heard from Robert that he was to stay on in Germany.

  After VJ Day, when her own demob date was announced, Kate was afraid to sound too jubilant when she wrote to Robert knowing how frustrated he must be feeling. She wondered if there was any possibility of getting a job in Europe. When she mentioned this to her father he thought it a ridiculous idea.

  ‘Be patient. He’ll be back in next to no time and then you’ll have a lifetime of each other’s company ahead of you. Make the most of your freedom while you can – he probably is,’ he added cynically.

  She had four days’ leave owing so she spent them at home, trying to visualise what li
fe would be like when she was back there for good. Everything seemed so tame and drab. Her mother and Mabel grumbled constantly about food shortages, saying that things were far worse now than they had been when the war was at its height, now even bread was to be rationed. They also constantly bemoaned the fact that they both needed new clothes but lacked coupons to get them.

  To escape from them both, Kate went to see Eleanor Anstruther, who had already been demobbed from the WRNS. They had always been very close friends although they were exact opposites.

  Eleanor was shorter than Kate with fair curly hair and deep violet eyes set in a heart-shaped face. At school, she had been decidedly plump but three years in the WRNS had slimmed her down and the light blue cotton dress she was wearing showed off her shapely figure to advantage.

  Her effusive greeting confirmed she had lost none of her bubbly good humour. Kate felt her spirits lifting as she followed Eleanor upstairs to where they could talk without being overheard. As she entered Eleanor’s bright airy room, with its chintzy armchair and matching curtains, it took her right back to the old days when they had confided in each other over just about everything under the sun, from boys and homework to parent problems.

  ‘Are you going on a holiday or just coming back from one?’ Kate asked as Eleanor lifted a half packed suitcase from the bed and dumped it on the floor.

  ‘I’m off, but not on a holiday,’ Eleanor said smiling mysteriously.

  ‘Oh! What then? You’re not getting married!’

  ‘No!’ A shadow clouded Eleanor’s eyes and for a brief moment her smile vanished and her lower lip trembled. ‘You probably haven’t heard that Simon Nielsen has been killed.’

  Kate shook her head, her brown eyes widening with shock.

  ‘It happened on VE Day. So bloody stupid!’ Eleanor exclaimed angrily. ‘He went right through the war, took part in horrendous naval skirmishes in Italy and North Africa, and then, after peace has been declared, gets himself killed while out celebrating!’

  ‘Whatever happened?’

  ‘Someone dared him to walk along a parapet at the side of a bridge and he lost his balance and fell into the river and was drowned.’

  ‘But he was a first class swimmer! Don’t you remember how he used to win medals at the School Sports,’ Kate declared.

  ‘He drowned just the same. He was drunk, of course!’ Eleanor sighed, her violet eyes misting with tears.

  ‘Didn’t any of the others try to save him?’

  ‘They were as pissed out of their tiny minds as he was,’ Eleanor said angrily.

  ‘It’s really upset you, hasn’t it,’ Kate remarked, gently touching her friend’s arm. ‘Is Ralph Buscombe all right?’ she asked anxiously.

  ‘As far as I know. He’s an RAF Squadron Leader these days. What do we do … fight over him or toss a coin?’

  ‘He’s yours if you want him,’ Kate said drily, ‘I’ve found someone else.’

  The two girls looked at each other dejectedly for a few seconds then suddenly they were in each other’s arms, hugging, kissing, laughing, and crying until they both collapsed helplessly on the bed in a fit of hysteria.

  Simon’s death saddened them both. Not only had they all grown up together but it had been taken for granted in their tight knit social circle that someday Kate would marry either Simon or Ralph and Eleanor would marry the other one. They were both such suitable matches. All four families were local landowners, had the same standards and lifestyle. If the war had not intervened, the marriages would probably have already taken place, which was a sobering thought for both girls.

  ‘So who have you found?’ Eleanor asked when they had regained their breath.

  Kate told her about Robert, sparing none of the details of how they had met and her parents’ reaction.

  ‘I’m amazed Sir Henry didn’t kick him straight out of the house!’ Eleanor exclaimed. ‘Are you sure they’ll let you marry him? Be awful if you’d stayed faithful all this time for nothing!’ Her violet eyes quizzed Kate laughingly. ‘That is, if you have. It has been ages and it is war time.’

  ‘I have.’

  ‘How noble!’ Eleanor teased, pulling a face. ‘And what a terrible waste,’ she added cynically.

  ‘I take it you haven’t been wasting your time,’ Kate commented.

  ‘No, I’ve lived every moment of it,’ Eleanor replied with a satisfied smirk.

  ‘And what are your plans now?’ Kate asked curiously.

  ‘Aah. This is the big adventure!’ She grinned. ‘You probably won’t approve. Have you heard about the “Groundnut scheme”?’

  ‘The what?’

  ‘Groundnuts … monkey nuts? Britain is desperately short of cooking fat so the government is starting a scheme out in Africa, to grow groundnuts to provide oil.’

  ‘But surely that’s where they grow anyway,’ Kate said in bewilderment.

  ‘Yes, but they are going to send men and machines out to clear acres and acres of the land and then use modern methods and cheap African labour to grow vast crops and produce a bumper harvest. This will then be processed efficiently and provide an abundance of oil for Britain and anyone else who needs it.’

  ‘And where do you fit in?’

  ‘It’s a government project so they offered jobs to Naval officers due for demob. A rather special friend of mine has taken up the challenge and is going out as a Field Officer. He needs a secretary so I said I would go along as well. I may as well be pounding a typewriter out there as somewhere in England.’

  ‘You, pound a typewriter … I don’t believe it. I thought you planned to get married as soon as the war ended!’

  ‘We both did, remember? Simon or Ralph! Now all that has changed.’

  ‘You mean it was Simon you wanted?’ Kate asked softly.

  ‘Not particularly. It was what our parents expected of us, wasn’t it?’

  ‘True! It was almost like these arranged marriages you read about,’ Kate grimaced.

  ‘I wonder what Simon and Ralph thought about it?’ Eleanor mused. ‘Was Simon really coming back to marry one of us? And is Ralph desperately trying to decide which of us he will choose now that he’s the only survivor?’

  ‘As I said earlier, he’s yours if you want him,’ Kate told her. ‘I certainly don’t.’

  ‘Well, don’t tell him yet. Keep him guessing. If my trip to Africa doesn’t work out then I may come back and marry him.’

  ‘Or you may stay out there with lover-boy,’ Kate teased.

  ‘Mm. If his wife will agree to it,’ Eleanor said flippantly but Kate saw her face cloud as she turned away.

  ‘You mean he’s married already!’

  ‘All the best ones are, or hadn’t you noticed.’

  ‘But Eleanor …’

  ‘Look, don’t start preaching,’ Eleanor snapped. ‘It’s my life. He and his wife haven’t seen each other for three years. She cleared off to Southern Ireland the moment war broke out and took their kids with her. Apart from letters, and the occasional snapshot of the children, they may as well all be dead as far as he’s concerned.’

  ‘What do your parents think about it?’ Kate asked.

  ‘Are you mad!’ Eleanor mocked. ‘They are the last people I want to find out.’

  ‘But they do know you are going to Africa.’

  ‘Yes, I had to tell them that!’ The sparkle was back in her eyes and laughter bubbled as she added, ‘They were full of dire warning about all the dangers, everything from lions roaming around at night to the fact that the ground is alive with snakes.’

  ‘And is it?’

  ‘Probably, but who cares. That’s all part of the excitement.’ She stretched her arms wide. ‘Anything is better than returning here … yet.’

  ‘But perhaps someday,’ Kate murmured softly.

  ‘I don’t know!’ Eleanor slid off the bed and walked over to the window and stood looking out at the garden beyond. ‘I’m not placid and tractable like you are, Kate. I want a challenge out of life. I want
to go places and see things not become enmeshed in parochial affairs like my parents. Honestly,’ she spun round to face Kate, ‘they really do believe that this is the centre of the universe. They don’t know, nor care, what is happening in the rest of the world. As long as the hunting is good and the port properly decanted, the old man is perfectly happy. And when he is content, Mother can arrange flowers and have afternoon tea parties and together they live in perfect harmony. Ugh! That’s not living!’

  ‘But dodging snakes, fighting off scorpions and never knowing when you might be eaten by a lion, is?’ Kate parried.

  ‘When you are sharing the experience with the right person, then yes, it is. Look, why don’t you come along as well?’ she challenged.

  ‘Now I know you’re mad!’

  ‘Just for a few months,’ Eleanor persisted, ‘until this Robert chap gets his ticket. Come on, you’d enjoy it, it would be great fun.’

  ‘Not for me. I like my creature comforts too much and living under canvas, in primitive conditions, just isn’t my idea of a good time.’

  ‘What will you do then? Can you stay on m the ATS? I know they asked us if we wanted to defer our demob date …’

  ‘Eleanor, you really are wizard!’ Kate exclaimed, her brown eyes widening with delight. ‘That’s the perfect answer. Why didn’t I think of that?’

  For the rest of her short leave, Kate could think of nothing else. Continuing in her present job would be the ideal way of filling in her time while she waited for Robert to be demobbed. She was perfectly happy working with Captain Graham Parkes. Although he demanded a high standard of efficiency, his manner was courteous and he had a whimsical sense of humour that she enjoyed.

  She could hardly wait to get back to the office to find out if it was possible.

  ‘If I do defer my demob date then I would want to be sure I could go on working for you,’ she told him.

  Graham Parkes looked positively startled. A warm friendship had grown up between them during the time they’d shared an office. He found Kate extremely efficient, and always cheerful no matter how much pressure they were under. He admired her greatly. He liked the way she wore her dark hair, her well groomed appearance, and her quiet competence.