Loving Marcus

by Roxanne Greening

  I felt him before he spoke.

  “Should I ask why you’re here?” Lark’s dark voice sounded behind me.

  “I can’t leave her,” I told him truthfully.

  I listened as he sighed and stepped closer. Now we were shoulder to shoulder.

  “She doesn’t want you here. You want to know why?” He asked me, as his voice turned smooth.

  I was at a loss for words because I sure as fuck didn’t know the answer to the question.

  “She’s in love with you,” he told me. His voice went cold, “Do you love her, Marcus?”

  I didn’t bother looking at him. My eyes were still focused on the window. The air in my lungs left me as his words sunk in.

  “She asked for you to be reassigned. Want to know what I think?” He asked.

  I didn’t budge, not even a muscle twitched.

  “She thinks that she’s not enough for you to stay,” he waited a heartbeat then continued. “You fucked her in the bathroom like you would any of your woman.”

  The anger that I had been holding burst from me. Turning, I grabbed him by the throat, or at least I tried too. His hand was on my wrist before it reached its destination.

  “Don’t fucking talk about her like that. Father or not, death or not, I will fucking silence you,” the calm in my voice did not show the near volatile feelings that were overwhelming me.

  “Watch yourself, I’ve killed for less,” his voice held a hint of amusement to it. “I let you walk out of that room tonight out of respect for your father. I also wanted Willow to not hate me, but know this, break her fucking heart again and I’ll rip it from your chest, and feed it to you.”

  I didn’t doubt it for a minute. He smiled coolly at me as he backed away and the shadows swallowed him. Lark just gave me the green light. Now, the hardest part. Winning her over and getting her to forgive me.

  Sighing, I looked at the window again before turning away. It sure as fuck wasn’t going to be easy.

  Chapter 17

  Willow

  The water slid down my body washing away my sins, washing away the most beautiful moments of my life. My eyes closed and there were flashes of Marcus moving inside me, kissing me, loving me. It haunted me.

  I knew he was gone, and he wasn’t coming back. I did that. If I asked for him, saying that I changed my mind, it would send red flags. Also, nothing would change. He was still going to leave me and go home.

  I couldn’t hold him here. I wasn’t enough for him to want to stay. The reminder was like a punch to the gut. It didn’t help that I had to go out there and face his brother.

  The tears that I had been fighting leaked out of my eyes. They mixed with the hot water as it poured down my body in heated streams.

  The tears caressed the valley between my breasts dancing over my pebbled nipples and slid over my abdomen like a lover’s caress.

  I missed him more then I wanted to admit, even to myself. Questions swirled and tormented me. Why wasn’t I enough? How could I still love him? Why did I need him with a desperation that felt almost painful?

  I had no answers. No way to find them and no way to make them go away. My chest ached, it was a new constant pain. The questions haunted me like a phantom.

  There was still one question that I’ve been asking myself since I walked away earlier tonight. Ever since my feet carried me away from Marcus. What was I thinking?

  Chapter 18

  Willow

  The shower left me hot and lonely. After dressing in black yoga pants and a black tank top, I walked out into the living room.

  Cole was sprawled lazily on the couch with his legs spread out in front of him. His head was pressed deeply into the soft material of the couch.

  I then looked at the black tv screen in confusion. What the hell was he doing if he wasn’t watching tv?

  “Feel better?” His voice was smooth.

  “Yes,” I told him quietly.

  I was jonesing for the tv. I wanted to curl up on that couch and sink into the pretend world.

  “Mind if I watch?” I asked him quietly.

  “Sure,” he replied sounding amused.

  I smiled at his larger than life frame squished on the couch, try to sit lazily. I walked slowly over to the couch and dropped gently onto its surface. I pulled my legs to rest at an angle near my chest.

  The remote was sitting next to me where it hadn’t been just a moment before. Turning, I gave Cole another smile. His quick intake of breath had me frowning slightly.

  “You okay?” My voice held a tone of concern.

  “Yes,” he choked out.

  I honestly didn’t believe him, but why would he lie? Shrugging, I pushed the power button on the remote and sunk further into the plush material. My arm rested on the arm of the couch.

  The moment the screen lit up, I smiled. It was that movie with The Rock called The Rundown. I instantly started to laugh. The monkey was my favorite part, and I couldn’t wait to see it.

  Cole was giving me sideways glances. If I hadn’t already met Marcus, I would be fascinated by the beautiful man next to me. But, he was no Marcus.

  My thoughts of Marcus resulted in the air to thicken in the room. Was it getting hard to breathe in here?

  My thoughts drifted away as the movie progressed. Soon, I was holding my stomach as the muscles tightened to the point of discomfort. I couldn’t hold the laughter back. Cole even joined in, laughing hard.

  As the scenes changed, the light flickered across the room. I finally felt relief, and that had me sagging slightly.

  After everything tonight, I was finally at a place where he wasn’t invading my thoughts. Marcus never strayed far from my mind.

  Heat licked at my skin as the memories of tonight tried to take hold. I wanted to dream that he was going to charge through that door at any moment to whisk me away.

  I wanted him to promise me that he wasn’t going to leave, and I was enough for him. I needed him to walk through that door and tell me that he loved me like I loved him.

  My eyes darted in the direction of the door. I pleaded with it to open. He still had my key, right?

  “Willow,” Cole sighed.

  Turning from the door, I looked at the man on the couch.

  “He’s not coming,” his voice held a gentleness that had heated tears burning the back of my eyes.

  Lifting my chin, I told him, “I know.”

  His eyes looked at me with a hint of pity. I didn’t want or need his pity. Climbing from my small space on the couch I whispered, “Goodnight.”

  His reply was gentle and sweet, “Goodnight, Willow.”

  Closing the door quietly behind me I felt the first tear fall. I swiped it angerly away. So what? I didn’t care that he wasn’t coming.

  Sighing, if only that were true. Dropping to the bed, I pulled the covers over me and let the exaction I’ve been fighting wash over me. Marcus came to me here in my dreams.

  Haunting me, loving me, and needing me.

  Chapter 19

  Willow

  How long has it been? A week? Two? Five? I’ve lost track of time. The longer I’ve gone without him, the harder it was to breathe, focus, and think.

  So, what! My brain screamed. He wasn’t ever coming back, so get over yourself! It was right. How could I argue with logic?

  Cole has been funny and endearing, but it’s not what I wanted or needed. I sat down at the bar in my kitchen, and the counter’s smooth surface cooled my forearms as I rested them on it.

  Cole was cooking, and he was shirtless, again. It was something that I’ve grown used too. I laughed to myself since I know that bacon grease splatters really hurt.

  He didn’t even twitch. The man was seriously a work of frustrating art. I wanted to take his picture, lots of them. I bet I would sell out and have people begging for more.

  “I can hear you thinking all the way over here,” his voice held a hint of a smile.

  “I haven’t said anything. You must be imaging it,” I laug
hed. The man was a little crazy, but I guess you had to be in his line of work.

  “Spit it out, Willow,” his voice filled with laughter.

  “I was just thinking of all the woman who must be fawning over you. Is it hard to walk?” The words were hard to get out through the laughter that coated my voice.

  “It’s like a sea of zombies,” his voice held a hint of humor.

  I couldn’t help it. I almost fell over as his words bounced around in my head.

  “Just ask, Willow,” his voice was quiet.

  There were a lot of things I wanted to ask. How was Marcus? Did he move on? I tried to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. Is he touching, or loving someone else? Did he miss me like I missed him?

  I didn’t say any of that, though. Instead, I asked, “Can I take your picture?” I was a wimp, a sally, a little muffin. I laughed as that’s what my brother called us when we were afraid.

  “Willow, I think you may have gotten the wrong impression. I mean I like you and all,” he was giving me the were just friends speech.

  I sputtered in embarrassment and amusement, “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant to sell your ass.”

  I watched as his eyes crinkled at the corners of his blue eyes. Full of laughter he said, “art, huh?”

  “Yeah, I mean, don’t get me wrong you are adorable in the boy next door kind of way…” I laughed at the look on his face. It was full of indignation.

  “Boy next door? Are you fucking kidding me? Please tell me you’re joking, Willow,” he begged.

  I laughed harder. My stomach contracted as it worked hard. The air left me, and I fought to inhale.

  “Well if the shoe fits,” I finally got past my horribly embarrassing snorts of laughter. At least I wasn’t drinking anything, that was a bonus.

  I looked at his tan back. All of his corded muscles shifted, and I felt nothing. Sighing to myself, I thought of how much easier it would be if I wasn’t stuck on one Valisk brother.

  He turned to me again. His eyes blazed with both humor and a hint of insult, “I can’t believe you just said that to me,” his voice held a tone of awe.

  I laughed again. “So, about that picture?”

  “You really need to ask?” he said.

  “Well yeah, or I wouldn’t have,” I told him pointedly. I mean, it’s not like I go around and take peoples pictures without asking.

  “Not like I’m going to say no,” his hand swept down his torso, “I’ve been depriving the women of this world this amazing view.”

  I laughed harder than before. I was honestly at a loss for words. I knew one thing for sure, if it weren’t attracted to Marcus, I would definitely be one of those deprived women.

  A plate full of bacon and a toasted bagel coated with a thin layer of cream cheese was set gently on the counter. Just the way I liked it.

  Looking up, I smiled at his retreating back. I still didn’t understand this need for both brothers to care for me. I knew one thing. For the first time in weeks, I felt lighter, freer, and less consumed by Marcus.

  Chapter 20

  Marcus

  The night air was crisp, and it burned a path through my lungs. I watched as Joey climbed the stairs to his townhouse apartment.

  He didn’t know it yet but tonight wasn’t going to be his night. I sighed and felt the weight of my gun pressing into my lower back.

  I wore black jeans, black shoes, and a black hooded sweatshirt, which I pulled over my head. The clothes helped me to blend into the shadows which were cast by the space between the street lamps.

  Joey here fucked up. He was an enforcer for our family, a minor street collector. He went to the people who didn’t pay for the protection that the family afforded them. But, he stole money from us, a little here and there.

  His light flickered on. I watched as he shifted and moved in front of the couch. Striding closer, I laughed at how he looked at home in this shitty fucking neighborhood.

  He only survived living here because he was a member of the family. Tonight, we were taking back his position. I walked between the houses where there was a small gap of maybe three feet. I started to move with purpose.

  I needed to get this shit done, I haven’t seen Willow tonight. I needed to see her. Was she eating? Was she sleeping? My brother gave me small updates that consisted of one worded answers.

  The backdoor came into view, and the yard was dark. It was perfect for blending in, not that anyone in this area cared. Fuck, I could walk up to him and put a bullet between his eyes, and no one would look our way.

  This was the kind of place you went to if you were looking to cause mayhem. It held some of the worst people this city had to offer.

  As I turned the knob, I pulled the door open. The dumb fuck didn’t even bother to lock his back door. I walked into the warm room and fought the need to hold my breath. The room held a stench of something rotten.

  Reaching behind me, I palmed my gun with the silencer attached, giving it an extra length. The weight of it was comforting, like greeting an old friend.

  Joey was sitting in a leather lazy boy recliner drinking a beer and watching desperate housewives.

  Time was slipping away, and I didn’t bother announcing my presence. Without a word a lifted the gun and took a deep breath. Then, I pulled the trigger and watched the bullet as it left my gun.

  Joey’s head jerked forward as the bullet entered the back of his head. Brain matter poured out of his forehead and onto his leg.

  I turned and walked out of the house closing the door quietly behind me. The hood was still covering my head, and I slipped the gun back into the sweatshirt pocket.

  I walked to the beat-up car I was using and climbed into the clean interior. This car was used when we had to go into shifty places like this. It was a blending tool, a backdrop of sorts.

  Turning the key, I listened as it fired up with a sweet purr. I drove away and headed towards home. I needed to switch cars before heading to the one place I never wanted to leave. Willow.

  Chapter 21

  Willow

  I focused my camera on Cole, who was standing shirtless near the window in my apartment. The shot was going to be a big hit.

  His light brown hair was mused slightly, and the top button of his jeans was undone. Cole faced me in profile and looked like every girl’s fantasy come to life. Well, every woman but me.

  My fantasy was out there somewhere, doing god knows what, with god knows who. A tear slipped out of my eye at the thought of Marcus being with someone else.

  Was he touching her like he touched me? Kissing her? I felt a pain deep inside of my stomach at the thought. I hated my traitorous heart as it continued to long for him. It would never truly understand that he was gone. That he didn’t want me the way, I wanted him.

  My stomach churned as it has been doing all day. The sun started to set, casting a warm glow over Coles muscular body.

  Sucking in a breath, I pressed the button on my camera to captured the moment. I was sure this could possibly cause a riot at the next gallery.

  Reaching up I grabbed my hair and twisted it into a bun. Although, a few stray locks bounced out.

  Cole turned and looked at me. His eyes caught the light giving them a glow that had me sucking in a deep breath. Quickly, I pressed the button again and smiled at him.

  “You have no idea how thankful I am. These are going to be big sellers. Are you sure you don’t want any of the money?” My voice held a note of excitement that I felt.

  I watched as he shook his head, “Nah, keep it.”

  I nodded and turned while grabbing the bottle of water. Suddenly, I noticed it was already dark. Huh, when did that happen? I could have sworn the sun was just setting.

  Cole was still standing in front of the large window with the curtain removed to give the pictures a better backdrop. The shadows caressed him almost like they were welcoming an old friend.

  Quickly turned and pressed the button on the camera to capture what felt like
danger, what looked like danger. It was like freezing in time the sexiest shot I’ve ever taken.

  I waited for my heart to flutter, but it didn’t come. I didn’t even feel a twinge in the lady department. Cole’s head turned, and he stiffened. Something caught his eye.

  Stepping around the camera, I started to walk in his direction. Concern replaced the excitement that I was feeling.

  “Stay back, Willow,” his tone was firm.

  I didn’t want to listen to him. So, I quickened my pace and looked over his shoulder. I scanned the sidewalk and saw nothing.

  Confusion had me press even closer to Cole than I already was. I went on my tiptoes and my chest pressed against his back. Cole moved and tried to keep me from seeing whatever was out there.

  “Fuck!” He growled.

  The hairs on my body stood on edge as the feeling of being watched overcame me. I stepped back, and felt my chest rise and fall even harder and harder. Like the oxygen was being sucked out of the room.

  More curses poured from Cole as he watched outside my window. He pushed off the wall and walked towards my door.

  “Stay here,” he demanded.

  Shaking my head, I fought the need to kick him as he walked by. I didn’t like being told what to do. Sighing, I waited until he was almost to the door before shifting slightly in his direction.

  The sound of a fist pounding on my door resulted in me jumping slightly. Cole tensed his muscles as he turned the knob. He pulled it open and was ready for a fight. I could see it and read it on his face.

  Shifting closer, I watched as the door was pulled open. From this angle, I couldn’t see who it was. I took yet another step closer and then another.

  Hands shot out and gripped the doorframe hard. I could see the knuckles turn white. Whoever it was, he was pissed. Taking another step closer, I saw the person was wearing black clothing which covered his wrists.

  No one said a word, and I was getting increasingly curious as to who Cole was staring down.

  “It’s not what it looks like,” Cole finally broke the silence.