by Claire Adams
I kept looking back at Nate as he carried Ana up the three flights of stairs. He was being sweet to her and whispering something in her ear again as he carried her. She had her arms wrapped around his neck and her head resting on his chest. It was a sweet sight to see Nate being so kind.
Since I had met Nate originally, he seemed so much like a jerk. He was flirting with me and PJ so much on that first night and acting like a bit of a chauvinist pig. I was surprised to see how kind he was with Ana and just how good of a guy he really was. He obviously had been showing off and trying to play the ladies man before. But there, with Ana, he was a perfect gentleman.
When we got to the third floor we knocked on Chase and Jordan’s room. The anticipation was killing me as we waited for Jordan to open the door. When Jordan opened the door, she was already crying as she reached out to Ana and grabbed her. Jordan was crying so hard that it was hard to understand what she was saying.
“Ana, Ana, you’re okay. Oh, my God. You’re okay,” she said as she wrapped her arms around Ana and pulled her out of Nate’s arms.
Nate let Ana go, but he stayed close to make sure she was strong enough to stand up by herself. Ana looked confused and out of it but as she stood up she looked at Nate and then toward me and back to Jordan. It took her some time to figure out that Jordan was real. The moment was real. Then Ana wrapped her arms around Jordan and the two girls collapsed to the ground in tears.
I couldn’t understand what they were saying to each other, it sounded like they were speaking in German, but I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that the day had ended happily and we had just delivered Ana to her friend who had been worried and looking for her for months.
“Should we give them space?” Chase said as he looked at Nate and I.
“Yep,” Nate said. “See, Ana, I promised you it would be worth it.”
Ana looked up from her tears and smiled at Nate. She had a beautiful smile that I couldn’t remember seeing since the time when she had first arrived at my apartment. There was a new light in her eyes and it looked like she actually recognized me.
“Roxanne, you’re here?” Ana said as she looked at me and suddenly realized I was there.
“Yep, I’m glad you are alright,” I said as we turned to leave the two women so they could have some time.
“Thank you,” Ana said as she looked at me, then Nate and Chase.
As Nate let the door close, we could hear the girls talking and crying. It felt good to do something so outrageous like we had done that night. It felt better than I ever imagined something could feel.
“We’ll catch a plane back to Atlanta in the morning if you want to come and get your dog,” Chase said as I opened my hotel room door.
“Oh, yes, that would be great.”
“And, I’ll wire the rest of the money to your account. Thank you so much for being here with us. I don’t think we could have done this without you,” he said.
It made me feel good to hear that he appreciated me. I felt pretty damn good for the work I had done, too. I couldn’t wait to sleep all night long and then start my new life in the morning. I was ready to leave absolutely everything about my past behind me and move forward.
“Thank you, Chase,” I said as I hugged him. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“By the way, I have a text from Jackson and he says he’ll see you in the morning, as well. He’s staying with PJ to make sure her boss arrives. PJ is stable and doing well.”
“Oh, great. I’m so glad she is doing alright. I was worried with all that blood.”
“Have a good night. Sleep well,” Chase said as he walked with Nate down to his room.
I jumped up and down with excitement after I closed the door to my room. Jackson had made a point to get a message to me. Jackson was thinking about me, just like I was thinking about him.
I had been so worried he was angry with me for going to Stephano’s house. I knew it was a bad decision and I should have talked to Jackson first, but everything had worked out alright now. I couldn’t wait to see Jackson in the morning.
Surprisingly, I feel asleep fast and didn’t wake up at all throughout the night. I was so exhausted from the last few days, my body must have been very grateful to have a full night of sleep.
When I woke up, it was to a knocking at my door. It wasn’t a normal knocking, though. It was a slow and light tapping on the door. I hurried out of bed and ran to look through the peep hole to see if it was Jackson.
“No one’s home,” I teased him as I saw his smiling face standing in front of my room.
“Oh, okay. I’ll leave,” he said as he walked away.
I quickly opened the door and was about to tell him not to leave when he grabbed me and pulled me into my room. I couldn’t help but giggle at how excited he was to see me. It made me absolutely insanely happy to see him smile like that.
“You look happy,” I said as I held onto him.
“I’m not. I’m in a horrible mood. But you know what would make me feel better?”
“A hamburger?” I teased.
“Well, yes, a hamburger, but you know what else?” He pulled something out of his back pocket after he let my feet touch the ground again. “If you would go with me.”
I grabbed the papers out of his hands and looked at them. They were plane tickets and I searched them to see where they were to.
“Bali?” I said as a look of confusion covered my face.
“Yes, Bali. We need a vacation.”
I couldn’t help but smile at how damn excited he was as he held my hands and waited for me to answer him. I had never been overseas and I didn’t know a thing about Bali, but it seemed like a fun place to go. If Jackson and I could go there together, then it was the perfect place to go.
“Yes,” I said as I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. “Do you think my dog Bull could go with us?” I asked with a smile on my face.
“If it will make you happy, we could take anyone or anything with us you would like.”
“I’m teasing, I’m sure Jordan and Chase could keep him there.”
“Now, let’s go get that hamburger before our flight to Atlanta,” Jackson said as he grabbed my hand and we headed out of the hotel room and into a life neither of us knew was ahead of us.
Epilogue
JACKSON
We all boarded the plane on our way back to Atlanta around eleven o’clock in the morning. It was a beautiful sunny day and the perfect start to Roxanne and I spending some quality time together.
Jordan and Ana were inseparable as they climbed the stairs of the private jet. Nate and Chase weren’t too far behind the girls as they carried a few of their bags onto the plane.
Ana wasn’t feeling good at all and had been vomiting since she woke up that morning. It was likely a combination of the excitement and the drugs that her body was withdrawing from. There wasn’t much we could do for her until we got back to Atlanta so Jordan just kept her close and tried to comfort her as we loaded the plane.
“You look different,” Roxanne said to me as I waited for her at the bottom of the steps.
“This is me relaxed,” I said.
“I like it. I definitely like you relaxed,” she whispered in my ear. “You know, I’ve never joined the mile-high club before.”
My eyes got big as I looked at her and then looked around to see if anyone else had heard what she had said to me.
“Oh, me, neither. I think that’s the perfect idea.”
I slapped her ass as she walked up the steps and onto the jet. It was amazing how great I felt. I couldn’t remember feeling that happy in a very long time. Roxanne had agreed to travel with me for a few weeks in Bali. Jordan and Chase were going to keep her beloved dog for her, and Ana was going to get the help she needed at a private clinic in Atlanta.
As we closed the jet doors and got ready for takeoff, I couldn’t think of anything else that would have made the moment any better. I sat there looking at my brothers and how happy they were
. Nate sure seemed to have taken an interest in Ana, while Chase and Jordan seemed more in love than ever before.
“Ana, when you’re finished with treatment you could come and stay with me at my cabin for a little bit. It’s quiet and calm and would give you a good chance to get back into life,” Nate said as he sat next to Ana and held her hand.
I watched as Jordan looked at Chase and smiled a huge smile.
“It might be better than staying at our house. We are having a bunch of remodeling done and it’s like a warzone there,” Chase said.
“We can figure it out later,” Nate said.
I had never seen Nate so worried about someone before. Something about Ana had a hold of him, and I knew exactly what it was because the same thing had happened to me when I met Roxanne.
Sometimes, you meet someone and you just know they are going to have to be in your life. They are going to have to be a part of your future.
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Nate
The Complete Series
By Claire Adams
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2016 Claire Adams
Chapter 1
ANA
“Are you ready for today?”
“I think so,” I said, not believing a word I was saying.
“Ana, this is your opportunity to tell your best friend and others how grateful you are for them rescuing you. You have talked about the fear that you were going to die; now it is time to let it go,” my counselor at Sandy Meadows, Mike, said.
He was right: I had been having nightmares since the moment I arrived. Each one almost identical, where I end up dying in the basement of Stephano Copal’s home. My time there was a bit of a blur because of all the drugs he was shoving into my system, but I could still feel the deep fear that had run through my body. Now, even though I knew I was free and safe, I sometimes was overcome with that same fear.
My counselor had told me over and over again that someday I wouldn’t fear Stephano at all. He said that I would be strong again and would look at the world in a different way, without fear clouding my view. But I really couldn’t see that in my future at all. I couldn’t imagine a day when I wasn’t afraid of absolutely everything around me. It was weird though, because I had lived my entire life without fear, up until the moment that I laid eyes on Stephano.
If it hadn’t been for Jordan and her husband Chase, I certainly wouldn’t have made it out of that situation alive. I wanted to thank them both for everything they did for me, but every time I practiced saying the words, I felt my body start to shake with the memories. In fact, I had asked them not to come visit me at all over the previous six months because the fear was so much that I couldn’t stand the thought of having to deal with it. They didn’t listen to me and had tried to visit several times, all of them going horribly wrong. But as my discharge date approached, Mike knew that I was going to have to deal with these emotions and had forced me to set up a visit.
“My hands are shaking. I still remember that fear so vividly,” I said as the tears started down my face. “I feel afraid right now. It’s ridiculous, I know.”
“Let’s talk about that fear. Is there anything in this room that will hurt you?”
I looked around the room. I knew what he was getting at. Logically my brain knew that I was safe in that meeting room, but my body kept slipping back to the horrible experiences I had endured at Stephano’s house. Just the thought of having to talk about the events with Jordan and Chase had my heart racing and my body shaking.
“I know what you mean; I know there is nothing here.”
“Then just let the anxiety come. Let your body shake. Let your body sweat. Give your body the chance to work through its feelings. If you know you are safe, then there is no harm in letting your body experience the anxiety. I’m going to go out and get Jordan and Chase. You take a few deep breaths.”
“So I’m not supposed to trust my body right now?”
“No, you’re body is confusing normal events with fearful ones. Trust me, or trust someone else around you when you’re unsure if something is a danger. But more than likely, you are safe and your brain is making you feel fear. It will be like this for a while. Trust the people around you.”
I felt like I was going to pass out as I sat at the table waiting for them to come in. Slowly, I took in a few deep breaths and tried to get my body to relax, but there was no hope. Everything I did just seemed to make my anxiety worse.
Over the previous months, I had struggled much more than I thought I was going to struggle. It was beyond frustrating to feel so out of control over my own body. I had never experienced something like it before. The physical withdrawals were hard, but the mental process of getting over the fear was much harder for me.
I had been in control my entire life; I was an alpha female who always went after what I wanted. I hadn’t really even known fear—well, not a fear like the one I knew now. To me, life was about facing fear and overcoming it. Sure, I was afraid to come over to the States and meet this guy I had only known briefly online, most of our interactions making place via webcam. But I pushed against that fear and came anyways. Now all the thoughts I had to push against led me to more fear; I just couldn’t seem to break through and get back to the person I knew I was deep down.
Instead, I sat in that chair shaking as I waited for Jordan and Chase to come and visit with me. I couldn’t tell why my body was reacting so fearfully, but I couldn’t stop it either. I was embarrassed that I couldn’t keep myself together even for a visit with one of my best friends. I was ashamed that I had fallen for Stephano’s tricks; I was disgusted that I had let myself get into that situation. It was even worse that I had needed to spend the last six months in a treatment facility because I wasn’t strong enough to get over everything on my own. I felt broken and I didn’t want my friend to have to see me that way.
“Ana!” Jordan said as she flung her arms around me and hugged me so tight I could hardly breathe.
Her arms felt like home to me and I was instantly much calmer, although my body continued to shake. I was used to the shaking that my hands did, it was almost constant now that I had started to discuss leaving the treatment facility. On every other visit, I had cancelled or just not shown up to see Jordan and Chase. I knew she was worried sick about me.
Sometimes my brain knew my fear was ridiculous, yet I couldn’t stop my body from reacting. Other times, my brain didn’t know at all what was going on. It was a delicate balance and I couldn’t tell which times things were going well and which times they weren’t. I felt like that would be the key for me, when I was able to tell the good thoughts from the bad and squash the bad ones before they took over my whole thought process.
“Hi, Jordan. Hi, Chase,” I managed to say quietly as they both came in and sat down.
I really didn’t know Chase all that well, besides what Jordan had told me over her letters. She and Chase had fallen in love after she came to the United States. He was her prince charming and I was so happy for her. Jordan had done a much better job of picking a man than I had when we came over to the U.S.
“How are you feeling?” Chase asked as he reached for Jordan’s hand and held onto it.
The two of them exchanged a look of concern for me that made me instantly feel like shit. I could see the worry in their eyes. It was the same thing I felt when I looked at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t the person I wanted to be; instead, I was a weak and shaking girl who really just wanted to curl up in the corner somewhere and have everyone leave her alone.
“I’m great,” I said sarcastic
ally.
I had just spent months in a counseling facility trying to regain my footing on life, but I was better that day than I was the day before. Sometimes when I would think about the future, I just kept imagining that if I got one step better each day, sooner or later, I would be totally better. Sooner or later, I would be back to myself again.
“Ana, would you like to talk with your friends outside instead of in here?” Mike asked.
He knew that the garden was a calming place for me—pretty much anything outside was better for me than sitting inside. I just hated to be locked away from the outside world. I liked the freedom of sitting and watching the nature around me. But I just wanted to get our visit over with. I knew Jordan and Chase wanted me to come home with them when I left treatment and I just needed to get the conversation over with so we could make the arrangements for my discharge.
“I’m fine here.”
I didn’t mean to sound rude, but I was sure that was how it sounded. Everything that I said seemed to sound rude in recent days. It was either the tone of my voice or the way I didn’t make eye contact with them, but I was aware of it and couldn’t change it. Well, I couldn’t change it just yet. I did have a feeling that I would be able to manage my tone better as soon as I got a grip on the rest of my conversations.
“Chase and I have missed you so much Ana. I’m glad you are doing well,” Jordan said sweetly.
“So when can I leave, Mike?” I asked sternly as I looked toward him.
“In a couple weeks.”
“Do you want to stay with Nate instead of us? He’s got a nice quiet cabin in the woods and it will be much calmer than our house which is still being remodeled,” Chase asked.
In my heart I knew he was just trying to be kind and offer me some quiet, probably because he saw me trembling so much. But unfortunately, I didn’t have control over my thoughts much at that point in my life. A feeling of rejection swept over me. As if they didn’t want me there; maybe Chase was put out by the idea I was going to come live with him.
