by E. L. Todd
“Can you calm down and let me tell you what happened?”
He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at me.
I picked up my phone. “He texted me and told me he wanted to talk. I said no but he came to my apartment anyway.” I handed him the phone. “You can read the conversation.”
He unlocked the phone and looked through it. “Then why did you let him in?”
“He said he wanted to talk…I thought I’d listen and then he would leave.”
“All you had to do was call me and I would have taken care of it.” His eyes burned into mine.
“I wanted to know what he wanted.”
“Why? What the fuck does it matter?”
“I don’t know! I just wanted to know.”
He shook his head slightly. “And what did the asshole want?”
“He apologized for the way he treated me.”
“Why the fuck would he do that?”
“His fiancé dumped him and he said he knew how I felt. He wanted me to know that it bit him in the ass and now he was paying for it. That he feels as shitty as I did. Payback.”
“He came all the way here just to say that?” Flynn wasn’t buying it. “He was here for another reason. What was it?”
I knew this was going to be bad. “He wanted me back.”
His eyes widened. “And what the fuck did you say?”
“What kind of question is that?” It pissed me off he even had to ask that. “What the hell did you think I said, Flynn? I’m in love with you and I’m moving in with you. Why would I go back to him? That’s insulting.”
“It’s insulting that you let your ex into your apartment.”
“All we did was talk.”
“No.” His voice sliced through the air. “After everything he did to you, you don’t owe him anything, Hazel. Nothing.”
“I…I felt bad for him.”
“Or you still have feelings for him.”
“God, no,” I snapped. “Absolutely not. Even if I never met you I wouldn’t take him back. Why the hell would I want him when I have you? It makes no damn sense, Flynn. You need to calm down and start thinking straight.”
He stepped away from me, the anger shaking his limbs. “If I had my ex in my apartment, you’d leave me.”
“No, I wouldn’t. If you told me what happened, I would listen and believe you.”
He laughed. “Yeah right.”
“Flynn, I trust you. I wouldn’t have moved in with you if I didn’t.”
“About that,” he snapped. “Let’s just forget about it.”
My heart sunk. “What…?”
“If you want to have your ex over all the time, then you obviously aren’t ready for a real commitment.”
My heart fell to my stomach. Tears coated my eyes. “I didn’t do anything wrong…”
“You should have called me.”
“Well, I didn’t. Too much was going on.”
He didn’t look at me.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. He took back his invitation for me to live with him—just like that. He changed his mind. If he could change his mind so quickly about that, how did I know he wouldn’t change his mind about me with a snap of a finger? My breathing was heavy and I tried to control it. “I think you should go.”
“Yeah, I think that would be best.” He walked out and slammed the door.
As soon as I heard the silence, I burst into tears and sobbed my heart out.
5
Cortland
When I saw her enter the restaurant, I knew it was she. Her blonde hair reached her shoulders and it framed her face. Blue eyes shined in the dimly lit restaurant. The tight black dress she wore highlighted large breasts, a curved hourglass figure, and long legs. She was definitely attractive.
I stood up when she approached the table. “I’m Cortland. It’s nice to meet you.” I extended my hand to shake hers.
She eyed me for a moment, her eyes lingering on my chest and height. Then she drilled into my face, observing every curve and line. When she smiled, I knew she liked what she saw. “Kacey.” She shook my hand.
I pulled out her chair and helped her sit down.
She gave me a look of approval. “This is already off to a good start.”
I sat across from her and immediately felt nervous. I couldn’t believe I was actually on a date with a girl. It felt wrong. I kept thinking about Monnique, probably sitting at home eating dinner by herself. I’d rather be there than here. But I tried not to think about it. “Thank you for meeting me,” I said politely.
“Wow. It’s pretty and it’s polite.” She gave me a wide smirk. “Flynn knows the right men.”
I blushed slightly at her words. I knew I should return the compliment. “I like your hair.” God, I sounded so lame.
She smiled. “Thanks. So, what do you do for a living?”
“I’m the IT director at Linguistics Software.”
She nodded. “Impressive. You like it?”
I nodded. “I understand computers better than people.”
She laughed lightly. “You’re a geek. That’s cute.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know about that second part but I’ll take the compliment anyway.”
“And humble.” She eyed me for a moment. “I think I hit the jackpot.”
I blushed again. “What do you do?”
“I’m an accountant. I work for a small business in Soho.”
“Cool. Where did you go to school?”
“A small school in New Hampshire. How about you?”
I knew she would be impressed with my resume. “Harvard.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow. How the hell are you single?”
My face was even redder than it was before. “I…I don’t know.” I had no idea how to answer that.
“Luck is on my side tonight.” She opened her menu and browsed the selections. “Everything looks good.”
I eyed mine but I wasn’t hungry. I was sick, actually. The guilt weighed on me. “I’m getting the chicken scampi.”
“Hmm….excellent choice. But I think I’m getting the chicken pasta.”
“Excellent choice.”
She put her menu down then gave me her full stare. She had an oval face with high cheekbones. Her lips were full and she didn’t wear too much makeup. I liked that. “What do you do for fun, Cortland?”
“I like sports, playing basketball with my friends, going to the movies, just normal and boring things.”
“I don’t think you’re boring.” She looked at me like I was a painting.
“What do you do?”
“I love yoga. I personally hate sweating, so that minimizes it. I love shoes. If you saw my closet you would see it’s an obsession. My girlfriends are everything to me. And I love Campbell’s soup.”
“Why?” I asked.
“It’s the easiest dinner in the world.”
“I thought take-out was,” I teased.
“You have to wait for them to deliver it, and waiting is the worst part.”
I smirked. She was pretty cool. But now I couldn’t think of anything to say. I hated talking to strangers. It was just awkward.
Luckily, the waiter came over and took our order. I ordered a bottle of wine for the table so I could take the edge off.
“How do you know Flynn?” she asked.
“He’s dating my best friend.”
“Hazel?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“I’ve never met her but Flynn seems smitten with her.”
I nodded. “He does.”
“I’m happy for him.”
I wondered if she ever slept with Flynn. That would be weird…”You guys are friends?”
“Actually, colleagues. We worked together a few times.”
That was a relief.
“How did you meet Hazel?”
“She and I went on a blind date. But we became friends instead.”
“Wow. Is she gay?”
I smirked. Th
ese compliments were making me feel dizzy. “We were just better friends than lovers.”
“Well, Flynn is a great guy so she still got a catch.”
I nodded. “I like him.”
We made small talk about TV and sports. Apparently, she got season tickets to the Knicks through work. I was a little jealous. Sean and Mike never offered anything like that, but then again, I had the easiest and high paying job in the world. I really shouldn’t complain.
The waiter brought the food and it was nice to do something other than stare at each other. When she looked into my face, I felt nervous. I hadn’t been on a date in so long that I didn’t know what to do. It was just weird.
“You seem nervous,” she said.
I smirked. “I make it obvious, don’t I?”
“Well, don’t be. Because I already like you, Cortland. I know I’d like to go out with you again.”
I guess I wasn’t doing that bad. I assumed she thought I was a loser. I guess not.
She sipped the wine, savoring the taste. “This is good.”
“I’m not going to pretend to be a wine aficionado. I asked the waiter to bring something he recommended.”
“Then compliments to him.”
I finished my dinner, feeling full. I wasn’t as nervous as I was at the beginning of the date but the guilt was killing me. I kept thinking about Monnique, wishing I were with her instead of on a date with a random person. The conversation was just easier with her. It had always been easy.
“What are you thinking about?”
I stilled, realizing I drifted away too long. “If I should order dessert.”
“That’s a no brainer. The answer is always yes.”
I smirked. “Want to split a slice of tiramisu?”
“Duh.” She rolled her eyes.
I chuckled then put the order in.
When he brought the piece, he put the tab on the table. I immediately threw my credit card inside so she wouldn’t even try to do the check dance.
She eyed me. “You didn’t even give me a chance.”
“That’s the point.” I took a bite. “This is awesome.”
“I’m getting the tip.”
“Don’t even think about it,” I warned. I took another bite.
She picked up her fork and dug in. “I feel like you’re from a different time period. You’re too much of a gentleman.”
I raised an eyebrow. “The guys you go out with don’t always pay?”
“You’d be surprised.” She ate her half then wiped her mouth with a napkin. “I could eat that all day.”
“That makes two of us.”
When the waiter returned with the receipt, I signed it then left a twenty on the table.
Kacey eyed it.
“Don’t even think about it.”
She finished her wine then smirked at me. “I won’t dance with you. But I hope I can pay next time…if there is a next time.”
“I don’t let girls pay for anything.”
“Ever?” she asked incredulously.
“It’s just how I am. I’ve always been that way.”
“Wow,” she said. “Your parents did a good job raising you.”
I shrugged. “I’m a bit of a mama’s boy.”
She smiled. “I like mama’s boys. If they treat their mother with respect, they’ll treat you the same way.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. I let the silence stretch. “Ready to go?”
“Yes.”
We left the restaurant then headed to the sidewalk.
“Can I walk you home?”
“Yes. I was hoping you’d ask.”
I put my hands in my pockets and walked beside her.
She hooked her arm through mine and walked beside me, not afraid to be affectionate. I felt odd touching someone else. The only girl I’d been touching for a year and a half was Monnique. It didn’t matter how innocent the touch was. It still felt wrong.
When we reached her apartment, she didn’t reach for her keys. She stood in front of me, looking at me expectantly.
Shit. She wants me to kiss her.
She moved closer to me, getting ready to make the move herself.
I didn’t know what to do. Should I let this happen? Wouldn’t it be wrong? I wasn’t ready for that. But if I wasn’t, why was I on a date at all?
She didn’t give me a chance to think about it too hard. She grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled my lips to hers. When they touched, she kissed me slowly, taking her time. Her lips played with mine, kissing then sucking. Then her tongue slipped into my mouth, parting my lips.
I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t hate kissing her, but I didn’t like it either. Monnique was in my mind. The kiss was too different than what I was used to. I was used to the sighs Monnique made, the way her hand would cup my cheek in a heated embrace.
This wasn’t fair to Kacey. How could I kiss her when I was thinking about someone else? She was an exceptional kisser, one of the best I’ve ever had, but I didn’t feel anything. I pulled away abruptly, feeling my lips burn.
“I’m sorry…I can’t do this.” I stepped away and looked at the ground.
She eyed me, but she didn’t seem upset. “What’s bothering you? Was it the kiss?”
“No. The kiss was good.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Then what’s on your mind?”
“Someone else,” I said honestly. Now I felt like a fucking asshole. “I’m sorry. I got out of a serious relationship not too long ago. I’m trying to date to see if I can move on or if I even should. I didn’t mean to deceive you. I’m just going through a hard time…”
“Deceive me?” She came back to me and rested her hands on my arms. “It’s okay, Cortland. Thank you for being honest.”
“I’m sorry,” I said again. I met her gaze and sighed. “You’re very beautiful and I had a really great time, but…”
“You’re in love with someone else.” She said it without emotion.
“Yes...”
“Then why aren’t you with her?”
I shook my head. “It’s a long story. I won’t bore you with the details.”
“Well, if you’re trying to get over her, I can help with that.” A dark look was in her eyes.
I didn’t respond because I didn’t know what to say.
“Cortland, even though you’re hooked on someone else, you’re the best guy I’ve been out with in a long time. You’re a total catch. And I’m willing to be patient with you.”
What did that mean?
“So, I’m going to make this really easy on you.” She cupped my face then pressed her mouth to my ear. The proximity made my breathing hitch. “If you come inside, you’re going to get laid. You don’t have to call me again and you don’t owe me anything. No strings attached.” She pulled away then kissed the corner of my mouth.
I can’t believe she just said that to me. She wanted to fuck me even though she knew I was thinking about somebody else.
She unlocked the door. “I’ll leave it unlocked. If you don’t come inside, it was nice meeting you.” She shut it and disappeared.
I stayed on the other side of the door, thinking about the decision before me. How would I know if I could move on from Monnique if I never really tried? And I wasn’t hurting Kacey. A one-night stand seemed to be what she wanted. And she was very attractive…
I walked in a circle in front of her door, unsure what to do. Should I have sex with someone else? Monnique never did. She made a lot of mistakes and fucked up, but she never touched anyone else. Could I do it?
Ryan’s voice kept blaring in my head, telling to be a man and drop my pants. This was so hard. What do I do?
I stared at the door for a long time before I finally walked inside. It was dark. All the lights were off. Only the brightness from the streetlights drifted through the window.
“I knew you would make the right decision.” She was standing in the doorway to her bedroom, wearing a black bra and matching thong. H
er blonde hair framed her face and cascaded around her shoulders. She wore black pumps, her perfect body noticeable.
I swallowed the lump in my throat while I looked at her. “Uh…”
She lifted up her hand then directed me toward her with her index finger. She sauntered into the bedroom and disappeared.
I took a deep breath and followed her, realizing what I was about to do.
When I walked inside, she immediately kissed me and pulled me next to her bed.
I tried to not think about anything except what was happening between us. I cleared my thoughts, just thinking about her body. Our labored breathing filled the enclosure while we kissed each other. The smacking and caresses played lightly on my ear. Her fingers fidgeted with my clothes, slowly peeling them away.
My hands finally touched her, feeling her smooth skin. It was warm under the touch. She moved my hands to her breasts, making me squeeze them. Her forwardness was a turn on. She was babying me, helping me get through this. My hands moved to her ass and I felt the muscle. I forced myself not to think about Monnique. I had a beautiful woman that wanted me inside her. That’s all that mattered right now.
When I was naked, I was suddenly aware of my body. No one had seen me besides Monnique in a long time. I felt like I gave a part of myself a away, something that just belonged to Monnique. And that made me sad.
Kacey unclasped her bra and dropped it. Then she pulled her underwear off. Her lips returned to mine and she guided me to the bed then on top of her. We kept kissing because of a big obstacle. I wasn’t hard.
I tried to get him up but I couldn’t. Kacey was a gorgeous woman and I would have picked her up from a bar in a heartbeat, but I just wasn’t feeling it. She was trying her hardest to seduce me, but I felt too much pain. I couldn’t do this. Even if I was physically able to, I couldn’t.
“I’m sorry.” I pulled away and sat at the edge of the bed, trying to hide my face. “You’re so gorgeous, Kacey. It’s not you. It’s me.”
She sat beside me, still naked. “I know.” She placed her hand on my back and rubbed the skin. “You really love this girl.”
I leaned over and rested my elbows on my thighs. “I wish I didn’t…”
“Tell me what happened.”
I sighed and started from the beginning. I told her how she left me because of what I did with Scarlet, how we got back together and we were perfect, and then the magazine fiasco. “I guess I’m just sick of all the problems. She shouldn’t have left me to begin with, and then the fact she didn’t even know if she slept with someone really hurt me. I’ve been nothing but perfect to her.”
