Finding Hope in Texas

by Ryan T. Petty

  And/or? The words leapt from her mouth like they had legs. Surely she said that to everyone, but it just felt awkward. I was now an and/or.

  “Yes, okay.”

  I walked over to the bench and sat down, watching the continual movements of the day, students checking in on their first day back from the holidays and teachers preparing for the new semester. Back to the old grindstone with no change from any day before it. It seemed the repetition of school life was one thing that was the same throughout the country, or at least New York and Texas. Soon, I would join the crowd of faces in the hallway, cafeteria and classes. A door opened next to me that brought me back to attention. A woman clad in blue, perhaps in her early forties and wearing glasses poked her head out and glared at me.

  “Miss Kilpatrick, would you like to come in?”

  I didn't say anything, but I really wanted to stay right where I was. Why I had to speak to a counselor on my first day was beyond me. Did they already know why I was here? Did Mags come up here and pour her heart out about her sad little wreck of a niece? Ugh.

  I reached down and gathered my stuff and slowly made my way into the office room. The lady made her way around the desk and took a seat. Another student, a beautiful blonde girl dressed in a blue and white school clothes sat at one of the chairs on the opposite side. She looked way too happy to be there.

  “Well, please, come in and take a seat.” I did as I was asked, sitting next to the student. “Hope, I'm Mrs. Tremble, the student guidance counselor here. I wanted to welcome you to our little school.”

  “Thank you,” I said with little emotion.

  “Now, you’ve received your schedule, correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “Your first class is U.S. History with Mr. Peet?”

  “Umm,” I looked at the sheet of paper, “yes, it is.”

  “Alright, good. Please let me know if you have any–”

  “Ahem...” the blonde student cleared her throat.

  “Oh, yes, I almost forgot. You know things can be hectic at the start of any semester, especially for a new student. Well, we have created a new program to help you get used to our system and maybe introduce you around to a few people. It's something like a buddy system. A fellow student helps you out in your first week of school and answers any questions you may have.”

  “Oh, I–”

  “Well, this is Jody and she is here for just this purpose. Jody is the captain of the cheerleader squad and president of the Secundus chapter here at school.”

  “Secundus? Isn't that Latin for second?”

  Before the counselor could answer, the blonde girl turned toward me and grinned brightly. “Yes, it is. You are so clever. Anyway, as Mrs. Tremble was saying, I am Jody, and I'm here to help you during your first week here. I have mostly the same class schedule as you and I can show you all around the school. Oh, and you can meet my friends. Most of them are in the Secundus, too.

  “What is this...group?”

  “Why, you mean you didn't have Secundus at your school?”

  I shook my head.

  “Well, we’re a civic organization that’s here to do its part in helping anyone who needs it. We pick up litter around the school, do charity work. Our members are expected to keep at least a B average and we do tutorials after school three days a week. We try to make a positive influence on everyone and be role models for under classmen as well.”

  “Oh, okay.” That actually sounded really cool. I gave her a passing smile.

  “We are Secundus because we are second, you know, to Him.”

  “Him? Him who?”

  “You know, God.” Jody looked at me strangely, as though I had never heard of God before, and before I thought of saying something catty like, “Oh, Allah,” the counselor chimed in, making sure the religious overtures didn’t go too far.

  “Anyway, Jody will be helping you here this week. We’re trying to make a goodwill effort to all our new students so they don't feel left out. You, Miss. Kilpatrick, just got the cream of the crop.” The counselor glanced at Jody and smiled. “And hey, you never know, but you both might be best friends by Friday.”

  “Okay,” I said again, not knowing whether to be happy or run out of the room as fast as possible.

  “And I am so happy to do this, Hope. You can count on me helping you in any way I can. I'm sure Mrs. Tremble is right, we will be great friends by the end of the week.”

  I smiled, not because I wanted a new best friend, but because she didn't have anything else to say.

  Mrs. Tremble hurried us out the door, motioning for the next student to come into her office. Now acquaintances, we walked out of the office together to join our schoolmates in the foyer. As we waited, Jody tried to continue our mostly one-sided conversation.

  “So where are you from, Hope? Hope. I just love that name. Hope,” she said with a glimmering smile.

  “New York.”

  “New York,” Jody said and looked impressed, “Oh, you don't know how much I've always wanted to go up there. It always looks so beautiful this time of year on TV with the Christmas lights up and that tree at that place...you know...where they have the ice rink and the statues.”

  “Rockefeller Plaza.”

  “Yeah, that's it. Say, have you ever been to the ball drop in Times Square?”

  “Yes, I've been before, with my fa...friends.”

  I was lying. It was mom and dad that took us. We had a wonderful time there grouped all together in blankets counting down the numbers and singing Auld Lang Syne. I just didn't want her to ask about my family. What was I supposed to tell her? Sorry, they are all dead, killed by some reckless drunk on his way home after a binge? She was either going to see me as some head case or throw more condolences my way, and from a girl this bubbly, I would rather go with the head case scenario. I quickly blinked back a tear that began to form in the corner of my eye. This year, my parents were going to let me go to the ball drop with a few friends in the orchestra from school. We were going to be cool without parental supervision. That didn't happen, though. I didn't even watch it on TV.

  “You are so lucky. Maybe we can go together someday and you can show me around.”

  The bell rang and the crowd of high school scholars began their journey down the hallways to their first period classrooms. I was dragged along with Jody, who had wrapped her arm through mine, as if she was leading a blind person. We arrived at the classroom and took a seat next to each other in the middle of the room, not in the back like we were not paying attention, but still having the protection from the first two rows of desks. The bell soon rang again for those loitering in the hallway.

  “Good morning ladies and gentlemen,” said a voice from the door. I turned and saw a man in a dress shirt, tie, and slacks moving quickly down the aisle toward the podium at the front of the room.

  A few students mumbled “good morning” back to the teacher.

  “I hope everyone had a good break and got everything they wanted for Christmas. And if you didn't, well, better luck next year. Let's do some history, shall we?” There were no laughs at the mundane sarcasm. It was too early after too long of a break. It would probably take a few days to wake up again.

  “Mr. Peet,” Jody raised her hand to get his attention, “I wanted to introduce our new classmate to the class.”

  “Jody, don't,” I whispered.

  “Well, does she want to be introduced by you?” asked the teacher, a grin on his face.

  “Sure, she does.”

  “No, I don't,” I finally said out loud, much to Jody's surprise.

  The teacher smiled at the new face. “Jody, stop bothering the new girl. Sounds like she can speak for herself. If only the rest of your little crew would do the same.” A few snickers went up from the back of the class as Jody huffed for a moment. But soon I felt the classroom's occupants turn their attention on me. “Alright, who are you and where are you from?”

  “Um, I'm Hope from New York,” I said reluctantly, ho
ping I wouldn't have to repeat the same task in every class that day.

  “So...you are one of those liberal Yankees, right?” Mr. Peet asked, a grin on his face.

  “Um, yeah,” I smiled never having been called a Yankee before.

  “Well, how the heck did you find North Texas?”

  I sighed and for a moment I felt like spilling my whole sad story upon the unsuspecting crowd of people that didn't know me from Eve. I would be the girl that this teacher caused to have a mental breakdown in the first three minutes of class. Maybe if they heard me tell about the horrible accident that killed my family they might care who I was. Maybe if I just let all my emotions that had built up in me since the move down here out in one big fit of painful sorrow, someone would finally help me find a place of normalcy in my life again.

  “I don't know.” Really, that’s all I could muster?

  “Well, whatever it is, we’re glad to have you here,” the teacher smiled once again. Quickly, he flipped through his book and started to teach the class. “Alright people, the last time we were here we were focusing on those depressed people in the Great Depression.”

  Classes went by quickly, as if the day was in a rush to be over. English, then Algebra II, a home-making course, and then speech were all before lunch. Bar-be-que chicken was the special on the menu that day.

  I accepted my tray from a hair-netted lady who probably wanted to be there as much as I did. To me, the meal looked fattening. How in the heck do people eat this stuff and not have a coronary? Jody pulled me along after we got our trays, guiding me in the direction of the corner table where her friends sat chatting.

  “Girls, you probably have heard her name, but this is Hope. Hope, her name is Hope. She's from New York City.”

  “Hey,” I said after being introduced three times.

  “Hey,” a few of the girls said back as we took some seats in the middle. Chatter started up amongst the group as they caught up on the gossip from the Christmas break. I quickly found my place as the fly on the wall.

  “So Jody,” another girl looked at her with a grin on her face, “did you have a good weekend with Brad?” The girl seemed to be suggesting something as I looked at Jody, whose cheeks partially flushed.

  “I did, Little Miss Nosy,” Jody sneered with a few giggles from the table.

  “Oh, I bet you did. Going on a camping trip with him and his family in the dead of winter. Did y'all even get out of the lodge?”

  “Of course...but only to wipe the steam off the windows.” The table laughed about the juicy gossip. I could tell that Jody was enjoying all of the attention. The gaggle of girls continued their questions about what seemed to be a wild weekend between Jody and some boy. All the while, I busied myself sliding back the greasy chicken skin from its thickness. Digging my fork into the white meat, I took a bite. Mmmm, not bad.

  “And what about you, Hope? Any hot New York boys you can tell us about?”

  “Um,” I muttered, finally choking down the chicken, “a few, I guess.”

  “You guess?” another girl replied, “I know there have to be some super-hot babes up there living in the Big Apple. I bet there are so many famous people just walking around. Have you ever met any of them?”

  “Have you been to a show, like on Broadway or Saturday Night Live?”

  “That is so cool you are from New York. We all so need to go up there.”

  I smiled at all the questions, but I couldn't help noticing that Jody had gotten quiet, her thunder gone. Was she angry with me? She didn’t seem her bubbly self at the moment. Had I said or done something wrong? Just as I was about to ask, a group of boys walked by with their trays, all of them looking over at our table.

  “Hey,” one of the boys said, catching the ear of Jody, who immediately turned around and smiled.

  “Hey, Brad.”

  “I had a good time this weekend. How about you?”

  “Yeah, it was fun,” Jody gleamed.

  “Who's your little friend?”

  “Oh, this is Hope.” One name, finally.

  “Cool. Well, maybe I'll see you after school then...”

  “Yeah, okay, cool...”

  As Brad walked away, Jody's gaze followed him. I couldn't help but think the entire conversation was that of so many teenagers, north or south–short without any substance. Jane Austin would be kicking herself if she were sitting in my spot. I even imagined just for a second that the weekend Jody and Brad spend together had a lot of heys and cools thrown around. If a guy back home had talked to me like that, I would have probably laughed in his face. I was quickly brought back to reality as the girls' giggling soon developed once again. I stuck to my chicken and black-eyed peas, which were supposedly lucky in the South, weren’t they?

  After lunch there were three more classes. Music was first, which was something I finally found myself not being bored at. Well, history wasn't bad. Mr. Peet tried to make it fun, even though he was dealing with a lot of half-awake students who didn't seem to know the Dust Bowl from the Super Bowl. But he had an air about him that was likable at least. Still, music was my passion. It had always been a voice for me, an outlet, a way to find the right set of notes to tell a story that I wouldn't dare speak. I had learned the violin at a young age, and although I was a little rusty since the move, I played well enough to impress the teacher on the first day. Once again, I saw that Jody did not look too happy as she sat across the room with her flute.

  Music was followed by computer technology, which seemed pretty easy. I had used the computer for research at home, and found out quickly I would have no trouble keeping up with the students who only seemed to care about their Facebook statuses. After leaving class, I hurried down the hallway towards my locker, forgetting that Jody was supposed to be my guide for the day. Rounding a corner, I ran face first into a student riding a skateboard. One of those grunge kids who must not have gotten the notice that Kurt Cobain was long dead. My notebook was tossed into the air, papers flying in every direction. The student, a longhaired boy with baggy trousers, just kept on going, not even looking back to check on me. Others walked past as well, not stopping to help. Thank you, Texans. I sighed. Dropping to my knees, I slowly gathered the scattered papers. Finally getting them into a pile, I stuffed them quickly into the notebook. They could be organized later. But before I knew what was happening, I felt a strong arm wrap underneath mine and carefully lift me to my feet. Looking up, I stared into the brown eyes of a very handsome young man.

  “You know, you shouldn't kneel down in the hall like that. You might get run over by one of these jerks on a skateboard.”

  “Um, yeah,” I couldn't help but smile, “I...I dropped my notebook.” Jeez, he's cute.

  “Well, looks like you gathered it all up there. Say, you’re Jody's new little friend, aren't you?”

  “Oh, yes.” And just who are you?

  “Yeah, saw you at lunch, but I don't think you saw me. I'm Brad.” That’s Brad? No wonder Jody had a good camping trip. He stuck out his hand to shake. My mouth dropped as I extended my hand politely.

  “I'm Hope.”

  “Well, Hope, I hope you watch these corners, or I’ll have to use these guns to pick you up again.” Brad gave a small flex of his left arm and a quick wink before he flung out a smile in my direction. “You sure you’re okay?” His hand reached up and touched my elbow and I couldn't help but smile again.

  “Yes, I’m fine, thank you.”

  “Cool. Well, be careful, Hope. You never know who you might run into.” With another wink I watched him rejoin the traffic of the hallway.

  Jeez, did I just sigh? Losing him in the crowd, I turned the corner, but before I was able to take five steps, I noticed Jody standing just around the corner at my locker.

  “Hey,” I said.

  Jody said nothing, but had a scowl upon her face. She breathed in deep and in long strands. Quickly, she turned around and stomped off towards the gymnasium. She didn’t say anything to me at gym, either. I figur
ed it was because who needs directions at gym? You run, you jump, you do it all again, but this time faster so the coach thinks you have accomplished something in just three minutes. Jody didn’t even wait for me to get dressed, but stormed out of the locker room to her ride in the parking lot.

  It was the next day before I saw her. She had told me to meet her in the foyer every morning before school, which I did, but she was nowhere to be found. When I entered Mr. Peet’s class, I saw her sitting there waiting for the class to begin.

  “Hey, I must have missed you in our meeting area. Or did I have the time wrong?” She didn’t say anything so I didn’t push the conversation.

  Mr. Peet strolled in right after the bell and started ranting about credit. He even took his credit card out of his billfold and whipped it across the room like a Frisbee. I’d never seen anything like that before. What’s wrong with this guy? He was pretty funny though; still, the students were half asleep and really didn’t really care. It wasn’t till he mentioned his $20,000 spending limit that he finally caught the attention of a few of them. It must be hard being a teacher, I thought, especially at 7:55 in the morning. Who really cared about the mistake of some other generation at that time of day?

  When the class was over, Jody didn’t wait on me, didn’t grab me by the arm and cascade me to the next class. She didn’t even try to make a big deal about how she was going to help me or what I should expect from Jimmy Carter High School on my second day. It was like I didn’t even exist. Had I done something wrong? It was lunch by the time I had gathered up the nerve to ask. She was standing next to me getting what looked like lasagna dumped on her tray.

  “Jody?”

  “What?” she snapped.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” Yeah, right!

  “Really?” I questioned as the same goo splashed against my tray. “You just don’t seem like you were yesterday.”

  She turned on me quickly. “Well, that was before some prissy New Yorker tried to come down here to my school and take my friends, show me up in class, and steal my boyfriend!”